A/N: I must apologise for this chapter being so short. I was going to put a lot of the next chapter at the end and then I thought, 'this chapter needs to stand alone'

So, I'm sorry it is short.

Chapter 20- Every time

Now she understood.

As she tucked the sheets around her body, laying her head on the pillow, she understood what he had been saying to her. The opera had been wonderful, Louis had been pleasant, if a little distracted, and she had thoroughly enjoyed her evening. She was now sure that the only thing that could have made it any better would have been if he had taken her and not Louis.

It was not that Louis was at all poor company or that she hadn't enjoyed being there with him. It was simply that he was not the man she wanted to be there with. Of course, Louis had been kind and sweet but he wasn't her angel.

Her eyes closed and she sighed, what she now understood was the importance of emotion. She did not think it would happen, but it had, she had been swept in completely by the whole performance. Now she knew that she needed to let herself go.

Sleep began to seep into her pores but as it did she heard the sound in the walls and opened her eyes. It was not like before because now when she heard the noise, though her heart still beat rapidly, it was for a different reason.

'Did you enjoy the opera?' he asked, breaking her night time silence. She pushed herself up so that she was sitting on the bed.

'Yes, thank you,'

'Did Louis behave himself?' he asked.

She smiled in the darkness. 'He was the perfect gentleman,'

'There's a first time for everything,' he said but there was humour in his deep voice.

When the silence dropped in the room again she was the first to break it; 'Erik?' she said, his name stuck in her throat for a moment.

Then he laughed.

'So that is your name then?' she said playfully. 'You do have one,'

'Yes, my name is Erik,'

'Lambourne,' she said. 'Your name is Erik Lambourne...'

'It's alright,' he said. 'I didn't tell Louis not to tell you,'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I didn't know if I could trust you,' he said simply.

'And do you know now?' she asked, expectantly.

'No,'

'I have never given you any reason not to trust me, have I?'

'Nor have you given me any reason to trust you,'

'I do as you ask don't I?' she said, listening, trying to hear his breathing. 'I practise, I am ready for my lessons when you say, I do not stay out late,'

'This is all true, Christine,' he said softly. 'But trust is about more than that, it isn't about obedience,'

'Then what do you want from me?' she said, equally as softly, feeling a tug in her chest. 'How do I make you trust me?'

'You can't make me trust you,' his voice was gentle, so gentle she barely heard him. 'Trust is earned, it takes time... it isn't you doing what I say, it is you doing what you think is right by me...'

There was a pause and Christine was afraid he would leave. She was relieved when his voice filled the room again.

'...without being told... and me doing what is right by you,'

She laughed gently. 'I didn't even know your name until tonight,'

'I know,' he said and she thought for a moment that he was going to apologise. 'Not many people know my name,'

'Then maybe you do trust me... a little,'

No answer.

'I did what you asked of me tonight as well,' she said softly. 'Will you do one thing for me?'

'What do you want me to do?'

She laughed. 'You didn't answer my question,'

'I think it only fair that I know what you want me to do before I agree to it,' he said.

She smiled. 'I only want you to tell me something about yourself... anything, just one thing...'

The silence fell again, she was surrounded in the quiet, waiting for him to say something... to say anything.

She was about to give up and go to sleep when his voice softly pushed through the silence; 'I get lonely sometimes,'

Not a fact about who he was or where he was from but if anything Christine thought that this was even better. An emotion, real and true, and he had told her about it. She sat still for a moment, unsure how to respond. She had asked the question and he had answered her, giving her the information she wanted but at the same time never expected.

'Do you...' she stopped herself, cleared her throat. 'What about your friends?'

'I have one friend only,' he said. 'Only one that I trust,'

'Who is that?' Maybe she was pushing her luck but...

'His name is Nadir,'

'That's an unusual name,'

Erik laughed. 'In France, perhaps, but he is Persian,'

She felt herself smile, wondered if he could see her eyes sparkle in the dark room. 'You have an exotic friend,'

He laughed again and she felt warm. 'I'd hardly call him exotic,' he said. 'I might call you exotic,'

'You'd be wrong if you did,' this time it was Christine laughing.

'Well, you aren't from France,'

She paused. 'How do you know that?'

'Your accent,'

'I've worked hard on my French accent,'

'Why?' he asked.

'I wanted to fit it,'

'I'm going to guess Swedish,' he said. 'Judging my your accent and your surname. Swedish suits you more,'

She sighed. 'I've struggled to fit in around France,'

'It can be difficult for someone so young to move somewhere so new,' he said and he was right.

'I managed,'

'Yet you still try to fit in,' he said quickly. 'Why would that be so important to you?'

'I...'

'With your beauty you stand our no matter what you do or try,'

She blushed. 'It was harder as a child,'

'To fit in?' he asked.

'To be accepted,' she replied. 'I was not beautiful as a child,'

He said nothing in response and so she continued to talk, something in her needed to tell him this, needed him to understand. She did not want any sympathy from him but she did not want to feel his disappointment either.

'I was ugly,' she said simply. 'I was tall with thin limbs, my ears were too big... my eyes were too dark, my accent was too different... no one liked me...'

'It must have been very difficult for you,' he said softly.

'At the time, yes, it was difficult,' she suddenly felt cold and pulled her blanket up to her chest. 'The other children... they weren't really very nice to me,'

'People can be cruel,'

'My father... he tried to teach me to ignore what the others said but...' she trailed off and then added, painfully; '...it was too hard,'

'So you thought it would be better to change?' he asked.

'I haven't changed,'

'You try to disguise your pretty accent,'

'How can you even hear it?' she asked. 'Most people don't,'

'I have a good ear,' he said. 'I am a musician above all,'

She nodded.

'I didn't want to be picked on anymore,' she said softly, feeling an ache in her chest. 'You get tired of being bullied,'

'I know,' he said softly.

'I only changed my accent,'

'It's alright,' he said. 'I just... I like your accent,'

'I'm glad someone does,'

'I'm sure your father did,' he said. 'One question though, if your father was Swedish how did you end up with such dark hair,'

'My mother,' she said. 'She was from the South of France,'

'And she had dark hair?'

'Yes,' she said with a nod, it had been so long since she had talked about her mother properly. Probably too long, she thought. 'She was beautiful,' she managed to say on a choke.

'I'm sure she was,' he said.

'I miss her,'

'I can see that,'

'My father died too...' she said. 'Not long ago,'

'I'm sorry you have had so much loss in your life,' he said. 'I wish there was something I could do for you,'

'Trust me,' she said

'I...'

'Trust me... ' she said softly. 'That's what you can do for me, you can trust me or at least, you can try,'

'It's not that easy,'

'All you have to do is try,' she said. 'You go for so long with nothing, trusting no one and you will become something you're not,'

There was no response, she felt the ache in her chest again.

'I will try,' he said, finally breaking the silence.

'Try...'

'I will try to trust you,' he said simply.

Christine heard him leave, she felt his presence leave the room. He rarely ever said goodbye to her but she always knew when he had gone. She shuffled herself back down the bed, placed her head down on the pillow, let her thoughts swirl around, thoughts of her father, memories of her mother... Erik... I will try to trust you...

And for the first time in such a long time she allowed herself to cry.