Chapter 21.
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Stargate SG1.
Please review! Compliments make me write faster; criticisms make me write better. Both are needed if you wish this fic to continue.
/Xander's thoughts/
%Jolinar's thoughts%
#"Tok'ra or Goa'uld voice"#
"These results are impossible." Dr. Janet Fraiser complained to the team and general seated around the conference table. "There's traces of at least five different humans in that sample. Along with pig, cow and feline DNA. However, these are all only found in trace amounts. In fact the two labs we sent the samples to have both requested larger sample sizes to get a more complete picture of what's there. But the real kicker is the primary DNA of the sample. It's not human. Not even terrestrial as far as the labs can tell."
"So we're dealing with something alien?" Hammond asked.
Janet shrugged. Things weren't always so cut and dry in this field as people supposed. There was a lot of guesswork involved. "The sample shares fewer genes with humans than Teal'c." she danced around the issue. Teal'c's ancestors were once human and he shared a vast majority of genes with humans, but this thing could have been human once too. There was no way to be sure.
"Dr. Giles did say something about a 'hellmouth'." A newly recovered Daniel put in. "It's supposedly a gateway to a 'hell dimension' and it attracts the kinds of things that go bump in the night. That's what he was sure of. Since Halloween they came up with some new theories." He looked at Sam. "That the Goa'uld drove the demons that were controlling Earth out when they took over and that this 'hellmouth' was a just another portal, whether it really went to another dimension or another planet in this or another galaxy." he explained.
"Do those theories sound plausible Captain?" George asked.
"They sound like I could have thought of them sir," Carter confirmed. "Different types of portals besides the Stargate are possible. Hyperdrive engines are really creating a type of portal in space. The one thing that all portals require is energy and the coast of California is very geologically active. It is possible that some type of portal could take advantage of geological energy instead of electrical." she theorized.
"Are you telling me we have an ongoing foothold situation in California?" Hammond queried.
"Inconclusive, sir." Sam answered.
"We... never actually saw the portal." Jack continued. "We also didn't take that sample of remains or dust or whatever it is."
"We did however, see a creature turn to dust, such as that. It cannot be ruled out." Teal'c intoned.
"So what we have is completely circumstantial evidence?" Hammond summarized. Before anyone could answer, there was a knock on the door. "Enter." It had better be important, the general thought.
"Sirs, madams. There's a phone call for Captain Carter." an airman said.
"Well take a message." Hammond ordered. "She's in a meeting."
"I told them that sir, he said that SG-1 would be interested as well. He claims to be..." the airman steeled himself, "well, he claims to be 'her brother by another mother'."
Jack found himself smiling at that. He tried to do Teal'c eyebrow thing, but couldn't quite pull it off. Only long experience kept him from laughing at the joke.
"Run a trace and patch it through the speakerphone." the general ordered. "Once the phone beeped to tell them it was on, he spoke, "This is Major General George Hammond of the US Air Force. To whom am I speaking?"
"General Hammond, it's nice to talk with you again." a familiar voice said. "I understand you got your teams back more or less intact?"
"Yes. Though I'm not sure yet whether it was thanks to or in spite of your help." Hammond replied.
"Well while you decide, could you tell me if SG-1 is there too? I was kinda hoping to talk to them this time. Not that you're not a pleasant conversationalist, but there are some things I want to bounce off Sam." the voice inquired.
"We're here." Sam confirmed. "What did you want, Xander?"
"Is anyone else there?" the voice asked, unfazed by the use of his name.
"This is Dr. Fraiser" the CMO answered.
"Janet. Nice to hear your voice. And I trust you. As long as you don't have any needles pointed my way." Xander joked. "Anyway, you found some names," Xander said without confirming that he was this Xander they referred to. "May I ask how?"
"School records." Daniel jumped in before anyone could stop him. "Your name and two others kept popping up with Dr. Giles." Daniel surreptitiously let him know that they knew Buffy's name even if they kept her out of the reports.
"I'm going to guess that was your idea Daniel." Xander stated.
"What makes you say that?" he asked.
"Because it never occurred to me." Xander laughed. "Anyway, the reason I was calling was to see if Samantha got my package. It's been a week so you should have the test results back."
"That's classified, son." Hammond answered.
"Aliens are classified. So far as I know vampires aren't." Xander countered.
Hammond considered that for a moment. "Would you care to explain the results?" Hammond asked.
