~/\~

~x~

~x~

~x~

Chapter 22

I had always known Jasper was capable of evil. As vampires, we all were. It was almost as if it were destiny. Something you chose to embrace or struggled to deny. Having allowed myself to embrace the darker side of myself only once, I knew going forward from that moment, I would never allow myself to go to that place again. Could never have suffered the pain and guilt of hurting another person that way. And even though I was soulless and damned, I knew there was still some part of the human that remained somewhere deep inside. Someone with the remnants of a beating heart that echoed in my conscience.

Now, though, I understood that Jasper had never once tried to avoid his destiny. He just kept it hidden – tucked away and suppressed so that I would never see. I had never known. Not ever…not once. I could never have known exactly what he was capable of. And in the end, it would be the not knowing that would devastate me. Because how could I not know? How could I not understand? How could I not see the lengths he was willing to go to hurt me?

I could read Jasper's thoughts. Had always been able to, but I knew there were times when he protected them…shielded them. Even from me. I don't know how he did it, and I never resented or questioned it because I felt he deserved his privacy. I always assumed it was one of his many abilities. And I suppose that it was.

I could hear what he was thinking. As I flew toward the room, I could hear and feel each and every sick, twisted and dark fucking thought. He had Bella.

My Bella.

He had her on the bed, and she was underneath him. He was looking at her body and hatred seeped from his every pore. Gushed like an open wound. He wanted to kill her, but he wanted hurt her first. And from his thoughts, I could tell that he already had. To what extent, I didn't know.

"Please," I prayed, as my body raged with a fury I knew he would never survive if he'd hurt her…if he'd fucking touched her. "Please, let her be okay."

I didn't open the door. I ripped it from its hinges. His eyes lifted to mine with a sneer and his hands… Oh, god. His hands were on her. Against her breasts. His body was covering her, and I could smell the thick scent of his sex in the room. Could taste the salt of her tears in the air. My body tensed, and my voice thundered with vengeance. I would fucking destroy him. I fired off like a trigger as I launched myself toward the bed. I ripped him from her body and slammed him against the wall. His eyes were wild and maniacal as he hissed from the pain of the impact. He was resilient as he came back at me, though. He drilled into to my chest with a powerful blow. But I was prepared for his retaliation – taking the pain of the impact and feeding on it.

No…he would not survive.

He would never walk from this room alive or undead.

"She wanted it," he sneered. "She was so fucking wet for me."

The roar from my mouth caused the room to shake. The panes of glass in the windows vibrated with the evidence of my fury. My arm drew back and I struck him across the face with such force, he fell back and against the wall.

"Wet for me the same way she was wet for you," he continued. "You want to be with a whore like that? She's a whore, Edward. Nothing! A human fucking whore who would have given it up to me the same way she gave it to you."

I punched him again and felt his bones crack under my fist.

Blood seeped from his lip. It wasn't flowing, just an open gash that trickled down the side of his chin. He licked it quickly and I watched it the venom heal it before my eyes. I charged him, pressing his chest and holding him against the wall.

"I always knew you could be rough," he hissed. "Knew you could take me this way."

Suddenly, everything he was thinking came rushing to me with rapid clarity. The way he felt about me. The longing and needing…the depraved and sick way he manipulated me for so long. And then his thoughts shifted to Bella. The things he'd done to her…said to her. I could feel the fear she'd felt as he projected it onto me.

I put my hands around his throat and as they took hold, visions of him choking my Bella flooded his mind. I could feel her pain and fear, could feel her anxiety as she choked from the constricted airways. And then suddenly, I could hear her on the bed. She was gasping for air. She was literally choking. I wanted to drop my hands from him and go to her. She needed my help. She needed me, but I couldn't let him go. I couldn't release him until he was destroyed. He needed to pay for everything he'd done. But she was so small and fragile on the bed. And she was hurting. It was like she was dying.

"Don't underestimate me," he hissed. "I am far more powerful than you. And you just never saw it. You could never just see me!"

"You're not stronger than the both of us," a voice said slowly from the door.

A voice from my past.

A voice that both soothed and terrified me at the same time.

And then I felt a strong, sure hand upon my shoulder. I recognized his touch immediately and my body sagged and heaved as everything that was happening overwhelmed me.

"Carlisle," I choked. It was a breath…it was a cry.

I couldn't understand what was happening. I didn't know…couldn't begin to process it all. The only thing I knew – the only thing I was sure of – was that I couldn't release Jasper from my grip.

He had to pay for what he'd done.

He needed to suffer the same way he'd made my Bella suffer.

