Chapter Seventy-One: WrestleMania Rewind
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(A/N: I go on vacation for one effing week and all hell breaks loose. Hardy gets himself suspended and I lose my internet connection. Sorry I couldn't update sooner, I was on Spring Break all this week, and I couldn't get an internet connection for my lap top. I had this chapter done by Thursday despite that, I only managed to borrow someone's computer to check my e-mail. So as a result, I had to wait until I got home ot post this chapter, so it's out late. On top of that, I didn't get to watch ANY wrestling this week, I missed Raw due to time-zone differences (I was in California) and I was out at dinner when ECW was on so I missed that too. But thanks to YouTube, I still managed to get this chapter done.
Now to sort out the Jeff Hardy situation; in my story Jeff Hardy is not the Intercontinental Champion, Machetti is. So when Jeff lost to the IC title to Chris Jericho, that didn't happen in my world. Instead Jeff Hardy lost his spot in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match in a Last Chance Match for Chris Jericho match during Raw. Jericho is now in the Money in the bank, Jeff Hardy is suspended for 60 days, and Punk and Morrison qualified on ECW and Smackdown respectively making this year's Money in the Bank match once again an EIGHT-MAN contest featuring Mr. Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin, Machetti, Carlito, MVP, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, and John Morrison.
Now that that's all cleared up (at least I hope it is) ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!)
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Raw was live from the Bradley Center in Milwaukee Wisconsin. Melina's Paparazzi theme hit and the red carpet was rolled out and the paparazzi rush out from the back with their cameras. Melina came out from the back and strutted down the red carpet with Women's Champion Beth Phoenix. Beth quickly got in the ring but Melina climbed up on the ring apron and did her usual split-entrance and went under the bottom rope and into the ring.
Raw cut to a recap of WrestleMania 23 and showed the Lumberjill Match between Melina and Ashley for the Women's Championship. The recap cut and showed Beth and Melina in the ring, Melina had a mic in her hand.
"You know," started Melina. "I was really looking forward to beat Ashley again tonight. But apparently she is injured and can't be here." Melina made a fake crying gesture, she didn't seem overly upset. "Aww, typical Playboy Cover Girl, you know, looks great on the outside, but has nothing on the inside. So tonight, instead of having a WrestleMania Rematch, we are gonna have a WrestleMania Prematch. Where, once again, I am going to show everyone that I am more than just a pretty face."
Melina dropped the mic and With Legs Like That hit. Melina and Beth turned to face the entrance ramp as the WWE's newest Playboy Cover Girl came out from the back accompanied by Candice and Machetti. While Maria and Candice simply walked down the entrance ramp, Machetti sprinted down it, then jumped up and slid in the ring all the way across it and dropped down onto the outside. Melina turned to Machetti and laughed but he shrugged and said, "Meant to do that," then he got up and went over to the commentary table. Apparently he was going to be a special guest commentator for this 'WrestleMania Prematch'.
While Machetti got situated at the announce table Maria and Candice stood halfway up the entrance ramp and gestured to the TitanTron, pyro exploded and Maria's Playboy cover dropped down in front of it.
"What's even better is you can check out what's inside," commented King as Maria and Candice got in the ring.
"King, calm down," said Machetti. "And for the record, I already have."
"Well of course we can," JR told the other two. "I love the articles."
"There's article in there!?" questioned King in surprise.
"Down boy," said Machetti with a chuckle.
Maria jumped up onto the middle rope and did a little shake then turned and smiled at the announce table before jumping down and getting in the middle of the ring and got ready to start the match against Melina.
"And Candice Michelle at ringside as well," commented King. "She looks beautiful in black, look at that. Candice is going to be Maria's tag team partner at WrestleMania… BunnyMania!"
"BunnyMania!" repeated JR not nearly excited as his partner.
"It should be a good show," said Machetti. "But lets start this thing."
As if on cue the referee called for the bell and the match was started. Maria and Melina locked up in the middle of the ring but Melina slapped Maria across the face, backing her into the ropes, then she kicked her in the stomach bringing Maria down to her knees. "As we all are aware of, Candice is a former Playboy Cover Girl herself. And our good friend Snoop Dogg is gonna be there!"
