A/N: Here's chapter 4. Bold fixed. It was hurting my eyes.

Who else but me!

I'm so so so in love. It's so selfish and I mustn't because I'm breaking all my rules, but I love him so much. When I'm with him, rules, responsibility and Jake just go flying out the window. I've never wanted to be with someone so much. I know he loves me back. We've never openly discussed it for fear of being discovered, but some things are so… obvious that they don't even need to be said.

He's like a drug to me- I'm addicted and there's no way in hell that I can stop. Not for Jake, not for anyone. But when the high wears off and he's gone, all the guilt comes rushing back. Every time he kisses me, it's like tasting a piece of heaven all the way down here in hell.

I'm meant for Jake, not him.

I sound like a blabbering school girl, so I'm going to shut up now.

… Yeah.

Anyway, it was a sunny day today, so none of us went to school. They tried to make me go when it first happened, but they gave up. Fear the power of the Nessie puppy-dog eyes! (Patented, naturally) Jake took me out to do more exploring (We didn't really get the chance. This place is way too overcast.) and for some… alone time.

We ran (he in wolf form, me just being me) for about ten minutes before stopping for a moment. Then he blindfolded me.

Yes, he blindfolded me. I hate feeling vulnerable, but I went through with it anyway without moaning. Part of my campaign to be a less whiny little imprint. Or at the very least, be a better best friend.

Then he led me to somewhere and when he took the blindfold off… It was perfect. There is no other word to describe it. The sun shining down through the trees on the sea of bluebells, the towering old oak trees…

Two words came to mind: Enchanted wood.

I felt like I was tainting it when I waded through the beautiful flowers. This place was meant for love and perfectness, but me? I wasn't in love, and I wasn't perfect. I felt so, so bad. Jake must have spent hours searching for this place, and while he was gone, I had spent hours with my vampire. (And so much happier for it.)

I'm a traitor.

He led me to a patch of grass left untouched by the bluebells and we sat down, just staring at the canopy of the trees. We just sat there. Him staring at me, me staring at the flowers.

And then he broke the silence, and said something along the lines of "Ness, you've been so distant lately…"

I didn't really mean to but I started panicking. And I was pretty sure he heard my heartbeat increasing, 'cause he grabbed my hand. It felt weird, like he was too anxious and hurried. I didn't really know what to say so I pretty much just replied with an "I'm so confused about you and me."

It was completely true, but it was about the dumbest thing I could have said in that situation, 'cause he started smiling and talking about stuff I didn't want to hear or remember. Then, he started talking about imprinting which made it even worse. I'll just type down a little list of it.

Feelings of being an imprinter

It's like your life doesn't matter, it only revolves around one single person: the imprinted.
There is nothing else worth living for except the imprintee.
Tied together forever
Would kill anyone who came near the imprintee with less than honourable intentions (crap)
Died inside when imprintee cried.
Is willing to do anything for the imprintee (even leave me…?)

To sum it all up: I realise I'm in deeeeeep trouble. What is wrong with my heart? What is wrong with me? I'm like this freak of nature who can't love the person that's perfect, like, the one who should be the other half of my soul! But it isn't him.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry Jake. What have I done? Jake has no choice but to love me, but I can choose. And my heart has chosen (my brain had no say, or it would've been him) and well…

My love life is seriously screwed up.

Rule 5: Love the imprinter. Love the imprinter. Love the-

I can't go on like this, playing with Jake like this.

…

AN-Y-WAY.

DISREGARDING THE EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN I HAVE UP THERE, LET'S TALK ABOUT NORMAL STUFF.

Like blood ice cream.

Oh yeah, continuing from the blindfolding-paradise place, he took me back when the sun was setting. I was pretty cut up inside and I think he noticed it, 'cause he nudged me with his nose (wolf form RULES!) and puppy dog eye-d me.

Adorable hysteria ensues.

When I got back, Mom had another talk with me. NO, not the perverted The (with a capital T) Talk, but equally as serious and less embarrassing.

I'm just going to type down what my handy-dandy forget-nothing brain remembers. (Every word)

'Nessie, I'm very happy that Jake showed you that place.' I was wondering how the heck she knew about it when she continued. 'Jake discussed everything with your father and I,' because Dad is such a control freak (… oops!) 'and it's so much like our meadow…'

I was pretty much tuning her out at that time, but I managed to get the general gist: Jake is lovely and I must get together with him. I just kept nodding. What the heck was I supposed to say? Sorry mom, but I'm in love with another guy that just so happens to be a vampire that all of you don't like very much. In fact, you might just disown me... No, just no. That'd be suicidal.

Jake isn't forcing me to love him, but with Momma and Dad and Aunt Alice and even my conscience on my case, it's not going to be long before I resign myself to living a lie.