"There's no time, Edward," Carlisle said evenly. "There's already been too much commotion. If the authorities haven't been called yet, they will be soon. This must end. It has to end now."

Jasper's face flickered with fear for a moment, but was replaced with hatred and animosity as he said, "Well, if it isn't a fucking family reunion."

A growl erupted behind me that was primordial and animalistic as anything I was feeling. I felt the hand on my shoulder pull away and in a flash, Carlisle was behind Jasper, holding his arms and flanking him between the two of us. My mind spun and tried to find center, but there was none. There was only confusion and anger and my desperate fear as they all surged inside me.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "We don't have time."

"Don't listen to him, Edward," Jasper pled. "He hates you. He fucking hates you for what you did. Think about it. What you want to do to me right now…he wants to do the same thing to you. He wants to kill you for what you've done. What you did to that woman."

The piercing sound of Bella's choking sobs filled my ears. She had suffered so much and was crying hysterically…hyperventilating. She needed comfort, needed to know that everything would be okay. And nothing would be okay for her ever again. Not until Jasper was brought to justice.

A flashing movement on the bed caught my eye. I looked over and Esme was there, kneeling beside Bella. Touching her, trying to soothe her. She was there. Just like she'd been in the woods. And she was living…not a ghost. Not a figment of my imagination. And she was handling her with such care. But even as I continued to reel from everything that was happening, I couldn't release Jasper from my grip.

"Edward," Carlisle said sharply. "It needs to end. Now."

The voices in my head were loud and rampant. Steeling my eyes on Jasper's, I tried to listen…tried to focus.

"So long," I heard Carlisle's voice. "We looked for you so long."

He'd looked for me. He'd tried to find me and I never knew. All those years…all those fucking years of thinking that he hated me. That I'd killed the woman that he loved.

"He told us you died. He said he'd found you…but that you'd died of malnutrition. That you'd starved. I didn't believe him, but we couldn't find you. And I didn't know. If I had known, I would never have stopped looking. I would have searched the entire world for you, Edward. My child…my son."

And the realization of all the ways Jasper had hurt me was like a ton of bricks hitting me in the stomach. He was truly wicked and vile, an evil and manipulative being…and I never knew. Not like this. I'd never once known what he was capable of. And because I had never known, he was able to get to Bella. I'd allowed him to be in her presence. I'd left her unattended, and he came to her. Was going to rape and kill her.

And as if he knew what I was thinking, Jasper thought of Bella. How she felt under his hands. How she'd quivered and cried beneath him. He thought of her breasts in his hands…and he remembered the smell of her arousal that he'd forced upon her. Remembered the way it tasted in the air.

"She would have loved it," he thought. "She would have loved my cock inside her. I would have filled her better than you. I would have made her come and cry my name."

My emotions shifted from confusion back to rage. My hands squeezing his neck, as fury enveloped me. I was supposed to protect her – it was my responsibility to protect her. And she would never be safe in a word where he existed.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "Finish it now."

And then it was done.

By my hands, it was done.

~x~

~x~

~x~

"Go to her," Carlisle whispered. "Go to your love and feel her under your hands. I know you need to. Take care of her and know that she'll be okay. You will be okay. We will deal with the body. It needs to burn…he needs to burn."

I looked at him. I still had so many questions, but he was right. I couldn't think of anything but Bella. I went to the bed and Esme rose, she looked at me with her eyes that were still caramel. Although, they were blended with golden hues and flickered with warmth like the color. She was one of us now. She was a vampire, too.

"You need to take her from here," she whispered as I leaned down to pull Bella into my arms. "It's not safe for us to be here. Please take her to our home. She will be safe there."

Their home?

Where was their home?

"You can care for her there," she urged me. "You can care for her and we will be along after. She needs you now, Edward. She will need you to be strong for her."

Her voice was soft and comforting and full of so much strength. And almost as if he could hear what I was thinking, Carlisle spoke.

"And we can be strong for you."

Bella pressed into me, relaxing as she curled up in my arms. I wanted to crush her against me, but I didn't want to hurt her. Just holding her, feeling her breath, hearing her heartbeat and knowing she was okay was enough.

"My love," I cried softly. "My beautiful, beautiful girl. I'm so sorry."

"Edward," Carlisle said. "You need to go. We need to get out of here. Take my keys and go to our home. We will me you there when we are finished."

"Where…" I asked. "Where…where do you live?"

"5586 Birkshire."

~x~

~x~

~x~

Carlisle gave me directions and I carried Bella to her truck. I would have carried her in my arms and ran with her all the way to the address, but I didn't want to leave any evidence that she'd been at the hotel. I lay her down beside me with her head in my lap, and I turned on the heat and began to drive.

