A/N edited chapter 3! please enjoy and reviews make me happy!

Chapter 3

My name is Tom Leighton. I am ten years and I don't know how many months, weeks, or days old.

I groaned, or tried to. It came out as more of a dry gurgle. My senses were slowly coming back to me.

I felt something softly caressing my skin. A breeze? So I was outside, then. I could hear the faint crackling of a nearby fire, and feel the heat on my right side, i could also hear two voices quietly conversing. One was vaguely familiar and the other I thought I should definitely know, but I couldn't quite place it. The air was musty, as though some sort of moldy plant were nearby, but I could also make out the smell of canned tuna. How long had it been since I'd last eaten? My stomach was growling, so it must have been a while.

"Where am I? What's going on? Why am I so hungry? What am I doing out here; shouldn't I be at home and in bed? Where did my parents go?" I wondered. The last thing I could remember was an…angel? Yes, that's right. He had blue eyes. Was I dead? I needed answers.

Still confused, I let my eyes flutter open, or at least tried to. I couldn't feel anything at all on the left side of my face, and my vision was so blurry it was hard to tell if I was looking out of one eye or two. But I could see two figures standing above me. I couldn't make out their faces, but it was comforting just to know that they were there.

It took a couple of minutes for my vision to clear, but when I could finally see clearly I was looking into two pairs of concerned eyes.

I'd recognize one of those pairs anywhere. They were dark green, like the leaves of those Earth "strawberries" that Mom had brought us once.

"Kelsey," I rasped, the dryness of my voice surprising me. My younger sister whimpered slightly and grabbed my hand so hard I thought she'd break it. "I was worried about you," she sobbed.

Those eyes belonged to Kelsey Maria Leighton my 7-year-old sister. With that concluded I shifted my position a bit to get a better look at the other pair of eyes.

His eyes where impossibly blue. The same eyes in the dream I'd just awoken from. They were the eyes of the angel who was carrying me away earlier. The eyes of…. J.T.!

Suddenly it all came rushing back to me. Getting dressed…. the square…meeting J.T... A flower...Kelsey's kiss…the intercoms buzzing
on…the guards firing…people running for their lives…Kelsey in trouble…Mrs. Crawford…and then searing, agonizing pain.

It came back in such clear detail that I felt the adrenaline, and fear wash back over me clenching my starved stomach so hard I felt sure a diamond would form in its place. In a flash I had shot to a sitting position and whipped my head around to look for Kelsey.

That was a huge mistake. Pain like nothing I had ever felt exploded on the left side of my face. An agonized scream tore through my throat as I fell back, my arms covering my face in a desperate attempt to relieve the pain. I thrashed about like a fish out of water, thinking only of how badly my face was hurting.

"TOM! TOM! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE! YOU'VE GOTTO STOP BEFORE YOU RIP THE BANGAGES OFF," J.T.'s voice cut through my pain-induced haze. I vaguely felt two pairs of hands holding me still, and relaxed slightly at the contact.

It took a moment, a moment that felt like a lifetime to me, but finally the pain wound down to a dull ache. My breathing was shallow and quick, and I wasn't ready to go anywhere, but at least I could think again.

"Mom? Dad?" My voice was rough, and from the dry feeling in my throat I could tell I hadn't used it in a while.

I knew better than to try moving my head again, but I managed to turn my body so that I was looking at the fire. I had expected to see my parents to be there asleep, since they wern't by my side after i had woken up. But they wern't there...in fact i couldn't see them anywhere in the clearing that we laid in. I felt confusion begin to creep back in on me.

A sudden suddering breath had me turning carefully back around to face Kelsey and J.T.

The sight that greeted me was the last thing i had expected.

Kelsey had J.T.'s shirt balled up in her fist and was sobbing into his shoulder, her tiny frame shaking. J.T. had his arms around her in a comforting, almost fatherly hug.

I caught his eye and I saw him read the question in my eye.

J.T. slowly shook his head. I briefly wondered what he meant before the realization hit me like a starship to the head. The air seemed to turn icy cold as I struggled to keep myself steady.

"No…" I stammered, "No, it can't be true." It felt as though my heart were being torn from my chest. Only a few minutes ago, I had thought nothing could be worse than the pain I was in with my face. I was wrong.

It would have been so easy to lose myself in grief, but Kelsey's sobs were growing louder and louder, and I had to be strong for her. Now more than ever, she needed a big brother.

I tried to push my own grief to the back of my mind as I very slowly sat up.

"Kelsey," I called out. Was that really my voice? Kelsey turned to me, her tear-filled eyes hurting my heart in a way I never knew was possible. I spread my arms a bit in a welcoming gesture.

