Chapter Sixty Four: The Elimination Chamber
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Raw was live from Philadelphia Pennsylvania. Last night John Cena had made a surprising return and won the twenty-first annual Royal Rumble. But earlier in the night it was announce that Cena was NOT going to fight Orton at WrestleMania, instead he was going to wrestle Randy Orton for the WWE Championship at No Way Out. But who was going to fight for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania? To answer that William Regal's theme music hit and the Raw General Manager came down to the ring to announce what was going to happen.
"Whoever is WWE Champion after No Way Out," began Regal, "will face the winner of the most brutal, unforgiving structure in the WWE." Regal paused and a video featuring the ELIMINATION CHAMBER appeared on the TitanTron. "THE ELMINATION CHAMBER!" continued Regal, "the sole survivor… will be designated the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania. The participants include: SHAWN MICHAELS!" a video clip of HBK appeared on the TitanTron, "CHRIS JERICHO!!" a clip of Y2J replaced the one of HBK, "JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD!" a clip of JBL replaced the one of Y2J, "JEFF HARDY!!" the crowd cheered loudly as a Hardy clip appeared on the TitanTron, "AND EVEN… THE GAME TRIPLE H!!" The fans applauded the Game but suddenly Riot Time hit and the WWE Intercontinental Champion came out from the back wearing a pair of pants, a button-down shirt and the Intercontinental Championship on his shoulder.
"Regal, you had better be about to announce me as the final competitor in that match," warned Machetti, "I was the runner up in the Royal Rumble, and one way or another I am going to get a title shot!"
"Are you threatening me?" asked Regal.
"No, I'm not threatening you," answered the Intercontinental Champion, "I'm threatening that sixth guy if it isn't me. Regal, if I'm not in that match someone is going to get hurt tonight!"
"Let me get this straight," commented Regal, "you WANT to be in the Elimination Chamber match? That match is the most barbaric, the most brutal match in the entire WWE… and you're willing to hurt someone to get into it?"
"Yup," replied Machetti, "you see. I've already been in an Extreme Elimination Chamber match. After winning that I became the ECW World Champion. You think the Elimination Chamber matches are brutal, that's nothing compared to what I'm going to do to that other guy… if it isn't me."
"I know how to settle this," said Regal, as he turned to the fans, "do you want the WWE Intercontinental Champion Machetti to be included in the Elimination Chamber Match at No Way Out?" The response was a resounding loud cheer. "Well, it seems like they've reached their decision," commented Regal, "and so have I. Machetti… the final entrant in the Number One Contender Elimination Chamber Match will be…" Regal paused and gestured to the TitanTron behind Machetti. The fans erupted in cheers as a clip of Machetti appeared on the screen, "YOU!"
"That's what I wanted to hear!" replied Machetti with a smile, "you make the right choice."
"Well then, sunshine," said Regal, "you're in the match, may God have mercy on your soul!" Riot Time hit as Machetti smiled then turned and headed to the back. Regal was left in the ring as Raw went to a commercial break.
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Backstage Triple H and Shawn Michaels were shown together in a locker room. "You know Shawn," said Triple H, "last night didn't exactly work out that way either of us intended. But at No Way Out, you and I have a chance to get back into the Main Event at WrestleMania. Now in order to do that… we've gotta beat the hell outta each other inside the most demonic and sadistic structure ever created."
"That… that's a little bit of a drawback," commented Michaels.
"It is," agreed Triple H, then he changed the subject. "But, the good thing is, that's not for three weeks. And tonight… I need a tag team partner." The fans cheered when they realized what the Game was hinting at.
"You know this is going to um… require a wardrobe change," pointed out Michaels.
"Ha, one step ahead of you," announced Triple H as he unzipped his shirt to reveal a D-X shirt underneath. Triple H then took out a D-X hat and put that on as well. The crowd popped loudly.
"Gimmie a minute," requested Michaels as he turned and ran off screen. HHH glanced around the room and at the non-existent watch on his wrist and tapped it to see if it was working. But suddenly HBK jumped back into the screen wearing a D-X shirt of his own and a Degeneration X skull cap.
"Wow, Shawn what took you so long?" asked Triple H. "Man, those WWE Shop dot com guys deliver fast, huh?"
"Let's do this," said Shawn as he held his arms up and showed his D-X wristbands.
"Yeah, good luck with that," came a voice, then Machetti walked on camera, still dressed as he was before.
"What do you want, kid?" asked Michaels.
"Oh, nothing," replied Machetti with a smirk, "I just wanted to wish you luck in your match. And I wanted to tell you I'm looking forward to that Elimination Chamber Match at No Way Out."
