Chapter 1: Memories of Forsaken Lies

"Don't worry; when I leave I'll come back….I promise."

His final words echoed in my head in agony. The tone he had when making that promise was true, thoughtful, and sincere. But it was all a lie. It's been three years sense he said those words and left me, and yet, I still feel he's going to return. But I know he will not ever come back.

"Mr. Knight!" My train of thought was snapped as my last name was announced.

"Y-yes sir," I looked away from where I was previously staring at and looked up at my teacher who stood before me with a hand on my desk and him leaned forward with a glare placed on his face.

"You haven't stopped staring out the window for the past fifteen minutes!" He growled. "Is your girlfriend out there in a bikini or something?"

I heard the entire class start to laugh and giggle at my teacher's, Mr. Strife, comment. My face grew hot and a blush was painted on my face.

"Sora," Mr. Strife looked over to the brunette that sat beside. "Who you please make sure blondie here, stays on task?"

Sora's blue eyes glistened with pride and he nodded in reply. "Yes sir, I'll make sure he pays attention." The brunette saluted to the teacher and looked over to me with a grin.

"Good, now where were we?" Mr. Strife's voice eased down when a groan escaped my throat.

"Oh, looks like our teachers pet is having an off day." Sora whispered still grinning at me.

I didn't want to look at Sora and only looked down at the black science table we sat at. He was right, usually I was the first one to answer one of the questions Mr. Strife had given us but today, my mind was stuck on one thing and one thing only: Lea, my ex-boyfriend.

Today was the third year anniversary of Lea's death. But he didn't die because of murder or a medical situation, he had committed suicide. No one knew why he had, but I had my own theory. Lea's older brother, Reno, had begun to rape him when he turned thirteen and Lea couldn't fight it any longer and ended his suffering.

Sora, my best friend that I had known sense I was born, had found Lea when he and his older brother, Leon, had gone to visit Reno. Sora knew I would take it hard and didn't call me till they took him to the hospital and was told Lea didn't make it.

"Is because of-" Sora was stopped when Mr. Strife slapped his meter stick against the chalk board.

"Sora Tatum," The teacher began. "If making sure Roxas stays on task is too much trouble then why don't you go and sit with the principle instead."

Sora nervously shook his head side to side making his spiked brown hair go a bit frizzy. Sora placed his hands on his lap innocently and watched for the teacher to turn back to the board before pulling out a piece of paper and a pencil.

I looked back out the window beside me to see the sun was now lowering below the buildings outside and creating shadows along the school ground. Some of the sun had begun to shine in my royal blue eyes and made a black sport appear in the corner of my eyes.

Suddenly a nudge to my arm made my gaze turn back to Sora. Sora had been looking at the teacher like he didn't do anything but I looked down at my arm and saw the paper he had had been written on.

I looked up to make sure the teacher was looking before pulling the paper in front of me and see what he wrote. I gave the teacher a final and saw what he wrote.

'Is it because of Lea?' Sora's writing was pretty sloppy, in my opinion, but sense I had been almost living on his handwriting I had gotten used to it to where I am able to read it.

'What do you think? TT^TT…..' I wrote back before passing it to him.

He read it then looked at me with a sympathetic look. My face dropped as I looked away and back out the window. Everyone had seen how hard I had taken Lea's death but none had any idea on how to help me. Even my brother and sister didn't know what to do until they found me trying to slit my wrist.

After that day I had begun to go to a council and had started to become an outsider to the group. Sora had felt a bit hurt by the way I wouldn't talk to anyone but he and everyone else knew I had to have some time alone.

'Meet me at my locker after class.' Sora wrote before starting to write the notes Mr. Strife had told us to do.

Before class came to an end the teacher had given us some free time and my mood didn't dare change and stayed at its usual depressed stage. Sora had gone to talk to his friend, Riku, for a few minutes while I was left talking to my friends, Hayner, Pence, and Olette. I'm not complaining or anything but they were…different from me. They were more of the outgoing kind and weren't afraid to stand out type.

"So, I heard Seifer got detention today." Olette began as she sat on the desk next to Pence. Olette was the yearbook writer in our group and had been the one that followed everything that goes on in the school. Like Sora, she had chocolate brown hair and wore it to be split into two pieces and hang on her shoulders. But she had deep green eyes that seemed to fit her very well.

"Ha! Serves him right," Hayner laughed crossing his arms and puffing out his chest. Hayner was the athletic one of us. He had been on the baseball team and was always the first picked when it came to dodge ball, lucky. Hayner's hair was like mine but it was a lighter blonde and it was more spiked up like how some bad boy would wear.

"Yeah but sadly the baseball coach was okay with it, remember." Pence said chewing on an ice cream stick in his mouth. Pence was the eater, he ate almost anything we forced at him. He was a bit bigger than us but he never cared. Pence had jet black hair that stuck up in the air and was held up by a headband he got when he was in sixth grade.

