Author's Note: Thanks to my one fearless reader who reviewed the last chapter and let me know what she thought about it. I appreciate the feedback and I would LOVE it if you, who are reading this now, would leave some feedback. As always, please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.

Chapter 14: Mea Culpa

"Wait, what?" Stephen asked.

"I'm late. My period is late," Celine said. "It means that-"

"I know what that means!" Stephen exclaimed. He knew far too much about the cycles of women, having grown up with three sisters who were unbearable at the same time, every month. "How did this happen? I wore a condom every time." He might have been having sex with Celine every chance he got, but Stephen knew he wasn't being stupid about it. He did everything possible to prevent this.

"Not that time in the library," Celine said.

"Oh, one fucking time!" Stephen exclaimed.

"It only takes one time," Celine said. "Maybe I'm not pregnant. Maybe it's something different." Stephen felt his chest start to hurt. His eyes got hot, a sure sign he was going to cry, which was so stupid, because he wasn't about to cry over this.

"It's not mine," Stephen said. "You said it yourself. I wasn't the first Circle member you patched up. And Luke… you were all over him, long before I was in the Circle. If you're pregnant, it's not mine."

"Stephen, how could you say…?" Celine began.

"It's not mine!" Stephen said, louder this time. "All you've wanted is to get pregnant so I would have to be with you. Yes, Celine, I think you did want to break Amatis and I up, because without a husband, you are nothing."

"Do you think this is easy on me?" Celine cried. "Do you think I want to be knocked up with your child? You're still married!"

"For another five days. I bet you've been keeping count," Stephen said. "You better figure out what you're going to do about this, because I'm not having a baby with you. You are the last person I would have a baby with."

"You would really just walk away from me? After everything?" Celine asked.

"Everything?" Stephen laughed. "What reason have you given me to stay? You've probably fucked half the Circle. Why would I want to have a baby with you?"

"Because I love you," Celine said desperately.

"I don't feel the same," Stephen said. "I'm leaving now. Come up with a plan. We'll take care of this in the morning."

Stephen didn't bother waiting to hear what else Celine had to say. Instead, he left her room, went downstairs, and walked out the front door. He wasn't wearing shoes, not it that mattered. Stephen walked into the woods and kept walking. He staggered over tree roots and slammed into branches before he saw an orange light flickering through the trees. High above, wind whipped through the trees and brought with it a cold spray of rain.

The bonfire at the Wayland Manor had burned down to a small fire. There were two figures huddled beside it beneath a blanket. Stephen walked over and looked down to see a dagger lying on the ground, reflecting orange flames. Whoever was beneath the blanket was throwing caution to the wind.

"Michael?" Stephen asked. Stephen heard a few mumbled curses before the blanket was tossed aside. Michael lifted his head.

"Christ, Stephen, you can't sneak up on us like that!" He exclaimed.

"You said I could show up at your manor, any time, day or night, so… I had to," Stephen said. "I need to talk to you."

"What about?" Michael asked, a bit impatient. The rain started to come down harder.

"I got Celine pregnant," Stephen said.

A quiet laugh came from beneath the blanket. The laugh became louder and more gleeful. Michael shook his head and uncovered Robert, who fell onto his side, curled into a ball, and laughed until he coughed and choked.

"Oh, Herondale, that just beats all," Robert said. "You got one girl pregnant… while you're married to another one… and you quit your job, your parents hate you…"

"Fuck you," Michael said. Robert stopped laughing. "Go home. Stephen's my friend and I care about him. If you were half as loyal to the Circle as you say you are, you would care about him to. You ask why things aren't the same between us anymore? This is why."

"He cheated on his wife and you're taking his side?" Robert asked.

"Yes, Robert, I am," Michael said. He stood up, pulling the blanket away from Robert, and wrapped it around Stephen's shoulders as the rain started to come down in fat drops. Michael put an arm around Stephen's waist and guided him towards the house. They went inside, to the kitchen, where Michael prepared tea. Upstairs, a baby started to cry.

