[Cut to Arthur's chambers. Arthur and Merlin enter the room.]
Arthur: I don't trust those two. The Doctor and Rose.
Merlin: [sarcastically] Thanks, because I had no idea who you were talking about.
Arthur:I'm serious! Those two mean danger.
Merlin: What doesn't mean danger in Camelot?
Arthur: Anyways, I need someone to watch over them.
Merlin: What about Lancelot and Gwaine?
Arthur: No, I need to be training them as my new knights.
Merlin: I'm really surprised your father hasn't made any objections to them yet.
Arthur:I don't think he's realized. He sort of lost his wits after that ordeal with Morgana.
[Cut to Uther in his chambers having a tea party with stuff animals. He's talking to a stuff animal of a dog.]
Uther: Mrs. Butter-twinkle would you like another strawberry? Oh, I'm so glad you all decided to come. What's that? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Rabbit won't be joining us today. I know. I know. It's really a shame. I don't know if he'll be coming next time. I don't know. I'm sorry, but it's not like I stalk him and know where he is every minute of the hour. Are you really going to bring that up? Really? Well, fine, I won't talk you you either! See if I care! Shut up! I said shut up you! Quiet! I command you! [Stabs Mrs. Butter-twinkle] I'm sorry, but you made me do that.
[Cut back to Merlin and Arthur]
Merlin: We should confiscate his swords.
Arthur: Back to the subject, I'm afraid you're going to have to spy on them.
Merlin: Why me?
Arthur: Because I like to pick on you and secretly it's because there's no one more I trust, but I will never say it out loud. Now clean my shirt.
[Arthur takes off his short and hands it to Merlin. As Merlin's folding the shirt, he causally takes a sip of water from a cup on the table]
Merlin: I'll go find them in the morning.
[Cut to next morning. Merlin is asleep in bed. He's having a dream. He wakes up.]
Merlin: No!
[Gaius runs in]
Gaius: Merlin what is it?
Merlin: I had a horrible nightmare that there were all these screaming teenage girls trying to force feed me! It was terrifying!
Gaius: Well, you better get going.
Merlin: I need to find the Doctor and Rose. Now the question is where to find them.
[ The sound of screaming is heard outside.]
Merlin: Never mind.
[Cut to Merlin running into the courtyard. The Doctor and Rose are battling a rhinoceros with wings.]
Merlin: What the hell is that!
Rose: Is that a trick question?
[She avoids being whacked in the head by it's foot]
Doctor: We must destroy it! It has already assassinated one little boy's parents!
[The doctor points his sonic screw driver at it. Nothing happens.]
Merlin: Is that a wand?
Doctor: No! It's a sonic screw driver!
[Rhinoceros gobbles up a child]
Rose: Not again!
Merlin: What does a sonic screw driver do?
Doctor: It can intercept signals ranging from transmit beams to conscious thought, make medical diagnostics and repair of organic parts, cut, and re-attach materials, operate machinery, create sparks to light candles; drive screws without touching them, and it can be used as a defensive weapon...as long as there's no wood involved.
Merlin: So basically a wand, but not as good.
Doctor: Don't dis the screwdriver!
[Arthur, Gwaine, Elyan, Leon and Gwen enter]
Arthur: What is that?
Rose: Is everyone blind here?
[The Rhino flies towards Gwen]
Gwen: Arthur!
Arthur: Don't worry Gwen! I'll save you!
[Arthur rips off his shirt. Everyone, but Rose and the Doctor, takes a sip from there boda(drinking) bags. Arthur steps in front of Rhinoceros.]
Arthur: My name is Arthur pentdragon, you're destroying my kingdom! Prepare to die!
[Rhino knocks him in the head with his hoof. Arthur is unconscious.]
Gwen: [Sigh] Oh, Arthur.
[The Rhino looks back with Gwen. There is a murderous look in the animal's eye.]
Gwen: Oh no!
[She covers her eyes]
Merlin: Swelt goldbeorth!
[The Rhino explodes. The Doctor and Rose look with amazement. Gwen unshielded her eyes.]
Gwen: Well that was lucky.
[She starts to walk off]
Doctor: Did you just see that! He just exploded that beast!
Gwen: Don't be silly. Merlin doesn't have magic.
[Gwen exits. Doctor goes up to Elyan]
Doctor: Please tell me you saw that.
Elyan: I was helping an injured citizen.
Doctor: Gwaine you must have seen something!
