"So, what about 'Momma'?"

After a few minutes of companionable silence, Becker couldn't help but blurt it out. Jess sighed.

"After what we'd been through, I couldn't let him out of my sight. Not at all. I was feeling somewhat responsible for him, wanted to protect him the best I could, do everything for him. And protecting him for me meant getting him out of the system. I was visiting him at the foster care center as often as I could. Do you imagine what it is like for a traumatized child, without any means of communication with the others none the less, to be in one of those centers? It was hell. Unfortunately, the only way for him to get out of this was to be adopted. I didn't trust anyone to do so and to take care of him like I wanted to. So I applied.

"I know, you'll say it's completely foolish" she continued seeing Becker's perplexed face. "I was still a student, with a job, not the legal age or anything, and in retrospect, I admit I should have thought longer about this. But the facts were there: he needed protecting and I wanted to protect him. Hell, I took a bullet for him! That should mean something, shouldn't it? Fortunately for me, a lot of the appliance procedure was computerized, I only had to hack into the system to get rights, change my birthdate so that I could be considered legal to adopt him and so on. I really did it. And I wasn't thinking clearly. It was an emergency for me to get him out of harm's way. Top priority. I was seeing things in a tunnel. I did not see the consequences. Just the prospect of taking care of him. With the time he spent with me, he took to call me 'Momma', a slightly altered version of what he was calling his real mother. It gave me wings and narrowed my vision even more. The aides at the center began to really think I was his mother, which helped me. I was so focused that I overlooked the human aspect of the procedure altogether. Social services. They understood the deception right away, I mean, I applied as 'not kin', which was probably the biggest mistake I had done for the whole thing, and I obviously was not twenty-one.

"But then they did something I did not expect. Instead of, you know, scolding me, or sentencing me to whatever, as I not only lied on the papers but also hacked into the system, they just took me aside, and talked. Well, she talked.

"Turns out they knew about my little fraud even before coming to check. They were aware of the link between Kaelig and me, and what happened after the shooting. Particularly the fact that I indeed went into P.T., but kinda avoided counseling."

Sensing they were slowing down, Kael tired of walking and not exactly well rested with what happened the day before, she made a motion to scoop him up but he surprised her when he turned to Becker with his head cocked to the side, as if asking permission. With a smile not far from the playful 'eh, he wants ME to carry him, not you', Becker obliged, and they resumed their journey, the boy now secure on his hip.

"I must say, you avoiding counseling would have been a shock for me a few days ago, but right now, I can easily see you doing that, Superwoman" he chuckled.

"Hilarious" she answered with a tone that noted the contrary. "I didn't need people poking around my brain to allow me to live freely. I just had an idea: Kael, me, alone, our life without anyone around. I know it sounds irrational but that's what I really wanted at the time."

"You had seen people meddling to make things worse. It doesn't sound irrational to me."

Jess smiled gratefully.

"Well, to anyone else it looked irrational. So, this woman, she just took me aside and talked. She talked about the incident at the motel, about the arrest and the hospital, about the fact she knew something had happened before the whole ordeal, something that no one knew because my overprotective behavior towards someone else and not myself was leading people away from the fact that I had been abused myself. She knew that would make me react, and it did. I denied, trying to draw back the attention to Kael's case, but she was having none of it. The argument escalated on and on until I was the only one shouting and she was there, smiling knowingly. So stupid. I totally fell into the trap, and she had what she wanted. Me talking. It took what, half-an-hour? I had resisted to everyone before, and it just took half-an-hour for her to crack me up. Unbelievable."

Becker refrained from laughing at her face, the one of a sore loser. Jess elbowed him gently in the ribs.

"Anyway. She got me talking and I got everything off my chest. Between the deafness, meeting him, his mother's death, his father, what he did, what I tried to do, what I was still trying to do…everything. I never felt so vulnerable. And I've never felt vulnerable again until last night" she averted her eyes, sensing she had somehow given herself away. Becker thought better than to comment.

