I think that generally people will like this.

I think.

I could be wrong, it happens once a calender year.

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"So what did I walk in on exactly?" Kathleen asked in a hushed whisper.

Derek was fast asleep, sleeping baby cuddled to his chest, Addison had stretched out across the foot of the bed and Kathleen was laying upside down –– her feet dangerously close to her brothers face –– so that they could talk.

"This morning?" Addison whispered back, smirking at Kathleen's assumptions, "Nothing. I had just woken up, we were talking."

"Do you guys often have sleepovers?"

"I'm engaged," Addison held up her hand, flashing her ring, "I'm not interested in slumber parties with my ex-husband. Who I'm friends with, by the way. He wanted to help with the baby and fell asleep up here."

"Right," Kathleen smirked, then picked up Addison's hand to get a closer look at the ring, "Who's the guy?"

"His name is Geoffrey," Addison whispered, "He's also a doctor, but he's into sport's medicine. He works with like major league sports teams and professional athletes."

"If only you cared about that sort of thing."

"I know," Addison chuckled, "And he has two kids –– Allison and Daisy –– that he's raised on his own. They're pretty amazing. 15 –– almost 16 –– and 7."

"Wow."

"I know. He's just perfect. He's just ––" she paused, "He's so understanding. He's this big tough guy that spends all day with huge jocks, and then he comes home and he helps Daisy make cookies, and he listens to Ali complain about her boyfriends and he'll listen to whatever baby-drama is flying through my head and he just knows whether it's going to take a back-rub or a glass of wine or just time to fix it."

"You love him?"

"Crazy about him. He pretty much keeps me sane," she grinned, "I told him I was going to fly out here to be with my ex-husband and his family and he just said to let him know what was going on and that he would pray for the family," she lowered her voice even more, "He just trusts me so much. More then Derek did, you know?"

Kathleen nodded, "Derek was kind of possessive of you."

"I know. Which was fine, but I don't think he trusted me… or us, really. He just… assumed things about us and our marriage and left it up to me to make it real," she sighed, "I dunno. We were a mess from the beginning."

"What about the new girl?"

"Meredith, Kathleen, you know her name."

"Ya. What do you think about her?"

"What do you think about her?"

"I think she strokes Derek's ego and gives him a hero complex. I think that he's with her to prove a point to himself and to you and to everyone else –– that he found the love of his life in a bar one night and that it was true love and it was worth ending his marriage for. I think that she is with him because he is safe and can take care of her. I think that she sees him as a way to elevate her status as a person. I think that she is insecure and that she likes that he left his wife for her, she likes that he choose her even though she was an intern and he was the head of neurology, she likes that he has a multi-million dollar paycheck while her friends are dating guys that can barely make rent and I think that she is trying to prove to everyone that has ever heard the name Ellis Grey that she is not a screw up and that she has it all together."

Addison was pensively silent for a moment, "That's it?"

"That's my initial assessment. Of course I've never really talked to her."

Addison nodded slowly, "She loves him. She doesn't love his status in the medical field or that he makes a lot of money. She loves that he's kind and charming and loving. And she loves that he's stable, which, I think, for Meredith is a big deal; she's an only child and she didn't have much of a relationship with her parents. And he really stuck with her, it's what ruined our marriage, but he's always there for her. She's… high maintenance, but I think that Derek needs someone to take care of to a certain extent. And I don't mean that she's needy and that he's trying to fix her, I just think that when it comes to the people that he loves Derek wants to do everything that he can to … care for them, and Meredith has never had someone that sticks with her through the bad stuff, and she deserves to have that. And look at what they've been through. They lost their baby. They were devastated, Kat," Addison shrugged, "I don't know, maybe you are right about them. But Derek grew up too fast, he worked hard to get through school and start his career while taking care of you guys. He," she rolled her eyes, " married too young. So is it really so wrong that he's revisiting his youth a bit with her? He never really got it the first time around."

Kathleen turned her head and stared at her, "That was a very moving speech Addison."

"Well, I like Meredith."

"Fine. Like her. Do you really want her with Derek?"

Addison shot Kathleen a look and rolled over on to her back, "I love this room."

"I forgot that you and Derek turned this into your master bedroom until I walked in to see you two canoodling. Nice change of topic by the way."

"We weren't canoodling. And why do you think this bathroom has the 5 star-bathroom? All me baby."

"Girls," Catherine hissed from the doorway, "Get up. It's past 8. We have things to do. Kathleen, get back to your own house, you have guests," she motioned for them to move and turned on her heel and left.

"What about Derek?" Kathleen called after her mother, but getting no response. "Stupid boys," she righted herself in the bed and snuggled into the blankets one more time, "I guess I should go home and find breakfast for everyone," she glanced at Addison, "You guys are coming over later right? Before the funeral to help me get things set up?"

Addison nodded, "As soon as I get cleaned up I'll walk over."

"Good," Kathleen kicked the blankets off and pushed herself off the mattress, "Bed creaks."

"Didn't when Derek and I moved in," Addison smirked, "It did when we moved out."

