Summary: After 2 years of chemotherapy, Bella Swan is finally given the OK to get pregnant. With no boyfriend and desperate for motherhood, she runs to a sperm bank in hopes of picking the perfect anonymous man to father her child. One bundle of joy and two years later, a trip to the supermarket will change everything. (Rated M for future chapters)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters all belong to their respectful owner.
AN #1: You should know, that the italics are the flashbacks of memories she's had. This story has a lot of flashbacks, (like) a lot. Don't worry though; it's just this one (I hope!). I know it makes it uncomfortable to read in italics so much, but just stick it out. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 1
March 5th, 2003.
Forks, Washington
The air felt unusually damp against her skin, the humidity making her feel sticky and uncomfortable. Bella looked down at her feet, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone as she counted the steps it took for her to get home. She drew in a sharp intake of breath. Her right breast felt heavy all of a sudden, the lump that should be about the size of a grape felt like it was the size of a baseball. She wrapped her sweater tighter around herself, looking up at the sky and frowning that it was so cloudy and dark. Her eyes wondered again, but then felt so self-conscious that she dropped her head almost immediately.
Do they know? She thought about the passersby, could they tell?
…
"Isabella Swan?" the nurse called from her the door. "The doctor will see you now."
Bella place the People magazine she was reading, some trending topic about Hollywood celebrities and what's in style. She placed it on the wooden stand and swung her bag over her shoulder, proceeding to examination room # 4 where the doctor would see her shortly.
"In the meantime," said the nurse, handing her a blue gown, "please take your shirt off and put this on."
"Excuse me?"
"It…says you're scheduled for a breast exam? It's standard procedure for women over twenty and according to these charts it says that your last one was about a year ago."
"Right…right, right" Bella always forgot they did those, she'd never really seen the point of it either. She was only twenty-five. "I'm sorry I totally forgot about that."
"Don't worry. Just put it on, lay down and the doctor will be with you shortly."
"Thanks."
The nurse gave Bella a small smile and closed the door behind her. Sighing deeply, Bella unbuttoned her shirt, the cold air smacking her skin. She quickly removed her bra just so that she could snuggle into the gown and cover herself up from the cold; though it didn't seem to offer much relief. She ran her hands up and down her arms quickly, the friction providing some heat against her cold body. Ten minutes later, Dr. Elizabeth Masen stepped inside, smiling brightly as she always did. Her graying hair was styled neatly in a bun and Bella thought she had never seen a fifty-eight year old woman as stylish as her gynecologist.
"Hi Isabella, how are you?" She asked.
"I'm good. And you?"
"Fine, thank you."
"Good, good." These little small talks always made Bella feel awkward and uncomfortable.
"Well then, let's take just start the test shall we?"
"Okay."
Bella laid down on the bed, crossing her ankles one over the other. One of her arms was placed at her side while she left the other one hanging on top of her abdomen. The doctor opened the front of Bella's gown and exposed her breasts, her nipples hardening from the cold. She placed her hands delicately above Bella's left breast, starting from the areola, moved in a circular motion from the inside out.
Slowly, her hands stroked all over, her fingers sometimes digging into the breast to make the most accurate of examinations.
"Everything is fine with this one. Let's see the other one then…" the doctor said as she started to do the same with her right breast. Just as Bella thought she must be finished, her movements stopped.
"Is there, something wrong?" Bella asked a little nervously.
"No. I mean…" Dr. Masen moved around a spot in particular and grimaced. "Well, I do feel a lump on your right breast, right here" she said, placing her fingers slightly diagonally from her armpit. "But we shouldn't worry prematurely, right?"
"Right" Bella mumbled.
"We'll schedule a mammogram for the weekend and then I'll see what it is. I can't really say, but hopefully it's nothing." Elizabeth seemed so positive that any trace of nervousness Bella had instantly disappeared.
…
Bella's vision blurred, her eyes were watering.
"That bitch", she mumbled under her breath. All she had to do was lie to Bella, and tell her that that she hadn't felt anything. If she'd told her nothing was wrong, Bella could be living her life happily and ignorant, not worrying about anything. If this disease would kill her, then it would be so fast she didn't know what hit her. Now it felt as though there was an invisible time bomb hanging around her neck and if felt so heavy that all she wanted to do was fall to her knees and wallow in misery. That's how she felt right now, miserable.
A sudden urge to fulfill every dream she's ever had filled her, but just as suddenly it vanished. What was the point in doing it if she felt pressured, knowing that her time is running out? The spontaneity of it all would disappear and then, so would the entire point of doing it.
