Back again, being ridiculous. I don't own Conan, but I own this parody of love.

Time passes, Raven becomes bodyguard, Rachel turns her name into Ran, because the name Rachel reminds her of some dramatic memory. Richard wanted to sound sexy, so his name is now Kogoro. Jimmy decided he sounded too much like a frat boy and changed his name to Shinichi, inspired by a type of cereal Sherlock Holmes used to eat, Shinichi-o's. With all this name changing, Raven decided she wanted a German name, so she started calling herself Uli. Everyone is sitting in a restraunt, eating their hearts out.

Everyone: Lalala, eating, having a great time.

Uli: Nobody get too comfortable! You know what happens when we get too comfortable!

Conan: Hm...?

Uli: Oh, you know, someone either gets shot in the head, poisoned, strangled, blown up, set on fire, beaten to death, thrown off a building, eaten by a squirrel, taken hostage, threatened by someone with a gun, steals a cat, or hides wallets behind books in a library. And at the end, there's bombs.

Uli's appearance seemed to be different now. She went from Raven; the idiot looking tomboy, to Uli- the girl with hair now cut right above her shoulders with average, everyday looking Detective Conan clothes on. (You know, jackets even in the middle of summer, dorky shoes with socks bulging out ridiculously)

Kogoro: Hmmm...I'm feeling...drunk. I'm gonna go seduce ladies half my age. You kids don't run off, and listen for an annoying woman screaming because there's a dead person!

They all nodded, and continued to eat.

Uli: So Ran, how are you today?

Ran: Just thinking about Shinichi...how this one time, he-

Uli: Got annoyed with you talking about him and threw a brick at your face?

Ran: Huh?

Uli: Nothing.

Conan: ...

Ran: Anyway, when Shinichi and I were little, we used to...

Uli: (Completely ignoring her) I wonder where this Shinichi guy is. Like, let's be reasonable, he just all of a sudden decided to start solving cases far away and only returns at the most random moments possible. Why does she keep blabbering on about him? She starts talking, and then looks up and goes into this creepy dream phase.

Ran: It's like it was just yesterday...(looks up and goes into a creepy dream phase)

Uli: See, there she goes again. (turning to look at Conan) Hey, why is he blushing? And he has that stupid look on his face, like he knows this story already. You know, come to think of it, maybe he's Shinichi. He only appears when Conan goes away, and he goes into automated robot detective mode when we're all investigating a case. It's almost like his mind was taken over by grasshoppers that crawled into his brain at night...

Ran and Uli were both in thinking mode, and Conan stared at them like a brainless llama. And of course, a lady suddenly screamed, which opened the case for the next three episodes. It was another boring case, with no comedy relief and no mushy stuff between the characters.

Sleeping Kogoro: It was you! (Conan picks up his arm and makes him point at a man dressed in a cockroach costume) You did it, all because the victim said potato, and you said pototo! It all makes sense when you look at the evidence.

Cockroach man: But how could it be me? I was baking a cake in the kitchen! My dog saw me! I have the perfect alibi!

Sleeping Kogoro: Your dog fails to confirm these details, because if you were baking a cake with your dog, your dog would have frosting on his nose, which he does not!

The cockroach man gets on his knees and cries. He gives everyone some stupid reason for killing the victim. He then pulls out his gun, but before he could go on about how he'll use his big bad gun of death to show everyone who's boss, Uli throws a pocket knife at his arm, knocking it out of his hand. The police arrest the idiot, and everyone goes home and forgets about him the next day.

Back at the agency...

Kogoro, Ran, Conan, and Uli are all sitting around the dining table. Kogoro decides he wants to go to bed, as does Uli. Just as Conan is about to go to bed, Ran randomly decides she wants to call Shinichi.

Ran: I WANNA CALL SHINICHI AND JUST CHECK UP ON HIM TO SEE IF HE'S OKAY. I THINK I WILL DO THAT RIGHT NOW.

Conan: Um...uh...goodnight, Ran-niichan! (he runs up out of the room fiercly while Ran is staring facing the opposite direction, she doesn't even notice he ran out the front door)

Ran: (calling shinichi, tapping her foot, she hears the phone pick up) Hey, Shinichi. How are you?

Conan/Shinichi: Idiot, you always call me late at night or at like four in the morning. I'm not a vampire! I know I resemble one and all but...

Ran: Oh shut up you! So, [insert some random suggestion to hang out soon here]

Conan/Shinichi: How many times do I have to tell you? I'm investigating a very important case involving Elvis! People still think he's alive, Ran. Why can't you understand that?

Ran: I'm sorry Shinichi...I just...I just...(tearing up)

Uli pops out of her room and tells Ran she owes her 3572 sodas now from agreement they made that every time Ran cries, she owes Uli a soda.

Uli: It's an extra three sodas because it's over Shinichi. (grins and goes back into her room)

Ran sighs and starts talking on that phone again. She then notices that the call isn't even connected anymore. She goes in her room and starts crying because...well, because she just does. All the time.

The next day, in an old creepy place, far far away...

Gin and Vodka sat at a dining table and started eating raw eggs, because they're manly like that. They also ate the chickens that layed the eggs as dessert.

Gin: I need to go clean my pistol, because my life sucks.

Vodka: Yeah, same. Hey, guess what?

Gin: Chicken butt.

Vodka: Not this time. This time I'm forserious.

Gin: Alright, what is it?

Vodka: I saw Sherry the other day, but it was like, a mini Sherry.

Gin: What? No way, that means that drug we gave her is like...not how we want it and stuff.

Vodka: Right. I saw her with some old fat guy with an excellent mustache.

Gin: When did this happen? We're always together, so you must have seen this when I was around.

Vodka: It was on our way back from our trip to Fuzzy Wuzzy Land. You were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you.

Gin: Damnit! Well let's find out where this fat old man is then!

To Be Continued...DUNDUNDUN