"Candice is also the GoDaddyGirl," Machetti reminded them. "How many Super Bowls has she been in commercials for so far? Three I think."
In the ring Melina went to whip Maria into the ropes, but Maria reversed it. Melina came off and Maria caught her with a boot to the stomach. Maria quickly did a handstand and got her legs around Melina's head… "Look at this…" said King, but Melina pushed Maria's legs off of her.
Melina went to follow up with a shot to Maria, but Maria ducked down and grabbed both of Melina's legs then took her down to the mat with a double leg take down. Then she flipped over Melina for a bridge pin, "There you go Maria," called out Machetti. The referee counted ONE… T… but Melina kicked out.
"And the pinning combination," commented JR. "Jack Doan one of the most envied men in the building right now. Officiating this contest."
"I'm one of the others," added Machetti. "I'm dating that lovely Diva you see in the ring right now."
Maria whipped Melina into the ring then ran at her but Melina got her feet up and Maria ran into them. Melina came out of the corner and grabbed Maria but Maria fought out with an elbow to the face. "Maria, as beautiful as she is," said JR, "is an extremely competitive…"
"Whoa!" exclaimed King as Maria planted Melina with a snapmare, then went for a pin.
"And a snapmare takeover, then a pinning combination," said JR. The referee counted ONE… TWO... but Melina kicked out.
"Stay on her Maria," Machetti said out loud, "Don't let her catch her breath!"
"All of our Divas our competitive JR," pointed out King, remembering JR's earlier comment. "But they're beautiful as well!"
Maria pulled Melina up and backed her into a corner then lifted her foot and pressed it into Melina's throat. The referee came over and warned Maria about the choke, but suddenly Santino Marella came out from the back carrying a copy of Maria's Playboy Magazine.
"Now, what the hell is he doing here?" demanded Machetti.
Melina elbowed Maria off of her and knocked her down to the mat. "Hey, do we need Santino out here right now?" asked King.
"No we don't," replied Machetti, somewhat angrily as Melina planted Maria with a running facebuster. "We had a perfectly good match going here. Can't he mind his own business?"
"And he's got his own copy of the magazine," pointed out King.
"Yeah, well that's the only way he's going to see Maria naked," Machetti told him.
Melina pulled Maria up to her knees and locked in a modified sleeper. "If your gonna come out here, you could at least bring a copy of that magazine over here," said King.
"Oh come on King, I'm sure you have like three copies at home," commented Machetti.
King was saved from answering when JR made a statement, "Santino doesn't seem pleased that Maria is on the cover of Playboy."
"Well that's none of his concern," snapped Machetti. "It was Maria's decision, and he just has to deal with it. Personally, I'm proud of her, I can't see why he can't be."
In the ring Maria suddenly dropped down and caught Melina with a sit down jawbreaker and managed to free herself from the hold Melina had her in. Melina and Maria both stood up and Maria hit a pair of forearms then ducked a clothesline from Melina. Maria grabbed Melina from behind and ran her into the ropes, but Melina grabbed on to keep from bouncing off, causing Maria to tumble down into the middle of the ring.
Melina charged at Maria and tried to slap her, but Maria stayed down on the mat then hit a shot to the midsection. Only Melina retaliated by shoved Maria down on the mat. Suddenly Santino climbed up onto the ring apron and showed off Maria's Playboy cover.
"Now why is Santino on the ring?" wondered King.
"I don't know, but I'm taking him off," answered Machetti. That was followed by the sound of him taking off his head phones and standing up.
The referee admonished Santino and told him to stay out of the way, while Maria took Melina down with a shot to the face. Suddenly Machetti came from behind and grabbed Santino's ankles and pulled, causing him to fall and hit the ring apron face-first. Santino fell down to the floor and Machetti glared down at him, then glanced up at Maria who had watched the whole altercation, Machetti called out, "Heads up," and pointed behind Maria.
Maria turned around and ducked a kick from Melina, then ran behind her and planted her with a bulldog. Melina rolled onto her back and Maria went to the corner and climbed up onto the top rope. Maria launched off and came crashing down on Melina for a leg drop then made a cover, ONE… TWO… THREE! SHE GOT IT!
