It's Raining Kittens

Part 2:

Summary: Life is hard enough but when you are two months old it can be even harder; unless you meet the right people.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm just playing with them.

Notes: My entry in the CCOAC challenge. The challenge – write from the pets point of view. My pet is a two month old kitten named Gunner and the main character is David Rossi.

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"What. The. Hell," the human yelled loudly waking me from a very nice dream where I was eating roast beef and getting my tummy rubbed. I opened my eyes and blinked at him. His nose was inches from mine. "Did you have an accident?"

"No. I did it on purpose," I told him.

"What am I going to do with you?" he muttered.

I blinked again not knowing how to answer that question. He sat up and ran his hand across the end of the bed.

"Shit!" he cursed. "Did you have to pee on the bed?"

"Yes," I replied. "Where else would I pee?"

I always peed in the bed so did my brothers and sisters. It was no big deal. Mommy's human changed out our bedding everyday. The human slid out of the bed grumbling to himself as he walked out of the room.

"Are you getting breakfast," I hollered as he closed the door. I stared at the door for a moment then snuggled back into the fabrics and fell asleep.

I awoke to the human once again carrying me someplace. He set me on a flat, cold, hard surface and stepped over to a big box. I watched as he picked up various items and moved around the room.

"Well kitty," the human said warmly. "Would you like some milk for breakfast? Maybe a little tuna fish? You have to promise me you'll chew it before you swallow."

"Does it taste like that roast beef I had last night?" I asked. "That stuff was pretty good."

He placed a bowl filled with liquid in front of me. I sniffed at it and once again my tongue went crazy. It was that milk stuff again. I lapped so quickly that some of it went up my nose. I sneezed in surprise.

"Easy," the human said gently. He reached over and rubbed my back. I couldn't help myself I arched into his touch and began to purr. The human chuckled. "Oh yeah you're hating all of this."

"Don't stop," I pleaded when he stepped away. I dropped my head back to the liquid and continued drinking as I watched him move around the room. After several minutes he sat a plate of something that smelled delicious on the surface a foot away from me. I sniffed at it.

"This is mine," he said warningly. He stepped away again and opened a door. A few seconds later there was a whirring noise and a click. He dumped whatever it was on a plate and carried it closer to me.

"You won't share," I asked. "You shared last night. What is that?"

I was suddenly distracted by the most tantalizing smell ever. He placed the plate in front of me then sat down. I sniffed at the pile of meat on the plate.

"Take your time," the human said as he started eating the food in front of him.

I took a tentative bite. Not bad, in fact it was very good. Kind of tangy, soft to chew, easy to swallow – I could get use to this.

"Don't get use to that kitty," the human said as he chewed his own food. "That's tuna fish and I don't think Penelope is going to feed you tuna fish. More likely you'll get dry food. I think you'll like her, she's good people. I call her Kitten."

I finished my breakfast at the same time as the human. I sat down and looked at the human as he moved the dishes to another area. A small burp escaped as I lay down for a nap, my tummy was really full!

"Hey wake up!" the human said as he picked me up. "It's time to go to work."

"Work? What is that?" I wondered.

We went outside and climbed into the big noisy box on wheels. He set me down next to him and the rumbling started.

"What the hell!" I yelled at him. I felt the box moving.

"It's ok," he said softly. He laid his hand on my back and softly stroked me.

"You're not taking me back to that mud-hole are you?"

He continued to stroke my fur and talk softly to me. I was still in a bit of a panic but I allowed myself to be soothed. I lay down and closed my eyes hoping that when I opened them again we would be back on the big soft bed.

We stopped somewhere and the human started talking to someone else I couldn't see then he grabbed two cups of some smelly liquid from outside the big moving box. The box on wheels started moving again and the human pushed a button causing music to waft throughout the enclosure. I settled down and waited to see where he was taking us next.

The human parked the box shutting off all the noise and opening the door. He picked me up then tried to pick up both cups of the smelly liquid. Apparently that wasn't working so he tucked me into the crook of his arm then moved to pick up the cups.

"Hey!" I squawked as he squeezed too tight. "Watch what you're doing bud!"

"This isn't working," the man muttered. He set me back in the box. I was just catching my breath when he picked me up again and slid me into a tight shaft that smelled like a dead cow.

"What the hell," I protested. His jacket closed over me cutting out all of the light as we started to move. "Let me out of here!"

"Quiet," the man said soothingly.

"Quiet? You want me to be quiet? I can't see anything and it stinks in here!" I yelled at him.

"What is that noise?" another male voice asked.

"It's my new gun," the human replied. He had stopped moving thankfully. I was getting quite jostled in this position.

"Your new gun?" the other voice asked.

The jacket was suddenly pulled back and I blinked in the harsh light.

"Oh thank you!" I sighed. I sucked in a lungful of fresh air.

"What is that?" the other man inquired incredulously.

The jacket closed again as the human shrugged. "A kitten; I almost ran the damn thing over on my way home last night."

"What did you bring it here for?"

"I'm going to give it to Garcia," the human announced.

"Excuse me!" I cried. "What's a Garcia?"

Both humans chuckled and we started moving again. I put my claws out to keep myself from slipping further into the narrow shaft. The human stopped again and I heard several voices talking back and forth.

"Kitten, I have something for you," the human said sounding happy.

"Are you talking to me?" I asked.