"No point," she said dolefully.
Bella lifted her head and then looked back, her train of thought so long that she must have walked at least two blocks already. The clinic was still visible though, she had only walked a couple of hundred meters from it.
…
It had been a month since she did the mammography. When the results came back, she was urged to schedule a biopsy. Even though it seemed like she had a lump, Bella was still hopeful that it was nothing. She had heard and read how many women go through this and it just ends up being a non-cancerous mass that was easily operable.
Dr. Masen told Bella that she should see a Dr. Aro Volturi, the best oncologist in Forks, Washington. The fact that she had to go to an oncologist made her even more nervous, but she decided that she should not be worried over something that no one is sure of yet.
The morning of her oncology appointment,Bella awoke with a tight feeling in her chest. She felt her breast bones being pushed against her body and she felt warmth overtake her stomach. When she lifted her hands, she saw that they were shaking despite the fact she hadn't even had her morning coffee yet.
She later entered the doctor's office, but it didn't have the same feeling that her gynecologist's did. This office almost made it feel as if someone was stamping her death sentence.
"Calm down Bella", she told herself, "It's probably nothing. Stop exaggerating!"
Dr. Volturi entered the office and shook hands with Bella, silently greeting her.
He held an envelope in his hand, the corners of his mouth tugging downward.
This can't be good.
"Miss Swan, you must know the reason why you're here and I'm afraid that…" That's all Bella needed to hear. He didn't even need to finish the sentence.
"I… what? I can't…I can't have cancer! I'm 25 years old! I eat right, I exercise…" her fears were being confirmed, and she had trouble wrapping her mind around what the oncologist said.
"I understand that this might come as a sudden shock to you Miss Swan, but cancer really doesn't discriminate against anyone. Sure there are some factors that contribute to this horrible disease, but really anyone can suffer from it."
"How much time do I have to live?" she blurted out.
"Now, now Miss Swan" Dr. Volturi said, adjusting his glasses, "let's not get dramatic here…"
"Excuse you! Don't be dramatic?" she yelled, "This is cancer we're talking about, not some cold that goes away with some soup and antibiotics!"' Her blood boiled within her, he seemed so insensitive to her feelings that she wanted to rip this doctor's head off. Aro's eyes softened as he thought of what he said. He knew that he should apologize, but instead he started explaining how she was going to beat it.
"It's at stage two, and a little more aggressive than I'd hope; but still, the prognosis is good. Your lymph nodes are still intact, which also means that it hasn't metastasized yet. So here's what we should do, undergo surgery to remove the lump. We'll run one or so more tests to see what chemotherapy is best…"
…
Before she finished replaying the scenario, she banged against something hard, and she stepped back and ran her hand over her forehead.
"Sorry" she said lamely, looking up at the person she had bumped into. Bella's eyes connected with beautiful green ones, and for some silly reason, all her worries seemed to vanish for a millisecond. He seemed younger than she did, probably was, but still there was a sense of maturity him. This man had the most gorgeous face she had ever seen, his hair shining red, despite the fact that there was no sun to emphasize it. A scrape went from the top of his forehead toward his left ear and his lip had a cut, which was just beginning to heal. These seemingly little imperfections didn't matter; he was still incredibly good-looking.
"Watch it" Edward sneered, glaring down at the poor, helpless woman. He had had the worst week of his life, and was in no mood to interact with anyone, much less some careless girl who seemed too stupid to even notice where she was walking.
Her eyes widened at his rudeness, mumbled another apology and kept on walking away from the beautiful stranger.
xxx
Jacob turned around from the bed and unconsciously draped his arm over to his right side, expecting a lean and toned body to be pressed against his. His arm landed on a mattress with a thump, his hand roaming over the spot where she should be laying there. Naked, might he add.
"Babe?" he exhaled, finally opening his eyes and noticing that it seemed dark out despite the fact that it was around two in the afternoon.
It had started to rain heavily.
Jacob's stomach suddenly roared, but nothing unusual for him though. Maybe if he closed his eyes again and drifted back to sleep, he could wake up by dinner time.
His stomach didn't seem to agree.
"Ugh…don't wanna get up…" he groaned into the pillow.
Too bad! His stomach seemed to answer.
Jacob walked over to the kitchen where she stood in front of the fridge, her arms crossed over her chest while she contemplated what she wanted to eat, only a serving of one though, because there was no way in hell she was cooking for Jacob ever again, not after he said that her quesadillas tasted awful.
