Situations Chapter 16

Thanks for the reviews!

So, this chapter has a lot of feelings in it. Just a warning.

Summary: Eli and Clare are far from friends; they hate each other. But when hormones are added to that, could the anger and frustration towards each other become pleasure? Will it stay casual or will it lead to something more?

Inspiration- Situations by Escape the Fate :)

"Well a certain girl, she took her hand and put it in my lap"

Clare's POV

"Earth to Clare," Alli said, waving a hand in my face.

We were currently in our room, going through what we just bought from the mall, but all I could think about was Eli and that bitch he had his arm around. I wasn't even paying attention when Alli was showing me here outfits that she just bought. I have been lying down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Did he think that I wouldn't have found out? Was this all a game for him? Did he even like me? Was he using me?

All of these questions ran through my head, and I wish I knew the answers.

"Huh?" I snapped back into reality, looking over at Alli who was holding up a short, sleeveless dress.

"Are you okay? You've been out of it ever since we got back from the mall." Alli said, putting down the dress and sitting on the edge of my bed.

I took a deep breath as I contemplated on telling her everything. I hated keeping this from her but I knew that once Alli knew, she would kill me. I decided that I'll just keep it to myself.

"Yeah, I just need some fresh air." I replied, getting up and grabbing my sweater.

"Okay, I hope you're okay." Alli replied.

I nodded and gave her a small smile before I turned and walked out the door, closing it behind me. I put on my sweater and headed out the door.

I ended up sitting on the bench that was sitting in the middle of nowhere, in front of our school. The bench was surrounded by grass and trees, but it was still pretty lonesome. It was the only bench there; the rest were closer to the school and they were newer, compared to the one I was sitting on.

I sighed as I stared at the grass, wondering how I got myself into this. Why did I have to feel something for the one person I'm supposed to hate? Why did we have to start this "casual" thing?

I snapped my head up when I heard people laughing and talking. My gaze averted to KC, Owen, Riley, Zane, Bianca, Eli and the chick Eli had his arm around. I rolled my eyes but watched them anyways.

They all looked like they were heading inside, except Eli. He shook his head when KC asked him something and pointed inside. The girl who Eli had his arm around walked up to him all flirty like, but he only gave a smirk and told her something. She pouted and he shook his head, which only made her mad. She stormed off and the guys looked at Eli like he was crazy.

What was going on?

The guys and Bianca then walked inside and left Eli standing there; although it looked like he didn't mind.

He began walking towards me, but a few feet to the side, not noticing I was there. I started panicking and quickly lay down on the bench, hoping he wouldn't see me. I waited a few minutes before I poked my head up, checking to see if he was there. Thankfully, he was nowhere in sight.

"Nice hiding place." I heard from behind me, making me jump and fall off the bench.

I looked up to see Eli standing above me, looking at me with a smirk. I scoffed and got up, marching away from him.

"Clare, wait." I heard him say, but I kept walking.

I felt him pull on my arm but I yanked my arm away from his grasp.

"Please, just hear me out?" he asked, only for me to ignore him as I picked up my pace. I could hear him walking faster, trying to catch up to me.

"Clare!" he yelled, grabbing my arm and turning me to face him. "Can I explain?"

"No" I answered, pulling away from him.

I tried walking away but he grabbed my arm and tackled me to the ground. I squealed and tried to get away from him, but he gripped my wrists and pinned them at eye level as he straddled my waist. I stared at him confused at first, wondering how we ended up like this, but I soon felt angry as I remembered him with that chick.

"Please, hear me out." He breathed.

I tried to get out of his hold again, but he only held on tighter, his grip starting to hurt. I gave up and stared at him, wondering what kind of shit he's going to tell me.

"It's not what you think." He began.

I let out a forced laugh that had no humor behind it.

"That's what they all say." I spat, glaring at him.

"Listen to me. It's not what it looks like. The guys brought her along, trying to get us together; I only played along because if I refused, they would have suspected something." He explained, but I still didn't believe him.

"Yeah right. You're seriously going to lie to me? I'd rather you tell me the truth then lie to my face." I said.

"I'm not lying." He defended. "I wouldn't do that, Clare."

