Chapter Twenty-Seven: WWE Idol

---x---

Raw was live from the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden in New York City. Ken Kennedy had just beaten Sandman, and now the camera was backstage and showing Machetti and the rest of Chaos Inc. "Alright," said Machetti to the other three, "does everyone have the results from their DNA test?"

Paul, Brian, and Maria responded in the affirmative. "Alright, on three we all check," prompted Machetti, "one… two… three!" All four of them flipped over the piece of paper in their hands and read it over.

"I'm clear," announced Brian.

"Me too," confirmed Paul.

"Same here," said Machetti before turning to Maria.

"Um, I'm having trouble reading mine," Maria regretfully admitted.

"Here let me see," offered Machetti. Maria handed him her DNA test and he read it over, "Yeah you're fine. Looks like none of us are related to Vince McMahon."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" asked Brian.

"Well we won't be making any extra money off of him," pointed out Brian.

"But for the time being the four of us are on his good side," concluded Machetti.

"That's always good then," said Paul, "now, Brian and I have got some scouting to do. Cade and Murdoch are going to be facing Cryme Tyme and if we want to get those belts off of them, then we'll need to watch their match."

"Good thinking," replied Machetti.

"We'll see you guys after the show," called Brian as he and Paul walked off. Machetti then turned to Maria.

"Alright, I'm teaming with Candice for my mixed tag team match," Machetti told her.

"Regal asked me to be a judge for his WWE Idol competition," said Maria, "so I'll probably have to meet up with him."

"Alright, looks like we've all got something to do. I'll catch up with you later." Machetti gave Maria a quick hug and then they parted ways. With that the camera cut and went to show Vince and Coach talking backstage.

---x---

Vince and Coach had just been confronted by the Boogeyman backstage, and then the camera cut to Machetti who was walking down an empty hallway. He was dressed to compete and was wearing his black wrestling shorts and a Chaos Inc sweatshirt. He also had his WWE Championship resting on his shoulder. Machetti stopped next to a door and knocked on it. The label next to the door read, 'Women's Locker room.' Candice Michelle eventually came out, dressed in her usual wrestling gear with her Women's Championship over her shoulder.

"Ready?" asked Machetti.

"Let's go," replied Candice.

The two of them turned and continued the walked down the hallway. The camera cut to the ring where Melina's theme music hit. The former Women's Champion came down to the ring and got in, in her usual fashion. Melina then turned to the TitanTron and waited for her partner.

The World's Greatest Tag Team's theme hit and Shelton Benjamin came out from the back. Shelton headed down to the ring and once he was in stood next to Melina and faced the entrance ramp waiting for their opponents to make their entrance.

Candice Michelle's theme hit, and the WWE Women's Champion came out from the back. The New York crowd popped loudly for Candice who started walking down the ramp but stopped about halfway down. Candice grinned at Melina and Shelton, then looked over her shoulder as Riot Time hit.

WWE Champion Machetti came out from the back to a surprisingly loud ovation from the fans. Machetti walked down the ramp and stopped next to Candice, then nodded to her and the two of them walked the rest of the way down the ramp side by side. The two champions got into the ring, and handed their gold to the referee. Machetti pulled off his sweatshirt and tossed it out of the ring, then glanced at Candice and got out of the ring and onto the ring apron.

The two divas were going to be starting this match off, so Candice and Melina met in the middle of the ring, as the bell rang. Melina raised her arm up into the air and called for a 'test of strength' with Candice. The Women's Champion stared at Melina for a moment, then tentatively reached out and locked up with her. But that was what Melina was waiting for, because as soon as she was holding Candice's hands, she brought her leg up and kneed Candice in the abdomen.

Candice doubled over and Melina followed up with a knee to the head, knocking Candice down to the mat. Candice reached down and attempted to pull Candice up, but Candice countered with a drop toe hold, causing Melina to fall face-first down to the mat. Melina and Candice both quickly got up to their feet, but while Melina was holding her face, Candice grabbed her and whipped her into an empty corner. Melina hit the turnbuckle back-first and fell forwards down to the mat.

While Melina attempted to get back up to her feet, Candice walked around her then sat herself up on the top turnbuckle. Candice quickly reached forward and grabbed Melina's head and positioned it in between her legs. Candice glanced over at Machetti and smiled at him, then lowered herself downwards until she was hanging upside down with her legs wrapped around Melina's throat, for a figure-four neck lock. (Sorry I forget what she called that move.)

