I do not own Criminal Minds, much to my chagrin.

Some lines are taken directly from 'Scared to Death'.

I would like to thank BeccaWestlifeAddict, Kat Kingsman, brinney, nic.herat.FF, and mabelreid for your reviews. They encourage me in my attempts at writing.

Also I would like to thank my friends and for continuing to support me in my writing.

-------

Reid arrived at JJ's house at four am. He could hear her swearing under her breath as she made her way to the door. When she opened it though she was shocked by what she saw. Reid was standing at her door in what he had been wearing the last time she had seen him, his eyes were red and puffy from crying… but why?

"Spence, what's wrong? What happened?" JJ asked him, she took a hold of his arm and guided him into her apartment.

"Gideon… he's…gone." He whispered staring at his shoes, she could barely hear him.

"Spence, what are you talking about? What do you mean gone?" She asked, she watched him pull a letter out of his pocket, he handed it to her. She read it, then she looked at him in disbelief, then she reread the letter. "Oh Spence." She whispered.

"What could I have done to make him stay?" He asked, new tears running down his face, He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands, JJ sat down next to him and put her arm around him.

"Spence there was nothing you could do. Do you hear me? Nothing." She said, he wrapped his arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder.

"For some reason I don't believe you." He said once he was done crying.

"Spence…" She said, her voice told him that he was on thin ice.

"He's really gone…" He whispered.

--------

"Gideon left everything, except the photographs." Garcia said the next morning, Morgan and Emily were both hovering over Reid. Who was rereading the note, over and over again.

"Yeah he always said they were like his family." Reid said, not looking up from his note. Morgan and Emily looked at each other, both were concerned about their youngest agent.

"What should we do with all of this?" Garcia asked, walking down towards where the three other agents were standing. Emily let out a sigh, Morgan and Emily appeared to both me thinking the same thing. 'Will Reid get though this?'

--------

"Okay we have four victims in Oregon, two male, two female…" JJ said as she had Hotch walked into the round table room.

"I've got this." Hotch said.

"Uh, sure." JJ said. Still handing out case files.

"I know that we've all been wondering what this was all about, and, uh, I've known Jason for many years and I can tell you, I have no idea. But it doesn't even matter, what matters is we're here, and we're gunna continue." He said to his team. He wasn't sure how the team would get through this, but he knew they would.

---------

"Hey." JJ said to Reid when she walked into the conference room where he was looking at the board. Everyone else was off doing other things, they were going to be giving the profile in a little while. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He whispered.

"Baby I am so sorry, I wish he hadn't have left, I really do." JJ said walking over to him, she knelt down in front of her and took his hands in hers.

"I know, I should have seen this coming though, I should have helped him." He said.

"There was nothing you could have done." JJ said.

"It's just like with Elle, I knew. I knew that they weren't right. I knew I should have told someone, but I didn't. It was all my fault." He said.

"Spencer, look at me. It wasn't your fault! It wasn't anyone's fault but Frank's and Randle Garners. Do I make myself clear?" She said. Reid nodded. Just then they heard the clink of high heals coming their way causing JJ to instantly stand up and step away from Spence.

"Hey guys, we're ready to give the briefing." Emily said to them, then she turned around and headed to where they would be giving the briefing, JJ followed closely behind. "Is Reid okay?" Emily asked.

"Honestly I don't know. He's hiding his feelings pretty well, but he feels guilty about Gideon leaving, about Elle's leaving…" JJ said.

"Elle's the girl I replaced right?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, he always felt guilty about that, and he feels guilty about this. I don't know how I can help him." She said.

"Just be there for him." Emily said, then she opened the door to the room where the rest of the team was, Reid ran to catch up with them, and they walked in together.

--------

"So Hotch is even more intense with Gideon gone." Emily said to Reid as they were walking down the street.

"Chyeah I've noticed." He said, stopping and turning towards her.

"Do you think that's going to change?" Emily asked.

"I certainly think we'll find out." He said.

"What about you? You okay?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I'm great." He said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"What's there to talk about really?" He asked, shrugging.

"Gideon." She said meaningfully.

"Oh he left a letter explaining everything to me, just like my dad did when he abandoned me and my mom." He said, slight sarcasm in his voice.

"He addressed it to you." She said meaningfully.

"Yeah." He said, a little confused, "Gideon stood toe to toe with some of the sickest people on this planet. I mean that took a lot of courage right?"

"Yeah."

"So why'd he do this?" He asked, pulling out the letter, "It's addressed to me, but I'm not the only one he abandoned." He said trying to hand the letter to Emily.

"But why is it addressed to you? I think you need to read that letter again." She said.

"I have an eidetic memory Emily." He said.

"Yeah and an IQ of 187, but what do you remember about your father?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"He gave you ten years before he left, and yet you've erased all those memories. And it's too painful, I get it. But then Gideon leaves, I think you need to read that letter again. And ask yourself why, of all the people he walked away from did he only explain himself to one person. You." Emily said then she turned and walked away.

---------

The next night Reid lie on JJ's couch with his head in her lap, she was running her fingers through his wavy brown hair.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah I think I am." He said, smiling up at her, oh how she loved that smile.

"So what do you want to do now?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows provocatively.

"I don't know, I'm kinda hungry." He said jokingly, he couldn't help but smile when she slapped him on the chest. Her golden hair looked beautiful in the dim light. He stood up and wrapped one arm around her upper body and put the other under her legs and carried her off to the bedroom.

--------

I kinda had to rush the end... sorry, it's late and I wanted to get it posted. Next chapter will start out around this time then it will kinda skip to after Limelight, if everything goes as planned... lol.