Okayy, so chapter 14 is finally here!! :) I've been having a few difficulties these past few weeks. And I must tell you, that my flashdrive broke two weeks ago and ALL my FF chapters and upcoming stories are gone :'( So I have to rewrite a whole outline for this story and I haven't been writing as much as before, so the idea isn't clear in my mind but more than likely, if I sat down and really thought about it, I could rewrite the outline.

So, that being said, here's your long awaited chapter!! I hope you like :) Read the A/N on the bottom please :)

EPOV

Determination.

It was the feeling I had felt when I had left my Bella; it was the same feeling I had when I had come up with this plan. I was even more determined than I had ever been in my 117 years of living and it was because of the reason behind it.

Bella.

Everything I did in the day or had thought about revolved around her. And I must say the memories behind them are worth every second I had with her. It was the time where I understood myself and Bella knew who I was.

This was before I had panic attacks of losing Bella due to what lied hidden in the darkness that was my past. It was never something that I thought would coincide with the present time. It was something I thought I would be able to open up about when I was mentally ready and I believed Bella could handle it.

I had everything planned out when everything crash landed a few hours ago. Now I've been placed into a situation where anything in my past is the cause of the now. It is the cause of the events that are taking place and is about to take place. And what is about to take place is the key that releases the chains that tie me to the old, and it brings me closer to fixing my mistakes and having a better future not only for myself, but for Bella.

I looked around the airport bobbled with heads of various people: business men and women making their arrival or departure; young children being held close by overprotecting mothers; airport security in their blue uniforms, keeping a watchful eye on the passer-buyers; and then there was me, Edward Cullen, standing in the middle of it all. Just watching as my eternal life passed me by.

I pushed lightly through the crowd of people and made my way over to the terminal and saw my plane boarding. Walking through the narrow tunnel toward and onto, I made my way to first class seating and sat down.

I buckled the lap belt and then closed my eyes and for the first time in years, take time to realize what was happening in my life.

I am a monster.

My family turned against me.

Tanya blackmailed me.

I hurt Bella.

Things were never supposed to get this far. Bella was never supposed to find out this way. How did I let things get this far?

Where did it begin?

Flashback: 1 year ago

It early Friday morning and I had just come back from taking another "break" and Alice had to hold Bella hostage. As much as she hated it, it was my only way to keep her safe.

I was relaxing on my lounge chair, hands behind my tousled hair, gazing at the white ceiling, trying to note something of significance on it. I did this quite often when I came back from Tanya's. As to why, I would never know.

Was it because the ceiling held no color, so therefore I would be able to clear my mind of the secret I'm keeping from Bella or was it because I would know that I will be visiting Tanya again very soon?

Either way, Bella can never find out. This will crush her. It will crush me to know that it crushed her.

What will she think of me if she were to find out: A cheater, a liar, a toy?

No. She must never find out.

Removing my right hand from under my arm, I glanced at my wristwatch.

6:45. I need to change my clothes and be at Bella's house by 7:05.

Flipping off the chair, I walked to my closet.

What should I wear today? I could wear my blue button down, I brought the arm of the fabric to me, or I could go for a casual look today. Hmm, casual I will do. But what color shirt should I wear? Green, no. Red, no, too….bloody-looking. Blue? No, I wear that color almost every day. Black? No, I'm pale enough, no need to look Goth. Grey? Ah, what the hell.

I pull the short-sleeved shirt from the hanger and throw it on the lounger. Turning back to my closet, I focused my attention to the lower half.

What kind of jeans? Skinny? Hell, no!! I still want to know why Alice even bought those for me, when I clearly told her I was NEVER going to wear them. That damn pixie!

Okay, so regular jeans. Blue jeans?? No, stay away from blue!! Black jeans?? Hmmm, I might be getting somewhere. Okay black jeans with the chain or no chain? Chain, no chain, chain, no chain, chain….no chain. I grab the jeans off the hanger and turn and walk back to my lounger.

Quickly stripping off my old clothes, I throw on the clothes I had just set out and grab some black sneakers to throw on too. Going to my wall mirror, I look at my appearance and was not happy at what I saw.

Damn! I look Goth. This is not what I wanted!!

Taking a quick look at my wrist watch, I noted that I didn't have much time to change. I would have to deal.

Quickly grabbing my keys, I ran out of my room and downstairs.

"Good morning, honey," Esme greeted when I reached the foot of the stairs.

"Good morning, Esme," I said as I gave her a quick hug before rushing out to the garage.

Flicking on the lights, I watched as the lights turned on one by one, illuminating each car: Mercedes, BMW, Jeep, Porsche, and Volvo. My precious baby: the only thing that comes first before Bella.

Jogging my way over, I jumped into the driver's seat and started the ignition. As the garage door rose, I watched as the grey clouds captured the sky and the drizzle that fell from it. I sped out as soon as I was cleared, going to get my Bella.

I haven't seen her in a week. I hope she isn't upset that I left so suddenly. I know it was the third time in two weeks but, I don't think she worried about it to much.

"But you didn't return any of her texts and phone calls any of the times you left," my conscious reminded me.

