Grey Eyes

5. Falling Snow

Sirius' back was up against the elm tree in the vacant lot behind his house. He had been sketching dark figures in black ink. Gothic, twisted bodies, yowling and crawling about. Snow had started falling several minutes ago and he smiled wistfully as he watched the ethereal flakes drift down around him, slipping past the bare branches, gathering on the folds of his jacket. It was Christmas Eve and despite the numb feeling he had inside, he couldn't help but find delight in the timely arrival of the snow. Maybe there would be enough of it to make a snowman tomorrow.

His family was gone, calling on friends. Sirius' punishment for "humiliating" Regulus was to stay at the house over the entire holiday. He didn't mind, for if he weren't being punished, he'd have to be dressed nicely, sitting on an uncomfortable sofa in some parlor, pretending he wasn't bored out of his wits.

The back door of Grimmauld Place opened and Sirius was surprised to find Regulus exit. Apparently their visits were over for the day. It was then that Sirius noticed that the streetlamps were lit. It was nearly evening.

Regulus hugged himself, his Slytherin scarf snug about his neck as he strolled over. He plopped down on the ground next to Sirius, his hair still slicked back in his attempt to please his mother. "Aren't you freezing?" he asked Sirius without looking at him.

Sirius had been cold for some time now, but he didn't want to go inside. He wanted to watch the earth rotate and the shadows grow. He shrugged. "How were the Pevensies?"

Regulus rolled his eyes, picking up a fallen stick and poking at the ground. "The same. I don't understand why their house always smells like cigars and fruit."

Sirius smirked. "Still hot?"

"Sweltering. I swear they're secretly from the tropics or something. How else could you tolerate a house that hot?"

"Glad I got out of it."

Regulus grunted.

Sirius' smile faded. "Reg, you know I wasn't trying to hurt you, don't you?"

Regulus glanced at him.

"I missed you. I miss you. I only thought that –"

"You're right," Regulus interrupted, dropping his voice as if worried they'd be overheard. "Bellatrix has this… this side of her that's… cruel. I guess when everyone started laughing I sort of… thought you had it, too. Guess I've been around her too much."

Sirius studied his brother for several moments. He hadn't been able to speak so candidly with him for a long, long time. The two had been close in Regulus' first year and Sirius' second, but Bellatrix had taken pains to introduce Regulus to more of his fellow Slytherins. Their cousin always seemed to have an eye on his little brother, as if he were her sibling and not Sirius'. He now regretted ever letting her near him.

"There's this second year Hufflepuff girl, Amelia," Regulus began. "She's always telling stories about pegasus' and secret passageways that lead to pink forests. Silly stuff that everyone knows isn't real. One day she said Bellatrix hexed her in the bathroom. No one believed her. But after what you said, about Bella trying to hurt you… I believe Amelia. Bella is… changing."

"It's all this bullshit about putting Muggles in their place that Tom Riddle is spouting. She totally buys it."

"I know." Regulus sighed. "I mean, some of his ideas are actually good. We have sort of gotten diluted. If we're not careful, we'll die out."

Sirius furrowed his brow. "If that were true, then how come two Muggles can have a witch or wizard?"

"That's really, really rare," Regulus said, glancing at Sirius' sketches. "What's that?"

Sirius closed his notebook. "I was just bored I guess."

"I like them."

"Regulus, you can't believe everything that mum and dad believe. You know that, don't you?"

The thirteen-year-old fixed him with a look that was slightly suspicious. "What do you mean?"

"I mean they love every word Tom Riddle utters. The guy's a nutter. Like that Muggle, Hitler. You're smarter than them."

"Lord Voldemort."

Sirius blinked. "What?"

"Lord Voldemort. That's what people call him now."

"The Riddle's aren't Lords or –"

"It's just a title. One of respect."

"Sounds made up to me." Sirius flicked some of his hair out of his eyes. The sky was significantly darker.

"You ought to be more careful," Regulus sighed. "He's gonna be Minister of Magic one day."

Sirius could feel the gap between them suddenly broadening and hastily struggled to close it. "Yeah. We'll see." Regulus had resumed scratching at the ground with his stick. Sirius realized he'd been drawing a Christmas tree. "Mum in a good mood?"

Regulus nodded. "Mrs. Pevensie caught her up on all the gossip. And I guess our aunt and uncle from Bavaria are coming over for the party tomorrow."

"Bavaria? Who are they?"

Regulus smirked. "No bloody idea."

Sirius chuckled and making the sound felt so good that for several moments, he was filled with hope, if not for he and his parents, then for him and his little brother. "One day, Reg, when I'm out of school, I'll have my own house, and we can have a proper Christmas. Just us and our friends. No random relatives who we've never met."

Regulus smiled. "I'd like that."

"Me too."

"Regulus?" Walburga's voice called from inside.

Regulus' smile slipped but he obediently answered. "Out here, Mum!"

The back door flung open and Walburga squinted in the dusk until she spotted the two huddled forms under the elm. "What on earth are you doing out here? You'll catch your death. Get back inside. Both of you."

Sirius rose to his feet, dusting off the seat of his pants. It wasn't ideal, but at least his mother was concerned about his wellbeing. Maybe things really would be all right, after all. Maybe this strain would pass and things could go back to how they were years ago. As he headed into the house, the fresh snow crunching beneath his shoes, Sirius realized that was what he wanted most for Christmas. He wanted to feel like a family again.

Dinner was such a pleasant occasion that he felt he could forgive all the hurt his parents had caused for more moments of cheer such as this. The laughter started when Kreacher bent down to pick up a fallen utensil and Regulus and Sirius caught sight of the elf's butt crack. The two had tried as hard as they could to keep their laughter inside, but one look at the other made snorts slip out until they were red in the face and cracking up. Orion had also glimpsed the source of their amusement and chuckled while Walburga had a pleasantly baffled expression on her face.

Through his giggles, Regulus said, "Sally Moffet!" which made Sirius bark in laughter at the reference. Sally had been an old playmate of theirs. She was Regulus' age, and when the two were five, she developed a fetish of trying to pull off Sirius' pants at every opportunity that arose. Sirius had taken to sprinting past her whenever the three played together, but one time Sally chased him to the fence. Sirius had leapt up, trying to haul himself out of her yard, when she yanked on his pants while he was hanging there. Regulus had been laughing too hard to help his brother, for Sally was finally succeeding.

Sirius had been red in the face and mortified at the time, and he had even run off crying and was happy to later hear that Sally and her family had moved to America. Now, however, the memory was far funnier than upsetting, and seeing how much it made Regulus belly laugh made Sirius find it all the funnier.

When Orion asked, "Who?" the two boys broke into peals of laughter all over again.

That night, as Sirius tried to fall asleep, he watched the falling snow, illuminated by the moonlight. He thought of his friends and wondered what they were doing at that moment. He began to feel guilty for not having accepted James' owl and resolved to write him tomorrow. He knew his mother didn't want them to be friends anymore, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. He grabbed a piece of parchment and began writing.

Kreacher was outside, disposing of a broken Christmas tree ornament when he saw the owl fly out of Sirius' window, bearing a letter. Shuffling back into the house, he headed for his mistress. She had asked him to watch her eldest son for any signs of wrongdoing. Good thing he'd been paying attention. Walburga was in the parlor, putting the last touches on the holiday decorations, readying for the party the next day. "Mistress?"

Walburga looked to Kreacher over her shoulder. "What is it, Kreacher?"

"Master Sirius."

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