Fine asshole, you can cook everything from now on yourself! She thought.
He wound his hand around her waist, trailing kissed up and down her neck.
"Jake…" she said a little surprised, placing her hands above his own. "I thought you were sleeping."
"Leah, baby, I'm hungry" he whispered, his hands crawling up to her breast, his thumb gently grazing her nipple. He sucked right below her ear, her weak spot, and she bit her lip to keep from moaning. No, no, and no! Not this time mister!
"Well, there is plenty of food in this refrigerator so you can cook it yourself. You're a big boy" she scolded.
"That I am" he smirked, "and you just can seem to get enough of my big, hard –"
"Stop it Jake!" she said, pushing him away but really wanting him close again. Leah closed the refrigerator door and went into the living room. She sat on the couch and glared at him. "I am not going to cook for you ever again."
"Babe I said I was sorry, really I am!" he said, toward the couch and then kneeling in front of her. Jacob placed his hands on both her thighs, gently massaging her legs in order to ease this little tantrum of hers. Leah humphed and looked away, crossing her arms over her chest once more.
Jacob looked down at her breasts, which seemed to almost pop out of her shirt. They were so gloriously looking, his mind filled with memories from that morning, his lips latched on her nipples while she rode him. She was doing this on purpose for sure!
"Leah, please uncross your arms before I motorboat you" he laughed.
"You are such an ass!" she said, pushing him once more. This time though, he caught her hands and pinned her down so fast on the couch she didn't have time to register what happened, let alone react to it. Jake placed her hands above her head and trailed kissed down her neck again, his right hand desperately roaming her side while this other hand kept hers in place.
"Jake stop it, I'm not cooking you anything," she warned. This would happen sometimes when he really was too lazy and too hungry to cook anything himself; she would tell him to fuck off and cook something but then he would seduce her, get her all hot and bothered and stop right there.
…
"Jacob Black, are you serious? Finish what you started! I'm dripping wet over here!" she yelled. Leah could see his erection! What gives?
"Baby, finish cooking and I'll fuck you so good you'll see stars…" he said, walking over to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
"What the fuck!" she screeched. Leah was too horny to even count the ways in which this was disrespectful towards her and wouldn't normally let him do anything like that to her. But, damned him, he knew that all sense of logic disappeared from her mind when she was ready for him. Leah had never made pasta with meat so fast in her life.
…
"I'm sorry Leah, I really am" he said, separating her legs with his hand as he started to grind his himself against her core. The weight of his body on her felt amazing, his warm body enveloping hers.
"You're so warm" he moaned, "I love fucking you so much."
"Fuck, Jake…" she moaned, grinding her hips against his.
A sudden knock on the door had them stop their ministrations.
"Go away!" he yelled to anyone that was interrupting them, "We're busy!"
"Jacob?" he heard Bella's voice from outside. There was hint desperation in it even though Bella clearly tried not to break down right outside his door. "Jake are you there? I…I need you, please…"
Without hesitation, he lifted himself off of Leah and walked over to the door. He looked back and saw Leah straighten up and nod, silently allowing for him to open the door.
Bella was absolutely drenched, her hair sticking to her face and her eyes were red from crying. She hugged herself, teeth chattering and jumped to hug him. Sobs rocked her body as she buried her face into his neck, her throat felt so tight that she thought she might die from asphyxiation.
"Oh, Bells" he said, "what's wrong?"'
"Did something happen? Are you hurt?" Leah asked, walking over to them.
"No, no" Bella croaked, clinging somewhat tighter to Jacob's neck. At least not the way you might think.
Leah didn't mind that Bella was somewhat attached to her boyfriend, they had been friends for a long time, before she and Jacob had even met, and in theory, she had no right to be even remotely jealous of how close they are.
She closed the door behind them and rubbed circles on Bella's back, just like a mother would for her sick child.
"I came from the doctor," Bella sniffed, letting go of Jacob, but hugging herself once more.
"Oh god" Leah and Jacob both said in unison.
"Jake, I…" her face scrunched up again and she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, "I have cancer."
AN #2: This chapter was beta'd by Aurowanfinn and bethroann. Thanks so much! Beth was absolutely amazing beta. She's stuck with me on this story! I love all of you 25 people that reviewed and I will continue writing for you :) But, now that I got a taste of how wonderful it is to get reviews, I'm all greedy and kinda want more (I have no shame!) Thank you darlings for your patience!