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I don't think I can even express to you how many drafts of this chapter I have gone though. I have deleted, rearranged, combined, added-to and then I completely re-wrote the ending… twice.

But I think that you guys will like…. you know… the general direction that things are taking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Addison was walking as fast as she could; so fast that her trench was billowing out at her sides.

She saw him as soon as she stepped through the airport gates. Her pace increased, and within seconds she had dropped her carry-on at her feet, and his arms were encircling her waist. She gripped his shoulders tightly and let out the breath that she had been holding since he had left.

"Come on," he said, his voice low and exhausted as he took her hand, "We only have an hour before they take her in."

She hadn't even checked luggage, she had what she had thrown together between her locker and Callie's.

She didn't drop his hand until they reached the surgical wing, her walking half a step ahead of him the whole time.

"Did we make it?" Derek questioned, his hand resting between Addison's shoulders urging her towards the room.

"Yeah," Meredith watched as Addison went immediately to the little girls bedside, "She made it."

XXXX

It seemed like they waited forever.

Every time someone walked by the door every head jerked up to see if it was someone bringing news.

Meredith fidgeted in her seat, she desperately needed to pee and get a drink of water. She gave Derek's arm a comforting squeeze, "I'll be right back"

A long moment passed in complete silence, everyone in their separate groupings, quietly contemplating. Addison stood apart from the group, staring out the window into the late afternoon sun. She met Derek's eye as he watched her reflection in the glass.

She gave him a tentative smile.

He watched her a moment longer then dropped his head back in defeat.

She turned and crossed the room, claiming the spot that Meredith had vacated. Reaching over she entwined her fingers tightly with his and rested her cheek against his arm.

Instinctively he nuzzled his face against her hair and gripped her hand tightly; then, abruptly, he dropped her hand and left the room.

Addison sighed in frustration and followed him out of the room.

"Derek?" She called after him, "Derek!"

It was a full minute before he stopped walking and turned to face her, "Stop following me!"

Addison's jaw dropped in surprise.

"Just. Stop."

"Fine," Addison crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're not suppose to be here."

Addison was silent, staring at the ceiling above his head, "You asked me to come."

"I know."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"You can't leave," he exclaimed, "You're family."

"That's not what I asked."

"I can't do this Addison. I just… I can't."

"You can't…" Addison shook her, "I don't know what you think I am asking you to do Derek. I came because this is our family and you told me I should be here. You involved me. I didn't ask to come, I came because you said you wanted me here."

"I know. I do," Derek insisted pressing his hands against his temples, "I just… I can't… do this, Addison."

"Do what? I'm not asking you to do anything," Addison shook her head and stared at the wall, tracing the lines of the bricks, "You know two years ago we were having this exact same fight, except that it was me saying 'I can't' and you were asking me for something."

"Derek?"

Derek looked out over Addison's shoulder, "Ya?"

"Mom is asking for you," Jenny said slowly, watching them carefully.

"Okay," Derek nodded and stepped by Addison without giving her a second glance.

"So…" Jenny began once Derek had disappeared around the corner, "What was that."

"Habit," Addison groaned in frustration, "Almost 4 years and we can't even be in the same room without fighting."

"Apparently," Jenny smiled wearily, "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure," Addison smiled back and wrapped her arm around Jenny's shoulders.

"I don't know where you are planning on staying while you are here, but would you mind watching Sophie tonight? I want to stay here with Mom and Andi has been juggling 4 babies for the past 2 days…"

"Sophie ––" Addison smiled, "I forgot you were a mom now."

"I know," Jenny grinned, "I do, too."

Addison sighed as they started back towards the waiting room, "Seems like yesterday that you were throwing tantrums and screaming that you were to old to be my flower girl."

XXXX

Catherine gently stroked Laura's fingers, her other hand tangled in her dark curls.

"Mom?"

"Ya, baby?"

Laura turned her eyes towards her mother and shook her head, shrugging.

"What is it?"

"I don't think I can go tomorrow."

"The funeral?"

She nodded.

