Author's Note: Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews for the last chapter. They mean so much to me, just to know that the story is being enjoyed enough to merit reviews. Please enjoy this chapter, and review!
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. I also do not own "Mizpah." Credit for that goes to where credit is due, which is Genesis 31:49, and… Clockwork Angel, by Cassandra Clare, pg. 391.
Chapter 22: Mizpah
Once Celine admitted that she was pregnant, Stephen felt like a fool for missing the signs all along. Celine had been sleeping far more than usual, but Stephen figured it was because she was finally calm enough to sleep. She had gained weight, which he attributed to his mother's cooking. She was even getting sick in the morning, which Stephen managed to pretend wasn't happening. There were even the occasional crying jags he thought their current situation was to blame for.
"When?" Stephen asked. After Celine's announcement, Stephen left his shocked parents in the kitchen and brought Celine upstairs to take a pregnancy test, partially because he didn't believe her, and partially because he couldn't bear his parent's disappointment.
He was standing in the bathroom, looking down at not one but two home pregnancy tests which each showed bright blue plus signs. Celine was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wiping her tears. She was dressed in a silk nightgown and panties. If she moved right, her nightgown stretched across her lower body, revealing a pregnancy she no doubt kept hidden.
"How did this happen?" Stephen whispered. "We said we weren't going to…"
"It had to have been the day Robert and Maryse came to the house, when I told you about the Uprising," Celine said. "Then." Stephen could remember the time as it being one of the only encounters they had together where he felt the right thing for his wife. He should have known this would be the result of that. He couldn't have gotten her pregnant any of the few times he was lazy about protection on their honeymoon. No, it had to have been that time.
"And how far along are you?" Stephen asked.
"At best guess? Eight weeks. Almost two months," Celine said.
"And how long have you known?" Stephen asked. Celine looked away. "Celine. How long?"
"Four weeks," Celine said. Stephen swore and punched the bathroom sink to keep from punching the mirror. "I've been reading a mundane baby book. The baby is about the size of a raspberry… and he or she has a heartbeat." Stephen rolled his eyes.
"And when are you due?" Stephen asked, his voice cracking, because even he could count nine months from the middle of February.
"November," Celine said. "The week of the Accords, to be exact." Stephen buried his face in his hands and willed himself not to cry, which was silly, because Celine saw him cry before. There was nothing different about it now.
"The week of the fucking Accords," Stephen said, looking up. "I'm supposed to lead the Uprising in taking down the Circle from the inside-"
"Stephen," Celine said, casting a wary look at the bathroom door.
"I'm to lead the Uprising and you, my wife, are going to be nine months pregnant! We won't be able to leave before the Accords, because you won't be able to travel while pregnant, and after… What if I die, Celine? What then?" Stephen asked. "How are you going to escape Idris when you are nine months pregnant, or, worse, with a newborn?"
"Let's take this one month at a time," Celine said. "It's going to be alright-"
"It will never be alright!" Stephen exclaimed. Celine was so calm, so rational, while he was anything but. There had to be a reason. "You planned this, didn't you? You've planned everything. You knew I didn't want this!"
"Do you think this is my fault?" Celine asked.
"I don't know," Stephen whispered. "I want to believe you're on the same page is me… but sometimes, I'm just not sure."
Stephen and Celine spent the next few days barely speaking. Dinner conversation revolved around anything but Celine's pregnancy which, after she finally acknowledged it, became obvious. She was small to begin with, so any weight gained went straight to her stomach. Stephen couldn't bear to look at her, to know that the child inside of her belonged to him. He wished he could doubt the baby's paternity but even that was obvious: for nearly three months Stephen and Celine shared close quarters, and he was the only man she was ever with.
Finally, Valentine called a Circle meeting. Stephen wanted Celine to stay home, but then again, he attended his first Circle meeting alone, because Amatis was sick with her pregnancy. If Celine was absent from the meeting, that could send up red flags from Valentine, and the last thing Stephen wanted was added scrutiny from Valentine. Instead, Celine wore a tailored coat belonging to Imogen that covered her stomach completely. Stephen knew he could announce the pregnancy to the Circle, however, he liked keeping things from Valentine. Celine's pregnancy was a trump card Stephen could use whenever necessary.