"Is that right?" questioned Hunter, "look kid, you might have been in the Chamber before, but don't get cocky, so have we. In fact, Shawn and I have been in the Chamber… once… twice… Shawn how many times?"
"Three apiece," answered Shawn. "Not including the one when I was the referee."
"Yeah, wow, that's really something, huh?" commented Machetti, his smirk still present, "but you're both more experience in Royal Rumbles than I am… Hunter, you won the 2002 Royal Rumble and came in runner up in the 2006 Rumble. Shawn, you won the '95 and '96 Rumbles, and you came in runner up in the 2007 Rumble. But you know, that did stop me from eliminating BOTH OF YOU last night." HHH and HBK glared at Machetti, whose smirk grew bigger when he realized he touched a nerve. "It was every man for himself last night, and it's going to be every man for himself at No Way Out. And wow, wouldn't it be interesting if I eliminated both of you then too?"
"Tossing us over the top rope is one thing," Hunter told him, "pinning us for a three count is another thing entirely."
"Kid, you've still got a lot to learn," said Shawn, "but at No Way Out, when the six of us are all locked in that Chamber. I think Hunter and I will be able to teach you another lesson. What its like to face the Showstopper, the Icon, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. And the King of Kings, the Cerebral Assassin, the Game, Triple H." Triple H and Michaels passed Machetti and headed out of the ring, the camera faded and went to the next segment.
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Misterrrr Kennedyyyy… Kennedyyy! Kennedy's theme played in the arena and Raw's resident loudmouth came out from the back and headed down to the ring. Kennedy stood in the middle of the ring and raised his arm up into the air and called from his mic. The mic lowered into Kennedy's hand. "I went to William Regal," Kennedy explained, "and I asked him, 'Please William, don't include me in the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out.' Not because I don't want to be WWE Champion, because I do. It's just that, I wanted something that would have a little more historic value. You know, something that nobody else has been able to do so far. That being… ending the career of one legendary Nature Boy Ric Flair. I'm gonna do something to Ric Flair that, people do to animals, when they can no longer function, when they no longer have value. Ric Flair, you can look me in the eyes, right now, as I tell you... Ric I'm gonna put you down, man. I am going to waste you!"
WOOOOO! Ric Flair's music hit and the Nature Boy came out from the back in a suit. "Kennedy," started Flair, "I've got two things to say to you. Good luck. And... WOOOOO!" Flair's theme hit and the Nature Boy went to the back, leaving Kennedy in the ring on his own. But once Flair was gone, Riot Time hit and WWE Intercontinental Champion Machetti came out from the back with Brian Kendrick and his IC Title. This time, he was dressed to compete. Machetti versus Mr. Kennedy was up next, but first, Raw went to a commercial break.
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Raw came back and Kennedy and Machetti were in the ring. During the break, Lillian Garcia had done the introduction, but then Kennedy did it against as a 'custom' introduction. In which he refereed to himself as the man who would end Ric Flair's career, and Machetti as the man who choked when it came down to the final two in the Royal Rumble last night, Kendrick and the referee had to restrain Machetti from attacking Kennedy. But now, just as Raw was coming bac, the referee had handed the Intercontinental Title belt to someone at ringside and then called for the bell, starting the match.
Kennedy and Machetti met in the middle of the ring with a lock up, but Machetti got in a side headlock. But Kennedy grabbed Machetti and lifted him up from behind looking for a back suplex. But Machetti got free and slipped down behind Kennedy. Machetti shoved Kennedy into the ropes, and when Kennedy bounced off Machetti quickly grabbed him with a roll up, ONE… TW… Kennedy kicked out. Both Kennedy and Machetti shot back up to their feet and stared at each other.
Machetti and Kennedy met in the middle of the ring and locked up, this time Kennedy took control with a headlock of his own. Machetti struggled to get out of it, but Kennedy took his foot and pressed it into the back of Machetti's right knee, forcing Machetti down onto his knee, giving Kennedy more leverage in his headlock. But Machetti elbowed Kennedy in the stomach a couple of times and fought up to his feet. Machetti pushed Kennedy off of him and whipped him into the ropes, Kennedy came back and Machetti caught him with a hip toss, but while he tossed Kennedy, Machetti did a back-flip in mid air and slammed Kennedy down onto his back. Machetti shot back up to his feet and ran to the ropes, then jumped up onto the top one, back-flipped off of it, SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! Machetti made the cover, ONE… TWO… Kennedy got his shoulder up.
