Chapter 4: caesium + semtex = dirty bomb
The news about Jim's proposal had reached Mike. Kate could have hit herself for being so stupid as to leak that piece of information to Dutchy. He had seen it as his duty to inform the CO who in his turn had made sure Kate and Jim had no time to talk.
Kate was angry. If Mike thought this was going to change her mind he was wrong. She really wanted to tell Jim the news about the baby and see and hear his reaction but every time there was something that kept interfering.
Kate had been so overwhelmed by the marriage proposal that she had totally forgotten about the subject she had originally wanted to discuss with Jim. By the time she had found Jim, a few minutes later, it was too late. He was discussing work with Madelaine and needed to speak to Mike urgently.
It wasn't all Mike's fault Jim and Kate had no time together. Work was keeping them pretty busy as well. First they had found caesium and then semtex. The seriousness of this problem kept everyone focused on their job, and marriage or babies were the last thing they should even be thinking about.
Kate walked back onto the bridge straight to the EOD. She had just returned from the cruiser with the dirty bomb on board. There was nothing they could do there so she had left Swain and Jim to drive the boat as far away from port as they could and to defuse the bomb.
"They've stopped their engine," 2Dads announced. He didn't have to. Everyone could see the boat had stopped and was drifting, but why?
They were not far enough from port to reduce the risk and more importantly they didn't have much more time before the bomb went off.
Kate looked outside, remembering the happenings of a year ago when she had been glued to the EOD watching the sub explode. Then she thought Mike was on board. Now she knew Jim was and with every second ticking away the chance of his survival was decreasing.
"Swain, Jim, time to get out of there," Mike ordered.
Nothing happened. They didn't respond. They didn't even signal that something was wrong. What were they doing? Why didn't they get the hell out of there and save their lives? She had ordered Jim to do so if there wasn't enough time to defuse the bomb.
Kate didn't dare to look at her watch knowing full well time was running out. Her breath was becoming irregular and to make sure she wasn't going to fall she decided to sit down in the Captain's chair.
Kate closed her eyes as the final seconds ticked away and when the loud explosion was heard she knew Jim and Swain were dead.
The pain in her chest was unbearable She couldn't breathe. If she hadn't been sitting in the chair she would have collapsed for sure.
No one on the bridge said anything until the phone rang. Without hesitation RO walked towards it and answered.
"Commander White sir," he said as he handed the phone to Mike.
Mike wanted to take it but then he saw Kate's white face.
"Bird. Help her," he ordered.
"Mike Flynn," he said trying to sound as professional as he could.
"Tell me there was no one left on that boat," Maxine said hopeful.
Mike was surprised how quickly Maxine had reacted. Of course they had informed Navcom all the way up until a few minutes ago and they must have seen and heard the explosion as well, but still the response came very fast. Mike realised he had to tell what had just happened even though he could barely even grasp it himself. As the captain he had a duty to report but he hadn't even been able to check on his crew.
"Mike," Maxine begged.
Mike closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. "No, Swain and Jim were-" he couldn't continue.
On the other side of the line Mike heard a deep sigh.
"How are you and the crew holding up?" Maxine asked.
Mike turned around and saw RO at his desk. He was shaken up but seemed pretty calm. 2Dads was grounded to the floor and kept looking through his binoculars as if Swain and Jim would magically reappear as soon as the smoke subsided. Downstairs Charge was looking after Dutchy who was shot but they must have heard the explosion as well and Bird was standing next to Kate who had tears rolling down her face but wasn't making any sound.
"We uhm. We're. We're in shock," Mike stammered.
"Can you bring in Hammersley? I can get someone to come over and bring her in for you if neces-"
"Sir, the X has trouble breathing. I need help," Bird yelled.
"I'll call you back Maxine," Mike said without much more explanation and hung up the phone.
Kate tried to focus on her breathing but whatever she tried it didn't work. Bird was talking to her but the sounds didn't make much sense to her. Kate felt hot and then cold before the world started to turn black.
"She's losing consciousness," Bird cried out in a panic.
"Is she breathing?" Mike asked.
Bird tried to stop Kate from falling. She was gliding off the chair.
"2Dads help her to get the X on the ground," Mike ordered.
