Title: Tangled Web

Author: Farrah

Disclaimer: If I owned the wonderful show Grey's Anatomy, would I be here? I think not

Summary: Meredith didn't deserve the cards she was being dealt, so she took matters into her own hands. She left, but the death of a loved one brought her back. But when she returns, she's not alone. Post 'Into You Like A Train' episode. Set six years in the future.

A/N: This chapter takes place about a month and a half after the last one. This is sad at the beginning. I'm sorry, but it needs to happen. Don't hate me. We all knew it was coming.

I experienced my first real taste of writers block after chapter 5, believe me it is no fun. This is why it took me a week to update. I knew what I wanted in this chapter, but for some reason I couldn't type it, every time I started to, I would either be pressing the delete button within a matter of seconds or just end up staring at the screen for hours.

Thank you guys for sticking with me. Thanks for all the reviews. They're wonderful.

Chapter 6:

- Rock of Ages Cemetary, WSH, Sunday, May 20, 2012 -

Mer had flown in to Seattle three days ago. It had been exactly two weeks since her mother's passing when she arrived. Mark, Jeremy and Liza all came with her. Liza and Mark wanted to be there for her during the funeral. If she at any time needed them, they wanted to be there. It had been a busy week for Mer, she had taken care of everything. She made sure everything was as her mother wanted, or at least what she thought her mother would have wanted.

It was a small ceremony with only about twenty people, many wanted to attend but Meredith tried to make it as private as possible. In attendance were: Meredith, Richard, Mark, Christina, George, Izzie, Alex, Liza, Preston, Miranda, Dr. Aldridge and some others Mer knew while growing up; they were colleagues of Ellis', people whom she respected as surgeons, people whom were the closest thing she had to friends. Jeremy was spending the day with Willy, Miranda's son, and Tucker. Tucker offered to spend the day with the boys instead of going to the funeral with everyone else.

Meredith sat between Richard and Christina with tears silently cascading down her cheeks. She listened as people began to read poems or speak about the Ellis Grey they knew, she sat there seemingly paying attention but her mind was somewhere else entirely...

(Flashback to about a week and a half )

Meredith, Mark and Jeremy had just arrived outside the private clinic in which Ellis was being treated for her lung cancer. Meredith had received a call not too long ago from Dr. Aldridge telling her that Ellis was not doing so good, that the chance of her making it through the night were slim.

Meredith made her way down the familiar corridor to her mothers room. When she reached the room, she sucked in her breath and then let it out slowly in an effort to calm herself, as well as brace herself for what she knew was going to be exceptionally hard for her.

Mer opened the door to the room, letting the light illuminate her form. She stood by the door taking in the sight which was her mother, she was connected to so many machines, looking so helpless . Lying in the bed, Ellis seemed so small and frail, as if she were as fragile as a porcelain doll. With her eyes closed, Mer assumed she was sleeping, so she made her way to the side of the bed, sat in the chair and clutched her mother's hand between hers.

"It's okay mom. I'm here" she whispered as she kissed the top of her mother's hand

"Meredith? Is that you?" she asked, voice hoarse and groggy from medication

Mer smiled, her mom was having a good day. This meant so much to her, she would get to say goodbye to her mom, HER mom, not the shell Ellis Grey was on her bad days.

"Yes. It's me mom" she answered, on the verge of tears

"You've grown"

Meredith smiled and nodded her head affirmatively, not trusting her voice right then.

"I don't remember you doing that"

"That's okay. I remember for the both of us, besides it doesn't matter."

They sat in silence for a while, not sure of what to say. It was the most comfortable silence Meredith had ever encountered with her mother.

"Have you graduated medical school yet? Are you still set on becoming a surgeon? Because I don't think..."Ellis asked in a jumble

"Yes mom, I have graduated Med school. And I am a surgeon, I specialize in neurology. I'm in my final year of residency at Western Memorial actually."