"Do you need to get him?" Stephen asked.

"No, Josie can handle it," Michael said. He offered Stephen a cup of tea, which Stephen accepted. "So… how do know Celine is pregnant?"

"She said she was late," Stephen said.

"That doesn't mean-" Michael began.

"I was careful, except for one time…. Three weeks ago," Stephens said. "I don't want this. I was going to have a child, and then he died, and I don't want another one. Not right not now, maybe not ever."

"Do you think Celine was with someone else?" Michael asked.

"You tell me," Stephen said. He looked into Michael's eyes, not sure he wanted to know the truth.

"I was never with her," Michael said. "She never even offered. She was only friendly with Luke. No one else would dare to touch her. She's Valentine's sister, after all, and he told us once that his sister was off limits."

"Yeah, he told me that to," Stephen said. He thought back to the encounter in the Library, and tried to figure out what made him want Celine that night. Perhaps, he'd been lonely, distraught, on the rebound. Valentine's order that Stephen keep away from his sister made Stephen only want her more. Now, Stephen looked back over the last three weeks and felt foolish.

"There are worse girls to have babies with," Michael said. He rested his hand on top of Stephen's. "Celine could make you happy. She would be a wonderful wife."

"I don't want her," Stephen said. "I don't want a baby with her. I want…" He wished for the life he had before, when he was married to Amatis and she was going to give him a son and they had a future to look forward to, together.

"Wait here," Michael said. He stood up and left the room, returning after a few minutes with a small box. "This is a pregnancy test. Mundanes use them all the time. Just have Celine follow the instructions, and then… you'll know if she's pregnant or not." Stephen knew about pregnancy tests. A week before their wedding, Amatis had taken one. When it back back positive, she had leapt into his arms and the celebrated. Stephen was terrified, and yet, excited, because if he ha to have a child, he wanted to have one with Amatis.

"You can't tell anyone," Stephen whispered. "If it's negative, that's it. I'm done with her."

"And if it's positive?" Michael asked.

"I'll marry her," Stephen said.

It was nearly dawn when Stephen finally staggered home, now wearing a pair of boots borrowed from Michael. He went upstairs to Celine's room and put the pregnancy test on the bedside table along with a note that told her to follow the instructions. Stephen climbed into bed beside her, not waiting to touch her, but wanting her to know he was there, that he might have walked away before, but that he did come back.

Stephen woke up again sometime later to find Celine turning the pregnancy test box over in her hands. She was staring out into the bedroom, looking near tears. Whether they were tears of happiness or sadness, Stephen was not sure. He took her hand and held it.

"You're supposed to take that, and we'll deal with it, depending on the result," Stephen said.

"I'm not pregnant," Celine said. "I found out earlier. I started… I'm not pregnant."

"Oh," Stephen said. "Oh, okay." He smiled, feeling relieved. Now, his life could continue on his terms and not Celine's.

"You're right, by the way. You cheated on your wife. You are the last man I would ever have a child with," Celine said.

Two nights later, Stephen dressed in his fighting gear. Valentine had put together a group of Circle members who would go to investigate the family of werewolves who were rumored to be killing humans. Stephen was itching to get out of the manor, as it had been a quiet few days. Celine hadn't sought Stephen out, but she hadn't ignored him either. Stephen had taken over her secret spot in the library, and the one time she did show up to find him already there, she left without saying a word. If Valentine knew something was going on between Stephen and Celine, he had to know that something was now over.

Stephen told Michael that if Celine wasn't pregnant, he would end things with her, but saying that and doing that were two different things. Valentine was always somewhere else in the house, working on something, and Jocelyn was busy with her parents and the baby. Without Celine to talk to, Stephen was left to his own thoughts. He found himself lonely and missed spending time with Celine, if only to have someone to spend time with.

