Dr. Cox examined the mess on his shoes, "Good God Newbie, you just had to do it didn't you?"

After JD had been sick, Cox led him into the staff room and made him lie down on the couch. Dr. Cox had perched himself on the arm rest to allow himself to get a good look at the injury.

"Couldn't help getting me involved in your problems yet again could you?"

"I'm sorry" JD went to sit up only to be firmly pushed into a lying position again by Dr. Cox.

"That's a pretty nasty head injury there Barbara. You're going to need sutures so I wouldn't go sitting up any time soon."

"But Dr. Cox I need to work!" Kelso will kill me!

"You're not gonna be doing any work in this state. Looks as if you covering that shift is off too. But don't worry Newbie, I will find someone else to do it... someone who isn't a constant disappointment or a complete disaster. As a matter of fact, for the amount of work you actually do around here that is really worth anything... oh, wait... what am I talking about? Relating you to having some sort of worth? Now that would be re-hea-lly stupid of me. Now stay here. I'll get those sutures."

Sometime during that speech Dr. Cox had stood up and raised his voice as I found myself looking up shielding my eyes against the bright lights surrounding the tall shadow before me. Those lights are so bright! Dr. Cox was pissed. I felt awful, I should have been covering that shift,not making extra work for him. But to be fair, I hadn't asked for Turk to punch me. I will have to make it up-

"Sit up Susan." But I thought he just said...

"I know I just said don't, but it will stop you falling asleep."

Good old Dr. Cox, I knew he cared!

"Ok."

I could feel Dr. Cox's hands pushing on my head and the pulling of the sutures on my skin and once again I felt nauseous. I think Dr. Cox noticed as he suddenly started asking me questions.

"So Newbie, what happened? Somebody take a shine to you?" Dr. Cox asked with a smirk.

"No. Just a disagreement."

"Oh, and let me guess... I should have seen the other guy??" I decided not to answer that, I really didn't need to be made fun of.

"Ok, muffin. Seriously now, what happened? Who got handy with their fists? Because if it was a patient or a relative you know we can have them removed don't you?"

"No, no. Well, yes I know that... but.. uh.." How could I say this without getting Turk into trouble. Dr. Cox was bound to be annoyed. There was no other way than to tell him straight. "It was Turk."

Dr. Cox stopped seeing to JD's head and looked at him face to face. Here it comes.. Then he started laughing... "Ghandi?!!" Why is that funny?

"Well, I never knew he had it in him. What happened? Did he finally realise his true love is Carla and he has been confused about his sexuality all along? Would you not let him go? I mean, I know a girl can dream, but even Ghandi was out of your reach. I bet you couldn't believe your luck, and now it's all over... and look at you. Bruised and heart broken."

"You know Dr. Cox, you really do have a warped mind."

Who am I to talk? I thought that he would come through for me just this once. That's even more stupid. I think I'll tell him that.

"But then who am I to talk? I thought that you would come through for me just this once. That's even more stupid." As I finished that sentence I felt Dr. Cox cut the end of the sutures and I knew he had finished.

"Oh, well in that case I am so sorry JD. You know I care about you a lot and I hate to see you hurt. You are the best doctor I have ever had the privilege of teaching"Yeah right. "No, truthfully! You have actually been like a second son to me all this time. I've just hidden it from you because I was worried you might not feel the same."

I eyed Dr. Cox for a second. He actually looked like he meant it. This is the day I've been waiting for since I came here! What do I do??!! Thank him!! Thank you Dr. Cox! OUT LOUD YOU IDIOT!

"Thank you Dr. Cox." Phew, I really must stop doing that. "You really don't know how much that means to me. And thanks for suturing me up!"

"It's my job."

"Yeah... well... thanks anyway" He's smiling at me, he's smiling... oh no, he's frowning, he's frowning...

"Good God Barberella, you actually think I care about you? Even after all this time, you actually think I care about YOU? This is the same Perry Cox that was sat here ten minutes ago and newsflash Priscilla! He'll still be the same when he's walking out of that door a few seconds from now-"

"But-"

"No buts Newbie! I put up with your constant questions and stupid remarks because I have to. I do not choose to have you here. Believe me, if I had a choice, you would not be here, but unfortunately I do not have that luxury, so I teach you. I teach you to make sure the finger of blame does not point at me when you've killed ten people by giving them the wrong medication or giving them a wrong diagnosis. I don't do this for you Newbie, I do it because it's my job. No more, no less..."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, this was the first time Dr. Cox has truly hit a raw spot. Before, I always thought there was something under lying all of that aggression and hate. But this time I knew, there were no two sides to it. This was all I had to work from. This was the first time I realised that Dr. Cox truly did not care about me. That hug I had dreamed of since the first day I started was never going to happen. I was never going to receive the respect I had always craved. And all because of what? A bit of concussion?

"Now get out of my sight, you're pathetic."

JD stood rather unsteadily, the room still felt like it was swaying. None the less, he made his way to the door, stumbling on the thick carpet a couple of times. Before he left the room, he turned to Dr. Cox who was watching him through piercing eyes. He pointed uneasily at the sutures.

"Well... thanks... anyway.. for this." He then made a quick exit out of the staff room.

Dr. Cox sat himself down on the cheap, yet surprisingly comfortable couch deep in thought for a moment. Eventually, running over his words to JD became too much for the doctor and he allowed his head to rest in his hand while the other rubbed the back of his neck.

What have I done?