"Sure, but you're going to have to tell me what they were. We don't exactly have the resources to do DNA testing ourselves."
Janet rattled off the results again.
"Pig and Cow doesn't surprise me. We have a friendly vampire who feeds on that stuff. But cats! What the heck?" Xander wondered.
"What about the primary DNA?" Carter asked.
"The story goes that as the demons were being driven from Earth a demon mixed his blood with a human and created the first vampire. The way vampires are created is that a vamp feeds on a human, then the human feeds on the vamp before he dies. He rises as one of the undead soon after that. If the DNA of the... host for lack of a better word is no longer human, that could mean that demon DNA is replacing the human DNA. Sort of like a slow acting retro-virus." Xander explained, sounding more and more like Carter. "Most vamps can look human if they choose, but we had one really old vamp in town last year who was so old, his face had permanently shifted. It was pretty nasty. Also, while most vamps dust clean, he actually left a skeleton behind."
"Could we get a sample of that skeleton?" Sam asked.
"Sorry, some other vamps tried to resurrect him with his bones. Had to smash them to smithereens." Xander replied.
Sam frowned. One avenue was down. "We were also discussing this 'hellmouth'. Could you tell us more about it?"
"Mostly, just that it's nothing like the Stargate. It's powered by mystical energy, not electricity. And there was no device creating the portal that I saw." Xander stated.
"That's not possible." Sam argued.
"Yeah, I knew you were going to say that," Xander joked. "I can assure you that magic is real. I don't have the equipment to study it so I can't tell you how it works other than it is definitely some form of energy and/or energy manipulation. I'm not the magic expert and I haven't been back down to the hellmouth since Halloween so we're relying on some fuzzy memories here. But I've seen magic. Believe you when I tell you it's very real."
"You know, we're taking a lot on faith here." Jack interjected.
"Good to hear your voice Colonel." Xander replied. "And so am I. Like whether or not you talked to the Tok'ra for me."
"That's classified." Hammond answered.
"Are you Jolinar? Did he somehow get transferred to you?" Carter asked expectantly.
"That's classified." Xander parroted.
"What if we could arrange a little quid pro quo. You tell us what we want to know, in exchange for what we want to know?" Hammond wondered.
Xander considered for a moment. "Fine. But you go first. Did you contact the Tok'ra and were you able to gain an alliance?"
Hammond nodded for Dr. Jackson to explain. "Well, we contacted them. We were able to find the traitor and that made them fairly friendly towards us, but it seems that any hope for an alliance with them rests on us finding a host for one of them. And we're having trouble finding willing hosts among people cleared for knowledge of the Stargate. We've been fighting the Goa'uld for so long now that the idea of blending with one is abhorrent." Daniel said.
"Fair enough. I doubt I would take anyone up on becoming a vamp even if they said we'd share my body." Xander said. "Your question?"
Carter raised her hand and the general nodded. "Are you Jolinar of Malksur?"
"Half of me is." Xander admitted. "Half me, half you, half Jolinar, and half hyena."
"Half hyena?" Jack inquired.
"It's a long story. Save it for your next question, sir. I mean, Colonel. Jack. Whatever. Now I forgot what I was going to ask next." Xander complained. After a moment of silence he continued, "Oh yeah. What the hell is the NID doing in my town?"
Hammond answered, "I'm going to need more proof than just your word that you are really Jolinar before we can answer that."
#"Is this enough or do you require more?"# Jolinar answered in character.
"That will be enough for now." Hammond assured him. "As far as the NID goes, your guess is as good as mine. Maybe better. We do know that the base was only recently completed. If you can find construction permits and the like that might help you find them."
"Concrete. Look for someone who just bought a lot of concrete." Jack advised. "Why are you still here?" Jack took the next question.
"Where else would I go? I've lived on the hellmouth for 17 years. I've been fighting demons and vampires longer than you've been fighting the Goa'uld. We don't have a ship and Jolinar is rightfully nervous about putting himself in your hands again to get to the Stargate. For now, free and under the NID's nose is safer than in your custody."
"We thought you were a Gould." O'Neill explained.
#"None the less, last time we were in your custody, we died. You can understand that we are nervous about trusting you again."# Jolinar countered.
"We understand that a grave mistake was made with regards to your treatment here last time. Is there something we can do to earn back your trust?" Hammond asked diplomatically.
"For now. Just stay away. Though, if you could get the NID to leave, that would go a long way to restoring our faith in the US government." Xander answered.