With a broken sob, Kelsey pushed away from J.T. and flung herself into my arms, her face digging into my chest as she gripped me tightly. The quick movement jostled my head quite a bit, but I barely noticed the pain. All that mattered now was that Kelsey was hurting and I needed to help her. I was about to bury my face in her tangled black hair, when out of the corner of my eye I saw J.T. walking away towards the trees.

Was he abandoning us? There was no way we would survive on our own.

As if sensing my thoughts, J.T. turned around. For a second we just stared at each other. Then I looked deep into J.T.'s eyes and thought I saw a promise—a promise to come back.

So, with a nod, I turned my attention back to my weeping sister, whispering what I hoped were comforting words. I heard J.T. leave, but it didn't matter. For the moment, only Kelsey was important.

As I rocked Kelsey back and forth, I suddenly realized why J.T. had left. He knew that Kelsey needed me…and I needed her. He was giving us time to grieve for our parents in private.

So I continued whispering into Kelsey's ear, never really knowing what I was saying, but trusting that whatever I said would console her. I don't know how long we sat there. It might have been minutes, hours, days, or even centuries. But Kelsey eventually quieted down, and from her slow breathing I knew she had fallen asleep.

I shifted slowly, trying not to jostle her or my aching head, until she was lying as comfortably as I could get her on this cold hard ground. There was a folded T-shirt on the ground, so I give it to her for a pillow. I guess my head must have been resting on it earlier.

Looking down, I spotted a familiar brown leather jacket J.T. must have been using to keep me warm. I spread it over Kelsey's sleeping form, trying to ignore how small and frail she looked. The jacket almost seemed to swallow her.

Even in sleep, Kelsey's face was sad and etched with worry. No seven-year-old (or ten-year-old, for that matter) should ever feel such pain. Trying to ignore my own anxiety, I tucked the jacket tightly around her, just the way Mom used to tuck us in at night.

"She's a good kid." J.T.'s voice stated from behind me. Maybe in the past I would have jumped in shock at the sudden sound. Now, I wasn't sure I'd be fazed if the planet split in half beneath my feet.

I turned and fixed my gaze on J.T., who was leaning against a dead tree. His expression was sympathetic, and I managed to give him a hollow smile in return.

"She's too good to be going through all this s***," I said, surprising myself. I never cursed. The one time I said a bad word in front of my parents, I was grounded for months. Effectivly teaching me that cursing was bad. But as bad as cursing might be, I couldn't bring myself to be ashamed of what I'd said.

"You really shouldn't say words like that. No kid your age should even know what that means," J.T. said, his voice hard. I was about to tell him to take a hike and let me say anything I darn well pleased, but then I looked into his eyes.

His disapproval was clear in his expression, but that wasn't what stopped me. It was the fatherly look in his eye. It should have made me mad—I mean, this kid was barely two years older than me, he wasn't my father, and he had no right to try and take Dad's place—but I felt as ashamed as if he had been an adult.

"You're right. I'm sorry," I whispered, bowing my head for a moment in apology. When I looked back at him, he was frowning slightly, his face contemplative.

"It's okay. I know you won't do it again. Can you stand or walk any?" He asked gently.

My immediate reaction was "No! Of course not!", but hearing him ask made me want to try it. Pushing myself slowly to my feet, I managed to bring myself upright and take one step before I pitched forward. My legs turned to jelly and my head spun at the sudden change of pressure. I expected to hit the ground, but before I had fallen even a foot, a pair of arms shot out and caught me.

Sadly, even my light weight was nearly too much J.T.'s own skinny body. For a second, we stumbled around and the injured side of my head smacked into his shoulder, causing pain to shoot through me again. I let out a pained yelp that seemed to lend J.T. strength. He regained his balance, and thereby mine as well.

"Crap, that was a bad idea," I heard J.T. mutter, but the pain was too much of a distraction for me to make sense of the words, let alone form a response. I felt myself being dragged a couple of steps, and then slowly lowered into a sitting position. As the pain once again left and my vision cleared, I noticed J.T. had set me on a log in front of the fire.

"You okay?" J.T. gasped, tired by our brief struggle. I nodded, and for awhile we sat in silence, both catching our breath.

"How long was I out?" I asked, glancing back over to where Kelsey slept.

"About a week," J.T. sighed.

A week. I couldn't believe it. My parents had been dead for a week and I hadn't even known.

"How did you know what to do?" I asked, trying to distract myself from the grief that was threatening to swallow me again. I reached up and touched the bandaged side of my head. "You probably saved my life."