"Oh" visibly surprised at the news

Ellis never thought Mer had what it took to be a surgeon. She thought Mer would break under the pressure. She thought that Mer was too caring and that she didn't have that icyness on her veins that was needed. She thought Mer would be the kind of doctor who became to attached to patients. So to hear that she made it through the rigors of being an intern and was at the end of residency was a surprise to her, practically rendering her speechless.

"Yeah"

"Are you any good? I mean, your at the end of your residency, you should have offers by now"

"Yeah I have some really good offers, but I think I'm going to stay at WMH though"

"I see"

"Mom, there's someone I want you to meet. Just give me a second."

Elis watched Meredith walk out of the room and down the hallway. About three minutes later she returned, this time holding a little boy's hand. She sat on the chair closest to the bed which she had recently vacated and placed the boy on her lap. Shortly after they did this a tall handsome man entered, closed the door and sat in the chair closest to said door. Meredith then sat the boy on the bed next to Ellis and took her hand once again.

"Mom, I want you to meet your grandson. Jeremy Richard Christian Grey."

Jeremy flashes one of his 'you- can't- help- falling- in-love-with- me- because- I'm- so-cute' smiles at his grandma and gave her one of his enthusiastic waves

"Hi Grandma!!!"

"Hello" she then looks at Mer in astonishment"You have a son"

"Yeah, he'll be five next month"

"He's a beautiful child Meredith. Just like his mother."

At those words Mer's eyes begin to water. In all her years she can never remember her mom saying that to her.

"Thank you."

Ellis turned her attention to the man sitting in the seat by the door and pointed in his direction.

"Who this?"

"Oh, that's"

But before Mer could finish her statement Jeremy interrupted and said rather proudly, "That's my daddy. His name is Mark grandma."

Mark took this as a sign that it was okay to approach. He made his way over to Ellis' bedside, opposite to that of Meredith and took her hand in his.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Grey"

"Likewise"

"Daddy, I'm thirsty" Jeremy told Mark before another conversation could ensue

"Ok buddy, how about you and I leave mommy and grandma to talk while we go get you something to drink?"

"Okay daddy" Jeremy then leaned over and gave Ellis a kiss on the cheek and a small hug. "Bye grandma, I love you." He said while flashing another one of his adorable smiles. He opened his arms toward Mark, and was scooped off the bed in one swift movement.

Mark turned his attention back to Ellis, "It was truly an honor Dr. Grey". On his way out he gave Mer a comforting look and nod and exited, giving Mer and Ellis some more time alone.

It had been about three hours since Jeremy and Mark left. Mer and Ellis had done nothing but talk since then, they talked about everything. By the end of the conversation Meredith had heard things from her mother that she had wanted to hear for basically her entire life. Her mother had told her she was proud of her and that she was sorry she didn't give her a better childhood. Meredith didn't blame her though, for some reason she couldn't. After all, Meredith was a mother herself now, she knew it could be hard to raise a child while being a surgeon. It was tough. During their conversation Meredith realized how truly sorry her mother was for not being a better parent, she also realized that Ellis did her best, she did the best she could and Meredith couldn't be angry with her for that.

Elis was sleeping now but Meredith knew it was time, her mom was dying. Her heart rate had begun to steadily decrease over time. Mer could feel her slipping away, she could feel death lingering in the air. Meredith was amazed at how long Ellis had remained lucid, she expected for her to slip into another memory, another time period.

Meredith squeezed Ellis' hand once again. She had caught herself doing that a few times since Ellis had fallen asleep, it was sort of her way to let her mom know that she was still there. This time though, Ellis opened and closed her eyes. They seemed to be heavy, that it was a task to try and keep them open. Meredith knew it wouldn't be much longer now.

"I'm here mom, I'm right here."

"I'm so sorry I...-" she said with a hoarse and tired voice, dripping with regret

But before she could finish Meredith stopped her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for mom, I've told you that already. I don't blame you for anything. I am so grateful that you are my mom, you made me who I am today. You're the reason I am what I am. Thank you for that."