"You don't have to."

"Yes, I do. He's my husband."

"Laura…"

"I'm just not ready for that closure yet. I don't think I even realize that he's gone yet. I haven't even… cried. How can I go to his funeral and grieve when I don't even believe that he's gone."

"You go for your kids."

Laura inhaled sharply, "What kind of mother am I? I can't even keep my kid's fathers alive."

Catherine smiled, "You, are a fantastic mother. Better then Nancy, she's the last person that should have procreated."

Laura laughed in spite of herself.

"And as for keeping our kid's fathers alive, well, it happens to the best of us."

"Hey," Derek stepped in the room, making no preamble he slide onto the bed and linked his arm through his sister's.

Catherine smiled –– her blue eyed babies.

"This sucks," Laura whispered leaning on Derek's shoulder.

"Yeah."

"You really brought Addison?"

"Yeah."

"That was stupid."

"Yeah. I'm starting to see that."

"Mrs. Bartlett?"

Laura, Derek and Catherine looked up to see the Doctor standing in the doorway, a grim look on his face.

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

XXXX

"Coffee?"

Meredith smiled and accepted the mug from the outstretched hand of Derek's youngest sister.

"Where is he?" Andrea asked as she sat down beside her.

"I don't know, I went to the bathroom and when I came back he was gone."

"As if he left you here. Alone. In a room… with Kathleen and Nancy."

"Those where kinda my thoughts too. They don't even have kids or husbands here to distract them."

"And they have each other. Which is not good. You're lucky you have me and Laura."

"I've never even met Laura."

"Oh. I forgot. Derek keeps you hidden away from her. I think he's afraid that she won't like you and then he'll be compelled to leave you."

"Addison fan?"

"Not even, she hates Addison these days. Her and Derek just have an overly developed sibling bond. But hey, instead of staying at the big house where Kathleen reigns over all, you get to stay at the little house with me and Jenny. All the 20-somethings in one house, it's like a sorority of outcasts. If you ignore the babies."

"I love the babies."

Andrea smiled, "See I knew you would. Everyone else wanted to pussy-foot around it and I was like, come on, you can't just hide babies from her for the rest of her life. This family is retarded when it comes to babies."

"Personal experience?"

"They have been procreating since I was 7. Me and Jenny are more like cousins then aunt and niece. The whole damn family is just psychotic. Oh my god, single girls with babies. Or like with you. Everything about you is like major drama that requires multiple phone calls to every member of this family."

Meredith blushed, but chuckled.

"No seriously. You're my age, people freaked out about that. I was just grateful to finally have someone that understood the brilliance of ballet flats and how they totally go with everything; there are way to many prada-wearing-40-something's in this family. I'm totally out numbered and ignored. You, me and Jenny need to band together. Dog-eat-Dog. Us or them or those other ones. Fogies, team super-cool –– thats us, and the rugrats."

Meredith laughed, "You've given this a lot of thought."

"I've been waiting for Derek's mid-life crisis since I was 14," Andi grinned, "You were like a Christmas present. That puppy that every kid asks Santa for but never gets."

"How much coffee have you have?"

"None," she sighed, "I'm just talking. My sister and niece are a little to close to the light for my liking, and it seems like everyone else has someone to keep them sane. Mom's the only rational and calm person in this family, which is why she's the only one Laura is letting into her room –– it's also the reason we begged her to move into the little house –– but it leaves me hanging out with the precocious pre-med or whatever they are calling you these days."

"Sorority of outcasts?"

"Welcome to the club."

XXXX

"We're stopping," the Doctor was saying as Addison re-entered the room, Derek standing stoned-faced at his side.

"What happened," Kathleen demanded.

All eyes turned to her.

"Anna's coded twice," the doctor explained, "We don't want to put anymore stress on her. So we've stopped and we'll go back in a few days when she has had a chance to rest."

"Can we see her?" Catherine asked.

