My longest chapter yet! Enjoy!
It can sometimes take a bit of time to forgive someone for upsetting you. Truth of it was I had already forgiven Turk. He has always been there for me in some way or another, even if it was through sometimes making me feel like a total dork. But Dr. Cox is a completely different story. He has been there for me, true enough, and although I doubted it before, I know he cares – even if he does tell me I'm worthless and that he hates me... Ah, who am I kidding? The man detests me. For some reason, this time I'm finding it hard to forgive him. Maybe it's because I assumed that he would come through for me when all other doors were closed, or maybe it's because I finally realise that the man I idolise is not the sort of person I want to become after all. But whatever it is, it's left me feeling sick. I think I'll just wait for Turk to finish his shift, there's no way he will let me drive home anyway.
So here I am, walking towards the OR having left Turk and Dr. Cox in the emergency room... Probably still arguing. I'll probably just crash in the on-call room tonight, maybe I'll be lucky enough to hear a bit of on-call room nookie ...mmmm ...
"Hi, are you a doctor?"
JD jumped as he was dragged out of his thoughts by a young trainee nurse.
"I'm sorry, I'm new here. Oh my God your face! Are you ok? Sorry, I thought you might have been a doctor! I don't know many of the doctors! All the ones I'm looking for are busy, I was hoping you could help me. Sorry." The young nurse then started to walk on in search of another doctor.
"Woah, it's ok! Don't sweat it, I'm a doctor" But I am no use whilst I'm concussed.
"Oh, that's great!! You're not.. busy, are you?" She looked at JD expectantly.
"No, no, of course not!" Yes, yes, you are! You can't work in this state. Tell her damnit!
"Oh, thank you so much Doctor..."
"Dorian. Well I prefer JD."
"Oh well, I'm Rebecca. Nice to meet you. You have no idea how long I've been looking for a doctor in this place! They all just kept walking past me as if I was invisible. You were the first one to notice! Anyway, what it is JD is I have been told to keep my eye on a little boy who's been admitted with a broken leg, numerous cuts and bruises and a couple of fractured ribs. A doctor was supposed to come and talk to him like 3 hours ago about how this has happened and they still haven't been. In the meantime the father has come in demanding to see his kid, I've told him that at the moment he's unable to see his child but now he wants to know why, and until a doctor has spoken to him I'm not comfortable with not letting him see him. He's a big guy, and pretty tough looking too! And I-"
"Ok, that's fine. So, what are you wanting me to do exactly?"
"Speak to the child and maybe find out what happened?"
"What?" I hate child abuse cases "I'm not even a paediatrician."
"I know... well I didn't know that.. but it's just talking. I would do it myself, but I'm only new and I really wouldn't know what to say. I just need to know what's going on, because if this guy comes back and we still don't know I'm worried he might snap. Please?" Oh John Dorian, you're too soft.
"Ok... I guess I could just have a little chat to the kid. But I can't promise anything!"
"Oh, thanks JD! Your a lifesaver!!"
Ok, I knew I shouldn't really be doing this. But she needed a helping hand, she's new, sometimes people forget how hard it is starting out in a hospital. And also she is fiiiine. Anyway, what could go wrong with doing a hottie a favour? Just talk to the kid and leave. No one will ever know.
"Pumpkin, where are you going?" Now that's just bad timing.
"I, uh, thought I'd say hello to a few of the children in paediatrics.. You know how I love kids?!"
Oh, the hatred. It oozes from every pore.
"Listen Newbie, I am not deaf and I am certainly not stupid. If you really think you're going to talk to yet another kid about an abuse case you've got another thing coming. You get yourself too involved and too emotional. And do you really think that nurse doesn't know who you are?"
Rebecca jumped slightly when Dr Cox gave her a side glance.
"Do you ever wonder why people miraculously seem to come across you when there is a problem with an abuse case? It's because eh-he-heverybody knows that John Dorian cares too much and wont say no. They come to you to shovel off all the crap they can so they don't have to deal with it. So what do you say kid," Kid? "Do you tell 'em where to shove it? Or do you go in there - for free I might add considering your shift finished what? Two hours ago and listen to some sob story about how mommy doesn't love me and daddy gets his belt out every night, then have to deal with said daddy as he punches you in the nose and kicks you in the ribs just as a tribute to the last time you dealt with an abuse case?"