"I wish I could pull them out. But it's out of my hands." Hammond explained.
"I know. But I have your number. If you need to get a hold of me, call Giles." Xander sighed and hung up.
"Hyena?" Jack wondered aloud.
It turned out that threatening to pop Willie's head like a zit was actually a good interrogation tool. Buffy decided that she'd have to give Xander props for that idea. Even if it was disgusting. She was amazed that Ford was still in town and alive. Now she just had to do the hard part. Meeting Ford again and not killing him outright. She was standing in front of his door at the seedier motel in town. She'd been standing there for almost two minutes now. Finally her arm shot forward and she softly knocked. Almost quiet enough that she couldn't hear it. But she heard movement inside. Footsteps came to the door and she knew Ford was looking through the peephole. "Let me in Ford. If I wanted to kill you, I'd have broken down the door already."
The door opened and Ford stood in the doorway, back-lit by the TV on the dresser. "Summers. Wasn't expecting to see you again." he stepped back to let her in.
She entered at the unspoken invitation. There were several empty bottles of vodka around the room and one empty and one full bottle of aspirin. Ford himself looked gaunt. An unhealthy leanness, but enough color to tell her that he was still alive. Probably. "Give me your wrist." she commanded.
"Why?" Ford questioned, but held his wrist out anyway.
Buffy took the wrist and felt around a bit before letting it drop. "You don't look so good. I was checking for a pulse." she explained. Then stayed silent.
"Listen, I owe you an apology for the way I treated you. I figure I was at the 'bargaining' stage of grief. I was willing to bargain with your life and that was wrong. And worse, I betrayed your trust. I felt really bad about it when it was done and I went right into the 'depression' stage." He waved at the vodka bottles. "I figure I'm at acceptance now."
"Why didn't you go home?" Buffy asked, sitting in a chair.
"If I go home, their just going to pump me full of poison to give me another month worth of torture. There's just no point. I already said good bye to everyone who mattered. Except one." Ford answered.
Damn it was a lot easier to hate him when he was trying to kill her than when he was trying to apologize. "Ford, you know there's a lot of weird things in this town besides me, right?"
Ford nodded. "I've seen some pretty freaky stuff walk by late at night."
"Well, one of those freaky things is that since you disappeared, we acquired a device that might be able to heal you." Buffy blurted.
Ford took a moment to process that info. "Why would you be willing to help me? I tried to betray you and kill two dozen other people. With hindsight it's clear that I was completely crazy. You really shouldn't trust me."
The door opened. "We're not trusting you." Xander stepped into the room and put his lock-picks away. "We just need a guinea pig. If you live, we hope we'll never see you again. If you die... well, how do you feel about cremation?"
"Sounds like a plan." Ford slapped his knees and stood up. "Where we going?"
"You're ok with this?" Buffy stood up too.
"A chance at a cure or a quick death? That's better than my current options. Let's go already." Ford started walking out the door.
"Blue car." Xander instructed from behind him.
Giles was driving, Buffy sat next to him and Xander sat next to Ford. Xander handed Ford a blindfold and a black bag. "Like I said, we aren't trusting you."
They arrived at Willow's house and piled out of the car. Buffy helped Ford out. Giles entered first and led the way to the basement. They stopped at the top of the stairs to take off the bag and blindfold. Ford followed Giles downstairs with Xander and Buffy bringing up the rear. Down in the basement was a chair that looked suspiciously like an old dentist's chair. And over it looked a bit like one of those dentist's lights. With two large, jointed arms covered in wires and the 'light' on a ball joint so it could turn every which way.
"Are you going to fill my cavities while your at it?" Ford commented on the setup.
"No, but I could seal your cavities permanently if you like." Xander replied darkly. "Let your bladder and bowels rupture. It should be a fun way to die."
"Xander." Giles reprimanded. Then he motioned to the chair. "Have a seat, Ford."
After he sat down, Willow and Giles strapped in his arms and legs. Then Giles started strapping down his head. "Are you really going to help me or is this just a creative way to kill me?" he asked calmly.
Giles smiled weakly. "It really is an attempt to heal you. However, we'll be working in your head. If you so much as twitch, it could liquify your brain. And Xander tells me that it may also be painful. The straps are to keep you from killing yourself during the procedure."