I scoffed, "Yeah, sure you wouldn't. I bet that it was you who cheated on Julia, not the other way around." I spat.

Eli's face expression changed; his eyes widened a little and his lips parted as he stared at me in disbelief. He looked into my eyes, going from one to the other. His grip loosened on my wrists and he closed his mouth, clenching his jaw. His eyes suddenly changed and held a tint of anger in them. Their normal electric green was now changed to a dark, almost black, green.

"You can call me a lot of things, and you have, but you cannot call me a liar." He said, his voice coming out sharp.

"Fine, you're just a jerk." I spat. "I bet your just using me for your own personal pleasure, right? You don't like me; you just like using me for pleasure." I sneered.

"That's not it at all, Clare. I do really like you."

I scoffed and tried to get free from his grip.

"Would you just listen to me for one second?" he asked, getting angrier.

I debated on actually listening to him, but if I did, and he was lying, I wouldn't know what to do. I didn't want to be that naive girl that forgives too easily, only to get hurt again.

"No, now get off of me." I sneered.

I got free from his grip and pushed him off of me. I got up and brushed myself off before beginning to walk away. Away from Eli. I couldn't sit there and listen to his lies, if I did, I would be the stupid, naïve girl I was in high school.

"Is this how you deal with your problems?" I heard Eli say from behind me, "You just walk away from them?"

I ignored him and kept walking, no matter how badly I wanted to turn back.

"Maybe I should have cheated on you," he yelled, causing my feet to stop. "Probably wouldn't have mattered since it's happened twice before." He sneered.

I spun around on my heels and marched over to him before my hand came up and came in contact with his left cheek, hard. All that was heard was a loud smack as his head turned from the force. My hand burned but I didn't care. I can't believe he said that. I felt the hot tears form in my eyes, a few escaping.

He lifted his head and looked at me, his hand rubbing his now red cheek.

"Okay, I deserved that." He said, still rubbing his cheek.

"You think?" I choked out.

I scoffed and began to walk away again, wanting to so badly disappear. I lifted my hand and wiped my tears, even though more slid down my cheeks right after. I felt him grab my arm and stop me from walking any further.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He started. "Just please… don't walk away from me."

When I didn't respond, he began speaking again.

"Clare, I swear I didn't cheat on you. What you saw was just an act, well, from my point of view anyways." I didn't respond, only stared at the ground. "I wouldn't do that to you."

I nodded; I believe him, but I still wasn't sure on this relationship. Too many things are getting in the way. I do want to be with him, but I just can't.

I lifted my hand and placed it over his, as it still held onto my arm. I removed his hand from my arm and let go of it, letting it fall to his side. I looked up at him to see a confused look spread across his face.

"Maybe this was a mistake." I started. "I think we should just go back to our separate lives and forget any of this ever happened." My heart ached with every word.

He blinked and shook his head, "It's only been four days and you're giving up? Clare, I told you I didn't cheat-"

"And I believe you," I interrupted. "But, I just don't think this would work. There are too many things that could get in the way. You have your popularity and those jerks you call your friends, and I'm not a part of that group; were too different. It will never work, so we should just end it."

"I disagree." He responded.

"Eli, I think we should stop this, whatever this is, and see what happens."

"Like a break?" he asked softly. I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't want this. It seemed like he was hurting as much as I was. "It's only been four days, I don't want a break." He said softly as he stepped closer to me.

I closed my eyes as his hand reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I felt his breath on my skin, signaling he was leaning closer to me. I know I should pull away, but I couldn't, I didn't want to.

I felt his hand cup my cheek as he lifted my head slightly, aligning it with his. I felt his soft, plump lips being pressed against mine, and I wanted so badly to kiss him back, but I knew that that would give him the idea that we were still together. I wanted to stay with him, even if it was in secrecy, but I can't handle the bullshit that comes with it.

I gave in and moved my lips with his, just wanting to remember the feeling of having his lips against mine, since this would be the last time kissing him. My hands reached up and cupped his face as I slowly pulled away. I opened my eyes and stared into his.

"I really wish this could work." I whispered, rubbing my thumbs over his cheeks.

