AN: Last chapter. (Well, almost. There might be a little "post-credits" chapter after that...that might possibly tie into "Kismet," wink wink, nudge nudge.)

Also, something I forgot a few chapters back: credit goes to cloudlake for the fluffy bunny idea—she (she, right?) mentioned it in passing in response to one of my responses to her reviews (RESPONSE-CEPTION! BWAHHHHHHM BWHAAAAAAAHHHM) and it was too funny to pass up.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Darcy and Loki returned to Asgard uneventfully, but were surprised to find on their arrival that Jane and Thor had not yet returned from Earth. Darcy tried to persuade Loki to bring her back to Earth to search for them, but he would have none of it. After several minutes of arguing (and numerous attempts at unfair persuasion by both parties) Darcy resigned herself to stay on Asgard until she had healed from the wounds suffered at Sigyn's hands. But the whole debate was quickly rendered meaningless, for within moments of Darcy's surrender and subsequent lying down to rest on one of the infirmary cots, a portal opened up on the front steps of the palace, bringing with it Thor and Jane looking decidedly exhausted.

Before Loki could stop her, Darcy had sprinted out of bed to greet them. She passed out in the corridor barely a hundred feet from the infirmary exit. Once he had carried her back to the cot, Loki went to get Thor and Jane himself and told them in no uncertain terms to get to the infirmary as fast as they could before Darcy nagged him to death.

When they arrived in the room, it was nearly five minutes before any actual conversation took place, what with the squealing and repeated statements of gratitude that everyone else in the room was still alive. But once they began talking, Darcy became unusually quiet, and answered Jane's questions about her time in Medea's lair with uncharacteristic brevity—not because she was uncomfortable talking about it, but because she had already lived it once and wanted to hear instead what had happened to Jane and Thor. Loki took the hint and pointedly asked Jane to tell her side of the story.

At this, Jane's face visibly lit up.

"Darcy," she said, smiling broadly, "you're not going to believe this…"

Darcy froze. "Oh no…"

"No, no, this is a good surprise." She rolled her lips together, scarcely able to suppress her obvious excitement so she could speak without laughing. "SHIELD offered me a job as head astrophysicist of the organization. They're going to let me do research with them, access top secret information, on every single crash site, every single wormhole, every single everything to do with space from now on." She bounced on Darcy's bed excitedly. "And guess who my second-in-command is."

"You mean—" Darcy grinned.

Jane nodded. "Erik. He's already working on a new crater site, actually. In Kazakhstan. I'm joining him on Monday."

"That's awesome! Can I come along? I haven't seen him in forever."

Jane's face fell. "Oh…um…"

Darcy gaped for a moment in surprise, and then closed her mouth with a start. "Oh, wait. Top secret."

"I'm sorry," Jane said, frowning. "Your internship was with me and Erik, not with SHIELD. I would've asked, but I didn't think you'd be interested, since you're, you know, political science, not…"

Darcy waved a hand at her. "Eh, it's fine. The whole space-physics thing kind of went over my head, anyway." She narrowed her eyes. "Although, now that you mention it…getting a job on Earth doesn't sound too bad." She grimaced. "I'd have to file the paperwork for those six credits, though. And go to law school."

"That's negotiable." Darcy raised an eyebrow at Loki curiously. He shrugged innocently. "I might be able to pull a few magical strings, let you skip the law school part, get you a license to practice…"

"You are absolutely despicable."

"I try."

Darcy rolled her eyes and flopped her head over to face Thor. "So, what'd you get up to?"

"Oh, you know…Met Tony Stark and Steve Rogers—who I am informed also go by Iron Man and Captain America—joined forces with them, saved the world…"

"The usual, then?" Loki said dryly. Darcy elbowed him lightly.

"Shut up, I want to hear what happened." She sat up in her cot, her eyes bright like a kid in a candy shop. "You met Tony Stark?" Thor nodded. Darcy whistled quietly. "That is so cool. So what did you guys do once you 'joined forces?' Stop speeding trains? Save babies from being crushed by giant robots?"

"Actually, we went to California."

"You what?"

"We went to California." He hesitated. "Northern California, I should say. Stark wanted to go to Los Angeles to, I believe his exact words were, 'hit the beach,' although I have no idea why he would want to fight a geographical feature…He also said something about bikinis, which I can only assume is something in a foreign language." Jane and Darcy exchanged a grin, but said nothing. Loki opened his mouth to speak, but Darcy shook her head.