"No thank you, you're the best daughter a parent could ask for. You gave me a beautiful grandson, you have made me so proud Meredith. I want you to know that I love you"

"I love you too mom, I love you so much"

(Flashback ends)

Meredith began to break down as she said her final goodbye to her mother. As the minister ended the ceremony Richard had his arms around her trying to console her as silent tears of his own fell down his cheeks. Burke, Bailey, Izzie, Christina, Mark, Liza, George and Alex were all close by giving their support.

They all decided to go back to Meredith's house after the funeral was over.

- Seattle Grace Hospital, WSH, 2012 -

- Derek's POV-

I walked out of OR 3 at ten after noon (12:10), having had just completed another successful surgery. I made my way over to the OR Board. I didn't need to go there but did anyway. I knew that I was needed in surgery with Dr. Burke in or OR 1 in just under an hour. I should be getting ready to scrub in but I had to go to the OR board first, it is where I go right before a surgery to calm my nerves. Even if it is almost an hour before.

When I arrive at the board a nurse is erasing surgeries off the board and writing up new ones. I witness her erase Dr. Burke's name from the board and wonder why. It is one of the nurses who has been there since I started to work at Seattle grace so there is no need for me to look at her name tag to find out her name.

"Nurse Olivia?"

"Yes Dr. Shepherd"

"Why are you erasing Dr. Burke's surgery in OR 1?"

"It has been pushed back to 3:45 Dr. Shepherd"

"Oh, I see. Thank you"

"Your welcome Dr. Shepherd"

Just as I was about to leave I realizes that she also erased Dr. Bailey's surgery. Which I find odd because Bailey hardly ever reschedules. I continue watching Olivia erase names of doctors and their surgeries only to be replaced with other doctors and names of other less life threatening surgeries. It's not odd that board is being changed, but something else catches my attention. The names of the surgeons she erased are Dr. Yang, Dr. Karev and Dr. O'Malley. I find this to be quite strange because in all my days at Seattle Grace I have never heard of Dr. Christina Yang rescheduling a surgery.

"Olivia?"

"Yes Dr. Shepherd?"

"Do you know why Dr. Burke, Bailey, O'Malley, Yang, and Karev have all rescheduled their surgery for a later time?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd but I don't"

"Okay, thank you."

I made my way down to the nearest nurses station, confused as to why five doctors have all of a sudden had the need to reschedule their surgeries. It is not uncommon for a surgeon to have the need to reschedule their surgery, but five at the same time? Something is up. I know it.

Confusion must have been set across my face because the next thing I know, nurse Debbie is asking me if I was okay.

"I'm fine" I reply

She nodded at me and gave a slight smile, then returned to her work.

"Actually, there is something"

"What is it Dr. Shepherd?"

"Do you have any idea as to why Dr. Yang, O'Malley, Bailey, Karev and Burke have all rescheduled their surgeries?"

"No sir. All I know is that the Chief cleared it."

"Okay, well, have you seen any of them in the hospital today?"

"No I haven't sorry."

"Thank you"

"No problem"

The chief? Why would Richard be ok with five surgeons rescheduling? He would have a problem with this, unless of course it is really big. Finally I decide to go to Richard, I have to go there to talk about a patient anyway, I'll just bring this rescheduling surgeries thing up casually during our conversation.

I stop outside of Richard's office right in front of his secretary Patricia's desk and wait for her to hang up the phone.

"Hello Patricia, how are you?"

"I'm doing well Dr. Shepherd and you?"

"The same. Is the Chief in? I have to speak with him about a patient"

"No I'm sorry he's not I don't think he'll be in until later today"

"Very well" I turn to leave but then realize that Patricia might be able to tell me what is going on in the hospital or elsewhere that has everybody rescheduling surgeries. And also, why none of them seem to be around.

"Patricia?"

"Yes Dr. Shepherd"

"You wouldn't happen to know why Dr. Bailey, Burke, Yang, Karev, and O'Malley have all rescheduled their surgeries today or where they could be, would you?"