Machetti got back up while Kennedy fought up to his knees, Machetti went over to Kennedy and pulled him up to his feet, then kneed him in the stomach and whipped him across the ring, but Kennedy reversed it. Machetti went into the ropes and came off with a handspring HANDSRPING HEADSCISSORS TAKE DOWN! Kennedy went rolling across the ring and onto his stomach. Machetti shot back up, ran to the ropes, then came off and nailed Kennedy with a dropkick to the face, knocking Kennedy onto his back. Machetti got back up, ran at Kennedy did a back-flip, RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Machetti covered, ONE… TWO… THR… Kennedy kicked out.
Machetti rolled off of Kennedy and got up to his feet. He noticed Kennedy getting up as well and went to the corner and climbed up onto the top rope. Kennedy got up to his knees and was almost up. Machetti launched out of the corner looking to drive his feet down into Kennedy's back MUSHROOM STOM—KENNEDY MOVED! Machetti landed hard on his right leg, staggered then dropped down to the mat. Kennedy pounced like a mongoose on a snake and went for the pin, ONE… TWO… Machetti kicked out of it.
Kennedy got off of Machetti and got up to his feet, then bent down to pull Machetti up with him. But Machetti hit a couple of shots to Kennedy's stomach. Then took control with an uppercut, sending Kennedy staggering backwards. Machetti got up to his feet and whipped Kennedy into the corner. Machetti ran at Kennedy did a handspring then a front-flip, TURNBUCKLE SENTON! Machetti staggered away from Kennedy and held his right knee, the mushroom stomp had tweaked his knee, and the handspring and front flip he had just done wasn't helping.
Kennedy must have sensed the weakness, because he rushed out from the corner and clipped Machetti's right knee from behind, taking Machetti down to the mat. Machetti rolled away from Kennedy and attempted to get to the ropes, but Kennedy acme over and grabbed Machetti's legs. Kennedy dragged Machetti over to the corner then got out of the ring and crotched Machetti on the ring post. Kennedy took Machetti's leg, brought it back KENNEDY SMASHED MACHETTI'S KNEE ON THE STEEL RING POST! Machetti screamed out in pain and Kennedy went to do it again, but Kendrick came sprinting around the ring and made the save. Kennedy quickly rolled back into the ring and glared at Kendrick who was glancing at Machetti with concern.
Machetti rolled into the middle of the ring and held his knee, but Kennedy came over and blatantly stomped on Machetti's injured knee, driving his boot down into it over and over again. Kennedy backed away from Machetti and into the ropes while the Intercontinental Champion rolled onto his stomach. Kennedy came off of the ropes and kicked Machetti right in the knee, causing Machetti to let out a loud yelp of pain.
Kennedy walked around Machetti and stood by his head. Machetti groan in pain and held his knee, then glared up at Kennedy. Kennedy leaned over and mouthed off to Machetti, "What's the matter?" taunted Kennedy, "you're leg hurting? You won't beat me chump!" In response to Kennedy's taunting the fans started booing loudly. Kennedy walked back over to Machetti's legs and grabbed his right one. Kennedy yanked Machetti's leg up into the air then rammed Machetti down into the mat, slamming his injured knee into the canvas. Kennedy took a sick satisfaction of watching Machetti trash on the mat in pain.
Kennedy backed away from Machetti and into the corner. Machetti fought up off of the ground and onto his knees and while Kennedy measured him up from behind. Machetti struggled and eventually got up to his feet, but Kennedy ran in and viciously kicked Machetti in the back of the knee. Machetti ended up doing a flip in the air, then went crashing down to the mat with a thud. Machetti yelled out in pain and held his knee, Kennedy was really working it over.
Kennedy walked back around Machetti and went to mouth off of him again, but Machetti suddenly shot up and nailed a surprise uppercut. Kennedy staggered backwards and Machetti managed to fight up to his feet. Machetti jumped up into the air and went for a corkscrew dropkick, but Kennedy caught Machetti's legs and slammed him down to the mat. Kennedy lifted Machetti's right leg up into the air, then kicked him squarely in the back of the knee. Machetti screamed in pain and thrashed on the mat, seeing such 'positive' results, Kennedy kicked him again, earning another loud yelled of pain.
Kennedy took Machetti's leg and positioned it in between his legs, then he dropped down onto the mat for a leg breaker, earning another scream from Machetti when his knee was snapped to the side. Kennedy quickly capitalized with a pin attempt, ONE… TWO… THR… Machetti kicked out. Kennedy got back up and glared down at Machetti, he had giving him the easy way out of this one, Machetti just had to allow himself to get pinned and it would be all over. But Machetti had to go and kick out, that did nothing but guarantee him more pain, and a possible fractured knee.
