There Are Days like This Too

Disclaimer: I don't own Ryo or Dee and am borrowing them so that I may have a creative outlet and keep myself from doing habits that are destructive.

A/N: With the good news for those of you who have been reading my author notes… I have managed to stop cutting myself while I am writing this so woot for me. Then there was some bad news, I have been hurt really bad by two people that I really care for and about and therefore am a little worried that I might cut again…. THUS you have a new chapter. So yeah I am feeling a little emo but this chapter is not. Fluff warning

Chapter Four: Run Around

Dee's POV

I could do nothing but look at him sitting there, stunned into silence by my sudden appearance. When he did look at me he looked almost pathetic. His faze didn't last long as he quickly adverted his tear filled eyes down to the ground, to anywhere but me. His mouth was trying to form the complex words that his brain couldn't .Part of me knew hoe he felt sitting there, mind racing a mile a minute. There is s much you want to say, so much you feel you need to say but you cannot come up with anything at all. My mouth continued to open and close and I began to feel like a fish out of water, my lungs screaming for oxygen, or whatever a fish's lungs would scream out for, just like my mind screamed for answers to questions left unasked.

I wanted to know, no I needed to know exactly what was going on. Had I walked into the 'Twilight Zone' a hole in the space time continuum, or was it April first already? It had to be one of those; there was no way my Ryo would do something so… so…. Stupid! Ryo was strong, Ryo's only weakness was his kindness, and Ryo was much too intelligent for something so petty. But I knew that my eyes were not lying to me. I knew Ryo was in fact sitting there looking scared, hurt, and pathetic.

I was divided into two men. The first man was enraged and hurt. He wanted to yell, cuss and slap Ryo back into reality. After all there was no way that this was the Ryo that I had fallen in love with. The other part of me wanted to hug him, pull him close and tell him everything would be OK.

Still I didn't do anything. Well, physically I didn't do anything but stand there. For once my police training took over and I ran through the process that is taught to us as suicide prevention. Basically it was an evaluation processed used when someone was going to or likely to hurt themselves or others.

Step one was to asses the situation at hand. The situation was simple. Ryo was sitting on the bathroom floor, a wound on his left arm that was bleeding at an alarming rate, although not life threatening from the looks of it. The wound was defiantly self inflicted and by the razor he held in his right hand. He appeared to be scared of me because he refused to look at me. Perhaps it wasn't so much me that he was scared of but the fact that he had gotten caught. His face was stained with rears and his eyes were a puffy red. More tears were on the brink of falling.

Step two was to figure out the possible reasons the person would begin such behavior. Stress automatically popped into my head. The case that we were working on was a lot harder than any other we had been assigned since the day we were partnered up. We were working side-by-side with Diana on this but sacrificed out personal lives to do it. Long, odd, strenuous hours of work had gone into this case and we had almost nothing to show for it.

Step three was to make a plan of action. If stress was what was really getting to Ryo then he needed a day off that was an easy fix. However, if there was more to the problem than that then perhaps Ryo shouldn't be left by himself. I guess that would mean calling in the both of us. I knew that Diana wouldn't fuss about it at all; she was always nagging us saying that we would break if we kept going at the pace that we were going. Guess she was right. But really it wasn't Diana that I was worried about it was Rose. He would have a bitch fit that both Ryo and I had requested to have the same time off. He would believe that Ryo was sick and be ok with that but as for me there was nothing that I could do or say to him that would let me off the hook. But wait I am not the problem here Ryo is… where was I?

Another though had popped into my head. I could take him to the hospital. Judging by the number of cuts that littered his arms there was no way that this was something that he had just begun doing. No it had to be weeks in the making. But taking him to the hospital didn't seem like the best plan of action to take. I have seen a career or two go down the tubes all because of the mental stress that our job puts on us. I mentally kicked myself in the ass for having not realized it sooner. How could I of all people not have noticed?

The last step was to react, but I couldn't I was still just standing there with my hand poised over the doorknob. Finally a minute or two later I took a step forward, my hand extended.

"Ryo please let me have the razor baby." He looked like a frightened child and didn't move. I took another step into the room but this time he slunk backwards into the side of the porcelain tub. I stopped for a moment "Babe, its ok," I said softly, "its ok!" It hurt; never before had Ryo turned me away like this!

I took another step towards him and watched as he pressed himself against the tub as hard as he could. He really was scared of me, or perhaps it was what I represented, the truth. I refused to stop waling forward though. Once I had reached him I fell to my kneed and began to cry with him. I cannot explain my sudden sadness or perhaps it was more like helplessness that made me cry. I couldn't speak at all again. All I could do was make gestures with my hands up and down as if I knew how to speak sign language and feebly hope that Ryo could understand what I was trying to say to him. My gestures, however, only made him flinch as if I was moving to hit him. It was like he was another Ryo, a child, someone I had yet to meet. I quickly gathered him up in my arms and began to slowly rock him back and forth. I heard the metallic clang as the razor fell to the ground and felt his body shake violently with every sob. He did not return my gesture though. He just sat there crying like a lost chills as I ran a hand across his back and whispered 'its OK's' into his ear.

