Let Go Of My Heart Chapter 6 : Bleeding Love, a twilight fanfic

A/N:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Song for this chapter: Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

Early Saturday morning I woke to my iPhone ringing. I rolled out of bed, grabbing it off the charger on my dresser, seeing that it was "Unknown".

Jacob.

"Mmm…lo?" Said in much of a whisper. I got back in bed and cuddled under the covers.

"Hey baby. Sorry I woke you." Jacob's husky voice came through the phone.

"S'ok" I mumbled back. "Where are you?" I yawned and stretched a little.

"We're in Guam. Should be here till Monday or Tuesday. How's it going?"

"Guam. Fun. S'going fine. Rosie and I are keeping each other busy and the kids entertained." Stretching a little more, I rolled onto my back and put my arm over my eyes.

"That's good. I'm glad you've got a friend to lean on." You have no idea Jacob.

"She's really great. I can see us being friends for a lifetime. Her husband should be home in about two more weeks, but I think it's only for like a week or two and then he's flying out to Thailand for a month or two I think."

"Well, that sucks. He might as well be on sea duty like me." He chuckled.

"Yea, she's hating it, but like I said, we're keeping each other entertained."

"Well, that's good. Got any big plans for the weekend?" he asked.

"Not really. I think we're taking the kids to Crown Point today. There's a little craft fair going on, but that's about it."

"Sounds like fun. Any of the kids awake yet?" he asked.

I listen for sounds of the TV coming from the living room, but I can only hear the white noise of the ceiling fan humming above my bed. "I don't know, let me check."

Lynette was laying on the couch, my little early riser, remote in one hand, and her beloved stuffed bunny in the other flipping the channels.

"Lynie, daddy's on the phone." I said, holding it out towards her, as she leapt off the couch to get it from me.

"Hi daddy! I miss you!" I heard her say, as I made my way back down the hallway. Madysen was stirring in her bed, rubbing her eyes, as I peeked in her room. "Hey baby girl, daddy's on the phone if you want to talk to him."

"Ok momma." She replied sleepily, her voice scratchy and climbed out of bed.

Robbie would be out for hours still, and he's only two and a half, he won't care that I didn't wake him to talk to Jacob, so I left him alone.

I went back to my room and climbed back under the covers. It's Saturday for crying out loud. My one day to sleep in.

About thirty minutes later, Madysen brought me back the phone. "Daddy has to go, but he said he wanted to talk to you first."

"Thanks baby girl. Love you."

"Love you too, momma."

"So did you get the scoop on the latest in the world of seven and five year olds?" I chuckled.

"Oh yea, they are hilarious. I miss them." He sighed. "Is the boy still asleep?"

"I know, and they miss you too. Yea, you have to call a little later if you want to talk to him about Lightening McQueen." I chuckle.

"I miss you Bella." Crap.

"I miss you too Jacob, but I am doing fine, so don't worry about me." Nonchalant enough?

"I know that's cuz you're a tough woman." And I could hear the smile in his response.

"So, umm…Jake, I was thinking that when the girls get out of school in May, I'm going to drive home and spend a few weeks of the summer there. Stay at my dad's. The kids can see their grandparents, and we'll celebrate the girls' birthdays with the family. Since we don't know a lot of people here, it will help make the summer go by faster, and give me a much needed break." I probably said all of that way too fast.

"I think that's a good idea. I know the kids will love it." He sounded happy, but I could hear the jealousy in his voice.

"Yea, and I'm sure my dad will love to have us there too. So, yea, that's what we're gonna do then." I sighed, glad that he wasn't making me feel bad for wanting to go home. I've said it before. He's good at making me feel like my decisions or feelings are invalid or insignificant.

"Are you kidding? Charlie will get a kick out of it, and I'm sure Lynie will be thrilled to go fishing with him."

"She will indeed." I yawned. "Ok, Jake, I'm gonna go back to sleep now and try and catch a few more hours of rest."

"Ok Bella. I love you. Hope you have a good day."

"Love you. Bye Jake."

I squint my eyes open and check the time on the clock. Nine-fifteen. I guess it's time I get out of bed. I can hear the girls in the living room laughing at whatever it is they are watching on TV. Robbie must still be asleep or he's being really quiet with them.

I jump in the shower and let the warm water soothe me. I can't remember if I dreamt last night, but that doesn't mean that my thoughts aren't already swirling around Edward. It's ridiculous really. How can one person control another's thoughts so dominantly throughout a lifetime? I'll be thirty-one this year, and as far back as I can remember, he's never been far from my thoughts. As much as I have tried to suppress the memories, they've been there. Every once in a while coming to the surface and making me stop and think about a moment or event with him.

Never like this though. Never before have they been this often that I can't put them back in their little locked box in my brain. Never before have they been everyday and more than once a day. Why now?

I shut the water off and step out. I wrap up in my terry cloth robe and wrap my long brown hair up in a towel. I need a haircut.

My phone chimes a text from where I left it on my bed.

Hey lady! We still on for the craft fair today? – Rosie

Yep! I just showered. So let me eat & then we can get going. – B

Hot! lol ok, text me when ur ready to go. I'm ready when u r. – Rosie

I knew u loved me for my body! lol – B

lol u know it! See ya in a few! – Rosie

I quickly towel-dried my hair and combed through it. I pulled it up into a messy bun on the crown of my head. I brushed my teeth and threw on just a little eyeliner and mascara. I still don't wear much make-up. I threw on my favorite pair of torn jeans and a quarter-sleeved gray thermal.