At this, J.T.'s eyes became a stormy gray. "Let's just say that in my life before Tarsus IV I learned how to treat serious injuries. I got the medical supplies from someone's house before it was burned to the ground, the night of the…" his voice trailed off. I couldn't blame him. There really were no words to describe what we had seen.

"Before Tarsus IV?" I asked, then immediately flinched. This wasn't any of my business and I could tell I was treading on dangerous ground.

J.T. actually flinched too, but after a second he answered.

"I lived on Earth until about four months ago. Got sent here to stay with my aunt and uncle after I drove a 20th century car of a cliff and my stepdad decided I needed a little…. attitude adjustment," he replied bitterly. "Like he wasn't giving me enough of that at home without sending me to this horrible rock."

I stared at J.T., disturbed by what he was implying. "Well," I thought grimly, "I guess that explains why he's so much skinnier then even us. They probably starved him before the famine."

I searched for something to say, anything that would break the sudden awkwardness in the air. I wanted to tell him how amazed I was that he was such a kind, strong person even after going through so much pain. But the words refused to come, and I could tell J.T. was uncomfortable with the way I was just sitting there staring at him.

So I opened my mouth, hoping I wouldn't say the wrong thing, and….Grrrrroooowwwlll…. My stomach interrupted.

J.T. glanced at me and I felt blood rush into my hollow cheeks. For a second he was silent, but then he threw back his head and laughed, loud and long. Slowly, my blush began to disappear and my lips twitched into a smile. Soon I was chuckling along with him.

Never had laughing felt so good. There wasn't much to laugh at, when I stopped to think about it. My left eye would probably never work again, my parents were dead, my sister and I were starving, we had watched the brutal slaughter of half the people we knew, and the only person left who cared about Kelsey and me was this boy, barely older than I was, sitting beside me. And yet, that
one awkward moment broken by the growl of an empty stomach seemed like the funniest joke in the world. My dad once told me that sometimes people laugh to relieve stress and stop themselves from going crazy. So I suppose this was just J.T.'s and my attempt to stay sane in a world gone mad.

We sobered up after a couple of minutes, remembering that Kelsey was sleeping just a few feet away.

"Here, eat this," J.T. said, picking up a half-filled can of tuna and handing it to me. There were a couple of native bugs crawling up the side of the can, and I'd never liked tuna much in the past, but my mouth watered at the thought of food. So, nodding quickly in thanks, I took the can and began shoveling the fish into my mouth. J.T. gave me a small smile and leaned back, waiting patiently for me to finish eating.

However, before I could wolf down the full contents of the can, another question occurred to me, one I had to know the answer to.

"J.T.?" I asked hesitantly.

He had been staring at the stars, but gave a small hum to let me know he was listening.

"Back in the square, when we first met…it seemed like you knew what was going to happen," I began, feeling cold dread build in my stomach.

"No, please God, no. Don't let my fears be true," I thought to myself, even as suspicion began to eat at my mind. "Please don't let J.T. be in on this."

J.T. turned towards me, his eyes showing pure confusion. I don't think I've ever seen a more expressive face on anyone.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"It's just that….when we were waiting.…" My voice kept breaking off and I felt shame at even bringing this up. "It seemed like you knew something was going to go wrong," I finally managed to blurt out.

I watched J.T.'s face closely. Confusion gave way to realization, then anger, which turned to hurt and then finally settled into quiet and gentle understanding.

"I understand what you're trying to say," J.T. replied softly. His tone made me feel even worse about accusing him. "However, if you're assuming I knew that Kodos was planning that….SLAUGHTER… you're wrong," he continued.

"But then how come you acted like you did?" I pressed. I felt terrible about the way I was treating him, but at the same time I needed to know the answer.

It was several minutes before J.T. gave a weary sigh and spoke.

"Finish eating and I'll explain to you why I had a gut feeling about what happened in the square," he sighed, his voice explaining to me in a way words couldn't just how tired he was.

Obediently, I scooped up another bite of tuna and shoved it in my mouth, barely taking time to chew before I swallowed. J.T. sent me a small, amused smile, but it quickly vanished as he began to speak.

"It kind of ties in with the aunt and uncle I was staying with," he explained, his voice turning spiteful at the mention of his family. "You see, my uncle was Kodos' main advisor, and definitely not a nice man. The only times I've ever seen him smile have been when he was beating the crap out of me. So, when he came home grinning like the madman he is, I knew something wasn't right. He told me I'd have to go to the square tomorrow. Said that Kodos had figured out a way to help with the famine, and I had to go and hear what he had to say and then bring the news back to my uncle and aunt. They promised me food. You know, since he was the governor's right-hand man, he got more food than the rest of the planet when the famine struck. I was so hungry I didn't even ask why he couldn't go himself."