"You know, abuse is not a joke."
"Yes, genius I know, remember, alcoholic father, handy with his fists? But if you decide to keep dipping your hand in the piranha tank one day you're gonna get bitten. Play with the cards you're dealt Newbie, don't take someone else's cards too. Honest to God, this is me being helpful."
"That is you being helpful? By telling me what a pushover I am and calling me kid, thinking I'm gonna come running? Granted, I normally would.. but not today. Have you ever considered that maybe people come to me because I'm good at what I do, rather than just using me because I won't say no? And now I'm stuck in a case of, do I help the child and look like a complete doormat? Or do I follow you and shocker! I will still look like a complete doormat. So I think I will choose the option that actually helps somebody other than you and your self-esteem...Good day Perry."
Yes, that told him. Now, walkaway without looking back. You can do it.
"Fine Newbie, have it your way. 'Cause God forbid that you were ever anything but a disappointment to me."
Cox stared after JD just long enough to see that the comment had hit home, noting the drop in JD's posture and lowering of his head. Satisfied he had won this round, he made his way to the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee and a snack.
"Hey Thomas. I'm back, I've brought a friend of mine I'd like you to meet. This is Doctor Dorian. Now be nice to him ok, he's got a poorly eye kinda like you!"
"Hey Thomas. If you want you can call me JD, do you prefer Thomas or Tom? Maybe Tommy?"
Ah, no response. This is always a difficult situation because until the kid starts talking you never know quite how to approach them. Poor kid, he must be so scared. Wired up to all these machines, in pain, not knowing whether the person who did this is about to walk through the door. Or maybe that's just me, but that thought still terrifies me. Maybe I should have listened to Dr. Cox after all.
"Well, I'm guessing you're a Tommy. You have that mischievous look about you. I bet you're a right little prankster aren't you when you get going? You look like the kinda kid that would put cling film over the toilet seat or something funny like that."
Yes! A smirk. Rebecca is looking at me like I've just worked miracles, the kid obviously hasn't smiled since he got here. I would like to pretend that I have a natural rapport and sixth sense for detecting what kind of person a patient is. But I don't. Most nine year old boys are pranksters, and even if they aren't, cling film over the toilet seat is hilarious to any kid. But if it works, it works.
"It's Tommy."
"Ah!! I knew it!! I'm psychic you see. Ask me anything!"
Tommy seemed to liven up at the thought of playing a game and JD relished the fact that he had got the youngster to smile.
"What's my middle name?"
JD closed his eyes and moved his index fingers to his head then rubbed his temples as if receiving some sort of message.
"Robert!"
"Nope"
"Ok then... Christopher"
"Nope"
"Oh... Ok, I know!... William!"
"Yes that's right! How did you guess?"
"No guessing involved little man! Like I said, I'm psychic!" Plus I can see his chart from where I'm sitting.
JD gave Tommy a few seconds to gather his thoughts. They both knew what was coming and what needed to be said, but figuring out how to say it was a completely different matter. Rebecca sensed the change in mood and decided it was her cue to leave.
Ok, time to go in.
"So, uh, Tommy. You're in a pretty bad way here pal. You wanna tell me what happened?"
"Playing sports." Yeah right.
"Oh right, wow. What were you playing?" Hit the pinata? And you were it?
"Uh, basketball."
"Must have gotten pretty rough. Weren't playing with the big guys were you?"
"Mmm..."
"Those big kids. You know, when I was your age, the big guys picked on me too. I was so scared of them, it was hard because at the time, they seemed so big. You know what I mean?"
Tommy nodded in response.
"But I'll tell you now little man, these big guys don't seem so big when you're grown up like me. And there are plenty of grown ups in here who can help you out if you want them to leave you alone. What do you say? Are you ready to join the army against the big guys?"
Again, Tommy nodded.
"Ok, but first you gotta tell me what happened. We can't recruit dishonest soldiers you know!" God I hate this part.
Tommy shifted uncomfortably and pulled himself into a sitting position, much to the disagreement of his cracked ribs.
"My dad..."
JD looked the child in the eyes, urging him to continue.
"He hits me... not all the time. Sometimes when he gets drunk, he just gets so annoyed. I left my truck on the stairs. He got so angry, he's always telling me to keep my toys upstairs but I forgot and he smashed it up..."
