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Song for this chapter: Fall - Clay Walker (he owns not me.) If you've never listened to it...I recommend it...it's beautiful!

"It's always been yours Bella. I just wasn't smart enough to listen to it."

I played it over and over in my head. Confusion muddled my thoughts. "Edward?"

"Bella…I really hope you can forgive me…because I honestly don't know how to live without you." His eyes were full of pain and love. He moved his hand up my neck and cupped the side of my jaw. He caressed my cheek with his thumb, continuing to hold my gaze and the blue in his eyes liquefied. "I swear I will never fail you again." Oh Edward.

"Edward…" I whispered. "I…I…" I faltered as tears filled my eyes and a massive lump formed painfully in my throat. The look in his eyes was so intense it simply took my breath away. He pulled my head forward and I crashed my lips to his. This kiss was nothing like the one shared on the balcony, it was much more primal and needy. My hands flew to his hair as I weaved my finger through it and pulled slightly. He sighed and when his mouth opened I pressed my tongue in to meet his and they danced back and forth between our mouths.

I was suddenly taken back to the living room of the apartment I shared with Angela in college. Memories of nights like this with Edward flooded my mind and tears rolled down my cheeks, as the kiss grew sweeter. He broke the kiss and pulled back when he felt the wetness fall from my eyes onto his fingertips.

"Bella?" he questioned, pain and confusion clouding his eyes.

My breath staggered as I tried to reign in my emotions, I dropped my eyes to my fisted my hands in my lap. One of his beautiful hands still cupped my face and he brought the other up to my other cheek and pulled my face up forcing me to look into his eyes.

"I'm sorry. That was too soon." He said flatly. His eyes searched mine and his brow furrowed as he very seriously said, "I just couldn't let this night end without you knowing how I feel."

I whimpered at his soft words. I searched his eyes for any sign of hesitation or lack of sincerity. He'd said the words I had longed to hear, yet again. The emotion in his face was evident as he brushed his knuckles across my cheek and pushed a lock of my hair gently behind my ear.

"Please say something." He spoke softly.

I turned my body more towards him as I gripped his wrists and pulled his hands down from my face. I intertwined our fingers in between us on the couch and met his gaze.

"Edward…I have dreamt of the day that you would hold me…kiss me…tell me you loved me. I never knew that this day would ever really come." I sniffed and paused as the tears continued to fall from my eyes of their own accord. "You are all I have ever wanted and will ever want. You know that right?"

He froze and I suddenly realized that he was sensing I might reject him. Silly Edward.

I released his hands and grabbed his face, "All I will ever, ever want…is you." I said forcefully as I poured my soul into my eyes and words. "It's always been you. It will always be you." I smiled softly and saw his eyes flicker with understanding. I softly pressed my lips to his, sealing my words to him. I pulled back and looked into his eyes again.

"There is a 'but'…it's not a bad one." He nodded cautiously. "I just need a little more time. I'm finally learning how to be me again. During these past few months, I've learned how to be on my own again for the first time in ten years and it's…refreshing. It's challenging of course, because there are three kids in the mix, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders not having to babysit a relationship." I paused hoping to make sure that he understood that this was all about me. "I don't want to tarnish anything about you and me by jumping right into something again. Not without giving me some time to be me again. I want to be who I am completely with you, not this manifested version of me that I have become. Does that make sense?"

He nodded. "You own me. Do you realize that?" he asked with a sheepish smile.

I snickered softly. "That's a good way of putting it I suppose. You've always owned me."

Ever so slowly he placed his hand over my heart and it began beating erratically. I watched his face as he watched his palm caress the skin on my chest. Flames erupted across my skin at his touch and sent a heat all over my body. He met my eyes with a heated stare and at that moment I felt something inside of me shift.

"It's yours." I whispered softly.

He removed his hand and leaned forward, pressing his lips on the skin right above my beating heart and I wrapped my fingers up in his crazy bronze locks. He kissed a trail up across my collarbone to the hollow juncture of my neck and shoulder and my eyes closed. My head slowly fell to the side allowing him more access as he continued up to just below my ear. As he let out a heated breath, he said it again. "I love you Bella."

"Edward." I whispered as my body ignited in a craving for him.

