Let the sexiness commence! This was a fun scene to write. Poor Merlin, he always ends up in the most awkward positions (muhahahahaha). I would've had this finished last night but Lola, my ever charming and needy cat, was terrified of the thunder and kept putting her head directly on top of my hand. Made it a smidge difficult to write. So you're getting an update that's not 2 am central time.

Anyways, hope you enjoy! Turned out a bit angsty at the end but Merlin has his reasons. Please review!

Chapter 8

She tried to nap; it seemed that feigning sleep was the only way to get Gwen to leave her alone.

So she lay in bed to please an absent Gwen but sleep was the farthest thing from her mind. Only one thing dominated it, rather one person.

She could barely believe her own behavior. Snatching servants into a closet wasn't part of her usual routine. But she felt…possessed…agitated in a way she never had before. She needed to see him. Needed to be near him.

And being ravished wasn't a part of her routine either. And ravish her he did.

Turning to lay face down on her comforter, she sighed, remembering his touch. She could still feel the warmth of his hands on her breasts. Even through the several layers of her clothing, his palms burned themselves into her skin. And his mouth…she had never even imagined such pleasure. His hot breath on her skin…the gentle nip of his teeth…even now she could practically feel the sensation.

Their bodies against each other was something else entirely. She had never felt so powerful and yet so overwhelmed. She hadn't expected the hardness.. down there but it fit perfectly against the aching part of her body.

Bliss, she had overheard married women at court say that bliss could be found in the bedchamber. And Merlin had certainly given her that. Bliss didn't seem like an appropriate enough word to encompass the exhilarating, the liberating feeling that shook her body and she assumed his. She shuddered in her very warm chamber, still feeling tremors of their pleasure.

And the kiss…that kiss. She didn't know what possessed her. Maybe because he seemed disinclined to kiss her. But as she was flying towards the edge, she needed something more. And his lips, his perfect, pouty lips that kept her awake when her nightmares didn't, had been so close…she needed one taste.

Their kiss was so chaste (particularly after the actions they had engaged in) but it was like molten heat spread from their lips throughout their bodies.

Turning on her back, she stared up at the canopy.

She knew she should be shocked by her behavior, by their behavior. The intimacies they had shared were often reserved for husband and wife. But from the moment he turned away from the door and back to her there was…rightness to the moment. She needed that. And so did he.

But she needed more. And from the hunger in his eyes, so did he. She needed to see him.

Getting up from her bed, she went behind her privacy screen. Her gown was rumpled from their earlier actions and her nap. She was about to remove her gown when the door opened. Thinking it was Gwen, she almost called out when someone else unexpected slipped behind the screen-Merlin.

At first he didn't see her, intent upon hiding and watching the door. He looked much the same as before (and like her)-rumpled and agitated. But then sensing her presence his eyes turned and met hers. He started and tried to move from behind the screen but the voices so near her door prevented him. He signaled for her to be quiet as Gwen peeked in through the door left ajar.

"She's not in here. Quick, we can talk in here," she said briskly to someone in the hall.

And seconds later Arthur followed Gwen into Morgana's chambers.

"So what did you find out? Did Gaius have any insights?" Gwen asked.

"No, he seemed rather reluctant to talk at all. I mentioned the symptoms that we've both noticed but he dismissed them. Something about the weather and the season affecting people differently. I tried to press it but he said there was somewhere he had to be," Arthur replied. "I also asked Merlin some questions…about Morgana. It was awkward as all get out but he said there was nothing going on. Nothing between them."

From behind the screen, Morgana's eyes turned to Merlin's. Nothing between them? She could understand the need for secrecy (she'd lied to Gwen) but somehow hearing that was a little maddening.

And it seemed to issue a challenge. As if sensing the direction of her thoughts (or reading the hunger in her eyes), Merlin moved as far away as possible without leaving the protection of the screen. But it wasn't far enough.

She grabbed his sleeved arm and merely held it while they listened to Gwen.

"Really? He said that?" she said. After a moment's hesitation she responded with, "Well, look, don't…overreact but I found Morgana and Merlin in a…closet earlier."

"You what?" Arthur practically shouted. She felt Merlin's arm tense.

"They were alone. It could've been totally innocent but they were together," Gwen responded.

Innocent? Morgana thought, Not in the slightest. His body was pressing me against the wall…And those thoughts seemed to reignite her passion. She was about to get herself into another not so innocent situation.

Moving her hand up and down Merlin's forearm, his body seemed to tighten further. He seemed to steel himself against her touch. As if he knew exactly what she planned to do.

Little did he know.

Changing tactics, she quickly pressed her body against his, moving him against the stonewall much as he had done to her earlier.

The tension between them was palpable. But their bodies weren't listening. She felt her nipples harden against his solid chest…and already she felt damp and aroused.

