Chapter Thirty-Seven: Chaos Rules
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A/N: In case some of you haven't heard, John Cena suffered an injury on Monday Night. Cena suffered a complete tear of the right pectoral tendon and will not be out of action from six months to a year, obviously, he is going to be vacating the title. Now in the past I know I said I'd like to see the title off of him, but obviously I didn't mean like this. If nothing else, Cena is a hard worker, and if he is going to lose the title he should be defeated for it, not stripped of it. It always sucks to see a guy go down, so Cena, hurry back so I can boo you again.
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Raw was live from Cleveland Ohio, Mr. McMahon had just left the returning Raw General Manager William Regal with the task of watching Hornswoggle, when the cameras went further backstage and showed Machetti in a locker room. Two seconds later he was joined by London and Kendrick, both of whom were fresh off of their most recent win over the tag team champions.
"Great job guys," Machetti congratulated Paul and Brian, "there's no way they can overlook two non-title wins over the tag team champions. You'll be getting a title match sooner or later."
"Well, that's what we're hoping for," replied Paul.
"Yeah," agreed Brian, "we're bound to get a title shot sooner or later."
"With two wins in a row, I'd say sooner," commented Machetti.
"So what are you going to be doing tonight?" asked Paul.
"I'm going to be looking for a fight, that's what," answered Machetti, "I don't have a match for No Mercy yet "
"Do you want a hand?" offered Brian.
Machetti considered this for a moment, then a smirk appeared on his face, "Sure," resolved Machetti, "let's go live up to our name… and create some Chaos."
"That's what I wanted to here," said Paul.
Machetti turned around, then tossed two Chaos Inc sweatshirts over his shoulder at Paul and Brian, then picked up his pipe and headed to the door. "Let's do this," concluded Machetti as he, Paul, and Brian headed out the door.
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Raw was still live, the Diva Search Video had just been shown and William Regal was currently walking backstage searching for Hornswoggle. Regal didn't find Hornswoggle, but he did find the Highlanders. Regal asked the Highlanders why they had refused a tag team match against London and Kendrick, but Rory had answered by saying that they wanted the tag team titles, not London and Kendrick.
"Wait a second," came a voice as Machetti walked on screen, followed by Paul and Brian, "did you just say you wanted the WWE Tag Team Titles?"
"Aye," replied Rory, "what's it to you?"
Kendrick, London, and Machetti walked up closer, and Regal found himself surrounded by five superstars, one of which had been half responsible for taking him out a few weeks ago. "It might not be much to him, but it's something to us," commented Paul.
"And there's no way you're getting a shot at the World Tag Team Titles before us," added Brian.
"Is that right?" questioned Rory after glancing quickly at Robbie.
"Yeah that's right," snapped Machetti as he glared passed Regal at the two Highlanders, "incase you forgot, you two, along with the champions got your asses handed to you last week. And just a few minutes ago, these two," Machetti motioned to London and Kendrick, "with the help of Jeff Hardy beat the tag team champions for the second week in a row. If anyone gets a title shot it's them."
"And what if we disagree with you?" demanded Rory.
"Then the two of you can meet me out in the ring later on," answered Machetti, "and I'll kick both of your asses just like I did last week."
"Not likely," said Rory, "we're not fighting you, and we're not fighting them. We're only fighting when it's against the tag team champions!" With that he and Robbie turned and stormed off, leaving Regal on his own with the three Chaos Inc Members.
"So how are you doing Mister Regal?" asked Machetti as the General Manager slowly turned to face the three of them, "it's good to see you back."
"What do you bloody want?" demanded Regal.
"Well, we just noticed that none of us have matches at No Mercy," said Paul.
"But you have the power to change that," continued Brian, "you are the General Manager after all."
"I'm not going to be bullied into anything!" snapped Regal.
"Careful," Machetti warned him, "remember what happened last time you said that? Now, you don't have to do anything, but come Sunday if we don't have matches, we're going to make our own. Got it? Now be a good little stooge and go find the Leprechaun you're supposed to be watching." With that Kendrick, London, and Machetti turned and walked off. Regal glared after them before calling out to Hornswoggle and continuing his search.
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Women's Champion Candice Michelle had just taken out Beth Phoenix who had been attacking ring announcer Lillian Garcia. London and Kendrick were standing in front of a closed office door backstage and if you listened closely you could hear Machetti's voice coming from inside the room. But then Women's Champion Candice Michelle, fresh off of her 'defeat' of Beth Phoenix walked up to London and Kendrick.
"Is Machetti in there?" asked Candice.
"Yeah," answered Paul, "but he's kind of busy right now."
"What's he doing?" questioned Candice.
"He's in a meeting," replied Brian with a small smirk to Paul, fortunately, or unfortunately depending on whose perspective you're looking from, Candice saw it.
"What kind of meeting?" asked the now curious Women's Champion.
"If you must know, he's trying to get us matches for No Mercy," explained Paul.
"But that's not the General Manager's office, and I know for a fact that Regal isn't in there," pointed out Candice.
"And how do you know that?" asked Brian.
"He's coming this way right now," said Candice, as she pointed out as the Englishman from Black Pool approach.