He kissed down my jawline and I breathed in his luscious scent until his lips met mine again. His hands were sliding up my thighs, up over the bottom of my dress and up to my hips. One hand went around the small of my back and one slowly climbed up my ribs as the kiss intensified. I was losing all sense of reason very quickly. Too soon! Too soon!

I broke the kiss, my head falling back against the couch as his lips went once again to my neck.

"Wait." I whispered softly sliding my hands down to the back of his neck and he slowly looked up at me, both of us breathless. "If we don't stop right now, I may not be able to stop myself at all."

He smiled his fuck-hot crooked smirk, "Is that such a bad thing?"

I flushed and smirked back. "When it comes to you, no…but…"

"Bella," he interrupted. "I was just enjoying the moment of finally being able to love you again. I don't want to make love to you…until I know you can be mine completely."

God is this man for real?

"Edward, did you not hear anything I said? I am yours…completely."

"We still have one thing standing in our way though." He paused and I looked at him slightly confused. "Your divorce."

Duh Bella.

"Right." I flushed again and looked over the back of the couch towards the magnificent sunset lit sky.

He grabbed my chin with his thumb and index finger and turned my head to meet his eyes. With a mischievous look he said, "However, the moment…hell, the very second it's official…you better hold on tight. I plan to make you scream my name until you have no voice left my love."

Oh. My. God.

He stood and pulled me up from the couch. He picked up the remote from a side table and pointed it at the stereo, clicked it a few times, selecting a song and turned up the volume. The soft strains of Fall by Clay Walker filled the entire condo, and I suddenly noticed the internal speakers throughout the ceiling. He pulled me out onto the patio just as the sun was dipping below the horizon. He had a perfect unobstructed view of it. Stunning.

"Dance with me." He smiled as he pulled me close.

I wrapped myself up in his arms as he slowly spun us around to the tune. He pressed his cheek to the side of my head and sang to me as the second verse began.

"Forget about the world tonight, all that's wrong and all that's right, lay your head on my shoulder, and let it fade away. And if you wanna let go, baby, it's ok…"

I lifted my head and looked deep into his eyes. "I love you, Edward."

I rolled over and fluttered my eyes open to read the digital screen of the alarm clock. Seven-thirty. My damn internal clock was still set to wake up for the kids, and they weren't even here. I groaned and pulled the covers up over my head. Too early.

My mind drifted back to the night before and a smile spread across my face. He loves me. He wants to be with me. I reached my hand up and clasped my necklace in my fist unable to control the excitement that was bubbling to the surface. I felt the bed stir beside me, and peeked my head out from under the covers. Alice was smiling sleepily at me.

"Morning smiley." She chimed, her voice heavy and raspy with sleep.

I smiled at her. "Morning pixie. Sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. How about you? You got in awfully late last night." She teased.

I couldn't fight the smile that sat permanently plastered across my face.

"I take it from that look, you had a great night." She winked.

"It was the most perfect night ever, actually. He was so incredibly romantic. He cooked dinner for us, we talked, we laughed, we kissed…a lot…" I giggled. "We danced to a beautiful song on his balcony at sunset…" I sighed, still smiling.

"There you go…swooning again." She laughed as she rolled to her back and stretched.

"I can't help myself. I never, ever thought that I'd ever see this day again. Ever Ali!"

"I'm so happy for you. I really am. I only hope one day I am as lucky." She sighed.

We hadn't spoken much about James since she arrived other than her contacting the arresting officer to find out the status of his bail. He was release on Christmas Eve but we hadn't heard any word from him. He had to have gone home and seen that she packed up most, if not all of her clothes. I'm sure he was on the hunt to find her. I was really surprised that he hadn't called me yet.

"Alice, I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that your 'Edward' is out there waiting for you. You are a catch. Any man should be so lucky to have you by his side. James is just an idiot."

She snickered. "You think he'll come looking for me? That kind of scares me ya know."

"I'm sure he was probably ordered to stay away from you. So if he does for some reason end up here looking for you, it won't take much to have him arrested." I took a deep breath and asked what I had been wanting to for a few days now. "What are you going to do Al? I know how hard this question is to answer, but are you going to file for divorce?"

She took a deep breath and pushed herself up into a sitting position. Crossing her arms across her stomach she leaned back against the headboard.