The referee came over and yelled at Candice to release the hold, seeing how it was an illegal use of the ropes. The referee started counting to five, but while he was watching Candice, Melina drove her elbow into the back of Candice's leg, and managed to pull herself free, then she turned around and elbowed Candice's other leg, causing her to fall off the ring apron and down to the floor.

Melina saw she had an advantage and quickly got out of the ring, then pulled Candice up to her feet and rolled her inside. Once back inside the ring, Melina pulled Candice up to her feet, then pushed her back against the ropes and choked Candice by pushing the back of her neck into the top rope. The referee yelled at Melina to relinquish the hold. Melina did, but not before swinging her leg in between the top and middle rope in order to connect with a hard knee to Candice's back.

Candice fell forward and held her back in pain, but Melina didn't give her a second to recover as she rushed over and rolled Candice onto her back, then went for the pin, ONE… TWO… Candice got her shoulder up. Melina got up and pulled Candice up to her feet with her, then Melina smashed her head into Candice's for a headbutt, knocking Candice down to her knees.

Melina stayed on Candice, then pulled her up and pushed her back into the corner. Melina choked Candice against the turnbuckle pad for a few seconds, but then released the choke and backed up across the ring. Melina then ran at Candice and jumped up into the air, connecting with a knee to the stomach. Melina backed away from Candice, who fell down to her knees and tried to pull herself up with the top rope.

But then Melina rushed over and grabbed the back of Candice's head, then slammed it down to the mat. Melina walked around Candice, and stood on her hair, then she reached over and grabbed Candice's arms, pulling her up off of the mat, while leaving her hair pinned under her feet. But Candice suddenly rolled forward and pinned Melina's shoulders for a roll up, the referee counted, ONE… TWO… but Melina kicked out.

Melina shot back up to her feet and grabbed Candice, who had only made it up to her knees, and slammed her face down to the mat. Melina then stomped on Candice's back before walking around Candice and grabbed her legs and neck for a bow and arrow lock. Candice's back was pressed into Melina's knees as Melina cranked on as much pressure as she could, hoping to get Candice to tap out right here.

Candice screamed out in pain as her back was torqued at a weird angle, but suddenly rolled to the side and off of Candice's knees for a lateral press pin attempt, ONE… TW… Melina quickly pushed Candice off of her. While Melina got back up to her feet Candice reached for the ropes beside her and pulled herself up off of the mat, but Melina rushed over and connected with two forearms to the side of the head. Melina then pulled Candice up to her feet and began choking her on the top rope again. But Melina quickly broke the hold and backed off when the referee threatened to disqualify her.

Melina came back and grabbed Candice, but Candice suddenly dropped down, causing Melina's neck to snap off of the top rope, sending her staggering backwards. Candice rushed at Melina then whipped her into the ropes, then caught her as she came back with a powerslam. But without going for the pin, Candice got back up to her feet, did her 'Go Daddy' dance, then hit and elbow drop on Melina before going for the pin, ONE… TWO… TH… Melina kicked out.

Candice saw that she had an opening and quickly got to her feet and tagged in Machetti while Melina recovered. With that all hell broke lose, the fans cheered loudly as Machetti and Shelton got into the ring. The two superstars sprinted at each other looking to gain the momentum. Machetti jumped up in the air for a crossbody, while Shelton dropped down for a baseball slide, causing Machetti to fly over Shelton.

Both men got back up to their feet and turned around, Shelton quickly grabbed Machetti and hit an arm drag, but while in mid air, Machetti spun around, then landed safely on his feet behind Shelton. Shelton turned around and saw Machetti standing behind him, then quickly ran at him, but Machetti caught Shelton as he ran at him and launched him up into the air, then dropped down onto his back, with his knees pulled up to his chest. Shelton came crashing down and landed stomach-first on Machetti's knees.

Shelton rolled off of Machetti and held his arms to his mid section, while at the same time, Machetti got up to his feet, then ran at Shelton, jumped up into the air and did a back-flip for a standing shooting star press. But in a flash Shelton maneuvered himself up onto his knees, then planted Machetti with a DDT as he was coming down. Shelton rolled Machetti onto his back and went for the pin, ONE… TWO… THR… Machetti kicked out.