He vehemently shook his head. But with Gwen and Arthur a few feet away, there was little he could do.

Of which she took advantage. The pounding of her heart drowned Arthur and Gwen's voices out. She wanted to kiss him, to kiss the few inches of skin sandwiched between his jaw and neckerchief. But any time she leaned in his eyes filled with panic and swiveled his neck or pushed her back.

So she settled for touching him. Her hands roamed his broad shoulders, amazed at how strong he was beneath the layers of fabric. His body was hard…his muscles bunched wherever she touched.

Soon her hands were exploring his chest, tracing the hard planes of his pecs, his abs. His body fascinated her. And by the reaction she was having on him. His eyes were heavy lidded (almost like someone very sleepy trying to keep their eyes open) and his breath was shallow.

When her thumbs came in contact with his small and hardened nipples, he let out a little gasp.

"What was that?" Arthur asked.

Morgana and Merlin stilled behind the screen but Gwen said, "Probably nothing. Look, here's what we're going to do…"

Her voice was lost once again to the passionate exchange behind the screen. The danger of discovery only heightened their arousal.

Morgana's hands dipped lower on his stomach as a nearly inaudible groan slipped from his lips. Her hand moved to the front of his trousers, slowly trailing it closer and closer to his hardness.

Suddenly, his hand grabbed her wrist. She looked up, surprised to see such emotions churning in his beautiful blue eyes. Desire, fear, and an emotion she couldn't quite place.

He looked like he was fighting an internal battle. One she hoped she would win.

And win she did. He bent his head to softly whisper, "Touch me…please," as he released her wrist.

She needed no more encouragement. Eager and giddy with arousal and sexual power, she wrapped her hand around his cloth-covered member. It was hard…not that she hadn't felt that earlier, but harder than she imagined. And he seemed to like it. A lot.

Merlin's head lolled against the wall as his lips parted soundlessly. She explored him leisurely, moving her fingers from the tip to the root. As she tightened her hand and he bit his lip to keep from moaning.

This was getting interesting. She began to slowly stoke him up and down, twisting her hand at different angles depending on his reaction.

She heard the fading voices of Arthur and Gwen and the door close behind them. And Merlin, long repressing sounds of pleasure, finally let loose.

"Oh God, Morgana, please don't stop" he whispered between gasps and groans. She felt her own body react to his whispered pleas.

His hips began to pump faster in her hand, maximizing the friction of fabric with her tightening hand. The more she tightened the louder his moans.

Then suddenly his whole body seized and shuddered as he said, "Oh…oh…oh OH Morgana."

She felt his member spasm in her hand and warm beneath her hand. It was over just as quick as it began and she couldn't help the smug smile that formed on her face. She had pleasured Merlin and it had been amazing.

She knew that he had reached similar heights of pleasure in the broom closet. But there was something different about seeing it. Something different about giving it specifically. His face contorted with pleasure…his body taut…the erotic flush on his cheeks. Even now the look on his face of pure satisfaction was burned into her memory.

She didn't think she would ever forget those images. His eyes held hers as his breathing slowed. There was such tenderness in his gaze, such passion.

But just as quickly those emotions were gone, replaced with a mask of indifference and…regret?

Moving from behind the screen and putting some distance between them, he said the words which seemed to erase all the happiness of the previous moments, "This was a mistake."

Hurt and stunned, she replied, "A mistake? There's something between us. You must feel it. I can't explain it but I need to be near you. I want desperately to be with you."

"It's just lust. Hormones. We got carried away in the moment…twice. This can't happen again."

"Lust? Hormones? You must think me a simpleton to believe that," she grabbed his sleeve and forced him to meet her gaze almost desperate to make him admit something was between them. " I burn to be near you. I crave you every moment of the day and dream about you at night. That can't simply be lust," she said.

"Well, then it's infatuation and just a hint of danger. I'm a servant, you're a lady, that alone makes for a salacious tale," he said, not meeting her eyes. There it was, the same curtain that she saw fall over his face.

"There's something you're not telling me," she asked.

"No," he replied too quickly.

"What is it? What is it that you're hiding? That you're always hiding? You think I don't know that you have secrets but I do. Tell me, Merlin. What prevents you from admitting that there's a …connection between us? Please tell me," she pleaded.

For a moment, it looked like he might change his mind. His brow furrowed and he kept opening and closing his mouth. But in the end it came to naught, he merely said, "I have to go. Arthur's probably looking for me and we can't be seen together."

As he was nearly out the door, she asked boldly, "And what if it's love? What if love is the connection between us?"

He met her gaze steadily and replied, "It's not."

Then he was gone and she felt the hurt of his answer sink in.

FINIS

What did you think? It seems that avoidance isn't working for Merlin. Hurt and rejection may be able to douse even the fieriest of desires. Please review, your responses make my day!