"I've been giving it a lot of thought actually. Especially after spending time with Rose and Emmett and seeing you the way that you are about Edward, I can honestly say, I don't think that James and I ever had that same connection." She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. I rolled over onto my side and propped up on my elbow. "We've been together so long, I think it just became routine. Honestly, we'd become nothing much more than roommates."

"I can understand that." I said reassuringly.

"When I think about it now, I'm sure that he was very emotionally abusive. He consistently made me feel worthless. If it wasn't about him, or didn't directly revolve around him, it wasn't important." That alone made my blood boil. Anyone that has ever had the privilege of knowing Alice knows how bright and intriguing she is. She's honest to a fault and loyal to the core. If there was no one left in this world for me to turn to, I know I'd sill have Alice.

"He's a selfish, short-sited ass Al. You deserve so much better."

"It's scary though…"

"You think I'm not aware of that? You have a job to help support you and I haven't worked in almost nine years. And thank God, but you don't have children to worry about how to take care of either." She frowned and I felt instantly like a jerk. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But be honest with yourself…isn't it more scary to think of staying with him, knowing what he's now capable of?"

She remained silent, which is very unlike her, so I knew this was weighing heavy on her mind.

"I'm only afraid that if you decide to forgive him and go back, even if he swears up and down that he'll never do it again…how can you be sure? And then what happens if it does happen again, and it's so much worse? What if he hurts you so bad that…that you have to go to the hospital? Or…God Alice…what if it's worse?" I could barely get the words out as I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought. The mere thought of him hurting her bad enough to take her out of my life completely slammed through my chest like a wrecking ball.

She sighed heavily and turned to look at me. I was choking back tears, holding them off at the brink, but when her sad, broken eyes of sapphire met mine, I lost my control. Giant drops slid down her cheeks and she giggled.

"I'm so stupid Bells!" she exclaimed wiping her face with her fingertips. "What halfway rational woman would even partially consider staying with a man like that?"

"No, you're not stupid. It's not an easy situation to deal with, and I am sure your emotions are all over the place." She nodded and looked back at the ceiling. "Do you want me to set you up an appointment with my counselor? Maybe talking to a professional will help you? God knows she helps me!" I laughed.

"I think I would like to talk to her actually. I'm sure I need some kind of professional help at this point."

We were both silent for a few beats before she turned over on her side and pulled the covers up to her chin.

"Bella…can I also get an appointment with your lawyer? I'm gonna need one of those too." She smiled shyly.

I exhaled a sigh of relief. "So, does this mean that you're gonna stay here in San Diego too?" I joked poking her in the shoulder.

"Yep! I'm movin' in with your ass! I like snuggling with you." She teased as we fell into a fit of giggles.

A few hours later after we'd showered and eaten breakfast, I let Alice talk me into going to the mall to hit some "Day after Christmas Sales". I think I went temporarily insane when I agreed to that. The mall the day after Christmas is without a doubt insane! I talked Rose into going with us as well, for my moral support.

Parking was a nightmare, but we were finally able to find a spot. As we made our way through the crowds, I was reminded of the last time I was here and smiled. Alice turned a corner and ducked down an employee corridor, grabbing my arm and pulling me with her.

"What the…? What's wrong Alice?" Rose questioned startled by the sudden change in her demeanor.

"We're being followed. I can feel it." She half whispered, her eyes wide with fear.

"What are you talking about? Are you sure?" Rose asked, obviously not believing her. Feeling panic rise in my chest, I tried to remain calm as I gave Rosie a knowing look. Alice had always had this sort of 'sixth-sense' and you never bet against her when she had a 'vision' or 'feeling' about something. You just went with it.

I peeked my head out of the hallway, scanning the crowd for anyone who might be suspicious. "Do you have an idea who it might be?" I asked her slowly.

She just shook her head, her eyes still wide with fear. "Do you want to leave?" I asked her, placing my hands on her arms and rubbing up and down trying to calm her. Her eyes met mine and I could see the fear wavering. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and said, "No way! We're here to shop and damn it, that's what we're going to do!"