"Oh, yes I do. They all went to Ellis Grey's funeral, along with Dr. Stevens and the Chief. Like you said, they rescheduled, so I think they'll all be returning later today. Come to think of it, the funeral should be over now."

"Th..thank you Patricia" I stuttered, my word barely making it out as I walked down the hall

- Derek's inner thoughts -

Ellis Grey's funeral. Wow, when did this happen? I can't believe this. How was it that everyone else knew but ME? Don't be stupid Derek. You know why you weren't invited to the ceremony, you broke Meredith. Broke her? Where did I hear that from before? That's right, Yang and O'Malley She wants nothing to do with you. Ouch. That hurts. Even when I say it, hell, I thinks it hurts worse with me saying it. I have to admit it, I hurt the woman I love. Why was I so stupid? What is the matter with me? Why am I making this about ME?!!!! This is about Meredith, not me. Her mother is dead, gone, not coming back. She must be in so much pain right now, I hate to think about the pain she must be in, it makes me want to cry. If I remember correctly, her mom was her only remaining relative. She's alone now, she must feel so alone. My God, this makes me so incredibly sad.

Wait a minute, Is she alone? I know she has her friends and apparently Burke and Bailey now, but is she alone? Is she with someone? I'm such an idiot, of course she is. Do you expect her to be single after six years? Do you expect her to be waiting for you, even after you chose you wife over her? Yes. How pathetic am I? Wait how foolish am I? How pathetically foolish am I? Seriously, a woman like Meredith attracts men like bees to freaking honey. She's beautiful, intelligent, funny, she's a great catch. What guy wouldn't jump at the opportunity to be with her? Even if it were only for a few minutes. But back to my question. Is she with someone? Dammit, I have no right to ask that question, not now. Not after what I did to her.

I wish I could see her. See her smile, or hear her laugh again. I wonder if she'll come here, for a visit, that sort of thing. I doubt it, it's been six years now and she hasn't yet. Why would she now? Ever since that damn article in the Journal, all I can do lately is think about her and her accomplishments. I always knew she would make a great surgeon. I know she kept in close contact with her friends. There are times when I see them talking, when they realize I'm around they all shut up. I wonder if she also kept in contact with Burke and Bailey. Well probably Burke, after all he is her best friend's boyfriend. But Bailey? Did Meredith really keep in touch with all of them? Are they all close? Is that why they all went to the funeral? Funeral. Meredith is at her mothers funeral and here I am making this about me once again. Thing is, I'm here, when I wish I could be there, there consoling her and comforting her.

- Meredith's House, WSH, 2012 -

When they arrived everyone just sat around in the kitchen for a while, talking about old times and surgeries and what not.

Meredith: "Guys, you know I'm fine right? You don't have to stay, I mean I'm sure you all have surgeries to get to."

Mark: "Yeah, Liza and I will be here to stay with her."

Miranda's cell phone begins to ring and she leaves the kitchen to answer it

George: "You sure Mer? We already pushed them back, we can stay a little while longer"

Izzie: "Yeah Mer, I don't even have a surgery today. None of us are on- call tonight either."

Christina: "You know what I think you need? Tequila"

Alex: "For once, I think she's right Mer. We can all go to Joes. Just like old times."

Liza: "Joes?"

George: "It's this bar across the street from the hospital"

Meredith: "Christina. Alex. I do not need tequila. I would love to see Joe again but I do not need tequila. Besides, I think I'm going to head upstairs and take a nap then head over to Bailey's and pick up Jeremy anyway."

Bailey walks back in with phone in hand waving it in the air

Bailey: "Not so fast Grey, our boys have decided that they need more time to play. They're asking for a sleepover, what do you say?"

Meredith: "As long and you and Tucker are okay with it, I'm okay with it. It's not everyday they get to hang out, why not? "

Bailey: "Sleepover it is then" she says as she leaves once again to finish the conversation

Christina: "See Meredith, you can go take your nap while we're at the hospital doing surgeries, then we could all head over to Joes."

Meredith: "Christina, you can not go to Joes tonight anyway, who's going to take care of my goddaughter?"

