BPOV
Day three without Edward and I still woke up the same way: hair wet and matted, shirt soaked and see-through, and bed sheets wet because of my shirt.
I hated it so much.
He had no idea what he did to me. How he made me feel.
I loved to wake up with his cool arms embracing me. I loved the feel of his sculpted chest under my head. Yeah, it did get uncomfortable at times, but it was worth it to know that he wouldn't leave me at night.
I still questioned if what I did was the right thing.
I was confused, lost, and insecure.
I fought all this week about calling him. You should. Do it.
Well, I know I should, but would I be able to talk to him? Would he be able to talk to me?
I didn't know. I wanted to know, though.
I withdrew my phone from my nightstand and held it tightly.
Was this the right thing to do?
Yes. Just do it, Bella.
I flicked the cover of my phone and revealed the number pad. Opening my number pad, I scrolled down to find the number I was looking for, and pressed the 'send' button.
It rang once, and the butterflies overtook my stomach. They fluttered hard and furiously.
It rang again. Maybe he won't pick up again.
I was about to hang up on the third ring when the phone picked up.
I didn't hear anything but sound. I listened intently as if trying to figure out what it was.
I heard continuous kissing sounds, and a groan?
"Tanya…please." His velvety voice pleaded.
Wait…..did he just say Tanya? So he is cheating.
"I told you not to pick up the phone." I heard a woman's voice.
"It was important."
"How is she important?" Bitch.
"Because, she just is, now can you stop?!" He started getting irritated.
There was a pause on the other end before I heard his voice into the receiver.
"Bella?" I loved the way his melodic voice said my name. It made me feel invincible almost; as if I was floating on air.
He sounded pained. Man, this guy was an actor!
"Bella, please don't cry."
Why would he ask me if I was crying. His detailed hearing must be messing up. Wait…was I crying?
I lifted my hand to my face and felt wetness. With two brisk movements, I wiped off any traces of my tears before clearing my throat and speaking into the receiver. "I'm not crying Edward."
"Yes you are. I heard it roll down your cheek."
"Edward, I'm not going to argue with you on whether or not I was crying."
"Okay then. How are you doing?"That fucker. Is he seriously asking me how I'm doing? He knows damn well how I'm doing. He left me before. He should remember how I was.
"Edward, you left me in the meadow, crying and hurt; I sent you a text message, apologizing to you, and asking you to come and pick me up and you ignored it, leaving me to walk home; and I just spent the last three days drenched in my own sweat and tears because I have had nothing but nightmares and you're asking me how I'm doing? Are you fucking kidding me, Edward?"
"She's got quite a mouth for you, babe." Tanya snickered.
"Shut the hell up, slut." I heard a growl emerge from someone I presumed was Tanya. Edward remained quiet.
"Edward, I'm waiting on you." I tried my best to urge him to speak to me.
"Bella, I'm sorry. You asked me to leave you when I offered to take you home. I didn't get a text from you asking for me to pick you up, and I'm sorry you're having nightmares. I can't help you with that."
"Listen here you ass, I sent you a text message, and later when you're not fucking Tanya you can see for yourself. And what do you mean you can't help me with my nightmares? You're the cause of them!"
"I'm the cause of them? How is that Bella?"
I laughed. He asked, "What is so funny?"
"I just find it hilarious that you find yourself not guilty in any of this."
"I didn't do anything, Bella."
"You didn't do anything? I'm having all of these nightmares because you left me in the forest. I'm having nightmares because you left me in the meadow. Do you see the comparison in both of them Edward? Do you?"
It was silent again, so I continued.
"The issue is that you left when you said you wouldn't. You promised me and you broke that by doing the same damn thing you said you wouldn't."
"Bella…I didn't promise you anything."
"Yes, you did! Why are you lying to me? Why are you lying to yourself, Edward? Does it feel good or something?"
"I'm not lying to anyone. I'm telling the truth. I didn't promise you anything and I don't appreciate you calling me and instigating another argument. I left in the first place because I needed to clear my head and-"
"And I suppose Tanya is going to help you do that, Edward? You get a good fuck and your problems are suddenly gone? Wow." I shook my head in disbelief. He seriously was going to sit here and justify what he did wrong?
"Yes she is. In fact, we are talking it out. She really wants to help me."
"That is some bull Edward Cullen. Talking it out doesn't include sex."
"It does in our case."
"What happened to the 'I will never hurt you again?'"
"I never told you that. You seem to make up a lot of stuff, Bella."
"I'm not making it up! You told me you wouldn't hurt me again when we were about to leave Volterra. We were sitting in the lobby of the Volturi's office. I'm not stupid. My mind is not mediocre."
"Your mind is mediocre. You can't even think straight when I kiss you nonetheless stay conscious. I am going insane watching you try and figure yourself out. It's irritating!" He yelled.
"I was not trying to figure myself out; I was trying to figure us out. From the outside looking in, it looked like we were the perfect couple with minimal problems, but on the inside, I knew there was something wrong before I figured it out. You acted so different when I rescued you from the Volturi and I spent months trying to unravel it. The issue is Tanya."