I chuckled and we linked our arms together as we made our way back into the crowd of shoppers. Her level of stress seemed to lessen some as we found sale after sale and she relished in some retail therapy. We had hit about five different stores before she got her feeling again and we headed to the food court. We grabbed a table near the restroom exit, just for her comfort. She could quickly hide in there if she felt necessary. I quickly bought us each a soda and joined them at the table.

"I have a very strong feeling Bella. I think its James. I think he's here."

I gasped. "Are you sure?"

"Fuckin' A." Rose said at the same time.

She quirked an eyebrow at me as if to ask, "You doubt my mad skills?" I sighed. This cannot be good. "Should I call Edward?"

"Not yet. Let's just keep shopping. If he thinks I'm scared, he wins, and I refuse to let him win." She's such a little force to be reckoned with.

"Ok, but I am at least going to text Edward and Rose should let Emmett know too, what's going on. Okay? James won't mess with us if they're around."

After another hour of shopping and a panicked phone call from Edward, we decided that we'd had enough of shopping. It wasn't relaxing any one of us the way that it should. Ok, it wasn't relaxing Alice as it normally would…I still hated every minute of it regardless. Rosie seemed indifferent either way.

Edward insisted on meeting us at my house, so as we turned onto my street, I spotted his car parked along the curb in front. As I turned into the driveway he stepped out of his car and my stomach fluttered at the sight of him. He met me at the back of my truck as I opened the hatch to remove our shopping bags and smothered me in a massive bear hug that lifted my feet off the ground. I was completely caught off guard but squealed at the embrace and buried my face in his shoulder as I returned the hug. He made me feel completely safe in that moment.

After he set me back on my feet, he grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine. "I was so worried about you, I broke every traffic law getting here." I just smiled.

"We're were fine. Just more worried than anything. But I feel much better with you here." I placed a peck on his lips and grabbed my share of the bags. Alice and Rose then came around and grabbed their bags, and Emmett was making his way across the lawn with Zoe on his hip. He grabbed Rose in a one armed embrace and kissed the top of her head. I turned to Alice.

"I think it's time you told the guys what's going on, what do you say?" I implored and she nodded in agreement.

As I approached the door, I froze. Edward brushed past me and bent to pick up the vase of flowers. I felt Alice come up beside me and she froze as well. Edward plucked the card from the arrangement and opened the envelope.

"They're for Alice…from James, I assume, there's no signature." He said dryly as he handed the card to her. She dropped her bags at her feet and gently took it from his hand. Without even reading it, she ripped it into shreds and crumpled the shreds into her tiny fist. She then bent down and grabbing the vase abruptly she spun around and disappeared around the front of the house. The next sound we heard was glass shattering and the slamming of the lid on my trashcan. She came back into view dusting her hands and smiling her chin held high. I tried to stifle a laugh as I turned and unlocked the front door leading us all in.

Rose and I made lunch while Alice filled Emmett and Edward in on the details leading to her sudden appearance here two days before Christmas. Both of them looked as if they were trying desperately hard to control their anger. She was just a tiny little thing, and the thought of someone hurting her was a pretty hard pill to swallow. My biggest concern was that now he was here, he knew she was with me and he knew where I lived. It was a little comforting that my house has an intrusion alarm, but the fact remains we're two women alone in a house and he knows this. One other plus, I own a gun, and I know how to use it if I have to. He will not hurt her ever again.

Rose and Emmett headed home after a few hours to feed their kids dinner; Alice headed to the bathroom to soak in the tub and "wash away the stress" she'd said. Edward and I sat on the couch just enjoying each other's company. He sat back and I leaned my back into him and snuggled under his arm. This was the closest we'd been since he greeted me earlier in the day. I relished it.

"I missed you today." He said into the top of my head placing a kiss there as well.

"Silly, you've been here most of the day." I said as I hugged the arm he had around me tighter.

"Yes, but I haven't been able to hold you like this. So I missed you."

"In that case, I missed you too." I turned my head up and met his soft, luscious lips with mine.

"Are you excited? Kaylie comes tomorrow?" I asked as I turned back around and snuggled into him again.

"I really am. Santa left way too many presents at my place for her." He chuckled.

"How long until I get to see her? I get the kids back next Saturday, and I know they'd love to all be together again."

He wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me across his lap. "You can see her just as soon as you want to. Do you want to come with me to the airport to get her?"

