Hmmm... bet you thought you'd never see this one get picked up again. Neither did I to be honest, my interest in Scrubs has died somewhat since JD became a complete muppet. However, I do kind of want to finish this one. I just started reading it the other day and thought 'ooh... could do with finishing that'. And thank you so much to everyone for the fab reviews. Really not deserved considering how long it has been since the last installment, but I really hope you all re-read the story so we can pick up from where we left off! :)

As Carla stormed out of the staff room, Dr. Cox laughed bitterly. He was heavily intoxicated and when he threw his head back to rest on the couch, the room spun around violently. He groaned loudly as a sickly feeling rose in his chest. Suddenly feeling the extreme urge to vomit, he threw himself unsteadily towards the nearest toilet cubicle, making it with a split second to spare.

He brought up straight alcohol. No food had passed his lips for many hours. He leaned heavily onto the toilet seat, as disgusting as it looked, he didn't care. He just wanted to keep being sick until the nausea passed. Once his body could take no more, he gave a final wretch and dropped his head onto the arm resting across the toilet seat.

His hands were shaking, his breathing was unsteady and shallow and his legs felt like the last drop of blood had been drained from them. Taking a few unsure gasps of air, Perry reached up to flush the toilet. That was when he spotted the red ring that marred his wrist. His only physical memory of what had happened in recent days. He stared at it long and hard as memories crashed into his mind, JD being beaten, JD being molested against his will, JD's lips pressing against his own, JD being dragged into that bedroom, JD, JD, JD!

Cox screamed in anger, punching the cubicle walls over and over and pulling off the toilet seat in a child like temper tantrum. Finding no comfort in hitting inanimate objects, he took to hitting himself in the head, over and over until he finally broke down into desperate sobs. Although his wife was always in his thoughts, these tears weren't for her. He had already cried a river and drank a river of alcohol in her memory. These tears were from a more painful place. A place he never wanted to go to, a place that he had tried to protect with the illusion of blame over Jordan's death. Hitting JD was his way of protecting himself from having to accept that he cared about the kid, his way of distancing himself from the whole thing. Something he had a lifetime's worth of experience in. But he just couldn't distance himself from this.

Everything was different, JD was most certainly going to be different. And whilst he pretended he didn't care, that thought, deep down, terrified him. And accepting that meant that he would have to put someone else first and upset the balance of having JD merely as a hollow figure for him to pick on. He would have to treat JD as he now saw him, as a whole person, one with feelings, emotions, a past, he would have to consider his thoughts and take care of him. But most of all, JD had shown him up for what he really was... A coward.

Cox had practically drowned himself in self-sympathy over the years because of a couple of difficult years in childhood, finding out someone as sunny as JD had held his secret back for so many years without even a hint of resentment or self-pity made him feel like a fraud.

Suddenly feeling extreme regret over punching JD, Dr. Cox pushed his face into his hands and groaned, frustrated.

Why do you do this to people, Perry? Why?

He rubbed his face, feeling absolutely rotten. His hands were still shaking from a combination of overwhelming emotion and intoxication.

Suddenly, he heard someone's shoes scuff the floor. He tried to push the door to, but his leg was in the way. Quickly shuffling about, he tried to remain unseen, but to no avail. Carla had come back.

Furiously, Carla marched up to the cubicle, ready to give Dr. Cox the reprimanding of a lifetime, but when she saw him slumped on the floor next to the toilet, tear tracks running down his face, all the anger melted away.

"Oh Perry." She said gently, "come here sweetie." She reached her hand into the cubicle grabbing onto Cox's. He didn't fight with her, he merely did as she asked. She led him into the staff room and sat him back down on the couch.

She sat next to him in silence, just waiting for him to say something – anything. She didn't have to wait long. Dr. Cox suddenly broke down again, hiding his face with his hands, his voice was muffled.

"I don't know what to do, Carla! I just don't know what to do!"

Carla was slightly taken aback at his outburst, but composing herself, she moved closer to Perry and put her arm around him.

"I know, sweetie. It sucks."

She sat with him until he stopped crying, after a short while he sat back and rested his head on her shoulder. Carla relaxed into the position. They sat in silence for many minutes.

"Why did you do it?" Carla finally broke the silence, she just stayed staring straight ahead, not disturbing their position.

"Do what?" He replied, his voice flat.

"Hit him." Carla said plainly.

Taking a deep breath in and out, Cox finally raised his head.

"Because I am a horrible, horrible person, Carla."

"No, you're not." She intervened. "You just make the wrong decisions sometimes."

"All the time." He retorted.

"Okay, most of the time." She conceded. "But that doesn't make you a horrible person. You are just..."

"Scared." He finished, flatly. He turned to her, his eyes glistening with tears, "I'm scared Carla."

Nothing needed to be discussed, they both knew who he was scared for and why. Tears started welling up in Carla's eyes and she turned to face her oldest friend.

"Me too... She said softly, "me too."

Perry put his arm around her and gently pulled her into him.

JD lay in the bed, staring at the door. His eyes were empty, he barely had the energy to keep breathing, never mind express any kind of emotion. He was getting more and more tired and his eyes kept flickering shut and he instinctively kept wrenching them open again.

No,muststayawake.Carla's earlier words kept swimming around in his head 'He got away'. What if I wake up and he's here? What if I wake up and all of this is a dream? What if I'm really just still in my bedroom? - At least Jordan would be alive – What if he comes back to finish the job?

JD's breathing quickened and he was soon hyperventilating. His chest ached painfully where his ribs had been savagely cracked. Reaching out for something to help him, anything, he accidentally knocked the remote control to his bed onto the floor.

The next second, a figure pushed open the door and stood in the doorway surrounded by the faint light of the corridors. JD couldn't focus on them, the shadows appearance only made his hyperventilation worse. Suddenly the figure spoke.

"Okay sport, calm down." Dr Kelso moved towards JD and put a soothing hand on his back. "You're okay, you're safe here." He said a gently and tactfully as he possibly could.

It took a good few minutes but following Kelso's lead, JD slowed his breathing down to a normal rate. He was sweating profusely by the time they had finished.

JD looked at Kelso with haunted eyes, they made him flinch. He didn't know the kid all that well, but he knew him well enough to know that they weren't his eyes.

"Okay sport, lie back now." He pushed JD backwards with a firm hand on his shoulder, JD followed his guidance, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, he fought against Kelso's arm.

"No! No, just... get off me!" He said in a complete panic. "Don't touch me."

Kelso held up both his hands.

"Okay, Dr. Dorian, okay. Just... just lie down."

JD shook his head free of ridiculous thoughts of being held down against his will, this was his boss.He mumbled an uncomfortable apology.

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Don't be." Kelso said, matter of factly.

Kelso walked across the room and grabbed a chair, he pulled it up to the bedside. JD looked at him, confused.

"I'm sorry, but, erm... is there something you want?" He asked, sheepishly.

Kelso looked him straight in the eye.

"Nope. Just sleep. I have work to do." He pulled out a pile of files from a bag JD hadn't even realised he had with him.

He stared at Kelso for a few seconds, watching him pull out his pen and starting working.

"But sir..." JD started, but was cut off by Kelso shushing him. His eyebrows raised in realisation.

Kelso was there to let him sleep.