"It still can." He whispered, but his voice was forceful.

I shook my head as my hands slid down to his, holding them. I stared at our hands, wishing things were easier.

"From now on, we're back to hating each other." I said, looking up at him.

He shook his head, "I could never hate you."

"You did once, you can do it again."

He sighed and looked down at our hands. I took this chance and let a tear fall from my eye; I didn't want him to see me cry. He looked up and his face expression changed when he saw me crying.

"See, your crying, you don't want this to end." He said, letting go of one of my hands so he could wipe my tear away.

"I didn't say I wanted this to end, it just has to." I responded.

I leaned up and kissed his cheek before walking away slowly, our hands sliding apart. My hand fell to my side and I turned around, walking to my dorm.

Once I got to my dorm, Alli smiled at me and say hey, but all I could do was dive for my bed, hug a pillow, and cry. I cried and cried and cried. I never thought this would hurt so much. I mean, it's only been four days, why do I feel this much heartache?

Alli came and sat next to me, asking me what happened. I only shook my head, telling her not to bother. She obeyed and just sat there, rubbing my back, trying to sooth me. It didn't really work, but it helped knowing that I had a friend.

One thing I knew for certain; I don't hate Eli, no matter how badly I want to.

Eli's POV

After Clare broke up with me –which I still can't believe happened- I went up to my dorm and lay on my bed, on my side, staring blankly at the wall. The guys asked if I wanted to go out with them and Ashley and Bianca, but I refused. I didn't want to see anybody; I just wanted to be left alone. Unless Clare just happened to walk through my door; that's the only exception.

I have never felt this way about anyone, not since Julia. And I hated Clare, I mean, I really hated her, I don't know why, but I did. And now it's just the opposite.

I can't believe that she ended it, just after four days. I can' believe she thought I would cheat on her. I've been there, so why would I do that to someone else?

Ashley was just some girl the guys brought along, in attempt to help me get laid. Their words, not mine.

But I don't want Ashley, I want Clare. I have never wanted somebody so much.

I felt depressed as I stared at the blank wall. I have never felt this empty when a girl and I separate. Well, with Julia I have, but that's because we were really close, and then she has the nerve to cheat on me.

But I knew Clare wouldn't do that. But thanks to me, our relationship ended anyways.

I jumped up when I heard someone knocking on the door. I tripped up when I ran over to it, hoping it was Clare. Once I reached the door and opened it, I pinned my eyebrows together to see Ashley standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, feeling disappointed.

"Well, I was bored, so I figured we could… hang out." I couldn't help but notice the seductive tone she had when she said 'Hang out'.

"Uh… if you don't mind, I want to be alone right now." I told her.

"Why?" she asked, obviously not thinking that it's because of something personal, which it is.

"I had a bad day," I explained, just wanting her to leave.

"Well," she stepped closer to me, placing her finger on my chest. "Maybe I can make it better?" she whispered in a seductive tone.

I reached up and removed her hand from my chest, pushing her away slightly. "No thanks."

She scoffed, rolled her eyes and flipped her hair before leaving. I rolled my eyes at what a drama queen she is and closed my door.

I walked back over to my bed and went into my previous position, staring blankly at the wall. I began to think about Clare; how I can be myself around her, how she smiles so brightly, how her eyes sparkle when she's happy, how her laugh makes my day better. I wish she was here with me, right now. I wish I could kiss her, hold her, be with her. But I ruined that chance.

As for hating her, like she told me to, my feelings are far from hate.

I know this started out casual, but things change, just like my feelings. She is not just another girl to me, she is much more. I actually want to be with her, I want to call her mine, and I want to be able to walk around with her under my arm, in front of everyone.

But I can't.

I want to, but I can't.

Life sucks.

What's the point in life if you can't do what you want, without getting judged? Why can't we date who we want without people saying shit? Why, in high school, is everyone split into different groups? Why can't anyone be who they are without people making fun?

Life really does suck!

I sighed and closed my eyes, wishing life was completely different.

Well, I bet most of you hate me right now. BUT, things do get better, but what would a relationship be without problems?

I'm pretty sure the next chapter will make up for this one!

190 reviews for the next chapter! :)