Riiiight, I forgot about that. Knowing her, she's mad, but everyone knows that won't last long anyways, so I don't care. I should though.

I turned the corner and almost immediately spotted the all-too-familiar house. Right on the curb, stood a figure. Shivers overtook her frame.

Why the hell is she out in the rain?!?

I pulled up next to her and she almost forced herself to get in the car. I turned the heat up, full blast.

"Hey," I started, turning in her direction.

She had her arms crossed, anger apparent in her features. She looked straight ahead and didn't say a word to me.

"Bella, I'm sorry for leaving again. I had something pop up that I had to take care of."

"We're going to be late to school."

I chuckled, "Bella, I could get there in two minutes if I really wanted to. We have 20 minutes left until school starts."

She heavily sighed, making it apparent she had no interest to talk.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it Edward, just take me to school."

"Not until you talk to me."

"Well I guess, we'll be sitting here all day then."

"Bella, don't do this."

"Do what, Edward? You disappear for the third time in two weeks without any notice, and come back when you feel like. And you don't answer my phone calls, so what am I doing wrong?" She yelled as she threw her hands in the air, still avoiding looking my way.

"I never said you were doing anything wrong, I just want you to talk to me."

"I am," she crossed her arms again.

"I told you, where I was, what more do you want?" I felt the anger well up inside of me.

"I want the fucking truth Edward!! I'm not stupid. I know you're hiding something from me," I saw as the tears started to well up in her chocolate eyes. Her face was a complete rosy color.

"Bella, I'm not doing anything! Stop being small-minded and just listen!"

"Listen to what Edward? You haven't given me anything but some damn excuses!"

"And I do it, because I don't have to explain a damn thing to you. You aren't worth an explanation!"

Her face turned to me, filled with astonishment. The tears spilled over, and she reached over to her side and unbuckled her seat belt. Her hand softly touched the door and simultaneously pushed it ajar. Stepping a foot out of the car she used her left hand to lift up her backpack and once it was secured on her shoulder, and closing the door behind her.

I watched as the rain darkened and dampened her hair, and she made no effort to run into her house. Once safely in her house, I turned toward the windshield, and tightly squeezed my eyes shut.

What the fuck just happened?

I felt my hands slam on the steering wheel, and then nothing. Everything became void in that moment and I didn't want it. I wanted Bella, sitting next to me, smiling, and telling me all about her past weeks. I wanted to hold her hand on the middle console, I wanted to hold her backpack while walking into school, and I wanted to walk her to class.

I…I wanted to taste the sweetness that fell from her lips as she did the same to my cold ones.

You've really screwed up Cullen.

I sighed heavily before opening my eyes, and spotting an all-to-familiar Porsche coming my way.

Aw shit. You're in for it now Cullen.

The bright car pulled into the driveway behind me. The door opened and a head full of spiky hair was produced from it. A yellow umbrella was opened over her head and she closed her car door.

Turning in the direction of my car, she made her way over and opened the door.

"Cullen," she spoke with fierceness. I looked up at her and didn't like what I saw, but what I saw was scary.

Note to self: Never upset Bella because when you do, you get an angry pixie hot on your ass.

"What do you want, Alice?" I said exasperated.

"Oh, nothing, I just came over to let you know that you're an ass."

"Thank you for the news flash. Anything else?" My tone dripped with sarcasm. I wanted her away from me and my car. I needed to be by myself and she wasn't helping at all by being here.

She took her pointer finger and sat it on her chin, looking as if she was thinking, "Uh, no, I don't believe so, but I wanted to let you know earlier that I love your outfit."

"Alice, shut the hell up and get the fuck away from my car."

"See you at school brother dearest," she said with fake glee.

Slamming the door she ran to the Bella's front door and knocked. It was then I had to leave. I didn't want to see Bella. Revving my engine and putting the gear in drive, I sped off and went to school.

School was complete hell for me. Bella avoided me at what seemed like all costs. She even didn't sit next to me at lunch. The only time I spoke to her was during Biology. I sent her notes and she simply ignored them.

When school ended, I walked out to see her, standing at the passenger side of my car. I instantly remembered that my siblings each had something to do after school today and I would be her only ride home.

I took brisk steps to the car. Upon reaching the driver's side, I looked up at Bella, just to let my eyes fall over her. Depression and betrayal was clearly displayed on her face. Her position on the other side of the car shifted and her eyes met mine for the first time all day. Almost immediately, she looked back down. The moment was short-lived but at least she acknowledged that I was here.

Unlocking the doors, I slid in, and I heard Bella sit right beside me.

Should I try to make conversation or should I just drive her home and call it a day?

I don't know. I just want to make the right decision and right now, those options are really limited.

Just suck it up and talk to her. She is the way she is because of you.

Well, I guess there's the answer to my problems.

I sighed. Well here goes nothing.

"Bella, please talk to me."

"Are you gonna start the car? I have things I have to do."

"Bella, you don't ever have anything to do."

She turned to me, forehead crinkled and her wide brown eyes narrowed, "Yes, Edward, I do. I'm sorry I can't sit around and wait for you hand and foot, but you know, I want to live a somewhat happy life since you won't change me. I would like to do something fun other than sit in my room and cry over you. Unlike you, I have an hourglass over my head and it's slowly running out. Now take me home."

