A/N: First off: Apologies to anyone I may have offended in email/review replies. There are, however, a few things I need to get off my chest.

Be clear that this is not film based. I didn't like the film much, as a follower of Leroux's Erik I can't bring myself to enjoy watching The Phantom camply flick his cape around like a dancer. You will see shortly that there is only really one part of the film I actually liked- The murder of Joseph Buquet.

This is play based for the purpose of simplicity.

My other comment will be that I will not rush this story, I will not skip bits or change bits of the original unnecessarily. I said, from the start, that my own part will be padding, additions and explanations. The ending, will be different, know now that that is the only part.

If you are hoping for or expecting an Erik/ other character from me, stop reading now. Erik is either with Christine or is alone. There is only one woman for him because of his… innocence (?) passion (?). I believe in my heart that Christine is more emotionally stable than Erik and could love Raoul or another but for Erik to really love another? No.

I truly think that this is the greatest love story ever written, bitter or sweet, and to mess around with the main structure too much is… desperately unappealing to me. Hence the reason I usually write POST original fics.

This is new to be simply because I had an idea, I had a change, I had a story and I therefore decided to post it. I'm working to be a better writer, as we all are, and for that I have had to slow my chapters, making them longer. To do that there has to be no rushing, no missing bits, no skipping sections…

Many of you will get bored and leave, some will continue because you are intrigued.

For those of you that go: I don't blame you, thank you for reading.

For those who stay: I will try not to disappoint.

Chapter 33- She Will be Loved

It was dark in the corridors at the very back of the Opera Populaire and Antoinette had sought the cool and privacy it had to offer. She sat in a stool with her back to the wall, resting her head against the cool bricks. It wasn't long before he found her.

'You tried,' he said, his greetings to her were rarely hello.

She looked around her, finally finding a glimpse of his mask in the dark to her right. 'Tried?' she asked, though she knew what he was referring to.

'Yes,' he said. 'It's not your fault they won't listen,'

'You don't have to do this,' she said, regarding what was currently unspoken.

'But I do,'

'You have a choice,' she reasoned.

'What choice?' he asked.

'Let it go,' she said. 'Let Carlotta play the lead, let Christine find her feet...'

'Impossible,' he said.

'Why would it be so bad?' she asked.

'Have you heard Carlotta sing?' he asked and she knew he had a point. Antoinette had often wondered why she had become adored and so famous when to her, Carlotta's voice sounded shrill at best. To Erik's tuned ears it must be hell to listen to.

'I have,' she said. 'But that isn't the only issue here,'

'No,'

'Christine has been noticed, she is young, she will find her own way,' Antoinette said, giving him the logical argument he so often demanded.

'You and I both know that that is not the case,' he said. Again, he was right. Christine would probably not just make it on her own, without some pressure, without someone pushing her. However, she did not want to state what was clear to her... the patron, Raoul de Chagny, would see that Christine got the adulation she deserved.

'You don't need to hurt anyone,'

'I do,'

'Why?'

'I can't be seen to make empty threats,' he said. 'I have a reputation to maintain,'

'Please...'

'I won't hurt you,' he said, almost softly.

'I know that,'

'Then why are you so concerned?' he asked.

'Because it is wrong,'

'Taking the moral high ground, Antoinette?' he asked but his tone was not as angered as she expected, not even as mocking.

'Neither of us have ever set foot on the moral high ground, Erik, I know that,'

'I loved you,' he said.

'And I you,' she managed to say.

'Yet somehow you married someone else,' he said but the bitterness she once thought she might hear was not there.

'He is a good man,'

'He is,' Erik agreed.

'I love him,'

'I don't doubt that,'

'Then why...'

'Because you must understand that all of the things you would give for him, do for him,' he said. 'I will do for Christine,'

'You won't give up your home,'

'Would you?'

She looked at him as he stepped closer, caught the smell of soap. 'If it was a choice between him and my home... yes,'

'Even now?' he asked and she wondered how he knew about their problems.

'Even now,' she said softly.

'You and I are different people,' he said. 'We have different values and beliefs,'

'We love the same way,'

'We don't,'

'Passionately, fiercely,'

'You like to think you do,' he said. 'Not that you are not passionate but you're not like me,'

She fell silent because she knew, deep down, that he was right. His love was all being and verged on obsessive, her love was pure and passionate but never so clingy that it could suffocate.

'Don't hurt her, Erik,' she said.

'I have no intention of hurting her,'

'I know,' she said. 'But sometimes your actions get in the way of your intentions,'

'I can't back out now,' he said.

'You're going to hurt people?' she said, half question, half statement.

'I'm going to see that they take me seriously,'

She sighed, felt her heart ache.

'I would never hurt you or Meg,' he added.

She nodded.

'But this is something that I have to do,'

She nodded again, no words would come from her lips, she knew now that there was no talking him out of it.

