A/N: These are shorter chapters slightly... not really sure why.

Anyway, thanks for all of the reviews. RR

Chapter 47- My Sacrifice

The ride back to the Opera Populaire was done in complete silence between them. There would have been no sound at all in the darkening night had it not been for the gentle clicking of the horses hooves on the stones beneath them. Raoul did not understand what had happened, he could barely open his mouth it was so dry, let alone talk.

Christine was just ahead of him riding Gilles Andre's beautiful chestnut mare. Raoul watched the gentle rise and fall, watched Christine's hair move with the rocking of the horse. The pain in his heart was almost too much to bear and too difficult to think about. He needed to ignore it, he needed to not think about it.

When they finally arrived back at the outskirts of Paris Raoul lifted the pace of the stallion and caught up to Christine so that he was riding by her side. She took a quick sideways glance at him, her cheeks slightly red, and then turned away. The quiet between them continued until they reached the stable area at the back of the theatre.

He climbed from his horse and helped Christine from the one she was riding. Her hand was cold. Handing the reigns of both horses over to two of the main staff he turned to Christine.

'How did you know?' She asked quietly.

Raoul looked at her, unsure what she was asking him.

'How did you know that I was there?'

'I spoke to Madame Giry once we realised you were missing,'

She blinked. 'You must have realised quite quickly,'

He shrugged his shoulders, felt a pang in his chest. 'I just noticed you were gone, Monsieur Andre noticed his horse was gone,'

'How did she knew where I was?'

'She didn't,' Raoul answered. 'She guessed,'

Christine paused. 'I'm sorry,'

'Its fine,' Raoul assured her, though in his heart it was anything but. 'Did he hurt you?'

She stared at him for a long moment before shaking her head. 'You still don't see it,'

'What?' He opened the door for her and allowed her to step through it.

'He would not hurt me,' She took her scarf from around her neck and unbuttoned her jacket as she walked. 'I've said it before and I'll say it again; he would no more hurt me than you would,'

Raoul sighed as he followed her, offering to carry her coat. She shook her head.

'How did he know you were there?' Raoul asked.

'I don't know,' she said softly. 'I didn't even know I was going until I was practically there. It wasn't thought out, it wasn't a conscious decision, I just headed that way,'

'He must have followed you,'

She nodded. 'Did you know it has been nearly a year since I have been to my father's grave?'

He shook his head in answer.

'I haven't been since the funeral,' He heard the catch in her voice, he knew that she was holding back tears. 'I'm an awful person, Raoul, I have neglected his memory,'

Raoul circled around so that he was standing in front of her, stopping her from walking. He placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead gently. 'You have neglected nothing but yourself this past year, Christine,'

She said nothing in response.

'Listen to me,' He said. 'I love you more than anything but you do worry me sometimes. When you were gone you had us all in a panic, I turned to Madame Giry because I had no one else. She said that she had no clue where you had gone but there was a possibility you would visit your father... I was so worried he had taken you and then, when I arrived, he was trying to do just that,'

She stared but remained silent.

'I was afraid,' He took in a breath. 'I was afraid that I would lose you forever, I couldn't bear it,'

'Raoul...' A tear ran along her cheek.

'I love you so much,'

'I know,'

He swallowed, dread building inside him. 'Do you love me still?'

The silence that followed nearly burst his ears as he waited for what seemed an eternity for a response. She was looking at him, eyes wet and soft, with almost pity. 'Of course,'

He almost sighed out loud in relief but she looked so confused, so strange, that he did not understand what was happening.

He had witnessed her in some sort of trance walking towards that monster as if she could trust him, as if he were Raoul. The punch of jealousy in his chest hit him like a bolt of lightening, nearly knocking him off balance. The jealousy mixed with his pain, his anger and his worry for Christine, all of this was a cauldron of bubbling uncertainty.

He once thought that one day his life would be perfect. He would turn out nothing like his father, marry a woman that he loved with all of his heart, treat her well and have children with her. Now he found himself with the woman of his dreams but worried about holding on to her.

What did that man have over her? Why was she so inclined to go to him?

'I should never listen to you!' Erik roared as he slammed the palms of his hands onto the table in his home. Nadir was sitting in the chair opposite him wanting to flinch away but knowing he could not. This was not a power play, not by any means, but Nadir could not show weakness to Erik, not now. It was like showing your wound to your predator.

Erik was furious, the gold and silver flecks shimmered in his usually solid blue eyes. Nadir watched him move away from the table, pace back and forth, before turning his attention back on Nadir.