Burke: "That would be me. Go ahead Grey, let loose have some fun. Just make sure Christina doesn't drink too much will you?"

Richard: "They're right Meredith. I'm sure Joe would love to see you again"

Meredith: "Jeez, I feel like I'm in high school again. Surrounded by people trying to get me drunk!!!!!!!!."

Everyone in the room laughs at the statement for a while, because in actuality that is what they were trying to do. They were trying to get a grown woman intoxicated to the point of no return.

Meredith: "Alright guys, I'll go on one condition and one condition only."

She waited for them all to nod or show some sort of agreement before she continued.

Meredith: "You all get your butts out of here!!!!" she chuckled as well as everyone else "Seriously, go save some lives then we can all head over to Joes and get drunk. I'll even meet you guys there after your shift"

They all nodded their head in agreement and slight murmurs of 'okay', 'fine', and 'sure whatever' were heard. Everyone gave her a hug and were out the door. Liza even went with them, Izzie had insisted she come, so that she could keep her company seeing as she had no surgeries and they could get to know each other better. With everyone gone, that meant Mer and Mark had the house to themselves.

"I think Liza has a thing for George"

"Me too"

"Really?"

"Are you kidding? Those two haven't been able to keep their eyes off of each other since we got here a couple days ago."

"Yeah, Izze likes her too"

"They could be sisters Mer. They're exactly alike"

"Not EXACTLY alike" emphasizing the word, exactly

"Close enough. Anyway, enough of them, you must be exhausted."

"I am"

"You want to head up for that nap now?"

"Only if you come with me."

"Lead the way sweetheart."

They both headed up to Mer's old room, where they both fell asleep almost immediately from exhaustion. Mer woke up with a start, her cell phone was ringing non- stop. Mark was spooning her and his arms were around her so tightly that her body was in synch with is, you would have thought they were conjoined. With a little bit of trouble she untangled her self and opened her phone.

"Mere, where the hell are you?!?!?!" Christina shouted into the phone

"Home, why?" she replied in a sleepy voice.

"Because you were supposed to meet us at Joes"

"What time is it?"

"Quarter past seven"

"Oh I'm sorry Christina, Mark and I fell asleep"

"Sure you did" she said in a suggestive tone

"Christina!!!! it wasn't like that... You know what? Forget it, we're on our way"

"Ten minutes Meredith, ten minutes. If you're not here, I'm coming for you."

With that Meredith hung up the phone and changed into a pair of jeans and one of her favorite J. Crew sweaters. She yelled at Mark every so often, for him to wake up but he didn't budge. So she decided to do the one thing she knew would make him up. She laid directly on top of him and started trailing kisses from his cheekbone down his neck and to his collarbone.

"Hmmmm, so your awake" Mark said as he rolled her over so that he was on top, a small smile playing at his lips

"Yes I am" she added playfully, while rolling over once more so that she was on top. Then she moved off him and went to the closet to retrieve her boots.

"Mer, wh-what are y-you doing?"

"Getting dressed, something you should be doing"

"Wh-what, why?"

"Cas' we have to go over to Joes, remember I promised everyone we would be there. Their shift was over from around seven, now it's almost eight." She told him it was almost eight because she knew him, if she told him is was just after seven he would want to stay and do the 'nasty- nasty' as Christina would so elegantly put it.

"Can't we just stay here and finish what we just started?" he said while pouting his lips and giving his best puppy dog eyes. Boy did she know him well.

"Believe me, I wish we could. But Christina gave us ten minutes to get there, otherwise she's coming here. She sounded pretty upset too."

"Okay I'll be ready in two!!!"

Mark jumped off the bed so quickly, he practically flew to his suitcase, which made Mer gasp in surprise.

"Are you afraid of Christina?"

"No" Mark answered, so quickly in fact that it caused Mer to not entirely believe him

"You are!!!"

"No I'm not"

"You totally are"

"Sweetheart it's just, Christina doesn't strike me as someone you want to piss off alright. With that said, I'm ready."