'I have given them ample time to prepare, ample time to heed my warnings,' he said. 'They have hardly used this time effectively,'

'The managers are new,' she said. 'They don't really understand,'

'Then after tomorrow night,' he said. 'They will understand,'

'Perhaps they will change their minds,'

He laughed. 'You know that they won't,'

'I can hope though,'

'You can,' he said, as he leaned down and kissed her cheek. The sensation of his lips there was warm and made her heart beat harder but the tingle she used to feel was gone. She was glad of this, glad of Scott.

'We can never be friends again, can we?' she asked.

'No,'

'It's a shame,'

'Yes,'

'Time moves on, it doesn't wait for us,' she whispered. 'Instead it sweeps us up with it,'

He said nothing.

'I feel old,'

'You're not old,' he said, resting his hand on her shoulder.

'No, perhaps not, but I feel it,'

'Then rectify it,' he said simply before turning his back and vanishing, once again, into blackness.

Christine had been practising all morning and when the knock at her door came she was startled.

'Hello,' she said, without opening it.

'Hello,' came the reply.

It was Raoul, unmistakably.

'Can I come in?' he asked, after a moments silence.

She thought for a moment, wondered about the consequences but she realised that she missed her old friend. Besides, Erik had said he had business to attend to that evening, he would not be back soon. It would not hurt for her to speak to her friend for a few moments.

She opened the door and smiled at him. The sight of his face there, in front of her, made her heart skip a beat. He was still handsome, probably the most handsome man she had ever met, he was still sweet, still so blonde and fair skinned. He was taller than she remembered, broader, stronger. She took the sight in, let her eyes absorb the information.

'You're alright,' he said, and he sounded relieved.

'Yes,' she said, feeling confused as she stepped aside and allowed him to enter. 'You have seen me in the shows, you know I am alright,'

'I see you on stage, Christine,' he said, taking her hands. Suddenly, she was very aware that they were alone in her room.

'Isn't that good enough to know that I am well?' she asked.

'Seeing you from that distance will never be good enough for me,'

'I'm fine,' she said, swallowing.

'I see that now,' he said. 'You should have let me see you,'

'I've been tired,' she said.

'Yes, Madame Giry said that you were,'

'She's a good woman,' Christine said, moving away from him and sitting near the dressing table. Raoul remained standing but she could feel his eyes on her.

'I can see that she is,'

'Then you should listen to her,' She said with a smile. 'I told her I was fine when she came to visit me... everyday...'

Raoul nodded. 'How have you been?' he asked.

'I've been well enough,'

'I'm sorry about your father,' he said quietly. 'I... we... would have been at the funeral but we found out too late,'

'That happens,' she said but she could not help but think that Philippe had prevented it.

The fact was that, though he did not dislike her, Philippe could not understand how his brother could fall in love with the daughter of a lowly circuit violinist. Her father had little fame, no breeding and, as it
transpired, no money. Philippe De Chagny was a snob in reality, though he was good at heart. All he had wanted was what was best for his brother, the only problem with that was that Raoul was not allowed to decide what this was for himself.

'I know,' he said and he looked uncomfortable.

'Don't worry,' she said, seeing sadness in his eyes.

'I feel bad that I wasn't there for you,' he said, their eyes met and she felt a familiar jolt in her heart.

'We had not seen each other in years, Raoul,' she said. 'Your family is very important and very busy, you can't be expected to drop everything for an old... friend,'

'Love,' he corrected. 'And I'm not sure that it is that old,'

Christine opened her mouth but was so unsure of what to say she let her jaw hang, mouth open in surprise.

'I'm sorry,' he said, blushing. 'I shouldn't have said anything,'

'No,' she said. 'It's fine... really,'

'Are you sure?' he asked.

She nodded.

'Seeing you there,' he continued. 'That night, on the stage... I felt as though nothing had changed between us,'

She said nothing, had nothing to say, she just sat there, staring up at this dashing man.

'Nothing has changed between us, Lotte,' he said softly, stepping forward and taking her hands in his. 'I still love you, I knew that night and though I haven't seen you, my feelings have not gone away. They are still there, you are still in my heart... the very sight of you makes me deliriously happy, can you understand that? Can you believe that? What a fool I must sound like to you,'

'I'm a little surprised,' she said softly, her heart was thumping in her chest, so hard she thought it might burst out.

'I'm sorry,' he apologised again.

'Don't be,'

'I know that I shouldn't even be alone with you,' he said. 'I'm sure Madame Giry would have something to say about that,'

He smiled warmly and it was infectious.

'What do you say?' he asked, hands gripping hers. 'Have you missed me?'

She looked at him for a moment, watched as his golden fringe fell over his eyes, and then his hand brush it away in the casual way only he could do it. For a moment she wished she had done it for him, wanted to touch him.