"Quick act natural," hissed Paul as he and Brian leaned against the door frame. Brian stared off in a random direction and started whistling. "So really the masks were just a way of freaking out our opponents before the match," Paul told Candice as Regal walked passed. "But we really don't use them any…" Paul immediately broke off once Regal was gone.
But while London and Kendrick were still staring after the General Manager's retreating back, Candice lunged forward and pushed the door open.
The camera filmed the room over Candice's shoulder and saw Machetti crouching down in front of a sofa deep in conversation with Hornswoggle McMahon. But the second Hornswoggle saw Candice, he lunged off of the sofa and rushed at the door, but before he reached her Paul pulled her out of the way, and Brian slammed the door closed. Hornswoggle was apparently putting a great deal of effort into wrenching the door opened, because Brian was using all of his strength to keep it closed.
"We told you not to go in there," grunted Brian and he yanked the door closed once again. Eventually the thumping of the door had stopped, it seemed that Machetti had gotten Hornswoggle back under control.
"You left Machetti trapped alone in a room with that… thing?" demanded Candice as she glared at London and Kendrick.
"Apparently he discovered a way to communicate with the little guy without him attacking him," explained Paul.
"And we were keeping him confined in the room so he couldn't run off," continued Brian.
"How much longer is he going to be?" asked Candice, "I wanted to ask him something."
"He said it wouldn't take too long, but that was before you forced your way into the room," answered Paul. But just as Paul had finished saying that the door was pulled opened and Machetti came out of the room, with a struggling Hornswoggle under one arm and a contract of some sort being held in his free hand.
"Did Regal… come by?" asked Machetti as he struggled to keep his hold on Hornswoggle.
"Yeah he went that way," replied Brian as he pointed off in the way that the Raw General Manager had went.
Machetti quickly put Hornswoggle down, but held onto his shoulder to keep him from running away, before crouching down in front of him. "O-gay, at-thay ay-way," Machetti said to Hornswoggle, as he removed his hand from Hornswoggle's shoulder and pointed in the opposite direction that Regal had gone. Hornswoggle surprisingly stopped struggling and looked at Machetti questioningly, "Egal-ray ent-way at-thay ay-way," Machetti said to the Leprechaun as he pointed in the direction Regal had gone in, "O-gay!" Hornswoggle nodded, then turned and ran off in the way Machetti had first indicated. "Ee-say ou-yay ater-lay!" Machetti called after him.
"That was Pig Latin wasn't it?" asked Candice once Machetti got up and turned to face her.
"Yeah," said Machetti, "he likes to play games. Pig Latin is pretty much a big game, and is you can keep him confined and make sure he's listening to you, he'll listen."
"I might keep that in mind," commented Candice.
"I wouldn't," said Machetti as he, London, and Kendrick turned to leave.
"Why's that?" asked Candice.
"He's really… orny-hay," said Machetti as he and his two friends walked off. Leaving staring after him confused for a moment, then realization appeared on her face, but that was quickly replaced by a look of shock. The camera then cut and went further backstage to show Triple H taping up his wrists for his match, then Raw went to a commercial break.
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Raw Vince McMahon had defeated Triple H by disqualification, and Triple H had come to blows with his No Mercy opponent Umaga. After that Raw had gone to a commercial break, but now Raw was back and Marella at the Movies was underway. Santino and Maria were sitting in directors chairs and Santino had just bashed Steven Austin and the Condemned. Maria on the other hand disagreed with Santino and actually thought the movie was pretty good. But then Val Venis hit the ring and spoke about his 'movie' experience. Santino took offense to this and attacked Val and left him lying in the middle of the ring.
Maria and Santino headed up the ramp while staring down it at Venis, but suddenly glass shattered and the fans jumped to their feet as Stone Cold Steve Austin's music hit. Santino looked like he was going to piss himself as he spun around to face the entrance ramp. Someone, who clearly wasn't Austin, came out from the back sporting a Stone Cold t-shirt, and a trucker cap, and hit Santino with a Stunner before he could do anything about it.
'Steve' got back up and stood over Santino, then pulled off his trucker hat to reveal long brown hair. Machetti started laughing at the laid out form of Santino, the look on his face when he actually thought Austin was coming out, had been priceless. Machetti turned around to face London and Kendrick who were just coming out from the back, the former was carrying a mic, which he handed to Machetti, the latter was holding the contract that Machetti had gotten Hornswoggle to sign earlier. Machetti turned took the mic from Paul, then turned around to face the audience.
"I don't know about you guys," said Machetti as he addressed the fans, "but I'm getting a little bit tired of watching this piece of crap come out here and bash the Rattlesnake's movie week after week." The fans who had been originally booing that Machetti wasn't Austin, started cheering.
"Hold on Machetti," interrupted Paul as he pulled the mic away from him, "if you're gonna pretend to be Austin, you're gonna have do the whole thing." Machetti smirked at Paul then bunched his hair up behind his head and slid the trucker cap back on his head.