I watched as the three laughed and joked around about stupid stuff in class. My eyes had wondered off to Sora who too looked happy talking with Riku. Why was I the only one that still seemed depressed about Lea? Was he not important to them? Or were they just trying to make me feel better by not hiding their sadness.

Before I could say anything to Hayner the bell had rung and everyone had begun to exit out the room. Sora and Riku did their secret handshake they had made in eighth grade as Sora walked over to me still giggling about something Riku had said.

"See ya Roxas," Olette waved before the three left.

"Hey," Sora greeted. I didn't reply to him and only nodded still having my head stuck on Lea. "wanna come over and study together?" He asked.

I thought about for a few second then shrugged. "Sure I guess…." My voice was more of a whisper but Sora knew I was still depressed.

"'Kay, meet me at my locker?" He smiled.

I nodded back to him before walking away and to my locker. Luckily mostly everyone was gone or off to the side so it was easy for me to dodge most of the students that walked in front of me or past me. I kept my head down the entire time and tried hard to hold back my tears.

"Oh Roxas," Someone called from the side.

I stopped and looked over to see my twin brother, Ventus standing at his locker with his friends, Terra and Aqua. Ventus looked exactly like me sense we were identical twins. Ventus had golden hair that was styled the same was like mine which was a side spike. His eyes were a royal blue but, unlike mine, they had a green outline around them.

I waved to him nervously as he rushed over to me. "Hey I'm going to stay over at Terra's tonight and I was hoping you could let me borrow your phone so I can call mom and tell her?" Ventus, who everyone calls Ven for short, pleaded.

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. I was slightly glad he didn't see how bad I was feeling but I was a bit sad that he too wasn't feeling bad about Lea. Seeing how he was the one that introduced me to Lea I would expect him to be more devastated then I am.

"Sure but you need to quit being a pussy and ask mom for a phone!" I growled pulling out my phone and slapping it into his hand.

Ven's eye brow rose. "I'm the pussy?"

After he called mom and told her he was gonna be back in the morning I took the phone and told her I would be going to Sora's to study. Of course like the kind-hearted mom I know I have, she said that it was alright with her. My mom too was a bit depressed today sense she happened to be Lea's moms best friend and was there when Lea was born.

When I got to my locker I had put up some of my textbooks up and grabbed my notebooks I had for other class. But my eyes wonder to the locker door where a picture of me and Lea was placed there. I remember I had taken that picture when we first entered sixth grade. He had looked perfect back then. His hair was still his perfect red and was perfectly spiked up and out of his face. His eyes were still their enlightening emerald green and his lips were still in their happy smile.

Tears had begun to well up in my eyes and my chest begun to tighten. I hid my face in my locker so no one would see and wiped away the tears that began to fall down my cheeks. Why did he have to go? Why did he have to lie and leave me alone?

"Big brother?" A familiar gentle voice called from his side. I got scared to see who it was and wiped away the tears and looked over to the voice.

There, stood my little sister, Naminé holding a star shaped luck charm in her hand with a sad frown on her face.

"Yes Naminé," I made sure I wasn't crying any longer and smiled at her. Naminé was a very emotional girl unlike most girls and she hated to see me sad. When she had found me trying to cut myself she literally went into a motherly instinct and held me all night, crying.

"I was wondering if you'd seen Kairi today." Naminé looked down at her luck charm.

Kairi, Lea's younger sister. Sense Lea's death she had blamed herself for his death and had gone into a protective state over Naminé sense the two were like sisters. Kairi also went into a tomboy stage and had begun to get into more fights and started to act more of a boy then a girly girl. Even one year she dyed her hair black and got her bellybutton pierced.

"Sorry Nami," I scratched the back of my head nervously. "I hadn't seen Kairi all day; I think she might have stayed home."

Naminé sighed and let her arms drop to her sides. I knew Naminé was worried about Kairi but to me she seemed a bit too worried. I believe Kairi was better than to let Reno do anything to her and I also believe that she was strong enough to not kill herself. But I used to think the same thing about Lea….guess I was wrong.

"Oh okay…." Naminé frowned. "Well I'll see you when I get home."

Naminé leaned forward and kissed my cheek before waving to me and leaving. I hated to see Naminé so sad but then again it was vice versa for her. To me she was my second mother (my second mother is younger than me…weird) and she was always going to be here for me no matter how bad things get.

Once I was done at my locker I had meet Sora at his. Again, I caught him talking to Riku. Now and days, that was the only time I saw Sora; with Riku. I'm not saying that I hate Riku and am jealous of him or anything, but every time I wanted to hang out with Sora Riku hasn't be in the way.

Riku was a year older than us and is the head of the football team. To me it wasn't anything to brag about but of course it's what Sora loves the most about him. Riku's hair was the thing that threw me off entirely, it was a silver/gray and it made him look like an old man. His eyes were a light blue which made him look like a blind person.

Sora turned to me and waved as Riku walked away. I gave Riku a slight glare, seeing how his back was turned to me and mentally flipped him off.