I reached down to grab his hand soon after my tears stopped. He once again flinched but didn't pull away. The blood had thankfully stopped flowing I noticed but the cut was deep. I took a look at his other arm; there were fewer scratches on it but still many that would scar.

"I'm sorry" he whispered so softly I barely heard it and in the end wasn't sure I he really did say it or if it was my mind playing tricks on me. He looked at me for the first time since I came across him. "I'm sorry" he cried out before another series of tears took over him. I did the first thing that came to my mind and grabbed each side of hi face and gently pulled him to me.

Everything I had went into that innocent kiss. All my love and hope for the future I wanted with the man that I loved. I felt the need to prove to him that I was still madly in love with him. I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me closer. I knew he understood, or at least I hoped that he did. The situation, out situation, had become one where no words were needed, words would have done nothing to ease the pain and make either one of us understand the feelings of the other.

When I pulled away I could still see a small part of that frightened child, however, I could also see some of my level headed Ryo as well. I brushed aside the hair that had fallen into his face and smiled at him.

"I love you babe, you know that?" I asked him softly. He gave me a weak smile. I grabbed his hand again and took another look at the cuts that we marring his perfect skin. I shook my head a little and stood up. Ryo grabbed onto my boxers in a desperate but silent plea for me to stay with him.

"I'm not going anywhere bun, just the medicine cabinet and the sink." I told him as I tried to work my boxers free from his grasp. He looked unsure but eventually relinquished his and but his eyes refused to let go of me. The followed me diligently as I wet a washcloth and found some antiseptic and gauze. They followed me as I walked back sat down and grabbed his arm once more. And they still refused to look elsewhere as I cleaned the wounds and began to bandage both arms. When I was done I looked at him. Our eyes met and I could tell that he was slipping back into the mind frame he had before.

"Dee," he said in a shaky voice, "why?" he asked. A tear slipped from his dark onyx eyes and he wiped it away hurriedly. I looked at him stunned.

"Why what?" I was confused; shouldn't I be the one asking why? He didn't say anything for the longest time; it looked almost as if he wasn't going to say anything at all.

"Why did you stay?" he sounded lost like he had expected me to leave, to say good bye, or get out of my life because I had seen him at a low point.

"Why would I leave you Ryo?" I couldn't wrap my head around it, why would he think that I would leave him after everything that we had been through together.

Ryo's POV

"Dee why?" I could feel my body shaking; my voice quivered matching my body's movements. I felt like I was going to lose myself again, like I was slipping away. Warm liquid began to run down my cheek which I got rid of as fast as I could.

"Why what?" he asked me. Obviously he had no clue what I was talking about, which surprised me. All I could do was look intently at him and wait. I knew or at least felt like I knew he would leave me. But to my astonishment he just stat there waiting for me to say something.

"Why did you stay?" I was beyond confused. He had just seen the monster in me. A habit, though normally under control, could classify me as suicidal. Suicidal could classify me as crazy or insane. Why would a perfectly good man waste his time with me after he saw me like this?

"Why would I leave you Ryo?" his voice was soft and confused. I started to cry again. How could he, why would he stay with me now? Not after everything I have done, not now that he has seen me like this. I flung myself at him crying rears for emotions that I didn't comprehend at this point. I was happy and sad all at the same time. I was both confused and sure. I knew what I needed to know and yet I knew nothing at all.

"I love you Dee. Please don't leave me by myself!" I pleaded with him. And then of all things he could have done he laughs at me. I pushed back to look at him. Why, why was he laughing at me?

"Babe," he finally said once he clamed down, "I am never going to leave you. Nope you are stuck with me forever." As if to emphasize his point he placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. "Just face it you are stuck with me till the end of time!"

I laughed a little at this in spite of the way that I was feeling. It was a great relief to hear those words come from him. Yet, somewhere in my mind I was still unsure if I should believe it or not. Something told me that he would leave me while another something told me that he wouldn't.

He stood up and pulled me up with him. Perhaps he could sense my uneasiness, perhaps not, but all the same he hugged me in one of the most meaningful hug that I had ever had.

I tilted my head up just enough so that I could capture his lips with mine. My arms wrapped around his naked back pulling him closer to me. I felt his army wrap around me, one on the small of my back and one on the nape of my neck, hid fingers tangled in my hair pushing me closer still. Cautiously I let my tongue graze his lips requesting access. He obliged with a playful nibble on my lip before he began to massage my tongue with his slowly, deliberately, and I felt my knees get weak.

When we parted for air I sighed a little not really meaning to. But it was very nice to have intimate contact with Dee it was something I know we had both missed. I rested my head against his shoulder and felt him place a kiss in my hair.

"Ryo I love you, don't forget that. I am here for you whenever you need me for whatever reason no matter hoe petty it may be. Hell, If you just need someone to open a jar of mayonnaise I want you to tell me!" I smiled a little at this. Perhaps all I needed was to spend some real time with Dee to get better. I hoped with all my heart that that is what I needed. That is was something as simple as that.

A/N: well there you have a little fluff. I am going to finally start in on the other half of the plot that being the murderer in the next chapter .Perhaps you will begin to understand a little more of what is going on… all of this is adding up to the rest of the story so I am sorry if it seems a little dry. Like I have said time and again I am not really writing this story for review (although I do love reviews I am not going to ask for them)

Irish Kaoru