Maria's theme hit, but on the outside of the ring Beth Phoenix came around the corner and glared at Machetti. "Hey calm down," protested Machetti. "I'm not gonna fight I woman." Suddenly Machetti dropped down and Candice ran over, ran up Machetti's back and took down Phoenix with a flying clothesline.
The fans cheered as Machetti and Candice got in the ring then raised Maria's arms up in the air. "Here is your winner, MARIA!" announced Lillian Garcia. Machetti, Maria, and Candice stood in the middle of the ring while a recap of the end of the match was shown. When the replay was over Melina and Beth where standing near Santino on the outside. The three of them glared at the three in the ring as the backed up the entrance ramp.
But then A CAR CRASH SOUNDED THROUGH THE ARENA! MICK FOLEY'S MUSIC HIT! Santino, Beth, and Melina quickly got out of the way as Foley came out from the back and headed down the ramp, HE WAS DRESSED TO COMPETE!! Machetti smiled and stared at Foley in disbelief, as the Hardcore Legend headed down to the ring and got in. But before anything could happen, Raw went to a commercial break.
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When Raw came back, Machetti and Foley were still in the ring, and Maria and Candice were standing at ringside. Lillian got in the ring with a mic, "the following WRESTLEMANIA REMATCH is a STREET FIGHT where there are no disqualifications and no count outs, the only way to win is by pinfall or submission. Introducing first, from Detroit Michigan, he is the WWE Intercontinental Champion, MACHETTI!" Machetti raised his arms up in the air and did a standing back-flip, then turned his attention back to Foley. "And the opponent, from Long Island New York, he is the Hardcore Legend, MICK FOLEY!!"
Lillian got out of the ring and the referee called for the bell, and the match was underway. Maria and Candice both cheered Machetti on at ringside while he and Foley circled the ring. Machetti and Foley lunged at each other and met in the middle of the ring for a lock up. Machetti quickly slipped behind Foley then lifted him up from behind and slammed him down to the mat. Machetti slipped around Foley and locked in a headlock with Foley still on the mat. Foley elbowed Machetti in the chest and fought free, then they both got up to their feet.
Foley looked surprised that Machetti had taken control so quickly, but Machetti answered unasked question. "You've been sitting at home all year, I've only gotten better."
"Well, lets see how much better," replied Foley as he called for another lock up.
Machetti shrugged and met Foley in the middle of the ring for a second lock up. Machetti quickly took hold of Foley's arm, then slipped behind him and pinned the arm to his back for a wristlock. Foley pulled away from Machetti, then wrenched Machetti's arm in retaliation, but Machetti did a forward roll to straighten his arm, then he wrenched Foley's arm again, reversing the pressure on their arms. Machetti jumped up and dropkicked Foley in the knee, then dropped down and drove Foley's head down to the mat for a DDT all in one motion. Machetti rolled Foley onto his back and went for the first cover of the match up, ONE… TW… Foley kicked out.
Machetti rolled off of Foley and both of them got back up to their feet. Foley charged at Machetti and went for a clothesline, but Machetti ducked it then spun around and punched Foley square across the face. Foley came back with a punch of his own, then chopped Machetti across the chest. Machetti staggered backwards but chopped Foley right back, then followed up with a string of three right hands. Foley was sent staggering then swung at Machetti for a right hook, but Machetti ducked it then caught Foley with a big uppercut. Machetti followed up with a spinning wheel kick and knocked Foley on his back.
Foley rolled away from Machetti and got back up to his feet, Machetti turned around and faced him with a 'told you so' expression on his face. Foley charged across the ring and locked up with Machetti, then whipped him into the corner. Foley ran after Machetti, but Machetti jumped up onto the top rope, then back-flipped off and landed behind Foley. Foley spun around, but Machetti jumped up and launched him into the corner with a corkscrew dropkick. Machetti backed away from Foley until he was halfway across the ring, then did a handspring and a front flip, TURNBUCKLE SENTON!! Machetti dropped down and rolled away from Foley, then got up to his feet. Machetti jumped back up and sent Foley flying across the ring with a hurricurana, then got up and climbed up onto the top rope. Machetti launched across the ring at Foley and connected, DIVING HEADBUTT! Machetti hooked the leg for another pin attempt, ONE… TWO… TH… Foley kicked out.