"So I basically confirmed everything she knew or suspected. Once I finished, she assured me first that I would not be sued for what I did. That even the government could be interested in those skills, but that would come later. Then she tried to logically make me understand the probability of me taking properly care of Kael, money-wise, against the probability of a couple with good situations had. The way I still had to go to be able to look after him properly, and above all, what loss he could have being away from everyone, as in a golden castle, if I did what I wanted to do. Clever woman. Instead of telling me that, she made me realize it by myself. And it worked.

"She gave me rights to see him at the center legally, while keeping me up-to-date with his situation. She was not supposed to, but it was like she knew I would try to know otherwise without taking the legal ways.

"So I was sharing my time between the job, the studies and him. We were closer than ever. People at the center were now surprised to hear him still calling me 'Momma' now that they knew I wasn't. But we didn't care. I played with him, talked with him, reassured him. I also tried to make him go toward other people, children his age. He didn't understand at first, he wanted to stay with me, to be protected like I had overdone it before. But as difficult it was for me to let him go, I remembered the social worker's words about shutting him out from the world, and knew he needed to see other people to heal."

She took a deep breath, causing Becker to look at her concerned.

"Then came the moment I dreaded: a couple was interested into adopting Kael. I said nothing, but he understood, you know, like, felt I was upset even though I didn't want to show it. The parents went to see him, he made a scene. The social worker called me to calm him down. The parents knew what he'd been through, and knew I was somehow involved without knowing the specifics. They understood completely that he was afraid of them and that I had been called in reinforcements. Very understanding people. I took Kael aside, and we talked. New people, new 'parents' – he was not over his mother, that was understandable – new relationship with me, separation… We talked for what, two hours? That was a lot of change to take in. He didn't want anything to change – me either – and he didn't want to be in the same situation. I persuaded him into giving these people a chance, as I would be by his side for the whole thing. Back with the soon-to-be parents and the social worker, I practically interrogated them. Now that I think about it, it was pretty out-of-line, me a teenager interrogating them as if they were suspects… But they complied! They did! They understood I needed to be sure, and they complied. They wanted all the best for Kael, and they considered that making me at ease with them was one of the steps.

"Turns out that they were – they are – good people. Very good people. Once the adoption sealed, they took the both of us to see where Kael would live now. Between the house, his room, the school, the daycare center (they were aware he needed to see more children his age), we saw everything. They knew if they put me at ease, it would put Kael at ease too, sort of by proxy. They let me sleep in their house for a week, to facilitate the transition. When he was having nightmares, almost every night, he was coming to see me. I could accompany him to school and all, while still keeping my schedule. At the end of the week, we talked some more. While the couple wanted me to stay as long as Kael needed me, I knew if I didn't go on my own, I could be staying there forever, and it wouldn't help.

"So I just went, sure now that he was in good hands, promising him that I would be at a call away."

Becker seemed to absorb everything, well aware of the private nature of her confessions, afraid to say anything that could make her regret her decision to share. He was already happy to be deemed worthy of knowing what was the exact nature of the link between the both of them, worthy of being entrusted with such a piece of their history. Well, their whole history actually.

"What does his moth-"

"Guys? You here?"

They both snapped their heads upwards, Kael following with a delay. Matt's outline could be made out through the manhole, the sun high behind him.

"Guys?"

"We're here" Becker yelled back.

"Well hurry now, wouldn't want to miss lunch, would you now?" the Irishman joked.

Setting Kael back on the floor, he motioned for Jess to take the lead on the ladder.

"With Kael between us, if he slips I stop his fall, and you'll be the one welcoming him up here. I trust Matt, but he doesn't."

Sensing the logic, she nodded and began the climb. Soon after, Becker set the child on the ladder, and brought up the rear.

After a few minutes, Jess was welcome by a familiar Irish accent.

"God, Jess, next time both of you want a field trip, care to warn us beforehand?"

Jess let out a laugh when he helped her to the surface. Blinking against the harsh light of the sun, she failed to see when he made a move to help the next in line. At Becker's warning for Matt to wait, she turned back to the manhole to pick up a scared Kael. Matt said nothing, but his raised eyebrow could convey his curiosity.

Finally, the four of them were standing on the surface, Matt replacing the cover over the manhole.

"Car's this way" he cocked his head toward the entrance of the alley.

He lead the way, but not before eying the unusual trio behind him.