Dear Author,
You have made my girlfriend very upset with you. I am not with Draco Malfoy. He is a prick, and I don't know what Harry sees in him. Seriously? I would never be with the ferret. He's blond and creepy, and he bites. A lot. How do you think he won all our fights? He bit me. Draco bit me. And it hurts. It still hurts.
Ron Weasley
P.S. !
P.P.S. Double ew.