Walking into Fairchild manor felt like coming full circle. Robert and Maryse were the party's centerpieces, along with little Alec, who had started to crawl. Maryse was dressed in dark pants with a coordinating shirt that clung tightly to her body, drawing attention to her small stomach. Valentine was holding Jonathan and making him laugh as Jocelyn stood by, talking with Maryse. Michael and his wife, Josie, were sitting in the corner with their son, who Stephen noted now took right after Michael with his light blond hair and blue eyes. Michael was talking quietly with Josie, who seemed subdued.
"Ah, Stephen, you're here," Valentine said. He gave Stephen a tight hug, and then reached for Celine, but she turned her head so that his lips only brushed her cheek. "I need to talk to you and Michael."
Michael looked up from Josie, then stood up and crossed the room. He seemed down about something, though Stephen wasn't sure what. The last time he had really spoken to Michael was the night before his wedding to Celine. Valentine walked from the room and Stephen followed with Michael. They started downstairs to the basement.
"Is everything alright?" Stephen mumbled. Michael shrugged. "You seem…"
"Josie had a miscarriage," Michael said. "It was early on, so it was hardly anything really. She was pregnant and then one morning there was a lot of blood and then she was no longer pregnant. Our midwife said that sometimes it happens. We can try again."
"I'm sorry to hear," Stephen said.
"It is awful, indeed," Valentine said. He led Stephen and Michael into the same room they met once before, when Valentine asked them to be parabatai for his purposes. "I wanted to talk to you both, because you're the only people who know I have the Mortal Cup, as well as what my plans are for the Cup. I need to ask… did either of you tell anyone about the Cup?"
"The Mortal Cup?" Michael asked. Stephen could barely recall the dark night he stole the Cup along with Michael. He could only remember riding home in a rainstorm, feeling like he did something he could never forgive himself for.
"Yes, the Mortal Cup," Valentine said. "I had it, and now… it's gone."
"Gone?" Stephen asked.
"Yes, gone," Valentine said. "The Mortal Cup is gone."
A small part of Stephen wanted to laugh for Valentine's misfortune. After all, he had demanded that they steal the Cup. Stephen didn't think about the Cup once it was out of his possession. It was Valentine who lost the Cup. Not Stephen or Michael.
"I carried it upstairs and gave it to you. That's the last I ever saw of it," Michael said, matter of fact. "We didn't tell anyone, and I doubt the Clave ever knew it was gone. As for Stephen or I taking it back, we don't know where you put it." Michael glanced at Stephen, who nodded quickly.
Valentine smiled. He went over to a desk, opened a drawer, pulled out a knife, and looked Stephen and Michael over carefully.
"I don't believe you," Valentine said. In a flash, he crossed the room, grabbed Michael by the hair, and turned him towards Stephen. He pressed the knife to Michael's throat. "Stephen, tell me where you put my Cup!"
Words nearly came from Stephen's mouth then, not the words that Valentine would want to hear, but the word Stephen wanted to say to him. The Mortal Cup didn't belong to Valentine. If anything, it belonged to Jonathan Shadowhunter, who received the Cup from the Angel. The Cup wasn't supposed to be used by a mad man to make more Shadowhunters who would kill all of the Downworlders. It was a gift Valentine had no right using for his own purposes.
If only Michael didn't have a knife to his throat, Stephen might have told Valentine how he really felt. If only Stephen wasn't scared for the lives of he, Celine, and their unborn child, he might have said the words he wanted to.
"I gave it to Michael!" Stephen exclaimed. Valentine pressed the blade into Michael's neck, drawing blood. Michael cried out and closed his eyes. Stephen stepped forward but Valentine held the knife tightly, his eyes dark and menacing.
"And why should I believe you?" Valentine asked. "I barely know you anymore. You moved out of my home. You refuse to conceive a child with your wife…" Michael sobbed and opened his eyes to give Stephen a look of desperation. Only two people could save Michael, and one of them had a knife to his throat.
"Just let him go!" Stephen exclaimed.
"No. It's been a little while since you saw someone suffer," Valentine said. "I'm going to stand here with the knife to Michael's throat until you tell me where you put the Cup. And every once in a while, I'll move the knife back and forth, like so…" Michael screamed and Valentine put a hand over his mouth.
"I don't know where the Cup went. Why would I lie to you?" Stephen asked. "I'm your fucking second in command!" He looked back to Michael to see tears streaming down his face. He was sagging in Valentine's arms, hysterical. Stephen's eyes filled with tears, remembering the time he had his runes stripped in the Silent City.
"He's in pain, can't you see that?" Michael had cried. He'd grabbed Stephen's hand and held it. "It's going to be okay. It won't hurt forever." Then, later that night, he said, "I couldn't bear to see you hurt. Maybe you're my parabatai after all, if what hurts you hurts me."