Machetti glanced down at Foley, slightly surprised that he had kicked out, then glanced out of the ring at his 'cheerleaders' who shouted different variations of "keep it up". Machetti smiled and pulled Foley up to his feet then went to whip him across the ring, but Foley reversed it and sent Machetti into the ropes. Machetti bounced off of the ropes, did a handspring, then launched himself up and got his legs wrapped around Foley's head. Machetti swung to the side and took Foley down with a handspring head-scissors takedown. Machetti got up and Foley rolled across the ring to the ropes, but Machetti ran over and hit a baseball slide, launching Foley under the bottom rope and down to the floor.
Foley hit the floor with a thud, and the referee went over to the ropes to see if he was okay. A Street Fight was no count outs and no disqualifications so Foley could lie out there all night. But Foley didn't lie there, instead he rolled over to the barricade and pulled himself up to his feet. Machetti saw Foley getting up and quickly ran to the ropes on the opposite side of the ring, then bounced off and sprinted across, Machetti jumped up and springboarded off of the top rope with a back-flip just as Foley was turning around, SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS PLANCHA!! BOTH FOLEY AND MACHETTI ARE DOWN!
Maria and Candice ran over to Machetti and helped him up. Machetti nodded his thanks then glanced at Foley who was lying out cold on his back. Machetti went over to Foley and covered him on the floor for a pin, the referee got out of the ring and counted… ONE… TWO… THRE… FOLEY KICKED OUT! Machetti shook his head, the delayed count had probably cost him on that one. Now, if Machetti was still the same Machetti from this time last year, be probably would have flipped out and attacked the referee, but Machetti controlled his temper and stood back up.
Machetti went over to Foley and pulled him up to his feet, then rolled him into the ring. Machetti turned around and raised his arms up in the air, the fans on that side of the ring cheered. Machetti smiled then rolled back in the ring, but Foley got back up and started stomping on Machetti's back. Machetti fought his way back up to his feet by hitting some shots to Foley's stomach, sending Foley staggering backwards. But when Machetti was back up, Foley ran at him and took him down with a clothesline. Foley pulled Machetti back up and whipped him into the corner, then ran at Machetti and nailed him with a turnbuckle clothesline.
Machetti slumped against the turnbuckle, but Foley grabbed him and lifted him up, then turned Machetti upside down and tied him in the tree of woe. Foley crossed the ring and stood in the opposite corner. Maria and Candice climbed up onto the ring apron and attempted to free Machetti's legs, but when Foley did the 'Bang-Bang' taunt, then charged across the ring, the two Playboy Cover Girls jumped down and got out of the way. Allowing Foley to drop down and drive his elbow into Machetti's face. Foley rolled away from the corner and pulled himself up with the ropes, while the two divas once again got on the ring apron, this time they managed to free Machetti, whose legs fell free causing him to land on his face on the mat in the corner.
Maria and Candice climbed back down off of the apron while Machetti shook the cobwebs out of his head. Only Foley came back and pulled Machetti to his feet then pushed him back into the corner. Foley lifted Machetti up onto the top rope, then climbed up onto the middle rope across from him. Foley threw Machetti's arm over his shoulder, then climbed up onto the top rope, SUPERPLEX—MACHETTI FOUGHT HIM OFF! Machetti hit Foley with a big headbutt, then followed up with an uppercut and a pair of right hands, FOLEY FELL AND HIT THE MAT! Machetti stood on the top rope then came off with a back-flip and a leg drop, SHOOTING STAR PRESS LEG DROP!! Machetti hooked Foley's leg for a pin, ONE… TWO… THRE… FOLEY KICKED OUT!!
Machetti rolled off of Foley and stared down at him in surprise, then turned and stared at Maria and Candice, who both looked surprised as well. Machetti glanced down at Foley again, then turned to the two Divas, "Get me a table!" Maria looked at Candice, who shrugged, then they lifted the ring skirt and pulled out a table and slid it in the ring. Machetti took the table and dragged it into the middle of the ring, then set it up. Machetti went over to Foley and pulled him to his feet, then dragged him over to the table and rolled him on top of it. Machetti climbed up onto the table and pulled Foley up to his feet as well. But suddenly Foley kicked Machetti in the stomach, then hooked his arms, DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT—NO! MACHETTI FOUGHT OUT OF IT! Machetti shoved Foley backwards, FOLEY FELL OFF OF THE TABLE! Machetti ran across the table then did a back-flip, SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF OF THE TABLE!! Machetti went for a pin on Foley, ONE… TWO… THR… FOLEY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!