Shelton got up to his feet and pulled Machetti up to his, then whipped him into the corner, but when Machetti reached the turnbuckle, he jumped up onto the top rope, then did a back-flip off of it and caught Shelton as he ran at him with a moonsault. Machetti quickly went for the pin, ONE… TWO… T… Shelton kicked out. Machetti rolled off of Shelton and got up to his feet, while Shelton did the same. Then Machetti ran forward, jumped up into the air and connected with a corkscrew dropkick, knocking Shelton down to the mat.

Machetti then ran to the ropes, jumped up onto the top one, back-flipped off of it, for a springboard moonsault… ONTO SHELTON'S KNEES! Machetti rolled off and held his stomach while Shelton got back up to his feet. Shelton walked over to Machetti up pulled him up to his feet, then whipped him into the ropes. But when he reached the ropes, Machetti jumped up onto the middle rope, the launched himself backwards across the ring and drove the back of Shelton's head down to the mat with the Over Castle Take Over.

Machetti didn't go for the pin, instead he got back up to his feet and pulled Shelton up with him. Then Machetti lifted Shelton up in front of him for the Machete's Blade, but Shelton quickly drove one of his knees into Machetti's side, and pulled himself free. Shelton then grabbed Machetti, T-Bone Supl… MACHETTI LANDED ON HIS FEET! Machetti quickly countered by kicking Shelton in the gut, then planted him with an Impaler. Machetti went for the pin, ONE… TWO… THRE… Shelton just kicked out.

Machetti rolled off of Shelton and lay panting on his back, both men had been sprinting around the ring and moving incredibly fast since they had gotten into the ring and were now almost spent. The referee saw both men down and began the double knockout count. But when he reached two Machetti and Shelton had rolled onto their sides and were beginning to fight up to their feet. At five Machetti was on his knees, while Shelton was using the ropes to pull himself up. Finally at seven both men were back up at their feet.

Machetti and Shelton stared at each other for a moment, both of them breathing heavily, then Machetti suddenly sprinted at Shelton looking to gain the advantage. But Shelton dropped down to his knees and caught Machetti, then launched him up into the air and over the top rope. But as he was going over, Machetti grabbed onto the top rope and managed to stay onto the apron. But Shelton suddenly spun around and connected with a kick that sounded through the arena to Machetti's mid section.

Machetti was launched off of the ring apron and slammed back-first into the barrier at ringside, before falling to the floor. Candice got down off of the ring apron and rushed to Machetti's side to see if he was okay. He was conscious but, was barely moving. The referee admonished Shelton for a little bit then walked over to the ropes and began the ring out count.

Candice knew she had to do something otherwise Machetti might not be able to get back into the ring in time. So she quickly grabbed Machetti and pulled him up to his feet. Candice threw Machetti's arm over her shoulder and supported him, while the referee stuck his head in between the top and middle rope to yell at Machetti to get into the ring. But suddenly, Shelton sprinted across the ring, leap-frogged the referee, landed on the top rope, then springboarded off of it.

Shelton soared through the air and Candice quickly dove out of the way, causing Shelton to come crashing down on top of Machetti for a springboard plancha. The referee yelled at Candice to stay away from the two wrestlers then started the ring out count over again. Both men were down and it wasn't until the referee had reached four that Shelton started to move. Shelton slowly got up to his feet, then glanced down at Machetti, he could either get in the ring now and possibly get a count out victory, or he could rolled Machetti the ring and pin his ass.

Shelton decided to go for the latter and pulled Machetti up off of the ground, then dragged him over to the ring and rolled him inside. Shelton quickly got in after Machetti and went for the pin, ONE… TWO… THRE…MACHETTI KICKED OUT! The fans erupted in loud cheers as Shelton looked up in disbelief. He shook his head then pulled Machetti up off of the mat and up to his feet.

Shelton quickly kneed Machetti in the stomach then lashed out with his leg for a side kick, but Machetti caught it! Machetti swung Shelton's leg to the side, but Shelton countered by whipping his leg around, DRAGON WH- MACHETTI DUCKED! Shelton landed heavily on his foot, then Machetti jumped up and connected with a spinning wheel kick right to the jaw, knocking Shelton on his back, then went for the pin, ONE… TWO… MELINA BROKE IT UP!

