Author's Chapter Notes:

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Song for this chapter: Need You Now - Lady Antebellum (they own it, I don't!)

All the music and photos for the chapters can be found on the story blog site linked in my profile.

The end of the school year was near and with parties and celebration days the girls were a hum of excitement. Anticipation for our upcoming trip home, knowing that Rosie and the kids were coming with us and that their birthdays were coming up soon, just added to their excitement.

So, on a Saturday morning the second week of June when both vehicles were loaded up and we were set to hit the road, I was thinking I may need a Valium just to make the two-day drive and not bound and gag them. The first day on the road would get us to Northern California where we would stop for the night. The drive through California itself is pretty bland. There's not much to the scenery, just miles and miles of farmland and surprisingly, desert. Sunday morning after a quick breakfast at the hotel restaurant we began day two of our trip. This is the part of the trip that makes you completely appreciate the Pacific Northwest. Oregon and Washington states have to have some of the most breathtaking scenery ever. I could be partial, but honestly, it's simply stunning.

It was about ten at night when we arrived at my father's house in Forks. He still lived in the same charming house that him and my mother bought when they first were married, and where I spent every summer until I finally moved in with him in high school. The front porch light was on, and I could see the glow of the television coming from the living room window. As I stepped out of the car, I was met with the cool moist air, and the scent of pine and damp earth. Home. Not a second later, my dad was opening up the front door and bounding down the steps.

"Bells!" he said as he wrapped me in a tight hug.

"Hi daddy." I sure have missed him. I miss getting to see him everyday, and even if we didn't talk, just knowing that he was right there gave me that unsaid comfort a father offers a daughter.

"Glad you made it safe and sound kid. I've been worried the entire weekend." He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Worry wart. We were fine." I said, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Yea, yea. But what kind of father would I be if I didn't worry about ya?" He smiled. "The kids asleep?" He asked turning his head towards my Tahoe.

"Yep, and you can help me carry them in, but first, come meet Rosalie."

I introduced my father and Rosie, and he was taken with her immediately. Of course he would be. She's beautiful with her flowing blonde hair and green eyes, not looking one bit like she just had a baby five months ago. I wish I had her genes.

We each took turns carrying a sleeping, dead weight child into the house. The kids were going to share the guest room, and Rosie and I would share my old room. There was a queen-sized bed in the guest room that the girls shared; we made a palette on the floor for the boys and Zoe in her playpen. My old room now also had a queen bed, since my dad said that he'd like to have room for guests. Since he gets so much company these days. I think it was secretly his way of letting me know I could always come home, and being married now, my little twin bed wouldn't be big enough for Jacob and I to sleep in.

Sleep. That sounded perfect right now.

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The next day dawned to the scent of bacon and eggs, and the pitter-patter of feet across the wood floors of this old house. I stirred awake realizing that Rose was already out of bed. After making it to the bathroom, brushing my hair and teeth, I wandered downstairs to the sounds of giggles and chatter. In the kitchen Rosie was standing at the stove flipping bacon. My dad had Robbie and Ben each on a knee bouncing them around and the girls were all seated around the kitchen table chatting and laughing. Zoe was in her bouncy-saucer thing, just jumping around. I smiled at the site.

"Good morning sleepy-head." Rose chimed.

"Morning everyone." I said to the room as I made my way to the coffee pot.

Rose finished up cooking the bacon, and pulled a fresh batch of biscuits out of the oven. After a few sips of my coffee, I gathered up the dishes and silverware and set everyone a place in the dining room. I got the milk and orange juice and began filling the kids cups. Rose brought in the bounty of eggs, bacon, biscuits, gravy and hash browns. Seriously, she's a God sent. Dad brought in two wiggly boys and set them down in chairs on either side of him. I swear he wishes I had been a boy sometimes.

After we were all bursting at the seams at the delicious breakfast Rose made, the girls wandered out into the backyard to explore while Dad and the boys went to the living room for a round of wrestling on the floor.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Rose asked as we did the dishes.

"Nothing really. I should probably at least call my mom and Jacob's dad and let them know that we made it into town." I said with a roll of my eyes.