Stephen finished getting dressed, then turned to his trunk of weapons in the corner of the room. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Stephen said. Celine walked in, carrying a tea cup.

"For energy," Celine said, offering Stephen the cup. He took it and drank all of the liquid inside, then handed it back to Celine. She bit her lower lip and looked him up and down as Stephen turned back to the trunk.

Stephen was dressed in his black pants, his boots already tied, and was currently working on filling his weapons belt. His shirt was new, another gift from Valentine. The material was strong like leather but moved like cotton. He didn't feel overly hot like he did in his old gear. There was something to be said for how he looked in the gear… not half bad. He was a mixture of lights and darks, black gear and fair hair and pale biceps marked wrist to shoulder with black swirling combat runes.

"Are you going to be alright?" Stephen asked.

"Am I going to be alright while you go meet with the werewolves?" Celine asked. "I'll manage, I'm sure."

"I mean, are you going to be alright with the whole…" Stephen looked down at his feet. "The baby thing, I mean."

"It's not that I don't want a baby, or even one with you. I just don't want one right now. Not when you aren't even divorced," Celine said. She rested her hands on his shoulders. "We made mistakes together. It doesn't mean we can't move past those mistakes. Maybe, after you're divorced… we could try being together. We could take things slow."

"I like that idea," Stephen said. "That's… perfect."

"Perfect," Celine said. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to Stephen's. Stephen parted his lips and returned the kiss.

"I'll wait for you but not forever," Valentine said. Stephen pulled away from Celine, blood rushing to his face. Valentine was standing at the door to Stephen's room, looking huge and imposing in his gear.

"Be right there," Stephen said. Valentine rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Be careful tonight, alright?" Celine rested her hands on Stephen's chest. He was wearing two layers of gear but could still feel her touch against his skin.

"I'll be safe. I'll come home," Stephen said.

"Don't promise things you don't know for certain," Celine said. She kissed him again, and shoved him towards the door.

Valentine was waiting just outside the door. He gave Stephen a rueful smile.

"I told you to keep away from her," Valentine said.

"Forgive me," Stephen said.

"I can't really blame you. Your father told you not to join the Circle and so you did. I told you to keep your cock out of Celine and you didn't. I don't know why I waste my breath," Valentine said. "You're a Herondale. You'll do something stupid just because you can."

"My fault," Stephen mumbled. "My most grievous fault."

Everyone who would be going on the mission was already gathered outside the manor. Robert was talking to Michael, their argument seemingly forgotten. Hodge was there as well.

"Oh, hey, Robert!" Stephen said excitedly. Robert frowned. "Wow. Look at that big sword! That's got to be 20 inches, easy!" Robert had a sword held diagonal across his back in a leather strap.

"Twenty four," Robert said smugly. He shrugged.

"You know what they say about men who use big swords, right?" Stephen asked.

"They know how to use them properly?" Robert said.

"It's not the size of the sword that matters, but rather, the ability of the man who wields it," Hodge said. Michael snorted.

"What do they say about men who use big swords, Stephen?" Robert asked.

"Yes, what do they say?" Valentine asked. He folded his arms and waited, patiently. Even Michael was waiting for Stephen's response with a smirk on his face.

"Men who use large swords are often overcompensating for… something," Stephen said. Robert looked over at Michael and raised his eyebrows.

"So why aren't you overcompensating for something?" Valentine asked. "From what I've heard about Herondales, all you do is over compensate for your… shortcomings." Everyone laughed aloud.

"Not according to your sister," Stephen said. The laughter stopped quite suddenly. Valentine stared at Stephen, his eyes boring into Stephen's soul.

"Sometime in the future you are going to wonder why I picked you to be my second in command. This is why. You're not afraid of me. I didn't want someone who told me what I wanted to hear," Valentine said. "I needed an equal."

