Pyro's Massive Invasion of Privacy
Pyro's Massive Invasion of Privacy
By The Bubbles
Summary- Left to his own devices, Pyro sneaks into everyone's rooms and reads their diaries.
Disclaimer- Pyro, in all his awesomeness, is the property of Stan Lee, whose shoes I am not worthy to tie the laces of. I'm not worthy!
A/N- And now, we get to see what the boys thought of the story you just read. Like any interlude, it is 'off-camera' and in real time, which means it may make reference to stuff that hasn't happened yet. Yeah. I'm weird like that. Also, it doesn't have to be read, but I love the Interludes and put them up anyway.
Oh yeah, and XFT is a fairy tale based Fanfic/comic thing I did years ago. The full title is Mutant Manor Story Time, but it is fondly referred to as XFT. I'll just let you ponder that for a while.
(o.o.o)
Interlude- It's Over, Now Go Away
(o.o.o)
Nighttime. The clock on the mantle was flashing midnight. Outside, the moon shone through the window, illuminating the figure of a person walking through the corridors of the Institute.
The person was female, wearing a yellow vest over a pair of jeans and a black ninja suit. She was sporting a long curling monkey tail, topped with a tail-ring that sat in midair a few inches below the tip. Her brown hair was pulled into pigtails, and her feet were bare, exposing a pair of semi-opposable big toes. Her name was Snap, and she was trying to do her job, for once.
It made Snap quite sad that she had to sneak around to do her job. Her job was much easier when the natives of a 'verse are not afraid of her.
Of course, they wouldn't be afraid of her if she didn't pull mallets and axes and pointy sticks bigger than her out of her pockets and menace them with it when they defied her boss's wishes… or when they annoyed her… or when she was bored.
Currently, Snap had been charged with the task of getting the cast's response to the story. Bubbles had practically shoved her through the portal to Evoverse while saying something about getting work done without a stupid monkey looming over her shoulder.
Snap was currently searching out the mutant known as Sam Guthrie, AKA Cannonball. As the only person in the Institute not afraid of her (and one of the few in the 'verse), Sam would be sure to help her.
"Saaaaa-aaaaaam!" So much for silence. Snap had finally found the door to Sam's room and was banging on it for him to come out. "Sam, I neeeed you!"
"If Ah had a dolla' fo every time Ah heard that one…" mumbled a muffled voice on the other side of the door. It swung open, revealing Sam in only his boxers. Snap practically dehydrated from the loss of water as she drooled. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"
"What's with all the racket?" a very gruff voice said behind them, made all the gruffer by the fact that the person using it had been woken from a very good dream. Now, I won't give you details, but let's just say that it involves a certain wind-rider and leave it at that, hmmm? "Do you have any idea what time it is?"
Logan opened half-lidded his eyes all the way when he smelled a smell that he hadn't smelled since the XFT days several years ago. He began to back away, muttering incoherently as he did.
"It can't be you… never mind… I don't wanna know…" And thus, with a shudder, he disappeared back into his room.
They watched him with mild interest.
"Ah think he's still reeling from that whole Rumplestiltskin situation."
"But that was Bubbles!" Snap squealed defensively. "I had nothing to do with who got cast to what part! Well, except for the Hansel and Gretel episode… but I wasn't even there when she cast that episode!"
"Ya did force 'im inta tha costume though. His ego's never quite recovered."
"He'll get over it, the big baby."
"Not if you keep callin' 'im that. Anyway, what d' ya need me for? And couldn' it wait till mornin'?"
"No! It can't!"
She wrapped her tail around his waist and with a snap of her fingers, they disappeared with a 'woff.'
They reappeared in a largely metal room. Sam leant over woozily.
"Aw, man, Ah hate that sensation. It's like getting sucked up into a jiffy lube or something. Where are we?"
"We're at the Acolyte's base."
"And why do you need me?"
"Ehh…" Snap gave a sidelong glance at the still mostly naked mutant. She snapped her fingers and a set of clothes appeared in front of him. "Put those on before I get too distracted from my job."
He took the clothes and complied with her request, partly from embarrassment, but also partly because he was cold. (Yeah, Mags finally sprung for an air conditioner.) Once he was dressed, he repeated his question, and Snap shrugged.
"I have a job to do and I thought you might want to be my assistant."
Someone saying, "Oh dear God, it's you!" interrupted whatever reply he was about to make. Snap turned around. It was Sabretooth. His was bristling and staring wide-eyed at her like Toad looks at soap.
And then he ran. He turned around and ran outside and clambered up a tree, where he perched for quite some time after that, hissing and clawing at anything that went by.
Now, there are only two things in the world that can make Sabretooth react in such a way. One is when Pyro turns the volume on the TV all the way up and then turns on Teletubbies.
"Aww…" Snap's tail drooped sadly. "He doesn't like me."
And the other is Snap.
"Hey hey, Snappy's here!" Pyro called. He and Gambit were coming in from a late night on the town and had spotted Sabretooth in the tree.
Pyro, as Bubbles' favorite character, automatically liked all of her muses. Besides, anyone who can reduce Sabretooth, Wolverine, Juggernaut, and Magneto to a quivering mass of cowering babies with her presence alone has earned his respect. He grabbed her hands and swung her around happily.
"What are ya doin' here, Snappy?"
"I need to get your reactions on the story," she explained, suddenly all business. "I presume you've all finished reading it?"
"Oh yeah, I loved it!"
"Hold that thought, Pyro." Snap snapped her fingers and a notebook and pen appeared in mid-air in front of Sam. "Here, write this stuff down."
"Maybe Wolverine an' Sabretooth 'ave got the raht ahdea," Sam muttered as Pyro began talking.