XXXX

"Morning Meredith," Addison grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and kicked it closed with her foot, "Nice day," she observed, temporarily abandoning her juice in order to twist her wet hair into a ponytail and roll down the waist band of her sweats a little more.

"Have you seen Derek?"

"Umm," Addison hesitated, buying time by reaching for a glass, "He's upstairs with the baby. Kathleen came over early this morning and we were talking and he ended up falling asleep up there."

"He's in your room?" Meredith's tone hardened.

"Yes," Addison kept her tone even and tried to respond nonchalantly, "If you wouldn't mind, could you get him out? I'm trying to get ready for the day and he's in my way."

Meredith studied her for a moment.

Addison tensed and concentrated on putting her toast in the toaster and not behaving guiltily or in anyway suspiciously. Not, she reminded herself, that she had done anything wrong.

Meredith nodded, "I'll get him once Andi gets out of the shower. I'm watching her kids." She nodded to the toddlers sitting in a playpen eating dry cheerios.

"I'll watch them," Addison offered, staring into the toaster, "And use the upstairs shower, it's better then waiting for the one down here."

"Sure, if you want," Meredith stood and moved towards the door, "Thanks Addison," she said sincerely as she left.

"Don't thank me until you've experienced that water pressure," Addison said lightly.

Addison listened to Meredith open and close the door to the room where she and Derek were staying, and expelled a lung full of air. Her toast popped, she glanced at the babies quickly then concentrated on evenly spreading the jam.

"Good morning Addison," Catherine stiffly greeted her as she stepped into the kitchen.

"Morning," Addison replied, unsure as to whether or not she should add 'Mom', Catherine seemed not-herself.

"Did you sleep well?" Catherine asked, pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Ya," Addison nodded, carrying her juice and toast over to the table, "Very well."

"What time did Kathleen come over?" Catherine pushed.

"Around 6, maybe?" Addison replied awkwardly, "Derek was up with Sophie so we just started talking."

"In your bed?"

Addison didn't reply, just tore the crusts off her toast.

"Can I be frank with you Addison?" Catherine asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I ––" Addison paused, "Sorry," she apologized, unable to think of anything else to say.

Catherine sat down across from her, "We are just… surprised… that you would fly across the country to hold vigil with your ex-husbands family."

"Catherine, we divorced each other not the family. This is still my family too, I still love everyone in it. Derek asked me to come and I wanted to be here."

"He asked you to come?"

Addison nodded, "He paged me as soon as Kathleen called him about the accident and he called me every time you got an update on Anna or Laura. When they told you that Anna had to have the surgery on her spine Derek got me a ticket on the next flight out here."

"This isn't my place, Addison, but are you and my son … involved?"

"No!" Addison exclaimed, a bit to fast, but still surprised at the accusation, "No. We aren't… we are just… we're friends. We're still close, but we're not… close-close. Like that…" she blushed, her stomach suddenly clenching painfully.

Catherine nodded, and smiled, "I'm sorry I asked you that, Addison, it wasn't… I suppose that the rest of us aren't used to seeing you two together, but not together."

Addison smiled weakly, "I don't know if I'm completely used to it either."

XXXX

Meredith stepped out of shower, her body sagged, the stress from the last few days magically washed away by the best damn shower she had ever had. She melted into her robe and leaned against the counter willing her limbs to find the strength to tie the sash. She wiped the steam from the mirror and watched the droplets of water drip down the glass for a moment before picking up her brush and starting to comb out the tangles.

She felt whole today. She felt like herself in a way that she hadn't felt in a long time. She woke up in the morning, and even though she knew it was going to be sad and hard and painful, she knew that it was something that she could handle. She finally felt like part of Derek's family, no longer the newbie, but an accepted member of the clan.

She studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked like herself again. Like herself before she had Julie and fell apart. She'd cut her hair, lightened it, highlighted it, she was tanned, lean from the yoga that had quieted the voices blaming her for everything that went wrong with her foray into parenting.

Steeling herself, but feeling confident, she loosened the sash on the robe and slipped it off her shoulders. She examined her body in the mirror. Her figure was a bit fuller, but not enough that she wasn't still painfully skinny, her breasts didn't look as full as they did when she was pregnant –– they actually seemed a little flatter and her nipples were darker; her hips seemed a little wider she had a few stretch marks that were still a little pink, her tummy was softer and the scar from her c-section was still glaringly bright.

She gently traced her finger across the scar, she had avoided looking at it or touching it since Julie had died. But now, starting today, she kinda liked it.

She smiled at her reflection and slipped her robe back on, cinching it tight. She left the bathroom, the cool hair hitting her full on the face and making her feel instantly refreshed.

Derek was still asleep on the bed when she came out. Sophie was now awake, staring wide eyed around the room.

"Hello baby girl," she cooed softly lifting the baby off Derek's chest and kissing her cheek, "Aren't you a happy girl this morning." Meredith moved over to the window, the baby thumped at her chest and stared at her trustingly. Meredith held her, swaying back and forth, ignoring the tears that stung the corner of her eyes then spilled over her cheeks.

"Meredith," Derek spoke softly placing a hand on her back and a hand on the baby's back.

"I'm okay," she assured him before he could ask, "I'm really okay."

"You sure?"