Machetti came to the conclusion that he'd have to do everything short of driving a car over Foley to get a pin, so then decided that he'd make the Hardcore Legend tap out. Machetti grabbed Foley's legs and crossed them looking for the sharpshooter, BUT FOLEY KICKED HIM OFF! Foley pulled himself up to his feet then lunged forward and decked Machetti with a BIG clothesline. Foley got back up and pushed the table into a corner, then he went to an opposite one… AND PULLED OUT MR. SOCKO! Maria and Candice both stared at the sock in horror as Foley slipped it on his hand, then held his arm up and waited for Machetti to get up. Machetti stood up and turned to face Foley, FOLEY LOCKED IN THE MANDIBLE CLAW!
Machetti struggled as Foley forced the disgusting sock into his mouth and pinched his mandible with his fingers. Suddenly Machetti jumped up and dropkicked Foley in the knee, Foley staggered backwards AND BROKE THE HOLD! Machetti crawled away from Foley, then slid under the bottom rope and dropped down to the floor. Maria and Candice quickly ran over to see if he was okay. Machetti reached out and pulled himself up with the ring apron and made a big deal over spitting and wiping his hand over his mouth in order to rid himself from the after taste of the sock.
"Let me help," offered Maria. She grabbed Machetti's face the brought her lips to his and kissed him. When Maria broke the kiss, both of them were smiling. "Better?"
"Yeah, much better," replied Machetti, "thanks." Machetti suddenly shoved Maria and stepped to the side to avoid a baseball slide from Foley. Candice ran over to Maria and helped her up while Machetti and Foley started trading shots and brawled at ringside. Machetti hit a big uppercut, then grabbed Foley and whipped him towards the steps, FOLEY SMASHED KNEE-FIRST INTO THE STAIRS!! Foley flipped over the stairs and crashed to the floor on the other side. Foley held his knee as Machetti came around the ring and pulled him up to his feet, Machetti kneed Foley in the stomach then rolled him into the ring and quickly got in after him.
Machetti got up and pulled Foley up to his feet as well, then went to whip him across the ring, but Foley reversed it. Machetti was sent into the ropes, but countered by jumped up onto the top rope, then did a springboard back-flip and took Foley down with a springboard moonsault. Machetti rolled off of Foley and got back up, then ran to the ropes and came off with a handspring followed by a back-flip, handspring moonsault—FOLEY GOT HIS KNEES UP! Machetti went stomach-first into Foley's knees, but Machetti's two hundred fifteen pound weight coming down on Foley's knee did a number on it.
Machetti and Foley rolled over to the ropes and pulled themselves up on opposite sides of the ring. Then they turned and charged across the ring (well, Foley hobbled). Foley went for a clothesline, but Machetti ducked it, both of them spun around and Machetti kicked Foley in the gut then grabbed his head, IMPALER—FOLEY FOUGHT FREE! Foley kicked Machetti in the stomach then hooked both of his arm, DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT—MACHETTI LIFTED FOLEY UP AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN TO THE MAT! Machetti quickly crossed Foley's legs and put his own leg through, then rolled Foley onto his stomach, SHARPSHOOTER! MACHETTI HAS THE SHARPSHOOTER LOCKED IN!!
Foley screamed out in pain as Machetti used the sharpshooter to apply pressure to his already injured knee. The referee came over and asked Foley if he wanted to tap, but Foley shook his head in the negative. Foley gritted his teeth then started crawling over to the ropes, FOLEY GRABBED THE BOTTOM ROPE! BUT MACHETTI KEPT THE SHARPSHOOTER LOCKED IN! There were no rope breaks in a Street Fight (at least not in my version of a Street Fight). Foley screamed out then lunged under the bottom rope and pulled himself out of the ring. Machetti felt his back against the ropes and released the hold, allowing Foley to drop down to the floor.