"She's in ICU for the night," the Doctor informed them, "If one or two of you want to go in, that's fine, but no more then that," he smiled at them,

"Laura asked me to tell you to all go home, and she doesn't want to see any of you until breakfast." Derek informed his family, "Jenny's staying with her, she wants everyone else to go."

"Alright," Kathleen stood, immediately taking charge, "Family dinner tonight. The big house. Bring casseroles," she stood on her tip-toes and called over the bustle of family getting ready to leave, "Addison. Don't move," she ordered, weaving her way over, she nudged her in the ribs, "Way to keep in touch."

Addison smiled, "Well there are a lot of you to try to keep in touch with. And I've left messages with every single one of your kids at one point or another, so maybe you teach them to write messages down and we'll be able to get in touch with each other."

"Touche, Dr. Montgomery."

"I try, Dr. Carmichael."

Kathleen smiled briefly, "So where are you staying?"

"I don't know," Addison sighed, "I was going to drive up and stay with my Mom, apparently Abigail is home too, but Jenny asked me to take Sophie for the night and I am not driving her an hour and a half out of town to subject her to my mother and kid sister, so I might just get a hotel close by."

"Stay at the little house."

"Derek's staying there."

"So what. Take Jenny's room, it's across from Mom's, and has the good shower."

"The gable room?"

"And you wouldn't have to pack up all that baby crap."

"Kathleen…"

"I'd say stay at the big house but I already have 12 kids and 4 adults crammed into 4 bedrooms with 2 bathrooms and an empty fridge."

"We'll see."

Kathleen nodded, "I was also wondering if you had talked to Mark."

"Mark?"

"Ya. Have you talked to him since you got here?"

Addison shook her head, "I think I saw him right after Derek left. I told him what was going on but then he got paged… why?"

"No. No reason. I'll just call him when I get home, update him."

"Update Mark?"

"Ya, well, it's Laura."

"Laura? Mark and Laura?"

"You didn't know that? He asked her to every school dance from grade 6 up to prom. She said no every time, but still got mad if it looked like he wouldn't ask her. I think they even went on a few dates after Joe died, but… Jenny was so young then and Mark was still doing his undergrad…"

"Mark and Laura…"

"Yeah. I can't believe you didn't know that. Laura almost didn't go to your wedding because Mark had a date. She didn't talk to Nancy for months when… I'm not even sure if she's talking to you or not," Kathleen smiled grimly, "Someone should call Mark."

XXXX

"Laura's doing fine," Addison said softly the moment that Mark answered the phone.

He breathed a sigh of relief, "She's okay?"

"Medically speaking, she's going to recover. It's just going to take time," she waited for him to say something, but when he didn't she continued, ""I would have called sooner but I didn't know that you…"

"I didn't think that anyone remembered really."

"Kathleen did."

"Ya. She would. Kathleen is like an elephant, she never forgets. Anything," Mark sighed again, "This is the second time that Laura has lost the love of her life. Once is bad enough but… How does she, of all people, deserve that? She should be happy."

"Hey," Addison grinned, "Guess what I'm doing tonight?"

"What?"

"Baby-sitting her granddaughter."

"Sophie?" Mark smiled, "Laura sent me a picture from her christening. She's a knock out isn't she? Laura's eyes."

Addison was silent for a long moment, "She's the love of your life isn't she?"

"The first of many," Mark chuckled, "But ya. She's definitely the first."

XXXX

"Don't you find this awkward?"

"What?" Addison took a gulp of her milk and kicked her heel against the cupboard door.

"Being here. With Meredith," Andrea, asked, "Stop kicking my cupboards. I've spent 2 years trying to get rid of those dents you left."

Addison was silent a moment, "We all work together in Seattle," she said finally.

"But this is here. With family. In the house."

Addison shrugged.

"Addison. Please. You and Derek lived in this house for 3 years. This was your first home with him."

"Ya, I know," Addison looked down at her hands and resumed kicking her heels against the cupboard, "But things are different now."

Derek entered the kitchen, purposely ignoring Addison and honestly not noticing Andrea. He reached for the cabinet directly behind Addison, forcing her to lean out of the way to he could open it.