"Did you know there's a place on a man's back where you can put a blade through his spine and hit his heart? Did you know that, Michael?" Valentine asked. Michael moaned. "Shake your head no, Michael." Michael shook his head and the blade cut into his neck more.
"I got her pregnant!" Stephen exclaimed. "Celine and I. We're going to have a baby."
"That doesn't tell me where the Cup went," Valentine said. He scowled, then pulled the knife away from Michael's throat and shoved him into a heap at Stephen's feet. "Put yourself back to rights and come upstairs. Stephen has an announcement to make." Valentine tossed the knife onto his desk and started upstairs. "Oh, and if I don't find my Cup, heads are going to roll."
Valentine slammed the basement door shut as Michael's first choked sob came from his throat. He clutched at Stephen's legs, crying. Stephen reached down and ran a hand through Michael's hair, trying to comfort him, but knowing he could never tell Michael there was a way out. Not when he didn't know what side Michael was fighting for.
"I don't know where his fucking Cup went!" Michael exclaimed. "Does he think I would go behind his back and betray him? I wouldn't."
"Neither would I," Stephen whispered.
The Circle was still gathered in one room when Stephen and Michael finally came upstairs. Stephen had drawn healing runes on Michael's throat, then wiped the blood away as best as possible. There was still evidence that something had occurred, but that was for Valentine to explain, not Stephen or Michael.
Celine met Stephen's eyes as he appeared in the doorway with Valentine. She clutching a drink as she sat between Jocelyn and Maryse on the couch, the exact same way she had been sitting the first time Stephen laid eyes on her, only now she was his wife, and the baby she carried in her stomach was his.
"Stephen has something to tell us," Valentine said. "Don't you, Stephen?"
"Celine and I are expecting a baby," Stephen said. He struggled to sound calm and confident while inside he was dying. He never wanted it to come to this, and yet it had.
"This is wonderful!" Maryse exclaimed. Robert merely looked surprised, having doubted Stephen all along. Michael didn't look at Stephen. He instead rested his head against his wife's shoulder, feeling no doubt betrayed. Jocelyn looked indifferent. She must have already known.
"When are you due?" Valentine asked, looking directly at Celine.
"October," Celine said. "We must have had a good honeymoon after all!" Everyone laughed.
The month of May was difficult. Valentine took the Circle members hunting at a nearly relentless pace. After a while, Stephen lost count of how many creatures he killed for no reason. He stopped caring, in fact, and found himself killing with no remorse what so ever. It wasn't until later as he washed the dried blood from his skin that he realized once more how truly terrible he was.
Valentine had changed perspective over the winter. Instead of wanting to go after vampires and werewolves, he focused his efforts on warlocks. The first time Stephen ran his sword through a helpless warlock girl, he thought of Aunt Tessa and Magnus and prayed they were far away from Idris.
Celine spent the month being fed nearly constantly by Imogen. Stephen could barely eat, and yet Celine blossomed with her pregnancy. By her fourth month she couldn't wear any of her old clothes and instead began lying around in Stephen's clothing. It reminded him of Amatis, yet he didn't say anything, because the few times Amatis did come up, Stephen and Celine fought awful screaming matches for different reasons. Celine felt guilty for breaking Stephen and Amatis up. Stephen hated Celine for stepping between he and Amatis, and while he tried to forget about Amatis, he never could.
On the nights Stephen didn't come home covered in blood, but rather merely tired from a Circle meeting he hadn't taken Celine to, she would accuse him of infidelity, saying that if he cheated once, he was bound to again. Stephen didn't want to scream at his wife, but the pressure of his life made him prone to snapping… often. By the first week of June, Stephen was sleeping on the couch in he and Celine's room while she stayed in the bed. He was back to barely sleeping. His parents never questioned him, but Stephen felt his father's scorn all the same.
In the middle of June, around what would have been Stephen and Amatis's first anniversary, Stephen was upstairs, keeping distance from his parents like usual. He and Celine had quarreled earlier in the day over something regarding the baby, Stephen was sure of it. He could no longer bear the thought of being intimate with her for various reasons, one of which was the fact that he hadn't wanted to have a baby with her, and yet, she was pregnant. The other reason was that Celine was only 17 weeks along and Amatis had been only 20 weeks when she lost Isaiah. Anything could happen, which was why Stephen didn't bother to entertain the thought of intimacy, despite Celine wanting him now more than ever.