Keeping on hand on her, I stroked her softly and whispered to her that she was okay, that she was safe and that I would never let anything hurt her again.

It could have been worse.

It could have been so much worse.

She shifted in her sleep, turning her body and clinging to me.

"Edward," she whispered. "Edward."

"I'm right here," I told her, stroking her hair. Needing to touch her just like Carlisle said – needing to know that she was okay. "I'm right here, Bella, and I'll never leave you alone again."

I was still so shaken from the knowledge that Esme was still alive. Not only that, but that Carlisle had looked for me. That he didn't hate me. Even after everything I'd done. But even in the midst of that knowledge, even though my entire existence seemed to hinge on that news, I found that it didn't matter. Not as much as she mattered. Nothing was as important has her.

Nothing at all.

Not them.

Not me.

When I turned onto Birkshire, I noticed that it was a quiet neighborhood. It was affluent yet understated. The homes were large and spread apart. It wasn't grand by any stretch of the imagination, but it was nice…peaceful.

I parked Bella's truck in the driveway and being so very careful with her, I lifted her into my arms and carried her up to the house. She murmured quietly, and her body trembled. I wondered if she was dreaming, and I hoped like hell that he wasn't in her dreams. Feeling angry and protective, I pulled her closer and whispered to her again.

I opened the door with the keys that Carlisle gave me and I walked inside. I didn't turn on any lights because I could see clearly and I didn't want to wake her. I made my way up the stairs and looked for a bedroom in which to take her. There was a door to my left, and I opened it. The room was big, and there was a bed in the center. It didn't look like anyone used this room, so I figured it would be okay.

I walked over to the bed and gently placed her on the mattress. The moment her body left my arms, she woke with a scream that turned into a sob. The sound broke my heart and I could have cried, I would have cried with her. If it had been possible, I would have taken all of her pain and bore it myself.

"No!" she screamed. "Edward…"

Her eyes opened and she looked around frantically. Her eyes were blinking rapidly, and I could see her panic in the light of the room. I reached out to comfort her, to tell her that I was there with her, but the moment my hand touched her face, her panic doubled and she screamed even louder.

"Bella," I said. "Please…oh, God...oh, Bella…I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

She twisted on the bed, pulling her knees to her chest and curling up into the fetal position. And I kneeled beside her on the floor, feeling so fucking helpless and worthless. Wanting so much to help her, to console and reassure her…and failing her again.

This was all my fault.

I never should have left her alone.

She could hate me now – had every right to hate me for leaving her alone and vulnerable.

Her sobs slowed down, turning into sniffled and quiet hiccoughs. And my heart shattered more with every sound. I ached to touch her again. I needed to tell her – to reassure her that I loved her. That I would never hurt her…fucking ever. That I would – and did – kill anyone who caused her harm. But how was that reassuring? I wondered.

"Edward?" she asked softly, her voice breaking.

"I'm here," I whispered, reaching out to her, though I didn't touch. "I'm right here, Bella."

"I…I…I can't see you," she cried. "It's so…it's too dark."

Rising from the floor, I walked to the bathroom off the side of the room. I flicked on the switch, causing a gentle glow to illuminate the room where she lay. I walked back to the side of the bed. Slowly…tentatively. I didn't want to frighten her any more than she already was.

"You came," she said. "You came back…and you…you saved me."

I fell to my knees beside the bed, my eyes cast down to the floor. I wanted to look at her – needed her to know that I would always come for her. But shame covered me as I realized that I was the reason she needed to be saved in the first place.

"I failed you," I whispered. "I failed you and I'm…I'm just so fucking sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I'm so sorry I left you when I did. I should have….I should have known it wouldn't be safe. I should have known that he would follow us. I should have been able to hear him. And I didn't…I couldn't."

"Please," she whispered and my eyes looked up to hers. They were so sad and scared and confused. "Please…"

"Anything," I said, meaning with everything I had. "Bella…anything."

"Why aren't you…?" she started to ask something and I didn't know what it was. "Is it because…? I mean…I understand if…"

Her voice broke off as she started crying again. This time, there were no hysterics. It was soft crying as she wrapped even further around herself. Trying to soothe herself. And I wished I could read her mind – needed to know what she was thinking. Wanted to know how I could best help her.

"I…I need you," she said softly…finally.

She needed me.

"I didn't know," I whispered. "I wasn't sure if I should…I don't want to scare you, Bella. To hurt you anymore than you've already been hurt. You were so frightened when you woke."

"This," she said. "All of this hurts, but I need you to…I need you to…hold me."

