Cullen took the tray up, trying hard not to think about the inn keepers daughter and her awkward advances she had made before he scurried off. She was homely, but nothing like what Cullen wanted. What he wanted- he shouldn't have been thinking about. Cullen swallowed and knocked on the door. "Amell," he called.
There was a click and she peaked out at him. "Amell? Really? Do you know my first name?" she asked.
Cullen flushed and stepped in after she opened the door. Instead of answering he declared that he brought lunch with him. It was safer to call her Amell. At least, back in the Tower. It put distance between him and her. Could he afford that now? Did he want to break what little barriers he had? A part of him said, yes, of course, why was he even asking? But Cullen usually ignored that part.
He set the tray on the old vanity, watching her in the mirror as he set everything. She pouted at his obvious avoiding of the question. Her long hair was pulled in a braid, pulled over her shoulder so she could fiddle with the end. The dress was a bit too large for her, the white fabric clashing against her dark hair. Because that was what he was paying attention to. Not the way that the dress hung much lower than it was supposed to, showing more of her milky cleavage than he'd ever seen before. He wasn't looking at that.
Maker help him, Cullen was no match against clothes.
He turned and handed her a bowl. She smiled in thanks, curling her legs as she ate. Whenever they weren't doing anything, the silence ate at him. If they were walking, packing, anything else he could forget that they needed to talk. He was running out of excuses as well. In fact, his latest one was pretty thin. She's eating. Wouldn't want to ruin her meal. Cullen frowned, giving a sigh.
"Cullen," she said finally, spoon clinking as she set it down. "We need to talk. I need to make an apology of sorts. Really. It's been eating me up."
Cullen tensed, cursing under his breath. "Apologize?"
"I do. I attacked you, and that was very wrong. I'm sorry. I completely panicked. I thought... I thought you might have been a thrall for some blood mage. As soon as you said escape I... well that's what the blood mages would have been after and it would be the perfect set up to get more mages to... do whatever Uldred was doing to them. We... normal mages wouldn't fight a Templar, right? I panicked. I apologize."
"You thought..." That explained her sudden shift of behavior. What worried him a little more, just a small part of him that often condemned what he did- was doing, was very worried about how good of a plan that would be for a blood mage. "I forgive you."
She watched him for a moment, and he wonders what she was thinking. "Well, thank you." There was more silence. Cullen was trying to work up the courage to begin what he had to say. What was eating him up. Tell her what was in his satchel. He took too long, apparently. "Why did you drag me out of the Tower?"
Because I love you.
Not that Cullen honestly had the guts to actually say it. To her no less. It was still raw and surprising just to think it. But what else could he say? Everything but that, he supposed.
"I couldn't just leave you there," he said.
"Why?"
Darn her, Cullen thought. Though she had every right to know. "Because the Tower was going to fall. I couldn't let you be there when that happened." He pushed the bowl away from him. "All those blood mages, and Uldred. We Templars weren't enough."
"How do you know that?"
"A feeling. Uldred isn't going to have just one or two abominations. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he was one." Unlike the other Templars, Cullen watched the mages. Not just for signs of abomination or blood magic. He just watched. He spoke to them. He never liked just being the living statue against the wall.
She nodded her head slowly, setting her bowl to the side as well. "But why'd you take me when you ran?" Her voice was very calm, almost calculated. Hiding some deeper emotion. It was the tone a Mother took when she tested him on honesty, or after catching him in the act of some sort of sin.
Course, worse than her tone was the implications of that sentence. When he ran. As if he was a coward and ran from the battle. Cullen however pushed his anger away and tried to think of a better way to answer. "I couldn't leave you to suffer that."
Her eyes narrowed. "Am I to suffer you then?"
Cullen sputtered, the anger pushing back. "What? No! I mean- no! I just really... I just wanted to see you safe."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? So you just saved me out of the goodness of your heart?"
Cullen glared back at her now. "Yes. I expect nothing from you. I just want to keep you safe."
"So you're going to be my little watchdog, Cullen?"
"You don't want me around then?"
"You- I could have been a blood mage Cullen. I could have been siding with Uldred. Did you think of that?"
No. Honestly, Cullen couldn't imagine her with Uldred. He hadn't thought she... he glanced down at her arms. All of the mages robes had long sleeves. As did that dress. Cullen swallowed, eyes traveling back up to her face. He didn't quite understand the argument, but the tension, and his ignored anger, Cullen wasn't thinking. "You aren't." The Maker wouldn't be so cruel to him.
"Wouldn't He though?" He hadn't realized he said that a loud. "You're just like the rest I guess. Stupid Templar. Stuck on your faith, living on your knees. Too cowardly to stand. Don't even know what you want." She stood with a flourish making for the door. "Mages too far beneath you, so cursed for you to ever do-"
No. She wasn't allowed to just stomp out on him. If she wanted to leave him- just the thought made his heart hurt- she could. He couldn't stop her. Not really. But he couldn't let her leave thinking so bad about him. He couldn't let her bad mouth him. Andraste's knickers, he was angry, he was panicking, and he could feel her magic. Just the taste of it, a tickle across his senses.
Andraste watch over him, her magic made him stupid.
He grabbed her arm. "You don't get to leave angry."
"You don't get to tell me what to do Cullen." She tried to wrench her arm from his. He didn't let her go. "Release me."
"No. Not until you understand."