As much as I wanted to, I had a feeling that it might be a better idea for him to pick her up alone. I know how much I loved it just being my dad, and me so I'd allow them that time too and join them later.

"No, its ok. This will all be new to her; so let her enjoy just being with you first. I can come over Sunday after she's had some time to enjoy you and have Christmas with you."

He pulled me tighter again, and kissed the top of my head. "I love you woman."

After Edward had reluctantly left to go home, and I set the house alarm, Alice and I enjoyed a glass of wine at the bar in the kitchen. We were going over the day's events when my cell phone rang. It was the kids calling to tell me they were going to bed and say goodnight.

I spoke to Robbie first and he told me all about his new train track Santa brought him. My heart was breaking upon hearing his happy little voice. I missed my little man. Lynette was next, and she was just as excited about a new electronic game of some sort she received. The kids seemed like they were doing great and it made me breathe a little easier. However, when Madysen came on the phone, I could tell that something was bothering her.

"Hey baby girl. What did Santa bring you to Daddy's?"

"I got an American Girl doll that looks just like me momma! And I got a bathing suit for her too with goggles, so she can come with me to swim practice."

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "That's awesome! I can't wait to see her! I bet she's beautiful! Are you having a good time?"

She paused and I heard her exhale. I can read her like a book even if she's not in front of me. "What's the matter baby?"

"Nothin." She said softly.

"Now that's not true. Are you ok?"

"Daddy said that he hated the holidays."

I felt my blood pressure rise. If there was anything I was adamant about, it was making sure not to put them in the middle of this. They are young and innocent and need to be reassured not made to feel any sort of guilt or shame. Dammit Jacob! You selfish ass.

"Oh sweetie. I bet he didn't mean it. Did you ask him why he said that?"

"Yes ma'am, he said, just because."

"Well, you just remember that Christmas is a wonderful time of year ok? Why is it so wonderful?"

"Because it's celebrating Jesus." She said sweetly, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"That's right. So you just think about how lucky we are to have His love and daddy will remember too ok?"

"Okay momma."

"I love you beautiful girl. Sleep tight and sweet dreams."

"Love you too mommy. Sweet dreams. Here's daddy."

I heard her shuffling the phone and Jacob say something as she handed him the phone.

"Hello?" he said dryly.

"Mind if I ask what the hell your problem is Jake? Why would you tell Madysen that you hate the holidays? What's wrong with you?"

"I don't hate the holidays. I'm just having a hard time this year." Oh great…enter Jacob the martyr.

I sighed. "Jake, I understand that this year is difficult. It hasn't exactly been easy for me, but it's not about us. It's about them. Can't you for once put them first?"

"I do put them first! Don't lecture me! But you have no idea how hard it is to want more than anything to be spending the holiday with the one person that I love the most in the world and that person wants nothing to do with me." His voice was rising in frustration.

"Look, I don't want to argue with you. But you can't say stuff like that to them. It's not right Jake. You can't put them in the middle like that, I won't allow it."

"Are you threatening me?"

I huffed. "God Jake. No. I just want you to think about what you say to them before you say it. You're an adult and a parent, fucking act like it! Do something for their sake for a change! You don't have to be selfish all the damn time ya know?"

"Are you done now? I need to go put my children to bed." He huffed. It didn't escape me that he emphasized his kids.

Fucking prick.

"I don't understand why you have to make everything so difficult. It doesn't have to be like this you know? This could be a whole hell of a lot easier if you would just stop feeling sorry for yourself and making everything about you."

"What the fuck ever Bella. Bye." And he hung up on me.

"Ughhhhhh! Jerk!" I yelled at the phone. Asshole.

It makes no logical sense to me why that man has such a hard time just chilling the fuck out for the sake of the kids. Yes, I am not blind to the fact that this hard for him, it's hard for me too, but I am not sulking around and pushing the brunt of it off on the kids. Oh, that's right, he's never had to be a full time parent. He's always had the "luxury" of taking a break from that reality, so he doesn't know how to make them the center of his world. He's too fucking stuck on keeping himself as the center of his world. He's a fucking child! Thirty-two and still growing up!

The man infuriates me beyond belief!

Chapter End Notes:

Thank you SO SO much for reading!