Mer didn't notice it, but he was. He was already dressed and was looking quite handsome at that. Looking at him made her want to indeed finish what she had started a few minutes ago, but Mark was right. Christina was not someone you want to piss off, and from the sound of her voice on the phone, she was already a little ticked off. In a little while they were already downstairs and out the door, getting into their rental, they were off to Joes.

- Emerald City Bar (a.k.a. Joes), WSH, 2012 -

The familiar ringing of the bells on the door caused Joe to raise his head. When he did, he saw a face he hadn't seen in a while. He had seen her on occasion in the past six years, she even dropped in to the bar once or twice just to say hello. Meredith Grey was back in Seattle, he knew that she was in town for her mom's funeral but he hadn't expected her to come into the bar, especially not at its busiest hours. Boy did he miss her, her presence had surely been missed over the last six years. Over the years when she would come into town form New York they would have lunch together, just to catch up. She always held a special place in his heart, he always looked at her as a younger sister whom he needed to protect, even if she didn't need it.

"Hey there stranger"

"Hey Joe" Mer said as she went to the side of the counter where you entered the bar was, so she could give him a hug

"Didn't expect to see you in here tonight" he said as they embraced and she chuckled

As they parted he added, "Though I should've known since the rest of the gang are all here, together."

"Yeah, where are they by the way?"

"Their over in the back, you know, the table where noone can see you"

"Oh okay thanks" she said as she left from behind the bar and was headed to the booth in the back

"Hey Mer! Tequila right?" he called after her as he lifted a shot glass

"Actually Joe, I'll just take a beer for now, I have a feeling we're going to be here for a while"

"Okay" he replied as he handed her two beers, which caused her to look at him quizzically. "The second one is for that guy you came in with, Mark right?"

"Oh, yeah, thanks"

On the way to the table, which Mark had already found, Mer was bombarded by people from the hospital; she remember some of them, they were fellow doctors, some nurses and she met a few new people. Some gave condolences and others asked questions about how she was doing and what not. Finally she made it to the table where her friends were already engulfed in conversation. Izzie only had time to stay for one beer, her patient had began to crash so she had to head over to the hospital.

As the night moved on, everyone went from beers to tequila shots. They all played drunken darts, first in groups, which were Mer and Mark, George and Liza, and Christina and Alex, much to their dislike, but Preston nor Izzie were there to play with them and they were far too drunk at the time to argue. Christina and Alex won the dart game for groups and then got into an argument over which one of them was better at throwing darts, which inevitably led to the discussion of whether boys or girls were better at darts. They then began to play a drunken game of darts where it was boys against girls and the losers had to buy the winners a round of shots. The girls won, and Alex sulked for a while, until Izzie came back that is. After a while longer of drunken conversation and bickering from Alex and Christina, everyone decided to call it a night. They all said they're goodbyes to Joe and were out the door. They all got into cabs because they left their cars at the hospital or home, they all figured they would be to drunk to drive after they were finished anyway. Christina in hers was heading home to Preston and their daughter, Alex and Izzie were off in theirs heading back to the house, George and Liza were off in theirs, and Mer and Mark in theirs, ready to go finish what they started before the came to Joes.

- Derek's Office, Seattle Grace Hospital, WSH, 2012 -

- Derek's inner thoughts-

As I sit at my desk I realize that this has pretty much become my routine for the past few months now. I come in here after my shift is done, I come in here and just sit, think and stare at the wall. It's the only place I can seem to think straight in nowadays. I try to figure out what fueled this and I realize that this all goes back to the day Preston gave me that Journal. Ever since then all I can do is think about her and what I did. How foolish I was and how sorry I am. Now today all I feel is more pain, mostly because I know she felt pain today, and that she is probably still grieving. But also because I can't comfort her or be that shoulder for her to cry on, what irks me even more is that Bailey and Burke can. I expect for the others to and even the chief, but Bailey and Burke? That just puts another nail in the coffin, not that I have anything against Baily and Preston, we're colleagues and over the years I would like to think that we have become friends, but to know that they can be there for her and I can't, angers me. I'm not angry with Meredith, I have no reason to be, I'm angry with myself.