Gwaine: [Drunk] That's SIR Gwaine *hiccup* to you!
Doctor: Leon?
Leon: Sorry, I was tying my shoe.
Doctor: You're wearing metal boots!
Leon: Well I'll be!
[Doctor slaps his forehead. Then he and Rose go over to Merlin.]
Doctor: What was that?
Merlin: [reluctantly]Magic.
Doctor: There's no such thing as magic.
Rose: How do you know that for sure, Doctor? As for me, I can safely say, I had no idea flying rhinoceroses existed until this morning.
Doctor: It could have been an alien. [looks at Merlin] That's what you are, Isn't it? I demand under the shadow proclamation section 75 that you tell me your species!
Merlin: Look, just because I'm not like you doesn't mean I'm some other species! We both have something to hide so I suggest we both help each other other out. Does that seem like a deal?
[They give each other hard looks. Finally the Doctor concedes.]
Doctor: Fine. [Looks at Arthur] Is he going to be okay?
Merlin: Yeah, this always happens.
Rose: So wait, if you have magic...this means you really are THE Merlin of the legends.
Merlin: What legends?
River: Spoilers.
[River exits. Arthur wakes up.]
Arthur: Merlin, what happened?
Merlin: You killed it!
Arthur: That makes sense. I rock!
Rose: That's not medieval slang.
[Arthur exits.]
Doctor: Is he really that dumb?
Merlin: Yeah.
Rose: As exciting as this has all been, I really think we should be leaving.
[Merlin, Rose and the Doctor go to where they parked the TARDIS. It's gone!]
Rose: Doctor! Where is it!
[Doctor finds a note nailed to a tree.]
Doctor: I can't read this! How can I not? The TARDIS translates everythin- oh.
Merlin: Let me see that. [takes paper] Oh, it's written in the language of the old religion. It says:
" Owner of blue box,
you're possession was found on the grounds of the artist presently known as Morgana Smirkalot and previously know as Morgana Pentdragon. It has been confiscated until you come visit me in Cendred's castle to help over throw Arthur and Uther Pentdragon! I eagerly await you're reply.
Love, from you're future murder,
Morgana."
Rose: Oh my!
Merlin: That witch!
Doctor: We need to get the TARDIS back.
Merlin: What does TARDIS stand for, anyway?
Rose: Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It's very powerful, wonderful and can be dangerous. So who exactly is this Morgana who's gotten a hold of it?
Merlin: Ummm, she's a not so subtle evil sorcerous, trying to rule Camelot.
Doctor: Great.
Merlin: Don't worry, I'll get someone very special to help us. [Looks up to the sky] O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!
Rose: How did you do that!
Merlin: Well, I'm sort of a dragon lord too.
Rose: That's amazing!
Doctor: Not as cool as being a Time Lord.
Merlin: What does a Time Lord do?
Doctor: It's not about doing! It's a state of being. We can see all of time and space. What was, what will be, and what can never be. It's so much more than anyone could fathom!
Merlin: Being a dragon lord is an ancient gift. I share a voice with the dragon, and my soul is bonded with Kilgarah's. Also, I can see into the future.
Rose: Is that a Dragon lord power?
Merlin: No, it's just another one of my secret talents.
Doctor: I am the last of my kind!
Merlin: So am I!
[The great dragon arrives]
Dragon: Boys! Boys, stop fighting over who has the most angst.
Rose: Oh my god! He can talk! Wait a minute I know that voice.
Doctor/Rose: John Hurt!
Dragon: Yes, it's me. In the future I turn myself human and change my name to that.
Rose: No wonder you're so awesome. Just look at you! You a great blooming animal.
Dragon: I am not an animal!
Merlin: Kilgarah, the Doctor and Rose have lost their travel device. What must we do to retrieve it?
[Merlin goes up to the dragon and shakes his belly like a figure 8 ball]
Kilgarah: Try again later.
[Merlin shakes his belly again.]
Kilgarah: Unlikely.
Merlin: Why must you always be so cryptic?
Kilgarah: For this task to be complete, you must get the other side of the coin to help.
Merlin: Got it!
[Merlin runs off]
Rose: "What will he find out there, doctor?"
Doctor: "His destiny."
Kilgarah/Dr. Zaius : Hey that's my line!
Kilgarah( to Dr. Zaius): Who the hell are you?
[Dr. Zaius goes to pet Kilgarah]
Kilgarah: "Take your stinking paws off me, you darn dirty ape!"