"He's hardly an equal," Robert said. "He's inexperienced, for one. He's-"

"He's exactly what I need," Valentine said. He glared at Robert. "There is no one better to avenge Lucian's death. If there is anyone who understands my pain over Lucian's death, it's Stephen. I won't have you causing any rifts, Lightwood. Stephen is my second in command. Now are you with us, or against us?"

"I'm with you," Robert said, bowing his head.

"That's what I thought," Valentine said.

They mounted their horses and set off. The moon was nearly full, with just a sliver of it missing. The air was cold and damp from a rainstorm the night before. Stephen rode beside Valentine, with Michael and Robert behind him and Hodge bringing up the rear.

"Just over this hill," Valentine mumbled, after they had been riding for some time. "Now remember, we're not going to start anything. We are only here to talk." Stephen had his doubts. Earlier in the day, Valentine told Stephen to arm himself to the teeth, and Stephen complied. His fingers twitched on the reins, imagining what it would be like to slaughter the creatures that killed Luke and made Amatis cry as a result.

Their destination was a small cabin surrounded by several small tents. There was a fire burning outside, with no one around. Stephen couldn't help but feel like they were ambushing the werewolves, despite none of this being illegal. It was the Clave's job to patrol the Idris countryside and look into matters like this.

Stephen followed Valentine onto the front porch of the cabin while Robert, Michael, and Hodge stayed with the horses. Valentine knocked on the door.

"Who's here?" A voice called.

"Representatives from the Clave," Valentine replied. The door opened and a woman peered out. She reminded Stephen of someone's grandmother and dressed like one as well.

"Shadowhunters," the woman said. "Why are you here?"

"We've come to take a look around. There are rumors that you've been killing humans," Valentine said. The woman looked him over, then turned her eyes to Stephen.

"Rumors are just that. Rumors," she said.

"There's a bit of truth in every rumor," Valentine said.

"We don't mean any trouble," Stephen said. "We just want to take a look around. You don't want to refuse us, madam. That could mean a whole lot of trouble for you." The woman frowned, then pulled open the door the rest of the way. Valentine gave Stephen a wink before walking inside.

The cabin contained six other people, two children, and two men, and two women. Stephen saw werewolves before, either in human or animal form. These people seemed unremarkable. If not for the hunk of meat cooking on a spit over the fire, or the moist smell of dog, Stephen would have assumed they were just regular humans.

"So you have heard rumors?" Valentine asked. He came close to a table set with plates and silverware.

"I've heard rumors about a certain splinter group of Shadowhunters who are looking to do away with the Accords. I've heard they've even killed Downworlders who are forced to violate the Accords. In fact, there's talk all over Downworld that these are more than just rumors," the woman said. "What have you heard?"

"I heard you've been killing humans," Valentine said. "That does more than violate the Accords, you know. You're forbidden from attacking mundanes."

"That's why we don't attack mundanes," the woman said.

"Be certain to check the fire, Stephen," Valentine said. "If we find nothing, we'll never speak of this encounter. You just have to understand, we have a job to do."

Stephen walked over to the fireplace and knelt beside it. He took a fireplace poker and moved some ash around. There was something tiny and bright in the ashes. Stephen held it up to show Valentine a beaded bracelet, like something a little girl would wear. Valentine shrugged, so Stephen moved the ashes around some more and found something hard, almost wooden.

"There's a bone," Stephen said.

"We cook over the fire," the woman said. Stephen lifted the bone to show that it was a bit shorter than his arm, with a joint at either end.

"That's human," Valentine said. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

This time, Stephen was prepared for the attack. One of the men closest to Stephen shifted from man to wolf and lunged at Stephen, slamming him into the mantle. The cabin door flew open as the Shadowhunters rushed in, seraph blades glowing. The remaining humans quickly shifted into wolves and each chose someone to fight. Stephen saw the first wolf die by Valentine's sword, and in that time, he managed to get free from his wolf and go back to back with Robert as they fought two others. Michael killed another wolf but he was bleeding from a wound on his arm and hurried outside to keep out of the way.