'I missed you,' she said. 'But things are different now,'

'Why?' he asked.

'I...'

'Is there someone else?' he asked.

'In a way,'

'Is it this tutor?' he asked, a cloud crossing his eyes.

'My tutor?' she asked.

'He is the ghost, isn't he?' Raoul asked, kneeling in front of her and looking into her eyes. 'This ghost they all speak of...'

'Yes,' she said softly.

'Isn't that dangerous, Christine?' he asked but didn't wait for her to respond. 'He's making threats, warning us...'

She stared at him and said nothing, she moved her hands and gripped the sides of her seat, it was the only thing she could do to stop herself from shrugging. Erik was Erik, she was coming to realise that.

'Maybe you should listen to him,' she said.

'You're still playing the pageboy,' he said gently.

She smiled. 'That's fine with me,'

'But not with him?'

'I suppose we'll find out,' she said, and felt a cold trickle along her spine. They did not want to find out, she was almost sure of this, but what could she do? She knew how it must look, she knew that she had no options, at this stage the managers decision was final.

'His threats...' Raoul said, letting the word hang.

'They're real,' she said.

'And he can cause a disaster?' Raoul asked and she heard the scepticism thick in his voice.

'I don't know,' she said. It was true that she was not bothered about being the pageboy, it was rather nice simply not being a member of the chorus, but she knew that Erik had wanted her to lead. The managers altering his plan would not sit very well with him.

'He seems dangerous, Christine,' Raoul said, seriously.

She blinked at him, trying to gather her thoughts.

'I don't think you should let him teach you anymore,' he said.

'Excuse me?' she asked, feeling a burning in her chest.

She saw him swallow. 'I think you should stay away from him and let me hire you a new tutor,'

'No,' she said, firmly.

'It's for the best,'

'Who do you think you are?' she asked.

'I'm your... friend,' he said.

'Then do what is best for me,' she stood and walked towards the door. 'I think you should leave,'

He walked to her and pulled her into his arms. She resisted him but part of her wanted to melt into him, to be near him again. Still, Raoul held on tight.

'I'm worried for you,' he said. 'And I'm sorry if I offended you but I just want you to be safe. You yourself said you're not sure quite what he is capable of, I have heard the rumours,'

'You have heard the rumours but you don't know anything, Raoul,' she snapped. 'If you did you would be advising your managers to listen,'

'I'm sorry...' he said, still holding onto her. 'I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm worried, can't you see?'

She swallowed the lump in her throat. 'I know,' she said, softly.

'He is dangerous,' he said.

'I know that too,' she said. 'But he is not dangerous to me, you must understand that. He cares for me,'

Raoul pushed her away slightly and looked into her eyes. 'And you care for him?'

'Of course I do,' she said. 'He has done a lot for me,'

He shook his head. 'That isn't what I mean,' his voice was quiet. 'Do you... love him?'

Christine felt her heart thud at the sound of the words, she had tried not to think about the subject, she was not sure if she wanted to know how deep her feelings were for Erik.

'Should I take your silence as a yes?' Raoul asked, and she saw the hurt in his eyes.

'I don't know,' she said, her throat felt tight.

He nodded. 'He...'

'I haven't seen you in so long,' she said, heart aching.

'I know,' he whispered, moving away from her.

'I do care about you,' she reached for his hand, took it gently in hers. 'I always have... I'm just not sure how to control this,'

'I'm sorry I disturbed you,' he tried to pull his hand away but she gripped it tightly.

'Please don't be angry,' she said. 'I'm not saying that I don't love you... but it's been a long time, you must see that? Things can't be as we were when we were teenagers,'

He smiled slightly. 'You're still a teenager,'

'I know,' she returned his smile but the light moment did not last long.

'I still love you,' he said. 'I want you to love me,'

'I need time to get my head around this,' she said. 'I need to sort myself out,'

'I understand,' he nodded. 'Of course, I will give you the time you need but you should know that I will be waiting for you,'

She nodded, placed her hand over her throat to hide her nervous flush.

'I can see myself out,' he said. 'It's good to see you,'

'And you,'

'I look forward to tonight,' he said. 'Seeing your final show of Hannibal,
I'm sure you will be magnificent as usual,'

His words were warm and sincere, his smile, though forced, was meant. This man was the boy who had saved her from bullies and rescued her scarf from the sea and given her something to look forward to everyday she was away from home. Now, as a man, he was dashing and sweet, honest and loyal.

When the door clicked shut behind her she sat on the edge of the bed, letting her eyes move to the full length mirror, letting her mind drift to thoughts of Erik. Somehow, Raoul kept entering her mind, she tried to focus on only Erik but it wouldn't come. Why did he have to come back now? Why enter her life after being gone for so long? Why would he choose now to defy his brother?

Why?

So many questions and so few answers