Since when has she become friends with Bailey and Burke? Preston is suppose to be my friend, why wouldn't he tell me he is close with Meredith now. Why am I blaming this on Preston? Why am I angry at him for this? He probably didn't want to get in the middle of this, Yang would probably kill him if he did anyway. Why can't I let this go? Who am I really angry with? I should make a freaking list. That's exactly what I'm going to do, hell maybe it'll help stop me to stop doing this back and forth thing I keep doing.

So here goes... My (who am I angry with list) list:

1) Myself... that's for sure

2) Addison... if she didn't come back I would be happy with Meredith

3) The Chief... if he didn't call Addison for the consult she wouldn't have come

4) Bailey... if she hadn't asked Addison for a consult on her patient, Addison would've left a lot earlier and I wouldn't have had time to think about whether or not to sign the divorce papers

5) Meredith... I know it's stupid and I shouldn't be angry with her but I can't help it, deep down I am a little bit angry with her, she left, just up and left without saying a word, nothing, just gone.

6) The rest of the interns, her devoted friends... A part of me is glad that she has friends like them, friends who she can count on to always have her back and be there when she needs them, though I know it's not right, a part of me dislikes every single one of them, because they never told me where she was. After she left, I was ready to go after her, but they wouldn't tell me where she was, so I couldn't. I'm angry with them because they kept her whereabouts a secret.

7) Preston... Yeah I'm angry at him too, he obviously knew where she was, yet he didn't tell me. I was devastated after she left, he knew that, yet he didn't tell me.

Listen to me, I'm thinking of people to put on a list of who I'm angry at, but when it all boils down there is still only ONE person I can be angry with, ONE person who is to blame in all of this, ME, Derek- the- idiot-who-hurt-his-wonderful-girlfriend-because-he-didn't- tell-her-he-was-married-and-then-stayed-with-his-wife-and-hurt-his-wonderful-girlfriend-again-Shepherd.

This is revised, for all of you who are just reading this, don't worry about it, the old one was a mistake. You guys are reading the correct one now. To all of you who read this before, sorry about the the ending at the bar it was a mistake. I typed it one way and then realized it needed to be another but I posted the wrong version. So again sorry.

Thanks for reading guys... Leave a REVIEW (you know you want to)

Okay guy's this one takes the cake, this has been my longest chapter by far. It's like fifteen pages long. I think I deserve some serious feedback for this one though. I want to know the parts you liked, the parts you disliked. Do you think some things need to change, or something could have been better? I need you guys to tell me these things, it helps me know what I need to improve in order to keep you guys, my beloved readers, happy.

The Derek's inner thoughts thing is something I came up with, it's similar to a POV but it's just his thoughts, what's going on in that head of his. The inner thoughts might be a little jumbled and sometimes seems repetitious, but hey, that's what's going on in his head. There is no dialogue in the inner thoughts section, that would make it a POV, at least that's what I think. This is why I split up his POV and his inner thoughts section. If you still don't quite understand something about it, just tell me in a review or a pm and I'll see if I can expound on it some more.

If you play close attention, I mention 'old times' a few times in this chapter, once from Alex. It was my way of showing that Alex misses Meredith's presence and how things use to be when she was there.

There were so many ways that I wanted to approach the Ellis dying scene. It was taking me forever thinking about how I was going to get the death and the funeral to be in one chapter, because I thought splitting it up would just drag it out unnecessarily. The time lapse was eating away at me due to the fact that I don't like skipping weeks ahead in the same chapter. So all of a sudden it comes to me while I'm laying on the couch watching my brothers play video games, BAM!! do a flashback. So I smacked my hand to my forehead and was like DUH, one simple flashback and I can stop ripping my hair out over it.

Also, as for the bonding between Mer and Ellis had before she passed away, I hope you guys liked it. I would think that Ellis would act like that or somewhere along those lines, I mean, she's dying for pete's sake.