I don't spend quite that much time with Renee. She's a very selfish person, and it's just easier to keep her at arms length then deal with her on a regular, annoying basis. The kids adore her, as they should since she is their grandmother, but I can only tolerate her for a little while. I love her; I just don't like her that much.

"And we should probably plan on stocking Charlie's fridge with all these kids in the house." I laughed. "Tomorrow we can go to La Push if you want, and I can show you around the beach and reservation and then you can also meet Jacob's dad."

"Sounds good to me. Maybe Friday we can go to Seattle and see Emmett's parents." She suggested.

"I'd like that. It's been a long time since I've been to Seattle. We could make a weekend of it and take the kids to the Space Needle if you want."

"Sound great!" She said, as we finished the dishes and joined my dad and the boys in the living room.

We spent the next few days catching up with my dad, visiting Renee, grocery shopping. We also took Rose and the kids the reservation and introduced them to Billy, Jacob's dad. There's not much to do in Forks, and I was hesitant to make a trip to Port Angeles just yet. So, on Friday morning as we drove through on our way to Seattle, I all but held my breath till we hit the city limit sign. Something about even being in the same town as him clenched my stomach. God. How will I be when and if I see him? Would I be able to face the past without faltering? He left me broken. How would I face that? Face him?

September 1998

"I'm sorry I can't make it to Port A for your birthday this weekend, but I have to work. They won't let have the weekend off." Edward said over the phone, seemingly sincere.

"That sucks! Maybe Angie and I can drive down there and then at least I'd get to see you?" I asked hopeful.

We have been together for just over a year. Edward had been a little distant in the last few weeks and I couldn't quite figure it out. We never fought, we never argued. We had, what I thought, was the perfect relationship. I was over the moon for him, and I was certain he felt the same about me. He'd told me and showed me he loved me in so many ways and I believed him, holding onto that as I felt him distancing himself. He still lived, worked at a bar and went to school in Bremerton and I was still doing the same in Port Angeles. However, we spent just about every weekend together, either me going to him or him coming to me. But it was the weekend of my birthday and I hadn't seen him for two weeks because he'd had to work every weekend. I missed him and I wanted to spend my day with him.

He loves me.

"I don't see how it would be any fun for you. I'll be working, so it's not like I will be able to spend any time with you."

"Edward, it's ok. I just want to see you. Angie and I can keep ourselves busy hanging out at the bar and dancing, but it would make my day just to even be in the same town as you for my birthday."

"I just don't think it's a good idea Bella." He said rather sharply.

"Well, ok then." I replied back sarcastically.

"I really am sorry Bella. I'll see you next weekend though, okay?"

"Sure Edward." Trying to control the emotion in my voice.

"I have to get ready to go now. I love you Bella. Happy Birthday."

"I love you too Edward." Still maintaining my façade. "And Edward?"

"Yea?"

"I miss you." And my control faltered.

"Miss you too."

I spent my birthday curled up on my bed watching reruns and ignoring the world. Edward didn't call. What was going on with us? Why did I feel like he was slipping right through my fingers? What did I do wrong?

It was Monday after class; I was sitting at the campus coffee shop going over an essay I had written on my laptop when my phone rang. The ringtone let me know it was Edward.

"Hey baby." I answered happily. After all, I am always happy to talk to him.

"Hey Bella. Umm…we need to talk." His voice was distant and lacked any sense of emotion.

My heart leapt into my throat. Something was wrong and I knew it. I could feel it coming all weekend, but I just didn't let myself believe that it would actually happen. Could this be real? Maybe I was dreaming. I could hear him talking, but my brain wouldn't let me process it. The last thing I heard him say as the tears began to fall from my eyes…

"I do love you Bella, and I will always hold a place in my heart for you, but it's just not going to work. You deserve better."

Was he serious? Did he not understand that he was IT for me?

"Oh Edward." I sobbed in a whisper. Traitor emotions. I pushed my laptop across the table, closed my eyes, folded my arms and laid my head down. This is it. This is what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest.

"I'm so sorry Bella. But I think this is for the best."

"I don't even know what to say." I sobbed again. "I just wish you had a small understanding of how much I love you and want this to work out. I can't explain how much this hurts."

"I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I do love you …I just think we need to go our own ways." he started.