Tears were welling up in Tommy's eyes as he recounted the story of how his father had pushed him down the stairs and repeatedly kicked him in the ribs until he decided he wanted another drink. Then Tommy told of how he waited until his father had passed out on the couch to crawl into the streets to be found by a passer by. All he could remember was reaching the sidewalk and then next thing he knew was waking up in a hospital bed.
JD waited for the child to calm down before continuing. He did not want to distress Tommy any more than he already had, and on the other hand he could feel tears welling up in his own eyes waiting to betray his "strong doctor" facade.
"Well can I just tell you how clever you were to go out into the street to be found. You know, if you hadn't you would be feeling at least five times the pain you are feeling right now! Trust me. You did a good thing. I also just want to ask you one more question." Here it goes, the hardest question a doctor will ever ask. Be too vague and you may not get a clear answer, but be too forward and you may scare him off. Find a happy medium.
"Right, um, did your father.. ever try to um, touch you somewhere you didn't feel comfortable with?"
"What do you mean?" Oh thank God, that usually means no.
"Well, around your... private parts? Did he ever touch them, or make you touch his?" I feel sick.
"No, why?" Oh Good God, thank you. I always find that the sexual abuse part is always the hardest to deal with. Abusing a child in any way is completely disgusting in any body's eyes, but there is always a huge stigma attached to sexual abuse. And the embarrassment of putting the kid through a physical exam when they know what you're looking for.
"Oh, no reason buddy! Ok, you've done really well, I'm proud of you. Now what I need you to do is wait here whilst I call a nice lady who will come and speak to you about what you've just told me. You won't need to tell her everything, she will already know because she's psychic like me. But she'll decide whether you get to join our army against the big guys, ok?"
"Um, ok. JD?"
"Yeah little man?"
"Will you be here when the lady comes to see me?" Damnit, don't get too involved. You've done your job, now go.
"If you want me there, I'll be there! Now you get some rest! New recruits have to be fit."
"Thank you JD."
At that moment, I knew coming back to that kid would be worth it. Involved or not, it didn't matter anymore. I was helping him, that was the important part.
JD left the room, called a social worker to arrange an appointment for Tommy and then approached Rebecca to tell her the situation.
"Ok, we had a little chat and he told me his father did that to him. You will need to give him some pain killers 'cause I noticed they are due to run out in the next thirty minutes and those fractured ribs are gonna hurt. Everyone working in this department needs to be informed that the father is not to see his son and if he does return, which he will at some point he needs to be told a social worker is coming in to assess the situation. Tommy's appointment is tomorrow at 12 noon, I will be back so don't worry about that."
"Ok, but I'm sure Doctor Terry can deal with it from here. You don't need to worry, I was just stuck, that's all. But thank you so much for your help JD!!"
"Hey, it was no trouble at all. But Tommy has asked me to be there tomorrow, so I kinda feel I shouldn't let him down, but after that, he's all Terry's patient." JD smiled at Rebecca knowing full well that she was thinking that Dr. Cox was right all along.
"Oh dear, Donna" Once again, on cue.
"What do you do? Follow me around or something?"
"Today yes, because a) you have concussion and you should not be working and b) I knew you couldn't resist getting too involved and I enjoy rubbing my correctness in your face." Is correctness even a word?
All of a sudden the sound of shouting cut through their conversation.
"I want to see my son!!!! How dare you tell me what I can do with my own son!!!" The father.
As usual, as I do in any high stress situation, I panicked and froze. I hate violence and I was this man was not going to be friendly. In the back of my mind I recall Dr. Cox saying 'I know that voice' and then Rebecca calling for his help. Time seemed to slow as I watched Dr. Cox approach the man from behind and grasp his arm. The man was tall, seemed to be mid to late fifties but he had his back to me. I could tell the situation wasn't calming down as Dr. Cox looked pissed.
"Newbie! Explain to this man why he cannot see his son!"
And just like that I snapped back into action, trust Dr. Cox to drop me in it!
JD approached the man, hands shaking trying to focus all of his energy on stopping his voice from quivering, he needn't have worried. The man threw off Dr. Cox and spun round, stopping dead when he saw JD.
JD also froze mirroring the man's wide eyed expression, although he looked a little more scared.
This time, everyone surrounding the pair seemed to freeze too, waiting for one to make a move.
JD suddenly loosened his stance and looked to the floor.
"I think we need to talk." The man said nothing.