Kennedy got backed across the ring then did the Ric Flair strut over to Machetti, earning himself a loud round of boos from the crowd. Kennedy reached Machetti's legs and stomped on the back of his knee, Nature Boy style. The boos from the fans got louder as Kennedy continued to mock Flair. "What's the matter?" taunted Kennedy, "you don't like that? Then how's this!" Kennedy grabbed Machetti's legs then locked in THE FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK! KENNEDY LOCKED IN THE FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!
Now the boos were almost deafening, everyone was booing Kennedy's lack of respect for Ric Flair. Machetti screamed out in pain as Kennedy continued to work over his knees. Kennedy just laughed and let out a loud, "Wooo!" Which got him another loud round of boos from the crowd. The referee came over and asked Machetti if he wanted to give up, "NO!!" Machetti practically screamed.
Machetti gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, then sat up and attacked Kennedy's legs in an attempt to break the hold, but Kennedy kept them firmly locked in, further damaging Machetti's legs. Machetti laid back on the mat in an attempt to catch his breath, ONE… Machetti quickly sat back up, he almost let himself get pinned. Machetti reached behind him and pushed himself up off of the mat with his arms, then started dragging both himself and Kennedy over to the ropes. Machetti got about a few inches but Kennedy kept him from going any further. "You're not going anywhere!" snapped Kennedy as he kept Machetti away from the ropes and then applied even more pressure to the figure four.
Machetti screamed in agony and the referee came over and asked if he wanted to give up again, in response Machetti just shouted "NEVER!!" Kennedy just laughed and let out another "Woooo!" The fans booed loudly and started cheering Machetti, Kendrick turned to the fans behind him and started a Machetti chant. The fans cheered Machetti and chanted louder and louder. Machetti gritted his teeth and pushed himself up off of the mat again, then he suddenly dropped to the mat and spun to the side, Machetti took Kennedy by surprise and rolled the loudmouth onto his side. Machetti attempted to get Kennedy onto his stomach to reverse the pressure on the hold, but Kennedy reached his arm out behind him for balance and kept himself on his side.
The Machetti chant grew louder and louder. Kendrick jumped up onto the ring apron and cheered along with the fans, MACHETTI… MACHETTI… MACHETTI! Machetti heard the chanting and started violently twist to the side, Kennedy lost his balance MACHETTI GOT KENNEDY ONTO HIS STOMACH! Machetti immediately started applying pressure to the reverse figure four. Then he quickly grabbed Kennedy's legs AND COUNTERED INTO THE SHARPSHOOTER! MACHETTI HAD THE SHARPSHOOTER LOCKED IN!
The fans cheered as Kennedy started screaming out in pain, now his legs were the ones getting worked over. The referee asked Kennedy if he wanted to give up, but Kennedy shook his head then reached out and started dragging both himself and Machetti over to the ropes. Machetti struggled to keep Kennedy back in the middle of the ring, but Kennedy had almost a twenty pound weight advantage on Machetti and managed to drag him over to ropes. Kennedy reached out AND GOT THE ROPES! The referee came over and called for the rope break. Machetti glared over his shoulder at Kennedy then reluctantly released the hold.
Machetti got up and gingerly stood on his right leg, while Kennedy pulled himself over to the ropes and back up to his feet. Machetti hobbled over to Kennedy and clubbed him across the back, driving him down into the ropes. The referee came over and scolded Machetti for his questionable use of the ropes. But while the referee was scolding Machetti, Kennedy brought his leg up, LOW BLOW! Machetti staggered backwards and held his nuts.
Kennedy rushed over and grabbed Machetti then went to capitalize with his finisher MIC CHEC—MACHETTI ELBOWED OUT OF IT! Machetti picked Kennedy up and held him up in front of him, MACHETE'S BLADE! Machetti hooked both of Kennedy's legs, ONE… TWO…THREE! HE GOT THE PIN! Riot Time hit and Kendrick quickly got in the ring and helped Machetti back up to his feet. Kendrick took Machetti's Intercontinental Title and put it on his shoulder, then went to lead Machetti out of the ring, but Machetti suddenly shook his head and pulled away from Kendrick.
The music stopped as Machetti limped over to Kennedy and stared down at him, a smirk appeared on Machetti's face as he leaned over Kennedy and shouted, "WOOOOOO!" Machetti grinned down at Kennedy then Kendrick came over and helped Machetti out of the ring as Riot Time picked up again. Kendrick and Machetti headed to the back leaving Kennedy in the ring glaring after them as the segment ended and Raw went to a commercial break.