I heard another snicker but before I could call Tanya out, Edward spoke to her. "Tanya, please."
"We are supposed to help and support each other, Edward. That's what a relationship is. That's how it lasts and that's what we did until recently. A problem surfaced itself and you ran away from it instead of us figuring it out together. We weren't a team like we always were." The tears resurfaced at my eyes but instead of feeling sadness, I was filled with anger when the bitch snickered…again.
I have had enough of her!
"Listen Tanya, I don't know what is so funny, but obviously he loves me more than you if all he goes there to do is fuck you. I mean, if you really think he does it out of love, you obviously are too deep into his good looks. It is okay to never move on to someone else but to hover is simply ridiculous on your part." I was pleased with my choice of wording. It made me smile, almost laugh actually. I wanted to go into hysterics when I heard her growl. Then I heard her voice.
"Well obviously he comes here for me because you can't fulfill his needs better than I can. If you even tried I think you would have died by now. He is too much for you to handle. How do think it is on his side, trying to hold back on you when you can't even please him correctly? I doubt you've even had sex with him yet." The last few words went high on pitch. I knew she was smirking.
I tried to think of a comeback, but I couldn't. She was right. I couldn't do all the things that Tanya could do for him, but I knew what I could do for him. I could love him until I am on my deathbed.
I still did love him, even though I should have hated him. I really should have, but I couldn't. I wasn't the one to hate someone for hurting me. I never did have it in me.
"Bella," it was Edward again, his voice a little fierce this time, "I will be back in Forks later tonight. I have a lot to get off of my chest that I cannot say in front of Tanya. I have to go but I will see you at your house soon. Goodbye." He hung up.
That damn Edward. I have a lot to get off my chest too and I guarantee that he won't like it.
I can't wait for him to be here.
Until then, a shower will do me good and I think I should call Alice. I've been ignoring her calls lately.
I arose from my bed and headed to the shower. I needed it and so did my hair.
My shower was short, but in the end I was cleaned of my sweat and tears, and my hair had started to relive. I brushed my teeth and gargled before exiting the bathroom and calling Alice.
The phone rang once before a pixie-like voice answered.
"Bella!! I haven't talked to you in like forever. Why did you keep forwarding my calls?"
"Sorry about that Alice. I've been really down lately."
"I heard. Charlie said you would wake up in the middle of the night screaming."
I didn't know I did that.
"Oh."
"I didn't want to tell you that I foresaw the whole argument and how it went. I wanted you to do this on your own."
"Thanks, Alice. Things kind of went downhill after Edward left. I've been really depressed lately. I didn't think he would steep that low and leave me after he promised he wouldn't. Then what really has had me upset was that he was sleeping with Tanya behind my back to avoid trying to fix all of our problems. I thought he loved me Alice."
"I thought he did too. He seemed so happy every time you came around and when you left he would follow and spend the night with you. I don't even know when the last time he stayed at the house without you was."
"I'm starting to have second thoughts about him Alice. I love him but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm exhausted. It feels like I'm dependant on him for everything, including standing on my own two feet."
"Don't have second thoughts about him. He just needs time to clear his head and get his act together. I've known Edward for a very long time. He will come around. I don't know when, but he will."
"I don't think I can wait for him Alice, but maybe you can talk to him about it. We argue every time we talk now."
"I'm sorry Bella, but I can't. This is an issue between you and Edward. You guys have to solve your own problems. I can't be there to help you guys every time something goes wrong. I tried to get him to go back and pick you up after I found out that he left you in the meadow overnight. He just ignored me and made me buy him his ticket to Alaska." Her voice lowered and it sounded like she was frowning.
"I talked to him this afternoon and he said he would be back in Forks tonight, so we could sit down and talk things out." I didn't want Alice to know how he threatened me.
She didn't deserve to know. Like she said, this was between Edward and me.
"Well, see, this is exactly what you guys need. If you begin to talk about your issues, with time, your relationship will get stronger." If she only knew what was going to happen tonight.
"I know, but I'm nervous as to how this all will go. He seemed beyond mad when he left me in the meadow. I just don't want this meeting to go awry. I don't want to mess up everything we built."
"It'll be fine. You won't mess everything up. I guarantee that."
"I've messed up everything up so far."
"This time will probably be different. Just have some faith. You really want to work this out though. If I know Edward, he wouldn't want to screw things up with you."
"I hope so Alice. I really do." I took a breath before continuing, "Alice can I ask you something?"
"Sure, ask me anything Bella. What is it?"
"I might regret this later but I think I want to go shopping."
"Really?" Her voice returned to its normalcy. "I haven't been to the mall since last night! There has to be new sales by now. Oh, Bella, you don't know how happy you've just made me! I will be at your house in five, be ready."
"Okay. All I have to do is get dressed. See you soon Alice."
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Bella, don't fall for it! You've been so strong. Don't think you can still fix it.
Leave me some love!