So fucking quickly, I moved. And I was beside her on the bed, pulling her into my arms. I held her gently, rocking her as she cried into the stone of my chest. Her body was tense, but she came to me willingly, allowing me to hold and reassure her that she was safe. That I would never let anyone hurt her again. I'm not sure how long she cried, I only cared that she was safe. With me, she was safe and secure and I would hold her as long as she needed me to.

Eventually, I felt the tension ease out of her shoulders. Heaving a shaky sigh, she pressed herself closer against me. I increased my hold, softly stroking her back and kissing her temple. No words were spoken between us. I knew she would talk when she was ready. I hoped she would talk when she was ready, but I wasn't going to push her. My body warmed as I felt her breath against my neck, and I shivered when I felt the soft brush of her lips against my chest. Even if I couldn't understand how she could offer me any comfort at all.

"Where are we?" she whispered. "Where did you bring us?"

"Somewhere safe," I told her honestly, not really wanting her to focus on anything other than herself. The rest would still be there when she was ready. "No one will hurt you here."

I could smell her tears before they even began again. And I could feel her body tremble as she seemed to be remembering something. I could only imagine what had taken place before I got there. And even though he was dead – even though I killed him with my own hands – I wanted him to suffer again.

"Where did he go?" she whispered. "I-I'm not sure what happened after…after I blacked out."

I wasn't sure if I should tell her the truth. I wasn't sure if knowing what I'd done would only scare her more. But I decided that there could be nothing but the truth between us. And I wanted her to know that there was no way he could ever hurt her again. He would never be near her again.

"I killed him," I said low and rough.

Her head moved back and I was terrified that by telling her, I'd done the wrong thing. Her wet eyes looked at mine and her voice trembled as she spoke.

"You did?"

I nodded my head solemnly before I spoke.

"I did," I said. "He will never touch you or hurt you again."

Something steeled inside her eyes. Something strong and determined and just fucking like her. She had been through so much in her young life. Had suffered so much and still she was beautiful. She was still a fucking survivor, and it made me love her all the more.

"Good," she said simply…quietly. "He deserved to die."

She placed her head back on my chest, and I could feel the gentle tug and release of her hand gripping my shirt. I could feel her perfect heart beating against my chest, and I found myself counting the beats, thanking god for each one and the fact that she was alive and still with me.

"I can still smell him," she said after a while. "I feel like he's still around me…covering me. On my clothes…against my skin."

"Bella," I whispered. "Did he…I need to know if…are you okay?"

She began to cry harder, and I cursed myself silently for asking. I should have let her talk to me when she was ready.

"I'm sorry," whispered. "I'm so fucking sorry. It's okay. It will all be okay."

I rocked her slowly and made hushing noises. And she wept against me in a steady stream of tears and hot breaths.

"I need to take a shower," she whispered. "I have to...I want to…I need to be clean. I won't be able to stand it until I can't smell him anymore."

With every word she became more panicked. She pushed herself up and began to unbutton her blouse. She ripped it from her body and scrambled from the bed. I stood up, unsure of how I should handle myself, didn't know what I should do. Would she want me with her? Would that only frighten her more?

She went into the bathroom and turned the water on, and I stood in the bedroom, raking my hands through my hair and wanting so much to be what it was she needed me to be. I heard the sound of her clothing hit the floor and then I heard the heartbreaking sound of her soft sobbing. And then I knew…I had to go to her.

"Oh, my Bella," I rasped as I stood in the doorway. She was standing there naked, her back to me and her face in her hands. "What can I do? Tell me…what do you…what do you need for me to do?"

This only caused her to cry harder and my hands reached out into the air, needing to hold her…to give her…

Anything.

I would have given her anything.

"Stay with me," she cried. "I don't…I don't want to be alone."

I went to her. Standing behind her, I wrapped myself around her and pulled her back to my chest. She came to me easily, willingly. I felt her sag against me, her head falling back.

I opened the glass door to the shower before picking her up and holding her in my arms. I reached my hand out and tested the water, wanting to make sure the temperature was okay. When I was sure that it was, I stepped inside with her. I left my own clothes on, wanting her to know that she was safe with me – that this was about caring for her and absolutely nothing else.

I felt the hot spray hit us and when it did, her body relaxed in my arms.

"Do you think you can stand?" I asked.

She nodded her head, and I slowly lowered her to the tile floor. She leaned her head back and with her eyes closed, she let the water hit her face. She opened her mouth, taking some in and I felt her hands slide down from her chest. They found mine that were clasped around her stomach and she held onto them tightly.

And then she cried.