Machetti glared at Melina as she backed off after kicking him in the back, but suddenly Candice ran into the ring and charged at Melina, Candice jumped up into the air and took Melina down and out with her spinning wheel kick finisher, then quickly rolled out of the ring before the referee could disqualify her. Meanwhile Machetti reached down and grabbed Shelton's arm, then dragged him closer to his team's corner.

Machetti let go of Shelton, then turned around and climbed the turnbuckle. One on the top rope, Machetti situated himself so he was facing Shelton, then launched himself up off of the top rope and did a front-flip in mid air before coming crashing down on top of Shelton for a 540 splash. From there Machetti hooked Shelton's leg, and went for the pin, ONE… TWO… THREE! ITS OVER!

Riot Time hit as Machetti got back up to his feet. Candice ran over to Machetti and hugged him. Machetti smiled and picked Candice up and spun her around a few times, then placed her back on her feet. Machetti turned around to face the referee who handed him his WWE Championship and Candice her Women's Championship. Candice grabbed Machetti's free hand with hers and raised them up into the air in victory.

Machetti and Candice raised their titles up into the air, to a loud ovation, then they clanked the two championships together before lowering them. Candice smile and used her hold on Machetti's hand to pull him after her and the two of them quickly left the ring and headed up the ramp. Halfway up they turned around and Machetti pulled his hand free in order to pose for the fans. The two champions then turned around and headed to the back as the commercials hit.

---x---

Raw was back and WWE Idol was underway. William Regal, Maria, and Mick Foley were the panel and so far they had witnessed two rather horrible numbers from Jillian Hall and Nikolai Volkoff. But when Lillian came out and was singing Santino came out and interrupted her. Santino then opted to sing a personalized version of That's Amore. But thankfully Mick Foley stopped him.

"Santino, Santino," interrupted Foley, "I'm truly sorry but, enough is enough. I mean, I think that that was almost as painful as… watching you wrestle." The crowd 'Oh-ed' loudly.

"That's so funny," Santino said sarcastically, "but guess what? You can't talk-a to me like-a dat!" Santino then turned to Maria and demanded that she leave with him, but she protested saying she was still judging.

Suddenly Riot Time hit, and Machetti, who was only wearing a pair of black pants, while sporting extremely damp and matted down hair, came out from the back accompanied by Ron Simmons. Machetti stalked over to Santino and shouted, "Give me that!" as he yanked the mic away from him.

Machetti stepped back quickly and held up two fingers, "Okay, two things," said Machetti, "first of all, Mick CAN talk to you like-a that. Mick Foley had bled in that ring more times than you have even wrestled!" Machetti turned and gave a nod to Foley before continuing, "he's a former four time WWE Champion, and is the Hardcore Legend, in short he's a better wrestler than you can ever hope to be!"

Santino glared at Machetti and his eye twitched as he held in his anger, "And second… Ron!" as if on cue, Ron rushed forward and grabbed Santino then rammed him face first into the set, causing Santino to fall down onto his back. Machetti then handed Ron the mic, and watched as Simmons proceeded to bend down over Santino and say… "DAMN!"

The fans cheered loudly for Ron as he handed the mic back to Machetti then headed to the back. Machetti then turned to face the panel in the ring, "General Manger Regal, sorry for interrupting another one of your little shows, but I was just in the shower and it sounded like you were torturing and killing innocent animals out here!" The fans cheered loudly in approval.

"Normally," began Regal, "I'd yell at you for interrupting again, or maybe I'd have you escorted from the building… as you are." Regal paused for a moment to allow the camera to show Machetti. The black pair of pants was really the only thing he was wearing, he was standing completely barefoot on the top of the entrance ramp.

"Now look," continued Regal, "after the travesty we just witnessed I think I speak for the panel in saying that if you sing ANYTHING, that's in tune, you'll win the competition."

Back on the stage Machetti looked sheepish and shook his head. "Sorry sir, but I'm not much of a singer." The fans booed loudly at Machetti's refusal to sing. "Look if you want someone to sing for you, get Lillian back out here, or get our resident hip hop artist John Cena. I just don't do it."

"But Machetti," protested Maria, "I hear you singing in the shower all the time, and you're not even that bad."

Up on the ramp Machetti flushed red and looked down at his bare feet, "that's entirely different."

"And if I remember correctly," added Mick, "didn't you once sing We Will Rock You on one episode of ECW last October?"

"That was to piss off Heyman!" responded Machetti, "if I hadn't done that, I would never have won the ECW World Championship. Which was basically, one of those, desperate times calling for desperate measures."