In the living room all three kids are snuggled up on the couch under a blanket. Robbie was in the middle with his head on Madysen's shoulder. They're so sweet to each other in the mornings. Why can't they get along so nicely all the time? The scent of syrup and waffles is in the air.

"Morning guys! Did everyone sleep well?" I ask sitting down next to Lynie.

"Yes!" they say in unison.

"Did y'all eat breakfast already?"

"I made waffles for everyone mommy." Lynie said proudly.

"That was very nice of you sweetie. Thank you. We're going to the park today with Rosie, so let's get dressed and ready to go ok?"

"Ok momma!" they all said as they jumped up from the couch and trotted off down the hall.

"Brush your teeth!" I remind them as I turn off the TV.

I make a quick bowl of cereal, and send Rosie a text.

R we walking? – B

Sure! – Rosie

Everything is so close here, that sometimes it's just more fun to walk and enjoy the fresh air. Plus, gas prices these days are outrageous, and I drive a Chevy Tahoe that thinks gas is chocolate milk and gulps it down. So, I usually only drive it to the gym and to base when I need to go to the commissary or the exchange. I'm really considering trading it in for something more economical. Everywhere else is close enough to walk. Plus, Chris said that the more active I am the quicker I will see results from the weight-training regimen he has me on. Have I mentioned lately that he tries to kill me on a regular basis? Because I honestly believe that he's on a mission to complete that task. Death by weights.

I finish up my cereal, set my bowl in the sink and head to Robbie's room to get him dressed. He's fighting to get a shirt over his head and I smile at him. The shirt is winning the fight. My baby boy is such a big boy.

"Hey guys? Where's Robbie? Anyone seen him? I can't find him!"

"MOMMY! Hep me!" he whines, peeking his eyes through the neck of the shirt, and I giggle at him.

"Oh, THERE you are! I couldn't find you." I laugh at him, and help him get his shirt on straight. I put him in a pair of jeans and his favorite blue Crocs.

"There ya go big man. Let's go see Ben!" and with that, he trots off down the hall to the garage.

"You ready girls?" I call out.

"Coming momma!" Madysen yells back from her room.

"I'm ready!" Lynie calls from the living room.

Back in the kitchen I pack us a snack bag and toss in a few juice boxes for the kids and water bottles for Rosie and I. I slip my flip-flops onto my feet and head into the garage. I unfold the double jogging stroller and hit the button to open up the overhead garage door.

"Sa-piiise!" Ben yells, arms up in the air as he catches sight of Robbie.

"You guys finally ready?" Rosie smirks from the driveway.

"Give me just a sec." I run back inside, grab the house keys and my cell phone and wallet. I hit the button again on the garage door and walk out the side door and through the backyard gate.

"Morning McCarty family! How are all of you this fine day?" I sarcastically asked, smirking at Rosie.

The craft fair isn't too crowded yet, but I suspect it won't be long. The girls are wandering in front of us stopping a booth after booth to check out all the different items that are being sold. Ben is in my stroller with Robbie and Zoe is sleeping in hers.

"Jacob called this morning. They're in Guam."

"That's cool. How's he doing?" she asks, as she's eyeing a handmade diaper bag.

"Seems ok. I can tell that he hates being gone again so soon. He sounded a little down, but ok for the most part." I was looking down at the stroller handle feeling a little nervous, but I needed to tell her.

"Rosie, I think I am going to go to Washington this summer." Still looking at my hands on the stroller I bite my bottom lip, but I can feel her turn to me.

"Seriously?" she half whispered.

I met her gaze. "Seriously. For more than just what you're thinking…"

"I'm not thinking anything." She interrupts.

"Rose."

"Bella, if seeing him and talking to him will get you're your closure or possibly even make you happy, then I am all for it. I just want you to be smart about it. Go with your head and not your heart." She turns her head and looks out towards the bay, seemingly gathering her thoughts for a long dramatic pause.

"I'm coming with you." She states rather matter-of-factly.

"What? Why? I mean, I'd love to have you with me, and to come meet my family, but I don't need a babysitter Rose."

"No, no. Emmett has family in Washington, Seattle actually. We could drive up together, in our own cars of course, but then you could see your family and we could see his. And we could get that chance to go out as adults since there will be plenty of people to watch the kids! It'll be great!"

And just like that, our summer plans were made. Deep down, I was thrilled that she was coming. I would need her support more than ever if I planned on facing Edward.

"Mom look! They have a Twilight blanket! Can we get it? PLEASE?" Sam begged.

"Twilight?" I asked, not sure what the heck she was talking about.

"Oh Bella, do I have a book series for you to read! Vampires and Werewolves, mmm, mmm, mmm."

"Oh no, no, no. Rose, I don't get into that hype. I didn't do the Harry Potter craze and I am not about to let you suck me into some crazy vampire craze." I laughed at her.

"Whatever, I'll turn you on to my secret addiction soon enough and you'll love me for it." She laughed back slyly. "The books are being made into movies and the first one comes out later this year. I have no doubt I'll have you hooked in no time!"

Great. Just what I need…vampires and werewolves consuming my thoughts too.

Later that evening after the kids were in bed and Rosalie had gone home, I sat down at my computer. Not that I was expecting it, but in the back of my mind I kept hoping that Edward would talk to me again. I didn't want to be the one that kept initiating the contact. No one likes a girl that seems desperate right?

Sure enough in my notifications was an inbox message from Edward. It'd been just over a week since I'd heard from him last, or we last had any communication. My heart rate sped up and probably missed a few beats as well.