We stood there for several minutes, letting the water cover us. The steam swirled thick and heavy in the air, and I held onto her, sustaining her weight with my body. I tried to focus on the pattern of her breathing, the steady beat of her heart. Holding her in my arms, I knew. In that moment, I knew that no one could ever love anything or anyone as much or as deeply as I loved her. And the fact that she allowed me to hold her – to take care of her in that way – gave me hope that she knew. And that she loved me the same way.

"I'm going to wash you," I whispered, looking around to see if there was any soap in the shower, my eyes landing on a small white bar to the side. I felt her tense up, and I stilled. "Is that…is that okay? I won't…I mean…I don't have to…if you don't want me to."

"Please," she said, turning her head up to look at me. "Just…just please, don't let me go."

"Never," I told her.

Not in the shower.

And not ever, ever again.

I took the bar in one hand, holding her steady with the other. I began to wash her back slowly, carefully so as not to hurt or scare her. I felt her shudder and then sigh, easing me in a way that words never could. With renewed purpose, I began to bathe her. I covered every inch of her skin with the soap. It smelled of roses and bergamot. Beautiful and subtle…feminine like her.

I rubbed her arms as I washed her, paying attention to her shoulders and trying to help her to relax. When I moved my hand to her front, I bathed her chest and her stomach, avoiding her breasts, still needing to know that she would always be safe with me. That her body was perfect and belonged only to her. When I was finished, she turned in my arms, wrapped her arms around my neck…and my Bella allowed me to pick her up again and I carried her from the shower.

I wrapped her in white towels from the closet, making sure to dry every inch of her perfect, flushed skin. And I carried her back to bed and lay her naked body down beneath the covers.

She sighed heavily, her breathing deep as she curled to her side. And I kneeled beside her, content to watch her from the floor.

"Sleep," I murmured quietly. "Sleep for me, my love. I'll be here. I'll be right here when you wake up."

She reached out and touched my face, her welling eyes opened as she looked me, her thumb tracing the line of my bottom lip.

"You took such care with me," she said. "You…you take such care of me.

I bowed my head for a moment, shame covering me once again as I remembered how I'd failed her.

"This isn't…" she whispered. "This isn't your fault."

I wanted to disagree, but I didn't want to upset her. So I offered her the only words I had.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

She looked at me, her brown eyes soft and unafraid.

"Please, come to bed," she said. "I need you…I need you to hold me. I feel safer in your arms."

I looked down at my wet clothes, knowing that I could never get into bed with her like that.

"I'll stay right here," I whispered. I'll be right here. I'll hold your hand all night long."

"But I want you to hold me."

She said nothing else, maybe because she knew she didn't need to. Maybe because she knew there was nothing left to say.

I needed to hold her, too.

I stood up and slowly removed my clothes, drying my skin with the same towels I'd used on her. I didn't look at her as I undressed, but I could feel her eyes upon my skin. And I went to the bed, crawling in where she'd made space and I pulled her to my body, covering her up so that she would stay warm.

"There's so much I need to tell you," she whispered.

"Shh…" I hushed her. "You can tell me when you wake."

She nodded her head against my chest and I held her as close as I could without hurting her.

"I love you," she whispered, and I could swear I felt my heart beat.

"Oh, Bella," I said. "I love you, too."

~x~

~x~

~x~

Bella was sleeping soundly when I heard Carlisle and Esme arrive home a while later. I still had so many questions, but nothing could pull me away from the woman in my arms.

I heard soft footfalls outside the door and one of them stopped.

"It's done," I heard his thoughts. "I know we have much to discuss, but we will be here whenever you resurface. Our home is your home, Edward. Yours and your love's. Please, stay with us as long as you need, my son."

Bella shifted in my arms, pulling my attention back to her. I looked down at her, the soft light from the bathroom casting a glow on her face. Her lips were slightly parted and her breathing was soft and rhythmic.

She was relaxed.

She was resting.

She felt safe enough to do both those things with me.

As if she knew I needed it, she whispered my name once more as she nuzzled deeper into my chest. And even though the night had been traumatic, there was so much in that moment to give me hope.

~x~

~x~

~x~

A/N

Reviews are love.

Please leave me some.

Thanks to each and every person reading. I still appreciate you so much. I tried to prove it this time by posting early instead of apologizing for being late. Hope you like this approach better.

Marvar is the best beta ever. She's also my bestie. She fills my heart…and my iPhone.

Thank you for everything, soulmate. I totally wouldn't be doing this without you.

Thanks to Raina for pre-reading and being her wonderful, supportive self. Your feedback is always appreciated and important.