"I don't know what Kathleen was thinking," Andi turned to Addison, "I don't know how to make a casserole. Do you know how to make a casserole?"

Derek was just closing the door when he realized that he should get a glass for Meredith too.

But Addison didn't realize that he was going to open the door again, and she was already starting to straighten up.

The door hit her on the forehead –– hard –– her milk slide from her hand and crashed to the the floor.

She wavered unsteadily for a moment, and started to slide –– stunned –– off the counter.

"Oh God, Addison," Derek moved to help her from the counter, "I'm sorry."

Addison slowly brought her hand up to her forehead, "You did that," she paused, her brow wrinkling in confusion, "on purpose..."

"Addison look at me," Derek instructed. He didn't like how she responded. She wasn't angry, she wasn't throwing things at him or hitting him, she was being completely passive.

Addison slowly brought her head up and looked him in the eye. Or tried too. She wasn't quite able to focus on him.

"Damn it," Derek groaned under his breath, "Come sit down."

Addison didn't move, just looked around the room slowly.

"Addison?" he asked gently, "Come sit over here at the table, okay." He gently took hold of her hand and directed her towards the table, a steadying hand on her waist, "Andi, can you get us some frozen peas and a towel?"

Meredith tentatively entered the kitchen, "What's going on?" she questioned, watching Derek situate Addison in a chair.

"Addison hit her head," Derek stared hard at Addison's eyes, "Add? Do you know where you are?"

Addison's eye's flitted around the room, her brow furrowed, "Our house…" she said uncertainly, "… but…" her eyes landed on Meredith and they cleared a bit. She shook her head hard, "I'm fine Derek. I know where I am."

XXXX

Addison rested her hand on the back of her chair, she and Andrea had been filling water glasses and hadn't moved from their spots since they emptied the water jugs. They were talking about diaper rash.

Derek nudged her arm as he set his casserole dish on the table. "How's your head?" He smiled at her as he stole a green bean and mirrored her stance gripping his chair.

"Bruised. Thanks," Addison shot him a stern look but gave him small smile before turning back to Andi, "Try a different ointment I guess. Or let her crawl around without her diaper on."

"And who's going to clean up after that mess?" Andi sighed, "We haven't even sat down yet and my kids have both knocked over their milk."

Addison chuckled, she glanced down the table to the end with all the kids surrounded by Catherine and Kathleen. Everyone was standing at their places talking softly to the family around them, parents wrestling cutlery away from toddlers. All except Meredith –– she seemed lost and slightly out of place.

Addison glanced at Derek, their eyes locking for a fraction of a second. Everyone had taken their usual seats, Addison next to Derek, leaving no place for Meredith. No one seemed to notice except Catherine and Kathleen, Kathleen was watching with amusement while Catherine cleared another spot amongst the children.

Addison inhaled deeply and grinned at Andi, masking her discomfort, "I'll go sit with the kids then, someone needs to make sure some of that milk gets into their mouths instead of just on the tablecloth." She stepped away from her old seat and moved around the table deliberately avoiding Meredith. "Hey Madeleine," she greeted scooping up the pudgy 3 year old, "Can I sit with you?" she asked as she balanced the toddler on her hip.

Her eyes met Derek's again. He winked, and she grinned, before he turned to Meredith who took her place at his side.

"Derek," Catherine said softly, "Would you say grace please," She bowed her head and everyone else followed suit.

Derek cleared his throat, "Father," he began, "Thank you for the family that you have given us. We are truly blessed. Thank you for the love that we have, that gives us the strength to get through life's difficulties. Please, Father, watch over Laura and Anna. Give their bodies strength to heal, and give their doctors the knowledge and the clarity to help them. We ask that you be with Jake's family as they struggle through this impossible time. Help Jenny. Let her know that we are here to help her. Father," Derek inhaled shakily, "We ask especially that you be with Jeremy, Ben and Anna. Help them to heal, but not to forget how much their father loves them. Watch over our family, God. Amen."

