[[A/N Wow… it has been a long time hasn't it… I'm sorry. And this is a really bad update too… If anyone is still reading this, you're awesome, really you are and to make up for the lack of updates you've got and will continue to get for a while, I'm going to post some more random, fluffy nonsense for you all xx]]

Chapter 9 – Real Meanings

Matt

"Holy fuck, why am I so wound up about him? Why does it matter what he thinks? He's a fucking dick anyway. I can't believe I have to share my room with that fucking dick. What was L thinking? No, wait. I know what L was thinking. He wasn't thinking. How can a guy like L think me sharing my room with someone like Mello be a good idea. It isn't.

I need to calm down. I need to relax. I need to rip his head off his shoulders and show him that he can't walk all over me and treat me like a piece of shit. No, that would mean I'm just like him. Ignoring him is probably the best option."

I make my way back to my room, yes, that's right, MY room, hoping and praying that Mello isn't there yet. The last thing I need right now is him there, being smug about getting me into trouble. Luckily, he isn't.

I sit down on my bed and pull out my DS, as if on cue, Mello walks in, a stupid smirk on his face as if to say "I won, what are you gonna do about it?"

As he stares at me, I can tell he's dying to say something. I want him to. I'm sure I can be the bigger person and not rise to the bait. Couldn't I?

"So I heard that Roger guy wanted to talk to you," he said.

Yeah, right. As if he didn't know. I say nothing; silence has almost always gotten me out of trouble.

"Does your nose still hurt from where Mark hit you earlier?" he asked. The fucking coward, I bet he asked Mark to punch me because he was scared I might hit him again. I wouldn't, but I bet that's what he's thinking. Idiots always think like that.

Again, I answer him with silence. I know it's going to wind him up and I know the taunts are just going to get worse, but it doesn't matter… I am the bigger person… I hope.

"Well, it doesn't matter now anyway, it's not like we're going to be sharing a room for much longer. And my classes are being changed around so we'll never have to see each other again."

Good, I think to myself. I'd be glad to get rid of him. Life has been nothing but a battle since he strolled into my life, although I know it isn't his fault. He didn't ask to share a room with me. He didn't ask to be the second smartest kid at Wammy's. He didn't ask to have this inferiority complex that makes him want to kill anyone who's better than him.

But he did ask for me to open up to him. That annoyed me. He did continue to push until I snapped, which takes a lot. He did tell me about his family and his past, which explains a lot.

I could hear him stood behind me, watching over my shoulder as I tried to finish my essay, cracking his chocolate in such an irritating way it's almost unbearable. I shut down my computer and stood up. I couldn't handle being in that box of a room with him anymore.

I left the room and wandered down towards the courtyard. I wasn't supposed to smoke there, but I did anyway. As I walked out of the orphanage and into the courtyard, I saw Mark and his little henchmen picking on some of the younger kids. I was never one to get involved in other people's fights or whatever, but I don't think it counts when it's 8 teenagers onto 3 ten year olds.

"Mark, leave 'em alone," I said as I walked over. As Mark and his friends turned to face me, the three kids ran off. I looked between Mark and two of the bigger guys flanking him.

"Look, boys," Mark said. "Matty's come back for round two."

I said nothing. Instead, I glared at the two larger kids who were walking towards me. "Fuck," I thought. "I've got no chance against these."

"So that's how you get your kicks, eh," I said. "Picking on little kids until someone nearer half your size comes along. You really are a coward, Mark."

I know what to expect and I wasn't disappointed. A shower of fists rain down on my head and into my stomach. I feel my nose crack and break, I can taste the blood in my mouth, but I'm still standing. They still haven't knocked me down.

"Stop it," I hear someone growl. I recognise the voice, I know I do. As the punches stop, I fall to the floor, face down on the grass.

Mello

"The idiot. Why did he have to say something to them? Roger's gonna think I set this up, I know he is. Worse than that, Matt's going to think I set this up, fuck!"

Matt's lying on the floor, he's covered in blood, lying face down in the grass looking pathetic. I feel some sort of empathy. I throw his arm over my shoulder and drag him inside. I know I have to take him to the nurse's office because if I don't I'll be the prime suspect. I know Mark and his friends won't admit to this, of course, but it's better for them to be blamed than me.

"What happened here?" the nurse asks as I push open the door with my shoulder and throw Matt down onto the bed.

"A few kids beat him up," I say, more than aware that she doesn't believe me. I sigh, heavily. "I didn't do this."

The nurse looks at me sceptically. She thinks I'm lying and she wants to know how this happened. She looks at me and says, "Mello, you can leave now."

My eyes widen in shock. "I'm not going anywhere, I need to know that Matt'll be ok," I say, defiantly.

She looks at the redhead lying on the bed and looks back at me before letting out a resigned sigh and nodding. "Ok, you can stay, but only because if you did do this, you would want to be out of here as quickly as possible."

I sit down in the chair next to the bed. Matt already has dark rings forming around his eyes and his nose is swollen pretty badly.

I settle myself in for a long night, I can tell Matt is out for the count and other than cleaning and dressing his nose, there isn't much more the nurse can do before he wakes up.

After she's finished cleaning his nose, the nurse gives me strict instructions that if Matt wakes up, I'm to fetch her immediately. She leaves without another word, no doubt to fill in a report form for Roger who will undoubtedly want to see me in the morning.

I sit down on the chair next to Matt's bed and bring my knees up to my chest. I know I'm going to be asleep soon, it's almost 11:30. I just hope Matt doesn't think I was behind this, I may not like the guy at the moment, but a broken nose is taking things a bit far.

I never quite noticed how small Matt really is. He's thin and scrawny; he looks like he could do with a few good meals. He looks peaceful even though he's unconscious. His skin is pale, I never really noticed it in the bluish hue of our bedroom.

What am I doing?! I'm staring at him like a lovesick puppy!

I put my head on the bed next to him and think. I think about a lot of stuff, stuff that happened to me when I was a kid, stuff that could have happened to Matt, stuff that doesn't really make sense right now and stuff that I shouldn't be thinking about. I wait for sleep to consume me as one by one I relinquish my conscious senses. The last thing I think I hear is Matt mumbling "Goodnight Mello," Although I can't be sure if I dreamt that or not.