Silence. I don't know how long we said nothing just listening to each other breathing.

"Love isn't supposed to hurt like this." I sighed.

"God Bella. I'm sorry. I really am. I'm gonna go now, ok? I'll talk to you…later." His voice gave his pain away. Why was he doing this? I don't understand.

"I love you Edward. Please don't ever forget that." I sobbed again, this time letting him hear all the pain in my voice.

"Goodbye Bella." He softly whispered.

And just like that, he was gone from my life. I don't know how long I stayed like that in the coffee shop, but sometime later Angie and Jacob showed up and took me home, so I must have called them and told them.

I woke up that night screaming, tears streaming down my face realizing that the nightmare had come true.

Edward was gone.

Emmett's parents were very welcoming and his father reminded me a lot of him. Same stocky build, same deep blue eyes and same dark hair with just a bit of grey around the edges. He was just as boisterous as Emmett too.

We left the girls back in Forks with Renee at her insistence, so we only had the boys and Zoe. Emmett's parents all but pushed us out the door telling us to go have some "girl time" while they watched the kids.

Who were we to argue?

We headed into downtown for lunch. Stopping at Pike Place Chowder for a delicious bread bowl of their award winning chowder. I had the New England Clam and Rosie had the Smoked Salmon. Seriously, this stuff is to die for. I highly recommend it.

"So what's on your mind?" Rose asked. "You've been a little off today."

"Honestly, I am starting to second guess my decision to come home."

"That decision or the one where you see Edward?" She knows me so well.

"I'm just not sure it's such a good idea anymore. I mean, God, just the thought after all these years makes me feel like crawling out of my skin. In that 'so nervous I want to throw up' sort of way." I rambled.

"Ultimately it's your decision and you are the only one who knows exactly how comfortable you are with it. Personally, if it were me, I would see him. Just to get it over and done with. Then you can move on with your life." She paused and blew on a spoonful of chowder before putting it in her mouth. "Because then you will also know how he feels. Don't you have just the slightest curiosity about that? You've already told me that the phone call six months later still haunts you. Aren't you curious as to why he called?" She paused again and just looked at me as I took in everything she was saying. "It's all closure babe, one way or the other, it's closure on the past so you can move on with your future. Be it with or without Edward or Jacob."

"Have I told you lately that I love you Rosie?" I winked at her.

She smiled back. "Of course you do! I'm awesome!"

We laughed. I took a deep breath and decided that she was right. One way or another what I needed the most was closure; and that meant facing my fears and seeing Edward.

It was a beautiful day in Seattle, so after lunch we decided to walk down First Street and soak in the sights and sun. A few blocks down and we were outside of Milagros, a day spa. We looked at each other and smiled and walked right in. We opted for manicures, pedicures and facials. We were taking full advantage of our girl time.

A few hours later after we had been buffed and polished we left feeling completely refreshed and headed back towards Pike Place. Just as we were getting into the truck to head back to Emmett's parents' house, Rose's phone rang. It was Emmett.

She stood outside to talk to him, while I got in the truck and turned on the radio to give her some privacy. As if all the Gods were conspiring against me, the song on the radio had to be the single most heart wrenching one out at the moment. I leaned my head back on the headrest, closed my eyes and lost myself in the lyrics.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Yes Id rather hurt than feel nothing at all

Its a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I didn't even realize that Rose had finished her phone call, or that tears were sliding down my cheeks until the volume of the song was turned all the way down.

Shit.

"Hey. None of that." She said, "We're having a good day, and we're not going to let any memories ruin it. Deal?"

I wiped the tears away with the pads of my fingers. "Deal." I sniffed and smiled at her.

"So, you wanna hear some awesome news?" She asked excitedly and grinning ear to ear.

I nodded still smiling.

"Emmett's coming up here too!" She bounced in her seat.

"What? How? When?" I threw out.

"Well, they finished their assignment a week early, and they are already in Hawaii. He's taking leave for the next two weeks and found a MAC flight up to Whidbey tomorrow morning!"

"Oh Rose! That's awesome!" I smiled giving her a hug.

"Don't worry, I won't be ditching you. We'll just make him tag along with us and you two can get to know each other better. Plus he knows the areas just as well as you do. It'll be great!"

