Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I simply edit the script and make subtle changes when no one is looking. Call it whatever you like, I call it awesomeness.

The zeppelin came after 8 hours. Jackie immediately ran on board and was greeted by her Yorkshire terrier, who she had renamed Roxy, because Rose had insisted and so as not to cause confusion between her daughter and the dog. The Doctor did his best to hide the laughter when he saw the terrier, but failed miserably and a sort of snorting sound escaped him. Rose simply rolled her eyes.

Jackie immediately went to her room to rest, and Mickey went into the kitchen, because killing Daleks and saving every single universe in existence had made him slightly hungry. Rose simply went to her room on the zeppelin, and dragged the Doctor with her. Together they lay down on the bed, facing each other. It was time to talk.

"What was it like?" Rose asked quietly. "After Canary Warf?"

The Doctor took a deep breath. Obviously they needed to talk about this, but right now he just wanted to savour the feeling of having Rose at his side again. He looked into her deep brown eyes and sighed. "Torture" he whispered after a while. "When you fell…I was ready to throw myself in after you. And then, I felt you. On the other side of the wall. And I wanted so very badly to smash the wall and make my way to you."

Rose nodded in understanding. "So did I. And I felt you as well. It was so hard, going to work for Torchwood after. I walked past that wall every day, and every day I cried."

The Doctor gently stroked her cheek with his thumb, tracing circles. "I just…shut down for a few days. Completely. Wouldn't drink, eat, sleep, nothing. And then I worked on a way to get to you. I tried everything, but I couldn't. And after I got the message through, I wanted to shut down again. But Donna didn't let me." He smiled slightly at the memory.

Rose looked surprised for a second. "Was that the thing with the Racnoss?" she asked.

The Doctor stared. "How do you know about that?"

"Donna turned left." Rose said. "She got trapped in that universe, and she wasn't there to stop you with the Racnoss." Rose took a deep breath. "You died." She said shakily. "The dimension cannon worked and I appeared just as they were taking your body away."

The Doctor was shocked. But then it made sense. If Donna hadn't stopped him, he would probably have let himself drown with the Racnoss. "I'm sorry Rose" he managed to say.

Rose shook her head. "Anyway, go on".

"Well, Donna appeared in her wedding dress in the TARDIS. And yeah, she saved me from the Racnoss. I asked her to travel with me after that. I was just so lonely. And I wasn't really thinking when I said it. But she refused, because I scared her. But she told me to find someone."

"And you found Martha" Rose said.

The Doctor smiled. "Yes. She was brilliant. But she wasn't you. But she did save my life by giving me CPR. So I promised her one trip. But I made it very clear she wasn't replacing you."

Rose gasped. "You talked about me then?"

"Of course" the Doctor said softly. I couldn't stand not talking about you."

Rose smiled.

"Martha fell in love with me" the Doctor admitted. "I didn't realise, I suppose I just kept comparing her to you. I stopped saying one more trip after a while, but I put her through so much, that she chose to leave. And I met Donna again after that. I needed her I suppose. Someone to cheer me up, keep me in line. She was like the sister I've always wanted."

Rose grinned. She had liked Donna a lot too.

"But whether I coped?" the Doctor said. "No. Barely. There were so many times when I almost gave up. I would see your smile everywhere, hear your laugh, and imagine you in any given situation. But you were never there. "

Rose listened, heartbroken. She felt a tear making its way down her cheek; the Doctor had suffered just as much a she had.

The Doctor saw the tear making its way down Rose's face and wiped it away with his thumb. "What about you?" he asked softly. Rose took a deep breath.

"As bad as you" she said after a while. "I was a mess for the first few days, juts sat around and cried. I had to clean up after a few days, because Pete wanted to announce he had another daughter. And then I was covered by media all the time. It was such a nuisance.

I started working at Torchwood after a few weeks, because I had to do something, anything. And I hoped that working at Torchwood I could get back to you somehow. Then of course we went to Norway. I needed a few days to recover from that, and then I went back to Torchwood."