"I said I was sorry, what else do you want?"

"I think what I want was just made clear a few seconds ago."

I growled, "Bella, I'm not taking you home until you talk to me."

"Well then, I'm walking home." She unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbing her backpack in her left hand and pushed the door open with her right. Stepping out of the car, she slammed the car door and began walking to the entrance of the parking lot.

I got out of the car.

"Bella, get back in the car."

She kept walking.

Dammit Bella.

"BELLA!" I shouted.

She stopped, turned in my direction, and lifted her right hand, her middle finger up for me to see. That was it. I sped until I was in front of her. I grabbed her hand and forced it down.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted.

"Let go of my hand."

"No! I did nothing all day but try and talk to you and you did nothing but blow me off. I tried to explain things to you earlier but you flipped out."

"You're mad because I blew you off? Edward you left me in the middle of the week for the third time this week with no explanation of where you were, when you were leaving, or what you were going to do. You don't answer my phone calls or my texts messages and then you come back and expect me to talk to you?"

"I came back to you! It shouldn't matter where I was as long as I came back. I thought that was important to you?" At least that's what I thought.

"Edward, get off me, it hurts."

"No, I want you to talk to me. Let me make up for not being there."

"Get off of me!" Her face became a cherry red, and tears streamed down her eyes. I let go of her hand and watched as it fell back to her side.

She lifted the same arm to her face and I watched as she examined her hand. It didn't move.

Aw, fuck, Cullen. You broke her wrist.

I reached out my hand to help her, but she drew back from me and then cradled her arm with her left hand, before going around me. I heard her feet move farther and farther away from me.

I stood there for a couple more minutes trying to decipher the events that just took place.

What did I just do?

I shook my head and made my way to my car. I pulled the door ajar and turned in Bella's direction. I watched as she took careful steps along the sidewalk across the street.

Is this what we've come to? Her back turned against me? Her trust and truthfulness in me lost? Where do we go from here?

More questions filled my head as I got in and revved the engine of my car and pulled out, turning on a different road than Bella and back to catch a plane back to Alaska.

End Flashback

That's where it began. That's the first time I hurt Bella both physically and emotionally. Things should have been different. I should have told her everything, my whole past. I ruined it, and there's a chance she may never even remember anything. Then there's the chance that she will remember and won't want to forgive me.

What will I do then?

If that time does come, I would be very lucky if she even looked in my direction just once or if she spoke my name again.

I lifted the shade on the airplane window, the ground no less than 10 feet below me.

"We would like to thank you for flying the US Continental. We hope you enjoyed your flight. Please stay seated until we have come to a complete stop," the pilot spoke.

I heard as the wheels touched the ground and skidded as the plane tried to slow its speed.

Anxiety filled my body for the first time. I was going to stand up for my life and Bella against Tanya for the first time and it felt…good. Joy was something I haven't had for a while and now that I'm so close to grabbing it, seeing it, and tasting it, I felt filled with jubilance.

I looked up and saw the people had begun exiting off the plane. I unbuckled my lap belt and stood up, trying to hold back my impatience as I had to wait to get in line.

A woman was next in line. She had a son that could be no more than about three. She stopped when she saw me. Giving a friendly smile, she nodded her head toward the line.

"Thank you ma'am," I told her.

"You're welcome."

Getting in the line, I walked off the plane and into the terminal. I walked at a human pace as fast as I could. I was out of the airport in about 10 minutes and already in my Volvo that slept in the airport. Yep, I had two. I come here so often that it only made sense that I bought one. It was a waste to have a rental.

Revving up the engine, I pulled out of the airport parking lot. I sped down the familiar roads, closing in on my destination.

I made a sharp right down a hidden road and rode it out until I saw the house that had been my vacation house for the past couple of years.

Abruptly stopping, I took the key from the ignition, and jumped out of the car. I walked up the driveway and on the porch steps where the porch light brightly shone.

I hesitantly lifted my hand and knocked on the door.

I didn't wait long before the door opened and Tanya stood before me a Cheshire smile on her face.

"Edward!!" She opened her arms and came towards me, trying to give me a hug.

I placed my hand on her collarbone and stopped her from proceeding. Her smile shifted downwards at my move.

"Edward what's wrong?"

It was time. I couldn't chicken down again. Not after everything that's happened. I need to do this for my family, for me, and most importantly for Bella.

I took a deep breath, and looked Tanya in the eyes before finding my voice.

"Tanya," I said firmly, "I'm done."

A/N:

So yeah, I left you guys on the edge of your seat and so anxiously wanting to know what happens between Edward and Tanya. Let me tell you, patience is a virtue. ;)

I just noticed that I forgot to upload a chapter, and that could probably explain why some of you are soo confused. So go back and read the uploaded, what was supposed to be Chapter 11. Sorry about that!!

I don't know when the next chapter will be done, especially with all the work I have at school, but if you're lucky, you might get it Thanksgiving weekend (for my international readers, the weekend of November 27th).

So leave me some love!!

Mwahhh!!