"Well then I guess this is a desperate time calling for a desperate measure," Regal suddenly said, "Machetti, if you don't sing right now, I will use my power as General Manager to strip you of that WWE Championship!"

Machetti stared at Regal in shock, "I guess there's no getting out of this is there?"

"Not if you want to keep that title," replied Regal.

"Fine, I'll sing," conceded Machetti, "just give me a second." Out of the corner of his eye Machetti noticed Santino starting to move and a smirk appeared on his face. Machetti quickly headed down the ramp and walked up to a security guard that was positioned out in the crowd. After a brief conversation with the guard, Machetti receives a canister of something and slipped it into his pocket.

"Okay, now I'm ready," announced Machetti as he walked back up the ramp where Santino was pulling himself up, "I thought I'd sing something somewhat patriotic."

With that Machetti started to sing, "Oh beautiful…" Machetti suddenly ran at rushed at Santino and kicked him in the side of the face, "for blackened eyes…" Machetti then kicked Santino in the side and rolled him over onto his back, "and amber waves of pain…" Machetti stopped singing again and landed on Santino with an elbow drop, then quickly got back up to his feet, "for purple bruises… missing teeth…"

Machetti reached down and pulled Santino back up, then rammed his head into the set like Ron had earlier, causing Santino to slump down and lean against it for support. "Around your battered brain..." Machetti reached into his pocket and pulled out the canister he had gotten from the security guard, "San-ti-no-ca, San-ti-no-ca," Santino glanced at Machetti upon hearing his name, only to have Machetti spray whatever was in the canister in his eyes, "I spray some mace on thee…"

Machetti tossed the mace to the side and pulled Santino up so he was blindly facing him, "And pound thy guy and kick thy butt…" Machetti quickly knees Santino in the gut while he sang it, then stepped around him and literally kicked his ass. Santino stumbled forwards and rolled down the ramp, eventually coming to a stop halfway down. Now it was time for the big finish, "from cheek to shining CHEEK!" Machetti lowered his mic and took a deep breath.

At that the fans erupted in cheers, the singing hadn't been that bad, but the choreography that went along with it was pretty good. Machetti smirked and glanced at the panel of judges. "I'll tell you what," said Foley, "I'll give you a seven for the song, and a ten for the dance." The fans cheered as Machetti took a small bow.

"See I told you didn't sing that horribly," pointed out Maria with a happy smile.

Now it was Simon Co-William Regal's turn. "Machetti, you completely desecrated a perfectly good song and you made me resort to threatening to strip you of your title before you actually sang." Regal paused for a moment, as the fans booed at him. "But with that being said, that was the single most entertaining piece I have ever seen! Machetti, you win!"

The fans cheered loudly as Machetti took another bow, "Can I go get dressed now?" he asked. Some of the fans laughed as Regal nodded his head, and Machetti quickly headed to the back. Raw then faded and went to the next segment.

---x---

Raw was still live from Madison Square Garden. John Cena and Umaga had just beaten Carlito and Randy Orton in the main event. But Cena and Umaga's celebration was cut short as Riot Time hit for fourth time that night. Machetti came out from the back, now fully dressed, and with the WWE Championship over his shoulder.

"Hey Cena," called Machetti from up on the ramp, getting Cena's attention. "Look I appreciate all you've been doing in these recent weeks. You've been taking bullets that were probably meant for me. So I wanted to thank you for your efforts, by offering you a match for the WWE Championship at Saturday Night's Main Event."

Cena stared at Machetti for a moment before going to get a mic. He then walked back into the middle of the ring, stared down with the WWE Champion for a moment, then said, "YOU'RE ON!" Machetti smiled and nodded, then dropped his mic and headed to the back as My Time Is Now continued playing where it had left off.

---x---

That's it, now I just have a few notes for the end of the chapter.

1. The song Machetti sang was from an Episode of Celebrity Death Match, and the person who originally sang it was Weird Al Yankovich.

2. In case any of you skipped over it, the chapter where Machetti sang We Will Rock You is Chapter 24 of Can I Ask You Something?

3. Finally, as some of you may know, Saturday Night's Main Event was taped BEFORE this weeks Raw at Madison Square Garden. So instead of having the match before, they taped it after the show as the Dark Match Main Event. I just wanted to clarify that.

'Till Next Time…

Peace!