She looked at the Doctor, needing assurance that he was there. The Doctor extended an arm and pulled her against him, burrowing his face in her neck, breathing her in. He needed her.

After a while Rose withdrew from the hug, but was perfectly content to stay in his arms. "They hated me at Torchwood, at first" she continued. "I decided to keep my emotions and feelings covered up, because if I let them slip I would break down. I took care of a lot alien attacks, but all by myself, Torchwood didn't notice. They just thought I was a spoiled brat that sat in her office all day. I can't blame them obviously, because I never talked to them unless I needed to. Not to mention that I didn't tell them anything about myself either, so they didn't know I was hurting. And they didn't know I had worked with aliens before, so when I came in and got the best job, they took it as offence. Only Mickey and Jake got it.

Anyway, the sycorax attacked. It was the same thing as in our universe. Everything was in chaos. But I knew what was going on and I could translate, and I fixed it. But like you, I would have died, saving the world. But I got respect at Torchwood after that. I got my own team, with some good agents and soldiers. I got to be friends with them and told them about you. But I never smiled and laughed with them properly, and they barely ever called me Rose…always Commander Tyler."

She took a deep breath and looked at the Doctor, gauging his reaction. He was looking down at her, still stroking her cheek, his eyes full of sadness.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I am so, so sorry."

"Doctor it wasn't your fault. I would still much rather have the memories of what we did, than not have you at all". The way Rose spoke was so sincere that the Doctor kissed her, gently at first, but then steadily with more passion. Rose responded, and they lost track of all time for a while, until Rose finally pulled away for breath. They lay there, foreheads on each other, gasping slightly. Rose grinned.

"We should have done this a long time ago".

The Doctor laughed, and kissed her forehead.

"I was wondering" she began tentatively.

"What?" the Doctor asked.

"Whether you want to work with us?" Rose replied, almost scared of what the answer would be.

The Doctor looked slightly sceptical.

"You don't have to, of course!" Rose said quickly. "But it's changed, I swear it has. It's nothing like Yvonne Hartman's Torchwood, honestly. And you're an expert."

The Doctor considered this. Rose bit her lip. "Okay" the Doctor agreed suddenly, sounding quite cheerful. "I suppose I could help, being the genius and everything."

Rose laughed. "Ego hasn't changed" she mumbled into his chest.

"Oi!" The Doctor cried. "Rose Tyler, that was rude! That must be where I get it from!"

"Cheeky" Rose said against his lips. The Doctor simply smiled.

"But Doctor" Rose said, pulling away. She needed to tell him.

"I'm different at Torchwood."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, not getting it.

"Like I was telling you before, I changed. If the people who work with me could see me now, they would probably faint from shock. I'm not carefree, and I don't laugh. I'm stern, and business like and cold."

"That's not you" the Doctor whispered gently.

Rose nodded. "I know. All that pain, I used it as a mask….or like a shield, I suppose. But, I think, now that you'll be here, I won't be like that anymore."

The Doctor pulled Rose closer to him. "You're perfect exactly the way you are right now" he whispered to her. Then he paused. "Well", he said, "I guess you're still very jeopardy friendly…and still have that very annoying tendency to wander off" he screwed up his nose in mock anger "but other than that you're perfect".

"I'll see that as a compliment" Rose laughed, and snuggled against him, yawning.

"You're tired" the Doctor said. "You should sleep".

Rose nodded, but refused to close her eyes. "I'm scared you'll disappear" she admitted. "I'll close my eyes, and realise this is all a dream".

"I'm not going anywhere" The Doctor whispered soothingly. "Sleep Rose. You're exhausted. Pink and yellow humans need their rest."

"And superior and know- it -all Time Lords don't?" Rose retorted, smiling.

"Not as much"

"Right."

The Doctor smiled. He had missed the banter. He kissed her head, and pulled her to his chest as Rose closed her eyes.