"RO, contact Navcom. Tell them we'll bring in Hammersley ourselves. We need at least two ambulances standing ready. When you've done that I want you to find someone to go around and check the rest of the crew," Mike ordered.
In the meantime Kate had been put on her back and Bird and 2Dads were checking her.
"She's still breathing sir," Bird said, sounding really relieved. "Help me put her in the recovery position," she told 2Dads.
Mike was glad. Kate was going to be OK. Bird was standing up as a sailor and 2Dads didn't make stupid remarks, for once.
Not much later they arrived back in port where a full media circus had formed at the entrance of the base. Mike wanted to go with Kate to the hospital but he needed to report to Maxine and he had to make a phone call to Sally Blake.
He felt drained but Mike still had a long day ahead of him. He was going to check on Dutchy and Kate as soon as he had time.
Kate woke up in hospital with a few cords attached to a beeping machine. The light around her was really bright. Kate lifted the blanket a bit and realised she was wearing a hospital gown. She wanted to ask what had happened and where her uniform was but her mouth was dry and no sound came out.
"Doctor, she's awake," a woman said.
Kate had closed her eyes again against the bright light but she wanted to see who was talking. A young nurse stood next to her bed and smiled at her.
"How are you feeling?" the nurse asked.
Kate tried to speak again but still no sound came out.
"You can have a few sips," the nurse said while she handed a glass of water.
Kate noticed the beeping machine wasn't the only thing she was attached to. An IV line was stuck on her hand and a sack with fluids was hanging from a stand. Kate didn't want to think about it and drank the water before she handed back the glass. It didn't help her talking because when she opened her mouth again the only thing that came out was some sort of a sob.
"You know where you are? What happened?" the nurse asked her.
Kate nodded. She didn't remember much. Just the enormous pain on her chest and the dizzy spell before everything went black. When they had brought her in they must have given her a check and Kate wondered if they knew about her pregnancy by now. Should she say anything about it? She didn't want to if she didn't have to, scared they would inform Navcom about it.
"You were unconscious for a while. We attached you to coronary care to monitor your heart rate. Your colleague told me you saw the explosion and you lost your friends," the nurse explained.
Kate nodded again and touched her chest. "Heart attack?" she barely was able to say.
The nurse smiled and shook her head. "No, you didn't have a heart attack. It's because of the shock. The doctor will be here soon and he'll be able to explain," the nurse said.
"Thank you," Kate whispered before she turned her head away. She wanted to go back to sleep and dream of Jim and how she was finally going to tell him she was pregnant. She wanted to sleep because in the real world it wasn't possible anymore.
A week later Kate was back home. The only reason why they had let her out was because Mike had insisted on staying with her. He had slept on the couch and made sure she was comfortable.
It took her a few days before she was able to talk again. They wouldn't let her go home until she did. Nobody really understood what was going on in her mind. They knew Jim had asked her to marry her but any question about him she had refused to answer. In fact, any time anyone started talking about Jim Kate closed up and didn't respond.
Through the blood tests she had while in hospital the doctors and nurses had found out about her pregnancy but she had made sure no one else would hear about it.
Now it was time for the memorial service where Jim and Swain would receive their award posthumously. Kate had gotten herself ready and was waiting for Mike to come down and take her to the base but it frightened her to go there and face everyone. Face Jim's parents.
"I feel so guilty," Kate said when she heard Mike come down.
Mike didn't come close. After a week of trying he knew he shouldn't come too close.
"I couldn't marry Jim because…" Kate said before she had to take a deep breath. She couldn't finish her sentence. Mike looked at her encouragingly and waited for her to find the strength to go on.
"I can only imagine myself marrying…" she tried to explain, but again didn't finish her sentence.
Mike slowly nodded. "Yeah, me too," he replied.
Kate didn't understand what he meant but shook her head so she could focus on her own thoughts without being bothered to think of what he was trying to say.
"I don't know what to say to his parents," she finally admitted. The tears came back and for once Kate was glad Mike broke the unwritten rule she had come up with in the past week and came to comfort her.
"Tell them the truth," Mike said softly. "I'll be there with you. You won't be alone, I promise."
Kate took a final deep breath and smiled. She knew Mike was right although he had probably meant something else. She would never be alone anymore because now a little bit of Jim would always be with her.