"What?" a female voice asked. The jacket was pulled back again and the human lifted me out of the shaft. I cried in relief as my rear legs were getting jammed in there and I was losing feeling in my feet. "Oh it's so cute!"

The female human took me in her hands and crunched me to her breast. I could barely breathe and when I did I got a big whiff of something flowery.

"Let me go," I protested. "I can't breathe!"

The female held me up and looked at my belly. "What's her name," she asked excitedly.

"Gunner," the male human replied.

I beamed. I liked that name. It was tough, it was rough, it was me!

"Gah," the woman responded. "It's a girl, Dragnet. You can't call a girl Gunner!"

"Sure you can," I interjected.

"See even the kitty hates it," the woman announced.

Obviously she couldn't understand me like the male human could.

"Call it whatever you want," the male human said. "It's yours now."

"What?" I screamed. "You can't do that! That's not how this works. I get to pick and I pick you! You're my human!"

I watched as my human turned and walked away ignoring my pleas to him. The female human cuddled me close again and tried to whisper soothing things in my ear but I was having none of that. I wriggled and strained trying to free myself from her grasp to no avail. I was stuck, for now.

I lobbied for my freedom while she carried me around and babbled in my ear. I was listening to none of it. After what felt like hours I realized my pleas were not being heard so I fell silent and worked on my plan of escape. The female human continued to babble at me. She had set me on the surface in front of her and I curled into a ball conserving my strength for my escape.

"I've got it," the female human shouted excitedly.

I popped my head up and looked at her. "Don't give it to me!" I exclaimed.

She giggled and squeezed her hands together. "I found the perfect name for you."

"Gunner?" I suggested.

"Listen to this," she smiled. "Petunia."

"Excuse me?" I shook my head. I must still be asleep.

"Penelope and Petunia," she gushed. "It's perfect."

I growled and curled into a ball again. "I don't think so," I muttered to myself.

She continued to babble about names and such as I tuned her out trying to concentrate on my escape plan. As it turned out Mother Nature helped me put my plan into action. Breakfast was starting to catch up to me and, well, I had another accident. And it wasn't just the wet kind either. Whew! And even I had to object to the smell.

"Oh my Gawd," the female human howled. "What is that smell? Petunia! What did you eat?"

I grinned and blinked at her as she covered her mouth and nose with her hand and rushed out of the room. I followed quickly behind her and slid through the gap just as the door was closing. The female didn't even notice me. She ran off down the hallway, I turned and ran the other direction back to where my human had gone.

The voices got louder as I made my way down the hallway and into the big room. I slipped under a desk and observed the situation. The human that had been talking to my human was sitting in a chair with his feet propped up. There was another male, not my human, and two other female humans all gathered together. I crouched down and waited not sure where my human had gone. I had time and I was very patient. It wasn't too long though before the female human, Penelope, appeared in the big room.

"Has anyone seen Petunia," she asked.

"Who?" the first man asked.

"Petunia! The kitten Dave gave me," she stated tearfully.

'So that's my human's name,' I noted. 'Dave.'

She sounded rather upset but I didn't let it dissuade me from my mission. My name is Gunner and I belong to Dave!

The female human was making such a scene that several people began gathering around. I was getting a little confused with all the humans and the noise they were making. They started to split up and looked under the desks. Some of them even called out "here kitty kitty" like that's going to work.

"What's going on?" a deep voice asked.

My ears perked up and I almost gave away my position in my excitement. It was my human, Dave! He was standing with another man listening to Penelope pour out her sob story about how she lost me. Pffftttt, I escaped! I shifted my position as the humans were once again distracted and moved closer to my target.

"Well she's has to be around here somewhere," Dave reassured the female. "Did you check the kitchen? Maybe she got hungry."

"Speaking of which," Penelope grimaced. "What did you feed that poor thing?"

"Milk and tuna fish," Dave replied blandly.

"Ugh!" the female human cried. "Oh my Gawd! Next time you get to clean it up!"

Dave chuckled and shook his head. "Not happening."

"We need to find this cat before Strauss does," the other male human stated.

"Right," Dave agreed. They all started to move apart again.

"Dave, you and Garcia check the kitchen," the male human directed. "The rest of us will check out here."

Dave and the female human started to walk past me and I made my move. I jumped out from under the desk and grabbed Dave's pant leg quickly shimmying up as high as I could. I reached his shoulder and sank my claws in for purchase.

"Ow," Dave yelled. "Son of a … I found her!"

"Sorry about that," I apologized.

"Petunia!" the female cried as she reached for me. I sank my claws in deeper and growled.

"Stop," Dave breathed painfully as he held his hand up in front of the human. "She's dug into my shoulder."

"Let me get her off of you," the female human offered.

"Don't touch her," another female voice ordered. Everyone stopped and Dave turned slightly. It was a small blond female speaking. "You need to let her calm down and release Dave on her own or she'll rip him to shreds."

"How do you suggest we calm her down?" Dave asked sounding strained.

"You should probably seclude yourself in your office until she feels safe," the blond female suggested.

I liked that idea. Just me and my human. What could be better?

"Ok," Dave agreed. "How long should it take?"

The blond human shrugged. "Depends on the cat."

Dave swiveled his head to look at me. "Really?" he asked.

"Yep," I replied then I licked his nose for good measure. He was mine and I was not letting go.