Ford swallowed but didn't say anything. Xander took up position by Ford's side while the other three watched. He maneuvered the device's head over Ford's head. Then placing his hand on the back of the device, he gave Jolinar control. Xander watched very carefully to exactly what Jolinar was doing as well as what Jolinar was thinking while he healed Ford. Jolinar wasn't quite so mean as they had promised and had already tested the device by cutting their left arm and then healing it with the other arm. Jolinar did it once to test that it was working. Xander had also given it a shot. He failed the first couple tries, but did eventually succeed in healing a small cut. But a beginner's skill would be no match for a 'nest of tumors' as Ford had described them.
After only a few minutes, Jolinar stopped and gave control back to Xander. They weren't going to trust him with the fact that aliens existed. "You're healed."
"That's it?" Ford wondered. He hadn't felt a thing. "Can you unstrap me then?"
"Not yet. I believe we mentioned pain" Xander replied as Giles stepped closer.
"Buffy, would you mind taking Willow upstairs for a snack?" Giles didn't take his eyes off Ford.
"But I'm not... oh." Willow allowed herself to be led upstairs.
"So this is the pain part, huh?" Ford asked cheerfully.
"Maybe," Xander replied. He also took the opportunity to reposition the device so it now rested over Ford's crotch.
"Who did you make your deal with and what did the vampire steal from us?" Ripper asked darkly.
"I made it with the vampire Spike." Ford answered immediately. "And it was a book. I don't know the title, but it was by a guy named... Dru lock?" Ford mangled the name a bit.
"Du Loc?" Giles asked and Ford nodded. "Oh dear, that is bad." Giles sat down.
"Are we done with this guy or did you want to question him more?" Xander asked. His voice suddenly switching from dark to kind of whiny.
"You don't have to tie me up for me to answer. I understand why you did, but my headache is gone. It hasn't left for the past 2 months. So I believe you when you say I'm healed. I'm willing to tell you anything you want. I'm willing to do anything you want too." Ford assured them.
Xander looked at Giles who nodded before he released Ford.
So this is Earth? Martouf thought as he finally arrived at his destination. It was nice. Very... blue. He started his scan for naquadah. That should show him any Goa'uld or Tok'ra life signs. It shouldn't take too long for him to confirm or deny.
In a cloaked ship, high above the Earth's upper atmosphere, it was a simple matter to scan the Earth for naquadah, which would reveal the presence of any Goa'uld or Tok'ra. While he was doing that, he also scanned the communications of Earth to learn more about them as a people. Watching their news programs taught him that they were certainly capable of great violence, even with limited means. But it was also clear that they focused on their own negative aspects too much. If such violence were truly as widespread as the reports suggested, the Earthlings would have died out long ago. Instead, it appeared that competition for limited resources was a major contributor to fueling the violence. The planet was overpopulated for their current farming technology.
An alert from his computer alerted him that the results of the scan were done. The Stargate and a cache of weapons grade naquadah that were probably staff weapons showed in a place called Colorado. There was also the signature trace of naquadah of a Goa'uld. This one was already identified as Captain Samantha Carter. Her signature having been marked while she was in the Tok'ra base.
There was a second Stargate and another cache of weapons in a place called Nevada. What was surprising was five other caches of weapons grade naquadah and accompanying signatures of Goa'uld nearby, scattered around Earth. Unlike Captain Carter's signature none of them had moved in the last 24 hours, which meant nothing from this altitude. Especially with all the satellites in the way of the scan it was like trying to follow a sound through the forest. Martouf was lucky to have a general location on each signature. He was only certain that none of them had moved more than 2.1 miles since the initial scans. That was the margin of error.
If this really was the human home world, from which the Goa'uld had been exiled from so long ago, the most likely explanation for the goa'uld presence was that these Goa'uld were likely in stasis jars. He set the computer to continue monitoring those and alert him if there was any movement. One of them could still be Jolinar.
Then he sat back to watch what he had determined was the most popular show on Earth. Perhaps Earth's entertainment would give him more insight into its people. So he sat back and turned on 'Seinfeld'.
He was rousted from the second episode by an alert from his computer. Someone had used a healing device on the west coast of the United States of America. The problem was, there wasn't a Goa'uld or Tok'ra signature in the area. This was not good. A Goa'uld that could cloak themselves from their sensors was dangerous indeed. He sent a message back to the Tok'ra base describing all that he had found and that he was landing to investigate this cloaked Goa'uld.
A/N: Don't own Seinfeld.