'I told you it was a terrible idea,' Erik snarled. 'You'd think I would trust my own judgement after all this time wouldn't you?'

Nadir shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. 'You've been wrong before,'

'Yes, thank you for that, Daroga, most helpful,' His eyes were on fire.

'At least you tried,' Nadir said, much more calmly than he felt.

'Waste of energy,' The younger man snapped back. 'I should have stuck to my first plan, my first instinct,'

'I believe you should try again,' Nadir stared at him, trying to keep his gaze from wavering. Show no weakness.

Erik made a sound that was almost like a painful laugh. 'Are you joking with me? Now?'

'I'm not joking, Erik,'

'Then you've lost your mind,'

'You were halfway there,' Nadir said. 'You said yourself that she was coming to you, she was willing to listen,'

'Until that boy got there,'

'Then try to get her alone again,' Nadir paused before adding. 'With out kidnapping her,'

'How do you think that will be possible now?' Erik asked, running his fingers through his hair. 'De Chagny will not let her out of his sight,'

Nadir nodded, knowing that it was the truth. The fact of the matter was that Erik's plan was pure genius, as with most of his ideas. Despite this there was a large element of danger to the idea and therefore, Nadir had been trying to talk him out of it for days.

He had almost succeeded. Had Raoul De Chagny not interrupted then Christine would probably be with them now.

This was not to be.

'So we go ahead with my original plan,' Erik said, placing his hands on the back of one of the chairs.

'It looks that way,'

Erik's gaze shifted and he seemed to be looking off into space. Nadir had seen this look many times in the previous months, it was often followed by a long sigh and a period of silence. Nadir watched his friend for a moment.

'She was beautiful tonight,' Erik sighed. 'What am I supposed to do, Nadir?'

Nadir blinked at the use of his name, he was usually referred to as 'Daroga' or 'Persian'.

'About what?' He asked.

'Her,'

'You're going to save her,'

Erik glanced at him briefly before looking away, over the lake. 'I'm going to save her but she isn't going to love me,'

Nadir did not know what to say.

'She loves the boy,'

Nadir nodded.

'Not me,'

Erik looked solemn, sad, almost so unlike himself that Nadir was beginning to get worried about him again. He found it difficult to believe that Christine had no feelings for Erik at all, a good chunk of him thought that she loved him too. She had been willing to overlook certain details of his life, she was willing to come to his cold and secluded home, she was prepared to trust him, prepared to spend time with him. Nadir looked back at the Phantom.

'I rarely agree with your methods,' He said. 'But at least your reasons are more just than usual,'

This made Erik smile slightly, just a small upturn in the corner of his mouth, but it was there. Erik was not completely without a sense of humour, in fact, over the years, Nadir had found him to have the best sense of humour of anyone he knew... he just did not laugh often. His quips were always lightly spoken and lightening quick, his face completely unmoved.

One might call it dry humour, he thought.

'It is not the journey that matters,' Erik said. 'Only the destination,

Nadir shook his head. 'The journey matters. It is the journey that changes us,'

Again, Erik's mouth twitched in the mist of a smile.

'We both have had our journeys, Erik,' he continued. 'I'm getting old and I'm getting tired, let this one with you and Christine be my last,'

Erik nodded. 'I won't call upon you again after this,'

'It's not the help I mind,' He smiled at the younger man. 'It's the battling... I will help you fetch dinner and I will help you prune roses or clean bowls and cups but the fight... your constant battle with everything around you...'

'I understand,'

'I know you do,' Nadir stood and walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. It would probably have looked an odd sight, Nadir thought that Erik was six or seven inches taller than he was, but he did it anyway. It was rare for him to be so close to Erik or to attempt to reach out to him but in the end Erik was all he had. 'You're like my brother,'

Erik blinked, frowned a little, but said nothing.

'Neither of us has known much kindness in our lives but, strangely, the cruellest man I know is the man that has shown me the most affection,'

'Me?'

'Yes,' Nadir nodded. 'You,'

'I'm often cruel to you,'

Nadir patted his shoulder and moved away. 'Not really,' he said. 'You have a cruel mouth with me but I've seen you at your very worst and the way you are with me is nothing like that,'

Erik did not reply.

'I just thought you should know this because in a couple of nights one or both of us may be dead,' Nadir took a long breath, this was something he never thought he would say, particularly not to another man. 'I love you, Erik, you are my friend and you are my brother,'