Without Michael, they were at a disadvantage. Working together, Robert and Stephen managed to kill two other wolves, leaving them four against three until Hodge took a set of claws to his face. Stephen looked away, lest he see Hodge's skin torn from his skull. He focused instead on the doorway which was now blocked by a man who was wearing boots and a pair of black pants. Scanning up, Stephen saw a flannel shirt, and…. Luke?

"Stephen!" Robert cried. Stephen turned to Robert as another werewolf smashed it's paws into his chest. Stephen cracked the back of his head on a table and landed flat on his back, choking on blood. The werewolf stepped over him and bared it's teeth. Stephen closed his eyes and thought about how he deserved to die this way. When death did not come, Stephen opened his eyes just as Robert pulled his 24 inch sword from the holder across his back. The blade sunk into the werewolf, killing it in an instant.

When Stephen opened his eyes again, he found himself in Michael's arms. He barely had a chance to look up into Michael's face, to see his blue eyes and innocent face colored orange in the light of a fire before liquid was poured into his mouth. Stephen coughed and sputtered, choking. A hand moved over his mouth, keeping it closed.

"Swallow," Valentine said. Stephen swallowed. When Valentine pulled his hand away, it was covered with blood. "Well, that could have gone better." Stephen laid his head against Michael's chest and gasped a few times. He opened his eyes and focused on the burning cabin, which was sending flames twenty feet into the sky.

"What happened?" Stephen asked.

"Robert saved you," Michael said gratefully. Stephen groaned.

"That's all I need, to owe my life to a fucking Lightwood," Stephen said. "You should have let me be torn limb from limb…"

"I didn't save you for me," Robert snapped. Michael ran his hands through Stephen's blood dampened hair.

"I saw Luke… he was… there," Stephen pointed to the cabin. "Where did he go?"

"The poor boy," Valentine whispered. "He's incoherent." Everyone's voices were starting to seem far away. Stephen closed his eyes and relaxed against Michael's trembling body.

"I can't believe we were right," Michael said.

"Of course we were right," Valentine said. "Let's go." Michael pulled Stephen to his feet. Stephen's mind felt muddled. His skin was stinging where several healing runes had been applied. Michael had to help Stephen onto his horse, and then led Nicias all the way back to Fairchild Manor.

The manor was ablaze with light when they rode up. Celine was on the front porch, dressed in a robe. She hurried down the front steps just as Stephen climbed off Nicias. The earth tipped beneath Stephen's feet and he fell into Michael's arms.

"What happened?" Celine demanded.

"He cracked his skull on a table," Valentine said. "Let him go, Michael. Stephen needs to go to Celine." The moment Michael stepped away, Stephen fell against Celine. He wrapped his arms around her and held her body against his. She felt warm and alive in his arms.

"I'm so sorry about before. I'll never leave you," Stephen said. "I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you to," Celine said.

"Be sure to patch him up, my dear," Valentine said. His voice sounded smug. "Take very good care of him. He belongs to you now."

Stephen went upstairs, leaning heavily on Celine. They went to his room, where Stephen tried to unbuckle his weapons belt before Celine dropped it to the floor. She pushed him into the bathroom, lifted one shirt over his head, and followed that shirt with his blood and sweat soaked undershirt. Stephen's head was spinning in circles. He had to grasp Celine's waist just to keep upright. Celine removed his pants and boots last, then pushed Stephen into the shower and climbed in after him, supporting him as hot water rained down on them. There was nothing sexual about it. Stephen's body felt ripped into pieces and Celine was the only one who could put him back together.

When the shower was finished, Stephen fell into bed completely naked. He woke up some time later, his mind feeling less scrambled, to find Celine sound asleep beside him. Stephen saw a theme: whenever he needed Celine, she was there. He could learn to love that quality in her.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! No teaser, as the next chapter is sort of in shambles. Please review. I could really use the encouragement.