You know...it's very hard to write a chapter while there are lots of Breaking Dawn new stills right now. The stills are beautiful ^^

And the new trailer soon...extra energy to write a chapter...LOL

Chapter 23

Our Talk

After spending my weekend in Chicago, it was time to go back to Massachusetts and returned to Our Hearts. I only had one more week in this place before my volunteer service ended on the end of the week. Not only that, I also had to make decision about my relationship with Edward. Either it was good or bad, but he was still my subject and in professional field this was highly unprofessional.

I didn't know much about what happened after my breakdown. I hadn't had time to ask Edward, but I knew we need to talk soon. Esme's word also rang on my mind. She was right. We both loved each other and we needed to find a way to settle this issue.

Edward was quiet during our flight. He looked calmer and much peaceful. I did hope Our Hearts will also release him in the end of the program. After we landed, we rode a cab back to Our Hearts while the day just turned into warm afternoon. I smiled slightly when I saw the familiar building and my red Chevy truck.

Home sweet home.

The building was not very loud and I must admit this was my first time coming to this place on weekend. I was sure there were no other volunteers and the kids had their free time.

"Do you want to come inside for a moment?" Edward asked me. This was the first time he spoke since in the cab back in Chicago.

I smiled and nodded.

He smiled back and gingerly took my hand before we walked inside the building. It was a little bit quite when we walked on the main building and I saw Kate's office was opened slightly. I followed Edward passed through the doors until I heard someone called my name.

"Bella? Is that you?"

We both stopped and turned around to see Kate stood in front of her office. She smiled slightly and nodded to Edward. "Hello, Edward. It's nice to have you here again."

Edward nodded and Kate turned to me. "Um...Bella, can I talk to you?"

I bit my lip and looked over at Edward. He stared at my eyes and kissed the top of my head lightly. "I'll wait for you in my room," he said softly.

I blushed and nodded. He squeezed my hand gently and released his hold on my hand. Without another word, he climbed up the stairs and I looked back at Kate.

She smiled tightly and I took a deep breath before walked in into her office. Kate sat on her couch when I got in. I dropped my bag on the floor and sat next to her.

"Do you need anything? Maybe a drink?"

I shook my head. "No, thank you."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and tapped her fingers on the couch.

I raised my eyebrows. "Are you alright? You seem...nervous."

Kate chuckled and sighed. "I just...I don't know how to say this."

I scooted closer to her. It was a sign for her she could continue her story without fearing me intimidated her. "Go on," I said slowly.

She sighed again and stared off to the window before she looked at me and smiled. "How's your weekend?"

I blinked. "Uh...it's good. But, we're not talking about me here."

Kate laughed shakily. "I can't fool you, can I?"

I smiled. "I've been through worse." I gingerly touched her shoulder. "What is it, Kate?"

She swallowed and looked at me. "Have you heard the story about me and Garrett?"

I took a deep breath. "If I said no, that would be a lie. I've spent so much time in this place and yes, I heard something about both of you."

Her eyes turned tight. "And...how much did you hear?"

I shrugged. "Not much. Only you were both once stayed here, but under what kind of circumstances, I still don't know until now." I smiled at her. "It's better to know it from the person itself."

Kate smiled back. "You will become a great Psychologist someday, Bella."

I laughed lightly. "Again, we're not talking about me."

"Oh yeah, right...I'm sorry." She took a deep breath. "Well, Garrett and I...we both stayed here because we both nearly die from drugs."

Oh.

She nervously played with her hands. "We both passed the rehabilitation step and came to Our Hearts for...well, you know."

I smiled warmly, encouraging her to continue.

"We survived and fell in love. We both continued our college and when we graduated he proposed to me. It was beautiful," Kate continued. Her eyes turned glossy. "We had a fight recently because Garrett will continue to college in our hometown where we both nearly dying from drugs. I know some of his friends are still using them. I'm afraid about Garrett."

Kate raised her head and looked at me. "When I saw you with Edward, it reminded me to the time when Garrett and I were happy. He took you to his hometown and shows you his life...and you both return still together. You don't feel scared at all?"

Well...that was a good question.

I took a deep breath and leaned on the couch. "I was scared," I admitted. "But, I had to. There was no other way for me to know about Edward's life outside this place."

"Don't you feel scared he will return to his old self?"

My lips twitched. "Which one? If his old self is the one in Chicago before he came into Our Hearts, I'm not scared at all." I sighed. "And, if it's the other way around, I won't be here with him now."

Kate's eyes widened and I smiled again.

"I understand your fear, Kate. But, sometimes we have to let them deal with their past. If they love us, they will find a way to deal with it," I said to her and shivered slightly when I remember Edward's words that night.

I promise I will be a good man for you. I've...I've never wanted to feel worthy for anyone before, but since I met you I want to be worthy for your love and mostly I want to be worthy for you to be your man.

And now I knew Edward already found the way to back to his old self. He said he's doing this for me, but the truth is he's also doing this for himself.

Kate nodded slowly.

"I'm sure Garrett knows this too. You have to trust him and maybe talk to him about your reason why you don't let him back to your hometown," I added again. Somehow it was easier to talk about this with other people rather than do this to myself.

"Yeah," Kate said softly. And then, she smiled. "Thank you, Bella."

I smiled back and squeezed her hand gently. "You're welcome, Kate. I hope you both find a way to settle this."

She nodded again.

"Anything you want to share with me?" I asked her.

Kate shook her head gently. "No, thank you. I'm sorry if I keeping you here. I'm sure Edward can't wait to see you."