The next night, Rose picked up Emmett on Whidbey Island and brought him back to my dad's place in Forks. She was gone most of the day for that trip. He looked completely exhausted as they made their way inside later than evening and I heated them up some leftovers from the dinner we'd had a few hours earlier. All the kids were already in bed, so after he and Rose were fed, which I swore he'd never stop eating, we sat in the living room as he caught us up on his latest work "gossip."

Emmett was not his usual fun-loving self, and he began nodding off as we sat around talking, so I knew it was time to turn in. I grabbed some blankets and pillows from the hallway closet to make up the couch for him. Dad headed upstairs to bed first, leaving us alone.

"Thanks for letting me crash here with the fam Bella." Emmett yawned.

"It's no problem, really Emmett. You get some sleep and we'll catch up some more tomorrow." I suggested getting up to head to bed too.

"I'll be up in just a few Bells." Rose said, and as I turned to head up Emmett stopped me.

"Hey Bella, see if Charlie or your mom will keep the kids tomorrow night. I'm taking you ladies out to show you a good time!" He chuckled sleepily.

I smiled back at him and said, "Ok, Em." before turning and heading up to bed.

"Goodnight you two."

The next day was spent letting Emmett recover from his jet lag. Renee was thrilled at the idea of keeping the kids overnight and even offered to let Sam, Ben and Zoe stay with her too. We weren't going to argue. If she wanted them all, all of them she would get. I'm pretty sure I had an evil laugh going on inside my head.

Against my better judgment, I let Emmett and Rose talk me into going out in Port Angeles. Emmett had some old college buddies that he wanted to catch up with that lived there. They were planning on meeting at a sports bar one of them owned. He didn't understand my hesitation, and instead of making a big deal out of it, I agreed.

What are the odds we'll run into Edward on a Sunday night anyway?

Rose and I began getting ready and I let her doll me up just a bit. Probably because I was so hesitant on going in the first place, I wasn't feeling all that into getting ready. So I let her take over.

She sprayed and curled my hair, pulling it up into a low side pony that looked damn hot actually. I wore black skinny jeans with a silk purple and black halter-top and 'deadly' patent leather 'fuck-me' heels Rose called them. I looked good, but damn the shoes scared me!

Rose wore a blue floral canopy top with torn skinny jeans and blue suede, and dangerous looking heals. She curled her hair and let it flow naturally down her back.

Emmett wore a pair of black washed jeans and a loud grey and black silk skull button down. He looked nice, but he was seriously the only man I could ever see pulling that shirt off. It definitely went with his personality.

I kissed Charlie goodbye and he slipped a hundred dollar bill into my hand making me promise to call a cab if we drank too much. Always the protective father.

An hour later we were making our way into the city limits of Port Angeles. This time I allowed myself to look around at the sites of my old 'stomping ground'. There were a lot of things that had changed about this place over the last ten years, but so much was still the same. It was still a sleepy little town. We pulled up out front of Steele's Bar and made our way inside.

As we made our way to the bar, everything happened in slow motion. Leaning up against the bar on his right arm with his back to us, was a somewhat familiar built man talking to a few other men. He was wearing dark washed blue jeans and a white button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up his arms. His cropped bronze hair was almost a dead give away.

Oh. Please. No.

"Edward!" Emmett boomed walking quickly towards him and smiling. I gasped and froze as it all became very clear to me. Emmett…oh my God….of course! Freshman year…they were roommates…I'd never met him because they only saw each other every so often.

Holy. Shit.

Edward turned when he heard his named called and he greeted Emmett in one of those one-armed, manly hugs and patted backs. Rose was standing next to me just as frozen. She snapped out of it first and we quickly turned our backs to them.

"Bella," she whispered, "I swear, I had no idea. Emmett never said the names of the guys, just said college buddies. I swear, I didn't…"

"Rosie! Come meet the guys!" Emmett boomed again.

We both turned back towards the bar and at that moment I locked gazes with those beautiful blues eyes that had haunted me for the last ten years.

Chapter End Notes:

Yay! Edward in the flesh! So...did you see it coming? Some of you had to have seen it! Right? )