Foley slid his hand under the ring skirt and grabbed something, while Machetti came over and reached for Foley from inside the ring. But suddenly Foley pulled a chair out from under the ring, FOLEY BLASTED MACHETTI'S FACE IN!! Machetti staggered backwards and fell on his back in the middle of the ring. Foley took the chair and got in the ring, then went over to Machetti and went for a pin, ONE… TWO… THRE… MACHETTI GOT HIS SHOULDER UP!!
Foley got off of Machetti and picked up the chair, then waited for the Intercontinental Champion to stand up. Machetti fought up to his feet and turned around, Foley swung the chair, MACHETTI RAN UNDER IT! Foley spun around to face Machetti, but then MACHETTI DROPKICKED THE CHAIR INTO FOLEY'S FACE! Foley fell backwards and landed on his back. Machetti got back up and grabbed the chair, THEN SMASHED IT DOWN ON FOLEY'S KNEE! Machetti hit Foley's knee with the chair over and over again, looking to really work it over. After five brutal chair shots Machetti dropped the chair then grabbed Foley's legs looking for the sharpshooter, FOLEY PUSHED MACHETTI OFF!
Machetti went into the ropes and came back, Foley shot up and kicked him in the stomach, DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT—MACHETTI FOUGHT OUT OF IT! Machetti grabbed Foley's legs and flipped him into his back, then crossed them and put his leg through, SHARPSHOOTER! MACHETTI HAS THE SHARPSHOOTER LOCKED IN AGAIN! Foley screamed out in pain and agony and prepared to tap out, but ten he noticed what his hand was currently lying on top of. FOLEY SMASHED MACHETTI IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR!!
Foley pulled free from Machetti and staggered up to his feet, then he grabbed Machetti and dragged him over to the table in the corner and rolled him on top of it. Foley walked around the table then climbed up onto the top rope, looking to come off and put Machetti through it. BUT MARIA JUMPED UP AND GRABBED FOLEY'S LEG! The referee shook his head, but couldn't do anything about it, this was no-disqualifications, that meant everything goes. Foley struggled with Maria, but eventually kicked her off of him, but while he was distracted Candice got in the ring and pulled Machetti off of the table. Foley stared at Candice she quickly got out of the ring, glanced at Machetti who was on the ground in front of the turnbuckle.
But suddenly… MACHETTI SHOT UP TO HIS FEET AND JUMPED UP ONTO THE MIDDLE ROPE! Machetti went off on Foley with a series of right hands, two chops to the chest, then hit an uppercut and a headbutt. Machetti climbed up onto the top rope and lifted Foley up in front of him, MACHETE'S BLADE OFF OF THE TOP ROPE… THROUGH THE TABLE!! Machetti landed on top of Foley and hooked his legs while they laid on top of the remains of the broken table, ONE… TWO… THREE! HE GOT IT! A top rope Machete's Blade through a table was just the car crash Machetti needed, because he finally got the pin.
Riot Time hit as Machetti rolled off of Foley and into the middle of the ring. Maria and Candice got in the ring and pulled him up to his feet, then the referee came over and handed Machetti his Intercontinental Title. Maria and Candice raised Machetti's arms up in the air as the fans cheered. But Machetti pulled away and went over to Foley, then helped him up to his feet. Foley stood gingerly on his bad leg while Machetti held out his hand. Foley smiled at Machetti, showing off his missing teeth, then shook his hand.
Machetti threw the Intercontinental Title over his shoulder then grabbed Foley and put his arm around his other shoulder. Machetti helped Foley across the ring and out of it, and was then joined by Candice and Maria at ringside. The four of them then headed up the ramp to the back as Raw went to a commercial break.
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Seeing how Machetti has only appeared at one WrestleMania in his career thus far there was only one opponent for him to face in a WrestleMania Rematch. So I was presented with the choice of either, doing a Mick Foley return, prompting a Machetti/Foley WrestleMania Rematch, or I had to give Machetti the night off. Now, the WWE might be okay with keeping their Intercontinental Champion off of the card during a big Raw, but I'm not. So I decided to do the match.
Now that my Spring Break is over I'll be able to update normally. So expect a new chapter up on Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest.
'Till Next Time…
Peace!