I blushed slightly.

Kate held my hand. "I hope you both could work out...for the relationship, I mean."

I chuckled. "Thanks, Kate."

I rose from the couch and grabbed my bag. Kate hugged me tenderly. "Good luck, Bella."

I smiled. "Thank you. And thank you for telling me your story, Kate."

She leaned away from her embrace and nodded with glossy eyes.

I walked out from Kate's office and climbed up the stairs. This was the time when Edward and I needed our talk.

I heard the soft sounds of guitar been playing when I opened Edward's door. He was sitting on his chair and looking out over the window. I put my bag on the floor and sat on his bed. He stopped playing and put his guitar back on its place.

"Don't stop," I said softly.

He turned around and rose from his chair, sitting next to me. He smiled. "I can play whenever I can, but having you here is a rare opportunity."

I could feel my cheeks were getting warm. Even though I already met his family and spent time with him privately, I still felt shy when I was around him. Maybe because I was not used to be around a man before.

Edward stroked my cheek gently. "Are you ok? Did Kate give you a hard time?"

I leaned to his hand and took a deep breath. "I'm fine. No, she didn't give me a hard time. She just told me her story."

He nodded. "I see. But, I'm sure she must have been talked to you about us."

I held his hand and lowered it gently to my lap. For someone who has anger issue, Edward was still perceptive. "Not talk. Bring it up is the best word."

Edward sighed and looked back to the window. "I'm sure she did. I could understand her worries. You're special to her. She just wants to protect you." He bowed his head. "From me."

I frowned. Where was Edward who full with confident back in Chicago? Why suddenly he felt he's not worthy for someone again?

I took a deep breath. "Do you remember what you said to me the last night I stay in Chicago?"

He turned his head and looked at my eyes. "You can lean on me and I will always catch you," he whispered.

I smiled. I remember that, but that was not I was referring to. "Yes, I know. But, it's not that."

Edward looked at me curiously. I bit my bottom lip. Seeing him so vulnerable like this made me want to hug him and protect him. My heart turned erratic when a new desire to hold him consumes my mind. But, I wanted to touch him and hold him. Slowly, I rose on my knee and scooted closer to him. Edward blinked several times and I could see his breathing was also turned erratic. I gingerly wrapped my arms on his neck while he was looking at me with adoring gaze. I leaned my forehead to his.

"I was not sleeping that night. I heard everything, Edward. I want you to feel worthy for me," I whispered.

Edward's eyes widened. He blushed slightly, but then he smiled. "You're not sleeping, huh?"

I chuckled. "No. How could I fall asleep when I feel you so close to me?"

He smirked and wrapped his arms on my waist. His sweet scent made me dizzy and my heartbeat turned wild. This was the first time we both were so close.

"So, is this mean you giving me a chance?" he asked me. His eyes twinkled brightly.

I smiled back. "As long as you never feel you're not worthy for me."

Edward laughed lightly. "Fair enough. If that was your condition, I could deal with that." And then, he took deep breaths and looked at me softly. "May I know...why the change?"

I stroked his hair and amazed on how it felt so soft between my fingertips. He closed his eyes when I played with the strands of his hair.

"Kate spoke with me earlier and told me about her and Garrett. Do you know her story?"

He opened his eyes and shrugged. "Yeah, it's not a secret in this place. So, what happened?"

"She told me about her fears. She's afraid about Garrett's decision to return to their hometown. She knows their old friends still use...you know..."

Edward nodded.

I sighed. "I told her that she has to trust Garrett. He will find a way to deal with his past."

He took a deep breath. "You were referring to me, right?"

I smiled softly and poked his nose. He grinned and I laughed lightly. "Of course I did. Who else?"

Edward chuckled lightly.

"You are a good example for Kate to trust Garrett." I stroked his cheek again. "I trust you," I said softly.

He smiled brightly. "Seriously, Bella. You said those words and it reminded me to Titanic."

I laughed. "Should I re-phrase?"

"Nah. I like your version better."

I laughed again.

Edward smiled and kissed me softly. Just a peck and he kissed my cheek. "Thank you for giving me a chance. It means a lot to me."

I blushed and nodded. But, that was not the only thing I wanted to talk about. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "What about your family?" And Tanya, I added mentally.

He took a deep breath. "It will take some times to make my family turns to normal again, but I'm sure they can do it. I have my own things to take care of."

I bit my bottom lip. "And Tanya?"

He shrugged. "I don't really care about her. It will be not a surprise if she already found a man to warm her bed. She just interested on me for my family's wealth. Even if my dad forced me to be with her, there's no way in hell I'll ended up with her."

"You seem so sure."

He pursed his lips. "Like I said, I don't care about her." And then, he leaned closer to my face. "I have someone who is more worth."

I blushed again.

Edward stroked my cheek. "I know the long distance is still the main issue apart of me being here, but I want to tell you something, Bella." His eyes turned serious. "I never thought about the distance. I don't care about the distance. I've been through worse. And now I find someone I want to be with. I will never let her go."

His voice left no room for argue and I know it better that he was serious. I could only nod slightly and then his eyes turned soft. He leaned closer again and his lips ghosted over mine. I felt myself getting weaker.

"May I kiss my girlfriend now?"

Girlfriend.

A new word for me.

But, I wanted to try it with Edward.

Not for his recovery process.

It's more for myself.

I smiled and wrapped my arms tighter on his neck. "Yes, you may."

He smirked before our lips met and for the first time in my life I felt happy.

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