The table was silent a moment before the loud shuffle began as everyone took their seats and started dishing out the meal.

"Athy," Maddy lisped in a low whisper, "He forgot to fank God for dah food."

XXXX

"Hey," Derek padded up the stairs to the gable guest room, in his pajama's and ugly woolen socks, "What's the date?"

Addison rolled her eyes, "I don't have a concussion Derek."

"You don't know that. Humour me" he walked over to the window and peered out, "What's the … fourth letter of your middle name?"

"A."

"My birthday."

"February. 15th. Do you need a year or would you rather keep your ego inflated?"

"It's raining."

"I know," Addison gently settled a sleeping Sophie on the bed between some pillows and reclined against the headboard with a book, "And you are ruining it for me."

Derek sat in the corner rocking chair for a moment then stood again and picked up Sophie.

"Don't wake her…" Addison cringed, hands up, bracing herself for the inevitable cries.

"Hey Little One," Derek soothed as he sat on the edge of the bed, "Lean those pillows up for me Add," he leaned back against the headboard and brought his legs up to rest on the bed.

"What are you doing Derek," Addison asked gently.

"Shhhh," Derek hushed, more to Addison then the baby.

"Derek."

"You know, she's only a few months younger then Julie."

Addison nodded and put her book on the nightstand, "Turn the light off when you leave," she requested, turning on to her side. She stared out the window at the rain for a long moment –– thinking –– then drifted slowly to sleep.

XXXX

He watched her sleep.

Her back was to him, her spine curving into a lazy 'C' shape. He couldn't see, but he knew that her hand was tucked under her chin giving her a pensive look.

He continued to twist a piece of hair between his fingers, not enough to wake her up, just enough to comfort him.

He didn't react when she rolled over and he didn't drop the piece of hair, instead he focused all his attention on it.

Her eyes drifted slowly open. She stared at him wide eyed for a moment, then squeezed her eyes tightly shut and tugged the covers up over her head, "What are you doing," she demanded sleepily.

Derek stared at the lump that was Addison for a moment, then joined her, pulling the white sheet over them so they were completely cut off from the rest of the world. "Hi."

"What are you doing?" she asked again, her voice a whisper due to his nearness.

"I don't know."

"Well, could you stop?"

Derek was silent a long moment, just staring at her confused features, "I don't know," he answered softly.

She shifted deeper into the bed, getting comfortable, "Where's the baby?"

"In her crib. What were you dreaming about?"

She smiled, "Nothing. What time is it?"

"Almost 6. Just tell me."

"What about Meredith?"

"I was down there for awhile."

"You came back?"

"Richard wouldn't like it if I brought you back brain damaged," he smiled and shrugged, "And you sleep like you're dead so I fed Sophie a couple times, walked her around the house and the back porch. Sang her a few songs."

"You did the late night feedings?"

"Yeah. It was nice," he whispered. He shifted so his bent knee barely grazed hers, "We always talked about Juliet," he chuckled, "E-T-T-E or just E-T, the biggest fight we had the first 5 years we were married was over spelling."

"It would have been pretty either way."

"She would have stomped around the house in your shoe's and you wouldn't have the heart to stop her."

"Yes, I would," they both laughed quietly, "You know I would have," she grinned, pushing him away from her.

"Are you trying to push me out of bed?"

She laughed, "Yes. Get out."

They froze as a something heavy landed on the foot of the bed.

Ever so slowly Addison peered over the top of the sheet so that just her eye's were visible.

"You two," Kathleen shook her head from where she sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, "I'm not even going to get into how inappropriate this is. Seriously."

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So. 2 more chapters. I'm currently choosing between 2 endings –– one that is like a "season finale" and one that is like a "series finale". I figure that I could probably keep this story going for awhile, I have ideas, I just don't know if I have the energy. Well I do, I just don't know if you guys can put up with Addek's swirly indecisiveness much longer.

Anyway, 2 chapters, then I'm taking… 3 weeks off either way so I can write the last exams of my undergrad.

Eeeeeek.

Review. A lot.

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