"Ya. What is it that Dr. Channing called it, healing tears?" she smiled, "I'm okay."

"Okay," he kissed her cheek, "I'm going to shower. You're sure…"

She nodded, "As soon as we're ready Andi and I are taking all the babies to the big house and then running some errands for Kathleen, so if I'm not here when you get out I'll see you over at Kathleen's?"

He nodded, "Okay," he bent his head and kissed her lightly on the lips, "You look beautiful," he said quietly, his eyes roaming over her holding the baby, "You're glowing."

She smiled, "Thank you."

XXXX

"Morning Mom," Derek finished pouring his coffee and kissed his mother before turning his attention to his cufflinks, "I just got off the phone with the hospital. Anna was moving her fingers this morning, if everything goes well with her surgery tomorrow she should regain complete use of the upper half of her body, so overall she's doing much better, the doctors aren't foreseeing anymore complications. And they are going to release Laura this morning provided that she has a someone stay with her at the house since her leg's in a toe to hip cast and both her wrists are… how do these things work?" he held up his cufflinks in confusion.

"Let me do that Sweetie," she straightened the sleeves on his crisp white shirt and expertly did his cuffs.

"Meredith already leave?"

"She did," Catherine straightened his tie, "Addison's still upstairs though."

Derek nodded and took a drink of his coffee.

"What are you doing with her Derek?"

"She's family Ma," Derek shook his head and stepped away.

"Derek," Catherine followed him, "You know I love Addison, I do, but Derek you can't just… were you thinking about Meredith at all?"

"Meredith is fine," Derek declared, "I was thinking about Laura and Anna. I was thinking that Anna would like to see her aunt –– you know how close they are. And ya, I was thinking about Addison, this is her family, too."

"No, Derek," Catherine shook her head, "You were thinking about yourself. You wanted Addison here because she makes you feel better, you are used to having her around when things go bad, and you're scared and want something familiar."

"Mom––"

"It is who you are Derek, you don't like change you never have. And I know that you have been through a lot, but so has Meredith. You need to turn to Meredith more and stop relying on Addison, if for no other reason then to let her move on. She's getting married Derek. But if you keep turning to her, she'll keep being there. That's just who she is."

"It's not ––"

"Derek I know things are hard with Meredith right now, and you have both had a hard time loosing Julie; but you are going to get past it. You'll get married, have a family, have the things that you have always wanted –– you haven't lost everything. Derek, honey, she is the mother of your child, she will always be Julie's mother. Turn to her, you need each other."

They fell silent as Addison walked in the kitchen, dressed for the funeral but carrying her shoes and cardigan in her hand. She glanced between the two of them and took a step back.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I'm going to walk over to Kathleen's now. I'll just… go."

"I'll walk with you," Derek offered, ignoring the look he was getting from his mother.

"You don't have to do that," she assured him, avoiding Catherine's eye.

"No," Derek said firmly, lifting his jacket from the back of a chair," I'll walk with you."

XXXX

"She is not happy with me," Addison sighed as soon as they were out of sight of the house, hidden by the trees as they meandered down the path that led from the little house to the big house.

"No, it's me. She made it very clear that she loves you."

"She made it clear that she doesn't think I should be here," Addison revealed dejectedly, still hurt by Catherine's sentiments.

"Do you want to be here?"

She glanced at him in surprise, "Of course."

"Then you should be here. I don't care what she thinks."

"Are you sure?"

"She just doesn't understand."

"Understand what?" she asked softly, slowing her steps a bit.

"Us," he replied just as softly.

"Oh."

They walk silently for a moment –– the air is warm, heavy and still around them –– and they relax and revel in the fact that they are completely alone. His hand grazes her spine lightly and in the same motion she turns towards him, the tips of her fingers brushing his jaw in the second before their lips gently touch. It's not a kiss, their lips barely caress each other as they breath in each others hot breath through barely parted lips. She nuzzles her nose against his as his thumb traces a line down her neck; then he tilts his head and kisses her.

Their bodies softly press into each other as their kiss evolves from innocent to sweet and tender. It doesn't stop, just changes again, from one continuous kiss to soft lingering ones that melt into each other. A soft breeze teases their clothing and the ends of their hair, but they are oblivious to everything but the realization of their previously denied yearnings.

"Mmm," she sighs, tilting her lips away from him and touching them daintily with her fingertips.

They don't move away from each other, if possible they lean closer to make up for the loss of contact between their lips.

"So we're back to this," Addison whispered softly, the corners of her mouth gently turning upwards as she delicately tugged at the front of his dress shirt.

"I guess so," he agreed, one hand lightly tracing the small of her back through the silk of her camisole, the thumb of his other hand smoothing over the inside of her elbow.

"Okay," she agreed with a nod, tilting her lips back to him.

"Okay."

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One more chapter!

Is everyone ready?? I know I am. I'm excited. It might take me awhile to get it up cause like… school is kicking my ass (or it will be) but I think I should be able to get it up by checks calender next Wednesday or Thursday which is like… 10 days or so, thats not to bad. You'll live.

I'm so excited.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Like hello, now there is Addek kissing. THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF.

Review so I don't forget to write.