"It wasn't until I got up in the morning and came downstairs to the stupid grin on his chubby face and the warm welcome at the breakfast table, that I became suspicious of why I was really being sent to the square. Being treated nicely by them was never, EVER a sign of something good. But, dang it all, I hadn't eaten in days. So, like a fool, I ignored my instincts and went anyway. When I got there and saw all the guards around, I got even more suspicious, but kept trying to convince myself everything would be okay." J.T. paused to take a deep breath, his eyes closed as if to shield himself against the harsh memories.

"Then I saw you and Kelsey, and I don't know why, but I felt incredibly protective of you guys. And then, well, like a fool I ignored my instincts again. If I had for even one second listened to my gut, I could have gotten you, Kelsey, your parents and all those innocent people out of there. I could have saved their lives, but like a coward I only looked out for myself. Hundreds of people died, just cause I cared more about the food that would be in my stomach that night. You and Kelsey would still have parents if it weren't for me. I'm sorry Tom, so, so, sorry," J.T. whimpered, looking up at me with tear-stained, pleading eyes-eyes begging me to forgive a sin he had
never committed.

Overwhelming grief once again crashed over me, but this time I did nothing to stop it. Grief for my parents, for all the lives lost, for my lost eye, for all this boy beside me had suffered through, for all he was unjustly blaming himself for, burst through me in waves of tears. I felt my breath catch in my throat and a jagged sob tore its way up and out. I did the only thing I could think of at that moment.

I threw myself at J.T., never noticing the nearly empty can of tuna hit the ground, and hugged him tightly, burying the uninjured side of my face between his neck and shoulder as I sobbed. After a hesitant second, I felt J.T.'s arms wrap around me and his hands start to rub soothing circles on my back.

"I'm so sorry, Tom. So, so, sorry. If I could go back and fix my mistake, I would in a heartbeat. I would have gotten you guys out sooner, or taken the phaser fire aimed at your parents," J.T. whispered quietly.

I let out a disbelieving laugh that came out more like a jagged cough. This kid truly blamed himself for what had happened. He kept whispering "I'm sorry" into my hair.

If I wasn't in the middle of a breakdown and trapped in the worst situation a ten-year-old could find himself in, I would have smacked the kid upside the head. As it was, I just continued sobbing.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, held in the arms of the boy who had saved my sister's life as well as my own, sobbing uncontrollably. I only know that it was long enough for my tears to run out, my throat to become raw from the air roughly dragged through it, and J.T.'s voice to grow hoarse from whispering.

It wasn't till I finally pulled back that I felt the dampness on my own shoulder and realized that J.T. had been crying as well.

I looked into his blue eyes, into the face I had already begun to associate with comfort, safety, and…yes, family. But now, I saw no gentle expression, only pain, anger, regret, and self-hatred. It was a horrible look, one I never wanted to see on anyone's face again. Yet, strangely enough, it gave me hope.

You see, under all that horrible mess of self-blame I could see something…. strength was the best word for it. Because J.T.'s eyes showed that he wasn't going to give up until he was dead.

J.T. was a fighter.

"I'm sorry," he continued to repeat.

Still sniffling slightly, I brought my hand up and smacked him as hard as I could upside the head. I was starved and extremely tired, so his head barely moved, but it shut him up.

"I had that coming," J.T. said, looking down. Shame and hurt were still plain on his face

"You idiot, you saved my sister's life…you saved my life…you tried to save my parents at the risk of your own life. You came back for me after I stupidly turned around. You have NOTHING to be sorry about!" I would have been yelling if my voice hadn't cracked as soon as I began to talk.

J.T. bent down and retrieved a canteen of water, silently handing it to me.

"Here drink this" He said his voice tight with surpressed emotions.

With a frustrated groan, since I could still see the doubt and self-blame in his eyes, I pushed it away.

"Not until you promise me you won't blame yourself for things you could never have prevented no matter how hard you tried." By now my voice was little more than a whisper.

"Fine. I promise." J.T. said, shoving the canteen back towards me.

I could see in his eyes that he was lying, but I couldn't resist the water any longer. I opened the canteen almost desperately before gulping thirstily at it like a dying fish.

I was so delighted at the feel of the cool water on my sore throat that I never heard what J.T. whispered under his breath:

"I promise to never go against what my gut instinct tells me again."

But even the distraction the canteen provided could not prevent me from realizing that I would never be able to look out for J.T. the way he looked out for Kelsey and me.

And with that realization came my first bout of guilt that would haunt me in the years to come.

End chapter 3