Later, she mouthed. He nodded.

Thor continued, oblivious to the silent conversation. "In any case, we went to Northern California to the headquarters of the face book."

"Shut up!" Darcy squealed. "Shut up, you did not go to Facebook headquarters!" She leaned forward, grinning. "That is so freaking cool! Did you get to meet Mark Zuckerberg? Was he cute?" Loki sputtered. "Kidding," she said defensively, "Just kidding. Seriously, though, what the hell were you guys doing at Facebook?"

"The Apple was located there," Thor said. "I must confess, I have no idea why the Apple was there, or how this internet business works—Stark tried to explain it on the plane, but he got sidetracked and had to tell me what computers were. Regardless, the Apple was there, and we found it. We had to fight through some very angry cooks to get to it, and Rogers had to keep Stark from harassing some of the younger women—twice—but we got it."

"Oh," Darcy frowned. "What took you so long, then?"

"Once the Apple was gone, I still had to clean up a couple of hostage situations that continued longer than they should have," Jane said.

"And the Apple had to be disposed of," said Thor.

"Disposed of?" Loki repeated. "You mean to say you destroyed it?"

"No. We merely moved it somewhere far away, somewhere without people."

"Antarctica?" Darcy suggested. Thor began to answer, but she burst out talking again. "No, wait, then the penguins would all kill each other, and that would be sad, because penguins are cute. Where did you put the Apple?"

"Heimdall opened a portal, and we threw the Apple through it. It was a portal to the planet Pluto."

"Dwarf planet," Jane corrected automatically. Thor glanced at her. She bit her thumbnail absently. "Pluto's not a planet."

"It is so!" said Darcy.

"No, it isn't. It was reclassified as a dwarf planet years ago."

They argued back and forth for a very long time over whether or not Pluto was, in fact, a planet. They eventually came to two separate conclusions: Jane, that Darcy was irrational and incredibly childish sometimes; Darcy, that Pluto was a planet, dammit, and that nothing Jane said could convince her of such sorcerers' ways.

In the midst of this conversation, Thor and Loki slipped away unnoticed. They had important matters to discuss…and events to plan and set in motion.

"Loki Odinson, do you take Darcy Lewis to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Do you, Darcy Lewis, take Loki Odinson to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Then I pronounce you husband and wife; Loki, god of mischief, trickery, lies, deceit, thieves, lawyers, politicians, and all those who make a living by their cunning; and Darcy, goddess of luck, chance, coincidence, improvisation, skillful evasion, and sudden changes in fate."

"And fluffy bunnies," Loki whispered out of the corner of his mouth, smirking. Darcy nudged him in the side, but he just grinned more widely and held her hand even tighter. He tried with some difficulty not to laugh as Darcy rolled her eyes at him.

Odin looked up from the book, either oblivious to their exchange or choosing deliberately to ignore it. "You may now kiss the bride."

Loki pushed back Darcy's veil hastily and leaned in, closing his eyes. Suddenly, he heard a popping sound and a strange sensation filled him, as though his veins were filled with bubbles floating about beneath his skin. He opened his eyes warily, lips still puckered awkwardly. His eyes widened.

He had no idea where he was. He was staring at something large and white that looked as though it were covered in satin—but it was not all the same material. Out of the satiny material came something cream-colored and slightly less smooth. His heart stopped. Oh no… He craned his neck and looked up…and up, and up, and up as far as he could see.

The entire congregation roared with laughter at the sight of the tiny, black bunny on the floor next to the bride's feet, its floppy ears twitching about and its big, round eyes darting all over the room in a panic.

Darcy giggled and stooped over to pick the bunny up. It fit comfortably in the palms of her two hands, a tiny little ball of shivering, silky black fur with green eyes that almost seemed to scowl at her. She closed her eyes and kissed it lightly on the nose.

With a second pop, much louder than the first, Darcy found herself all at once kissing her new husband, restored to his humanoid form, with all traces of a bunny-scowl erased from his face as they joyfully kissed.

Loki raised an eyebrow as they broke apart. "You realize, of course, that I am obliged as the god of mischief to get you back for that someday?"

"Do your worst."

AN: Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.

To answer a few queries I've received regarding the next story...yes, it will feature more of Jane and Thor than this story did. Much more. Yes, it will be longer than this story; it may even be longer than Mendacity-the scope of this story is pretty big. Yes, we will be seeing more of the Avengers. The rest of the questions I received come too close to revealing plot points for me to answer them honestly.