"Hey Rox," I looked back and saw Sora was now standing right in front of me still smiling. "Are you feeling any better?" He asked.

I saw how happy Sora had been and knowing myself, I was too good of a person to see someone hurt and nodded. "Yeah I'm feeling much better," I lied.

Sora's smile widened. "Good then let's head out." He said before beginning to march down the hall and starting to ramble on about his day.

I didn't bother listening to Sora sense I already heard how his day went in Lunch and let my mind drift off into a memory I had of me and Lea.

"So I was thinking maybe me and you could go and hang out at the beach next weekend." Lea smiled as he curled his arm around my shoulder and walked beside me with his hip against mine.

I smiled at him and grabbed his hand. "What you mean like a date?" I looked over and saw some guys glaring at us and I immediately knew what Lea was thinking.

Lea's eyes looked down to mine. "Only if you want it to be a date,"

I looked up and into his eyes and suddenly became mesmerized. I loved his eyes; they were one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Somehow they always made me stop and stare and think about what it would be like in the future for us.

I had forgotten what he had said and only laughed to hide the embarrassment. Honestly, every time I had gazed into his eyes I had forgotten everything and only remembered whose eyes they belong to.

"So, how are Ventus and Naminé doing?" He asked looking away so I could remember what to say.

"They're doing good, Naminé just started sixth grade so I'm sure she's fitting in well." I smiled.

"Same with Kairi, but she said some guy named Bryan has started to tease her and, what I think is funny, she asked me to beat him up for her." He laughed.

I loved how our little sister's always came to get help from us. But it always made me laugh when Kairi was teased by boys when she should be taking them as complement. Most of the boys were saying she had to bright of hair and that she had dyed it when her family runs with redheads like mines runs with blonds.

As we walked outside I looked over and saw Sora and Riku were sitting on the stairs talking side by side. The two looked to be flirting but they also looked to be talking about math or something. But I already knew Sora hated to talk about school period and he wasn't all the good at flirting.

"Hey lovebirds," Sora chirped looking back at me and Lea.

I glared at Sora for his nickname and stuck my tongue out at him. "Ah Sora, you're not jealous are you?" Lea grinned.

Sora's face dropped as Riku laughed and the two stood up. "Oh shut up Lea!" Sora snarled.

I giggled slightly before pulling myself out from under his arm. "So Sora," My hand swung back behind me and I skipped over to him. "Are you and Riku going out?"

"WHAT!" Sora and Riku jumped. "No, no, no, no, you got that all wrong we're just-"

I laughed. "Just kidding, just kidding, I know you two are just friends and Riku you're straight and don't like guys."

Riku nodded and crossed his arms. "And besides we were just talking about going to the beach on Saturday."

"Hm, strange so where we," Lea wrapped his arm around my neck again and out his hand on his hip.

"Cool then maybe we can all go together." Sora jumped.

"Roxas," A voice called upon the memory that flew past my vision.

"Hm?" I looked up and saw me and Sora were already in front of his house. Sora stood in front of me with a nervous look on his face and his eyes were shining in worry.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit pale and you seem a bit surprised." Sora put the back of his hand on my head and looked into my eyes. "Do you have a fever?"

Yeah, Sora I have a fever….over Lea. "No I'm alright…." Then I had started to think of Lea again. I started to think of what today was and when this day happened.

"Okay…if you're sure," Sora pulled his hand away and turned to walk inside. At that moment Sora had changed into Lea and unwillingly I reached forward and gripped his head. Lea had turned to me but he changed back into Sora. "R-Roxas…."

I didn't let go of his hand until I was on the bridge of tears. My legs had felt weak and my chest was so tight I could hear my own heartbeat and my blood rushing through my ears.

'Don't worry; when I leave, I'll come back….I promise." Liar!

"Sora…." Then my legs had finally given up and I fell down to my knees with tears falling from my eyes and touching the concrete. I heard Sora gasped and felt him kneel before me while grabbing my hand that held his.

"Roxas…." He tried to look into my eyes but my blonde bangs denied the look.

"Sora…I want to see him…" I whispered. I knew that had confused Sora by how he didn't respond and I repeated myself. "Sora I want to go so him….I want to be held by him….to be embraced by him….to cry with him….I want him!" I tried to force myself to say Lea's name but my lips denied it.

"Roxas…." Sora was obviously heartbroken by my pathetic pleads. "Lea isn't here anymore….he is in a better place now."

"B-But…" I stuttered. "I want to see him…one last time."

Sora pulled me into a hug and rubs my back trying to calm me down. "Roxas….why don't we go visit him. Or let's go visit Kairi and go take her to go see him."

My heart stopped when he spoke those words. But it was what I wanted….to go see him one last time. I wanted to go and see his grave one last time this year and get to say my rightful goodbyes. Tell him everything that has happened sense the last time I had seen him.

And have the chance to tell him I love him.