Machetti cleared his throat then lowered the pitch of his voice to make it sound more gravelly, turning back to the fans, "Now, if you all wanted to see that sorry sum bitch get a Stone Cold Stunner give me a hell yeah!" said Machetti in what sounded like a halfway decent Austin impression. In response the fans chanted loudly, HELL YEAH!!
"The sorry sack of trash comes out here week after week insisting on bashing old Stone Cold's movie." While Machetti paused, some of the fans who were really getting into the spirit chanted, WHAT!? "He comes out here…" What? "With his little Italian shoes..." What? more fans started joining in, "and his fancy little shirt…" What? "Thinking he can be a better actor then Stone Cold…" What? "Eh Eh! This little sum bitch is lucky Stone Cold didn't come down here, stomp the mudhole out of 'im, and walk 'im dry!" While Machetti paused the fans cheered.
"Now if Stone Cold was really here, the little movie critic down there wouldn't get off so easy," continued Machetti in his Stone Cold impression, "Stone Cold would come down here, stomp him one time…" WHAT? "stomp him two times," WHAT? "hit him with a Stunner," WHAT? "two stunners," WHAT? "then call for a beer…" WHAT? "and have the biggest beer bash you've ever seen! And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold says so!"
The fans cheered loudly as he dropped his mic, then pulled off his hat and t-shirt and dropped them on Santino, who still hadn't moved after getting hit with Machetti's Stunner. Machetti then turned, took Maria by surprise and hoisted her over his shoulder, then headed to the back followed closely by London and Kendrick.
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John Cena had just finished his promo when Machetti was shown in the back accompanied by London, Kendrick, and Maria. "Did you really have to humiliate Santino like that?" Maria asked Machetti.
Machetti smirked then glanced at Paul and Brian for a split second, "Yes," all three of them answered at the same time. "Not only is the guy an idiot, he's a bad wrestler too."
"He's not that bad!" protested Maria.
"Oh please," replied Machetti, "I've kicked his ass more times than I can count. And the fact that he hasn't learned to stay away from me just goes to show you how stupid he really is." Paul and Brian saw where this was going and turned around and began reading over the contract that Brian still had with him. If Machetti and Maria were going to have an important 'discussion' they didn't want to get in the middle. "What were you doing out there anyway?" demanded Machetti.
"Santino asked me to help him with his segment," answered Maria, "why are you getting so worked up?"
"You know how I feel about you and him," said Machetti, "why do you think I'm getting worked up?"
"Well, maybe I had a reason," suggested Maria, "I heard you were talking with Candice before."
"Yeah, I also talked with Hornswoggle, William Regal, the Highlanders, and these two clowns," replied Machetti as he gestured to Paul and Brian as the two clowns. "You on the other hand were out there flirting with that piece of crap that used to call himself Intercontinental Champion."
"I was… you were probably doing the same thing with Candice," snapped Maria as she glared at Machetti.
"I did no such thing," replied Machetti, "Paul, did I do anything with Candice that would be defined as flirting in any way?"
"Um… not really," answered Paul as he looked up from the contract, "but dude, would you mind leaving us out of this."
"If we're going to fix our relationship we need to trust each other," Machetti said to Maria, "I need to trust you that you're not going to go out and flirt with Santino, and you need to trust me that I'm staying loyal and not flirting with Candice. If you can't do that, then… I don't know… maybe we really should see other people."
"You don't mean that," challenged Maria as she stared at Machetti wide-eyed.
"Maybe I do," replied Machetti, before turning to London and Kendrick, "let's go guys, we need to get back to the locker room so we can watch the main event." With that Machetti walked off, Paul and Brian paused to nod at Maria, then followed after him, leaving her staring after them in disbelief.
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John Cena had just made Mr. Kennedy tap out to the STF-U, but no sooner had the bell rung, then Randy Orton, who was 'supposed' to be in Chicago, ran down and attacked Cena. Cena tried to fight back, but Orton silenced him with an RKO. Orton left the ring and took apart the steel steps, then got in, measured up Cena, and bashed him in the face with the steps, sending the Champ crashing to the ground. Orton left the ring and then began pulling apart the announce table. But suddenly the fans let out a loud cheer as Machetti, London, and Kendrick came sprinting down to the ring.
London and Kendrick slid into the ring with Machetti, then darted across it and stood on either side of Orton, keeping him in place. Machetti then came vaulting over the top rope and sent both of them crashing down to the ground with a High Flying Body Press. Paul pulled Machetti up to his feet, while Brian pulled Orton up so they could inflict more punishment, but Orton suddenly poked Kendrick in the eyes, then turned on tail and ran around the ring and up the ramp.
Orton stopped at the top of the ramp and glared down at Machetti, who was now crouching over Cena. Machetti stood up and yelled for the paramedics, then turned and glared at Orton. The Legend Killer gave Machetti a cocky grin then headed to the back as the show came to the close. Had Orton just killed the barely developed Legend of John Cena? What would this mean for No Mercy?
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I'm torn between breaking my promise and putting Machetti in another title match or just letting whatever the WWE has in mind run its course. I have a back up plan, as you can see from the contract, but either way I'm still going to wait to see what's going to happen at No Mercy.
'Till Next Time…
Peace!