The night before she had actually given him oral sex just before they were to go to sleep. The thought of his wife being pregnant with his child and doing such a thing repulsed Stephen so much, he pushed her away and went downstairs. He got drunk in the sitting room and woke up the next morning to Marcus's disapproving frown.
What bridges that had been mended between Stephen and Marcus were in shambles once more. Stephen felt like a ship left to drift in hostile waters along while his parents remained the land he could not reach, and might never, again.
Stephen was writing some of these thoughts in his journal when there was a knock at the door. Imogen looked in to see Celine nestled between pillows on the bed as Stephen sat at the desk.
"There's someone here from your Circle," Imogen said. She always said "your Circle" like it was Stephen's Circle to lead. Then again, the less she knew, the better. "That boy who was in your wedding."
"Michael," Stephen said. He dropped his journal onto the desk and hurried out of the room. He went downstairs to find Michael standing in the front foyer, dressed in dark pants and knee high riding boots, with a collared shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest. His cheeks were bright red from the heat of outside. Stephen grabbed him around the waist and pulled him close. Michael moaned and rubbed his cheek against Stephen's, clutching at him as if he might fall over.
"I need to talk to you," Michael whispered, his lips close to Stephen's ear.
"I have a place we can go," Stephen said. He put on his boots and walked outside to find Michael's horse waiting beside the barn. Stephen saddled his mother's horse and they rode away from the manor.
They ended up beside a small lake in the middle of the woods. It was the same place Stephen brought Amatis to be alone. It was here that they conceived their only child. Michael didn't remark on the setting, he only dismounted from his horse, kicked off his boots, and went to sit beside the lake. Stephen sat next to him, and for a long while, the only sound between them was the croak of bullfrogs and the buzz of dragon fly wings.
"Do you love me?" Michael asked.
"Love?" Stephen asked, caught off guard. He was beyond figuring out his feelings for Michael.
"Unconditionally, you know? Does what we have transcend the Circle?" Michael said. "If I told you something, would you keep it a secret? Even if it was something Valentine would want to know? Would you keep the secret for me?"
"Of course," Stephen said. "What's this about? It doesn't have anything to do with the Accords, right?" Michael sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Does it have something to do with the Mortal Cup? Or….?"
"I'm thinking about leaving the Circle," Michael said. "In the beginning, it was different. There was a clear purpose. We were going to reform the Laws. Now… Valentine wants to slaughter innocent Downworlders. I try to see the reasoning, but… I can't see it anymore. It's like everything is spinning out of control and it will never stop and… I've got a family, Stephen! I have to think about Josie and Jonathan-Michael."
"When are you leaving?" Stephen asked.
"I don't know. More than likely, during the Accords. I don't want to sneak away, like a coward, but I'm afraid…" Michael said. "It's clear Valentine will do away with whoever gets in his way. Between you and I, I think Luke's death was suspicious. There's no way Luke just so happened to die on the one night Valentine took him hunting."
"He's alive," Stephen said. "Luke. He's alive."
"Angel," Michael mumbled.
"Why don't you leave now?" Stephen asked. "Just take your family and leave. I've got connections all over the world. Go to Quebec. Valentine will never find you there." Michael smiled ruefully. He gazed out over the lake and drummed his fingers on the ground. A blush crept into his cheeks. "Michael."
"I'm staying for you," Michael said. "I don't want to leave you behind. I thought you could come with me. We could raise our families together… in Quebec."
"I have to stay until the Accords," Stephen said. "If you get a chance, leave. Run. Don't stay for me." Michael smiled and rolled his eyes. "I'm serious!"
"I will stay for you," Michael said, sobering. "I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about leaving. I wanted to…" He laid his hand on top of Stephen's, the way he had the night they became parabatai. "I wanted to say goodbye, in case I didn't get a chance to later."
"Don't say good bye. It's never good bye," Stephen said. He felt emotional, suddenly. This was a thought that had been playing in his mind for weeks now, that any night could be his last on earth. He avoided saying goodbye to Celine and his parents for that reason, because he honestly couldn't handle the thought of leaving them behind.
"Then Mizpah," Michael said. "The Lord watch between me and thee when we are absent from one another."
"Until we meet again," Stephen said, his voice breaking as his eyes filled with tears. Michael looked into Stephen's eyes and smiled.
"Until we meet again," Michael said.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Please review. The next chapter will be the second to last, so there is no teaser.