"I understand everything. I was wrong. I get it. And unless you're going to take me back-"
"Would you stop talking!" Cullen almost yelled, pushing her back until she was against the wall, stopping her struggling. "I don't know what has you so upset, you were fine before we started talking! But Maker help me, you will listen until I am done talking, Solona!"
She stiffened when he said her name. "Then say your peace, Templar" she said snapped. But Cullen was not scared of her. But the anger between them sizzled and Cullen tried to breath because he was so close to her. Without his armor he could feel her body heat. If he just leaned forward a little more he could-
"Listen, what you two want to do after a haggard night of running it between you two. And Templar and Naughty Mage can be very fun. But could you two keep it down?" a voice said from behind the door. Sounded like the innkeeper himself.
The anger disappeared near instantly, both of them blushing. Solona's mouth dropped, dark eyes wide as her gaze turned to the door. "I thought Anders had been kidding when he said people... they think we're... were we that loud?" She looked completely aghast over it all.
Cullen would have laughed had he not come to the near same conclusion.
She tried to gently pull her hands from his, face turning remorseful. "Listen, Cullen-"
"No. I told you to be quiet until I'm done." He took a deep shuddering did not need anger to tell her. He did not! "Solona, you are the single most important thing to me in this world or the next. I do not need to check if you are a blood mage- did not need to because I know you wouldn't be. A feeling. I want to stay with you. Protect you, if you'll let me. If you need to get away from me" he stuttered as he tried to continue that painful thought "then you can walk right out that door. I won't stop you. I won't hurt you."
Well, he told her everything but that, he supposed.
He released her wrist, moving his hand to trail his knuckles down her cheek, giving her a smile. It almost felt good to finally tell her. Even if she just stood there, staring at him, mouth open in shock, eyes wide. Finally, she said, "You really mean all that don't you?"
"I wouldn't lie to you."
"I... I guess not." She licked her lips, looking completely deflated from her earlier flourish of anger. "I don't know what to say to that, Cullen."
"I don't need you to say anything." It would have been foolish for him to think she returned his feelings.
"I... am sorry. For what I said before. I didn't really understand and I didn't know what you were doing and..."
He shook his head, giving her a smile. "You're not going to leave?"
"No. No, I won't. I..." She chewed on her lip again for a moment. "I'd just get myself killed probably." She gave him a forced smile and forced cheer. But the relief overrode any worry he would have had over that. His smile down to her was completely genuine.
"Thank you."
She pulled at her braid bit before glancing at him. "People really- erm- play Templars and naughty mages? Why?"
"I don't know," Cullen said, shrugging.
She rolled her eyes. "I don't understand the appeal." Cullen laughed, shaking his head. Spotting the satchel as he did so. Right, he still had to do that. "What's wrong now?" she asked, and he realized he was frowning again.
He shook his head again, stepping back farther and reaching for the bag. She curled the end of her braid around her finger, watching him closely. He pulled out the vial, turning and extending his hand to her. "This is yours, Solona."
"My... you got my phylactery?" He nodded. She started three sentences before settling on, "Thank you." She didn't sound so sure of herself, but gently took it from his hand. "Can I?"
"Whatever you want."
She stared at it, cradling it in her hands. "I keep waiting for you to say this is all a trick or test I've failed or something."
"No tests. No tricks. No lies. Not to you."
She avoided his eyes as she walked away from the wall, trailing her finger across the paper with her name scrawled across it. He smiled quietly to himself, even as she fidgeted and inspected the vial, and sat to finish his lunch. Suddenly the silence was companionable instead of tense. She sat closer to him- or he to her? But Cullen felt so much better.
At least, so long as he didn't think about how close they had been and how he had shoved her against the wall like-
Bad thoughts, Cullen thought with a quiet shuddering sigh. They went for a walk before dinner, Solona taking the time to destroy the vial in the trees. Away from the prying, gossiping villagers. And they gossiped. Cullen was already beginning to hear the stories and speculation of the two of them. They had only been there perhaps four hours but everybody already knew.
Everybody whispered behind their backs, but when they looked the villagers offered them free apples or gossip about others. People the two of them didn't know. But the villagers wanted them to know. Solona took it in stride. But then that was the Tower, wasn't it? Everybody gossiped about everybody. And you didn't have to know anybody for them to tell you all about them. Most of the women didn't seem to want to talk to him anyway. And the men were at work. Smith, fields, or simply avoiding their wives at the inn and tavern.
Solona stayed near him, usually. Leaning towards him more often then not. They probably took it as the whole 'being a loving young couple' thing. Cullen knew she was probably still timid, afraid of everything being so open and free. Of all the new faces. He was lucky she didn't have a panic attack from the overlord of everything being new big and completely in her face. When the crowds began to shuffle through, making their way home or to the tavern for some drinks, she wrapped her arm around his, fingers threading together and she clung to him. Desperately hoping to not get lost.
Cullen, of course, wouldn't let her.
So, everything was down hill from here, and that's always the hardest part anyway (if we were going to ignore my writing block- ish mood I'd been in). Anyway, I don't have much to say about these parts. It's been terribly hard to right in limited POV of just Cullen (usually I totally go God like and write from everybody). I sometimes worry my Amell is not all that great, but then at the same time leaving her vague leaves a lot of her for you guys to make up. Which is a good thing too (just, not might usual style and all).
Anyway, reviews are appreciated.