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Raw came back from the commercial and Kendrick was shown helping Machetti limp backstage. Maria came up to them dressed to compete in her match against Melina. "Hey, how's your knee?" asked Maria, who had obviously seen Machetti's match.
"It hurt like hell," Machetti answered truthfully, "but I've had worse. Enough of that though, are you ready for you match?"
"Uh huh," answered Maria with a nod of her head.
"Brian, go with her," instructed Machetti.
"Are you sure?" asked Kendrick, "what about you?"
"I'll be alright," Machetti assured him, "just go out there and make sure nothing bad happens. I'll head back to the locker room."
Machetti stepped away from Kendrick and then limped off, Maria turned to Kendrick and shrugged then the two of them headed down to the ring. The camera cut and went to the arena where JR and King showed a recap of what happened at the Royal Rumble last night, between Maria, Ashley, Playboy, Santino, and the Fat Oily Guy.
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Machetti was shown sitting in the locker room. The Maria/Melina match had just ended. Melina had pulled Maria's tights down in an attempted sunset fljp, but Maria sat on her and got the pin despite the wardrobe malfunction. While Maria was celebrating Kendrick awkwardly tapped her on the shoulder and pointed out the condition of her tights. Maria smiled sheepishly and pulled them back up, much to the disappointment of the crowd. Kendrick and Maria then headed to the back.
Machetti raised an eyebrow at the TV screen, but then there was a knock at the door and Santino Marella barged in. "Machetti, what-a do you think-a you are doing?" demanded Santino.
"I'm relaxing my leg after my match with Kennedy," Machetti answered as if it was obvious. It actually was.
"I did-a not mean-a that!" snapped Santino, "Why-a aren't you trying-a to stop Maria from posing for that-a Boobie Magazine?"
"Boobie Magazine?" repeated Machetti.
"Dammit! You know what I mean!" shouted Santino, "how-a could you let her-a pose for Playboy!?"
"Actually, she hasn't decided yet," replied Machetti casually, "and in all honesty it's not my decision to make. It's Maria's. She's supported me for the majority of my career so far, so I'm going to support her no matter what decision she makes."
"So you're going to-a just stand-a by and let her pose for that-a rag!?" challenged Santino.
"Only if she wants to," Machetti told him, "you see Santiko, that's just another one of the differences between us. I'll let her make her own decision, because it's not my decision to make. If you were in my position, you'd do everything you could to keep her from posing. That's why you were the first one eliminated from the Rumble last night, and I was the last one eliminated."
"You can't-a talk-a to me like-a dat," snapped Santino, "Machetti. You might be preparing for your little Sodimization Chamber, but next-a week. I'm-a going to beat some sense into you!"
"Sodimiazation?" repeated Machetti with a raised eyebrow, "well if that's the case, I'd better wear a belt. But if you really want to challenge me, fine. Next week I'll take you on. Just don't blame anyone else when I beat you."
"You-a are the one-a that's going to be beaten," replied Santino, "in fact…" Santino rushed into the locker room and kicked Machetti hard in the right knee. Machetti was knocked off of the bench he was sitting on. Santino turned around and shouted, "Come on!" prompting Carlito to enter the locker room. Santino and Carlito dragged the struggling Machetti over to the door of the locker room and positioned Machetti's leg in the doorway. Santino yanked the door closed and slammed it on Machetti's right knee.
Machetti groaned in pain as Santino and Carlito glared down at him. Carlito pulled out and apple and took a bite, then spat it in Machetti's face. The two of them turned and left the locker room, leaving a seething Machetti lying on the floor of the room as Raw went to another commercial break.
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There you go Santino fans, (if there are any) Santino finally got the better of Machetti in one of their altercations. The match is still on next week no matter what I have to move around.
Also I need to ask you guys to do a few things for me. First, I put a poll up on my profile page where you pick the kind of reaction Machetti receives when he comes out. I'm going to use the results to make the crowd's reactions to Machetti more realistic.
Second, Machetti is in the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out. I have yet to decide on my plans for WrestleMania, so I need you guys to submit a review telling me your honest opinion. Should Machetti win the Elimination Chamber Match and fight for the Championship at WrestleMania? I don't want just a 'yes' or a 'no' I'd like a reason. If you don't think he's been in the business long enough to Main Event The Grand Daddy of them all, that works. But you need to write that because your reviews may influence my decision on the outcome of the match. I don't have to make the EC normal, I could always do what I did with the Extreme EC and do my own version. So yeah… review please!
'Till Next Time…
Peace!