"I just loved it! All the stuff and the things and the other stuff! I was all like, "Waaaah!" and they were all like, "Eeeeeeee!" and Sab's was all like, "Grrrrrr!" and Jason was all like, "Meh."
Sam sighed as he transcribed the speech. "Hey, is 'Eeeeeeee' spelled with seven e's or eight?"
"Eight, duh. Hey Gambit, what'd you think?"
Gambit shrugged. "Lot's o' scenes wit' mah Chere, but too many wit' Gambit getting' hurt. All in all, a nice little story that let Pyro bother someone else for a little while."
"You guys are horrible," Sam said as he finished scribbling that down. "Pyro's not that bad to have around." He turned to Snap, only to find her no longer beside him.
While Gambit was talking, Snap had run over to Colossus and climbed up to his shoulders, where she was now perched like an oversized monkey. Her tail curled loosely around to his other shoulder.
"Boss told me to tell you she's sorry about not giving you a bigger part. She tried, but it just wouldn't come out cause you're so nice. Like a poodle! Heh. Inside joke." She jumped off his shoulder and ran to Mastermind's room. She straightened up and began pounding on the door. "Jason! Jason, come out here! Jaaaaa-son!"
"No! I don't want to and you can't make me! I want naught to do with you, you horrible little monkey person!"
"Why you… Jerk!"
She kicked the door, only to have it hurt her toe. She jumped around, clutching it painfully, and shouted like a cross between a chimpanzee and a howler monkey. There was the sound of running, and Jason threw the door open.
"You leave my mother out of this," he said angrily. Snap smirked.
"Whoah, that's amazin'!" Sam said in awe. "I thought you two just looked like monkeys, I didn't know you could talk like 'em too!"
Mastermind glared at him, and he went back to writing.
"Well since you're out here…" Snap weedled. He sighed.
"Fine. I wasn't happy with your boss's portrayal of me."
"Well if you had more of a personality. And uh, confidentially speaking," she gestured for him to lean down and whispered in his ear. His mouth stretched into a broad grin.
"Really?"
"Mm-hmm. All you."
"I can live with that." He went back into his room.
"What'd ya tell him?" Sam asked.
Snap winked. "I said, confidential. Now, all that's left is Sabretooth."
He followed he out to the yard, where Sabretooth was still in the tree. "What about Magneto?"
"What about him? Oh, I see. Nope, I'm not allowed within a hundred feet of him since he took out that restraining order." They had come to the base of the tree. "Sabretooth, come out of that tree so I can talk to you!"
"No!"
"Look, either you came down or I'm coming up! Hey! Now there was no call for that! Ow! Hey! Quit throwing squirrels at me!" She ducked, and the poor thing landed right on Sam's face. "That's it, if you ain't down in three seconds, you're gonna regret it!"
He glared, and then realized that she wasn't bluffing. He limbed down from the tree.
"There, now was that so hard? Look, I only wanted to know what you thought of the story."
He snorted. "I thought there were too many inconsistencies. For one, Colossus met Kitty before, and they helped each other a lot in that one episode. For another, Magneto had Wanda erase the memories of the asylum from Wanda's mind. For another, I thought they were going to leave me behind in the fourth chapter, but in the fifth one I left with them. Also in those chapters, in one Wanda said that she was there to return a book, but in the next she went there with us."
Snap frowned. "Trust Sabretooth to find the flaws. Ok. Some time between the end of the series and now, Wanda got her memories back. As to the chapter four and five thing, Wanda lied to her dad and the others decided to bring you along anyway. To the Kitty and Colossus thing, Bubbles forgot about that episode."
"'Forgot… that… episode." Sam finished writing down the reply and handed the notepad to Snap. "Can Ah go home now? Ah've got this DR session in just a few hours an' I need sleep or Logan'll kill me."
"Okay. I'll send you home now. Bye, Love!" She snapped her fingers and Sam disappeared. "As for the rest of you…" She looked around. They had all fled. "Oh. Guess I'll be going home now then."
(o.o.o)
Bubbles typed the sentence, took a bite of her peanut-butter-and-potato-chip sandwich, frowned, erased the sentence, and retyped it with different wording. This also seemed to disappoint her. She hit the backspace key a little too hard in her frustration.
Woff
"Sounds like you need me." Snap looked over the writer's shoulder and inspected the sentence her boss was working on.
"Not you, specifically," Bubbles corrected. "But that is the last time I send all three of my muses away at the same time."
"All of us? Where are the other two?"
"The Doc is off psychoanalyzing the Brotherhood boys and Ace is in the Whoniverse trying to convince Jack to give her his pterodactyl."
Snap looked startled. "Did you tell her to do that?"
"What? No! That's her project." She pointed to the notepad in Snap's hands. "Is that the report?"
"Yup. All the Acolytes. Except for Magneto. You know. The restraining order."
Bubbles chose to employ her selective hearing ability at this. Several years ago, at the end of XFT's long reign, Magneto had tried to put out a restraining order on Snap. Bubbles had fought this, and it had come close to going to the courts, when Magneto threatened to have her and her ilk banned from Evoverse. Bubbles had pointed out that as a fictional character and adversary to boot, he didn't have that power. He had retorted that he would see it done if he had to go all the way to Stan Lee Himself. At the threat of getting on her hero's bad side, Bubbles had written up and signed the order herself.
"Hmm…" Bubbles read through the report. "So who'd you get to be your helper monkey?"
Snap bristled indignantly at the use of the phrase helper monkey but otherwise ignored it. "I got Sam to help me. Isn't he just the cutest? He wrote everything down just as it was said. He's such a doll, right?"
Bubbles shook her head as Snap rambled on. At least she wasn't overobsessing about Kurt at the moment.
(o.o.o)
And there's the Interlude! Heh, just a bit of randomossity for ya.