Chapter 6

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, so there's a couple things I'd like to rant about here, and not all of them have to do with the reviewer I'm addressing, but it's simpler to keep everything in one big explosion of rantage.

Since you replied anonymously, Tendershipper, I have to reply to your review here.

First off, I felt your comment was a little rude. Not so much that I'm all offended or anything, but still. I'd like to make it perfectly clear that I do not take orders from reviewers. And Ryou is certainly *not* about to become a background character. I'm sorry Puzzleshipping isn't your ship (though it was marked in the summary that this would be YYxY), but please don't complain about it to me. I listed Ryou and Yami as the main characters for a reason, and main characters they will stay. Have a little faith in me guys, yeah?

That isn't to say I will not take advise from reviewers. But this story is a little different for me. It's already completely written, and it's one of the few stories I have written just for me, because I wanted to see how things turned out. It's one of the reasons I don't really care that this story isn't nearly as popular as my other chapter fics (not on this account).

So yeah, sorry if I come off as a bit of a bitch, had a rough day today. And also, this probably wasn't the best chapter to try and prove my faithfulness to Ryou o.O It originally did have a lot of Ryou POVs at the end, but it got way too long so I split it in half. So while this chapter has all Yami POV, next chapter has all Ryou POV. Get it?

Onto the story!

Warnings: This chapter contains mentions of sexual abuse and muchos Yugi!angst. A little squeemish? Sorry :(

...i've come undone...

For the third time that conversation, Bakura's sneering face flashed to Yugi's, glimmered for a moment, and then held. Yami felt himself breathe a quiet sigh of relief, limbs trembling as the anger that was shooting through them left him all at once. It was always hard to be angry around his aibou, even if it was on his behalf.

"Bakura-kun?

Yami gazed at Yugi and forced a smile. "Something wrong, Yugi-kun?"

"I-I don't know." Yugi was frowning at the ground, fists tightly clenched to his sides. "I thought, for a second… But… you…" He paused briefly, the let out a gentle huff. "Never mind," he finished, a sad smile quirking his lips. "I must have confused you with someone else."

Yami's stomach churned at the thought of being mistaken for the tomb-robber. "No," the spirit said, though what he was disagreeing to, he wasn't sure. "No, you… listen, ai- Yugi, can we talk? I mean," Yami licked his lips, "you didn't mistake me, I…" He blew frustrated air through his teeth and ran a hand through Ryou's hair.

"…What's wrong?" Yugi asked, sounding concerned. Yami turned to look at him with a wry smile.

"I can't tell you," he answered, after a beat. "At least, not all of it. I want to, so bad, but… I… I don't cheat."

"What?"

"Listen," Yami continued, ignoring him. "Sometimes, since you've solved the puzzle, you feel almost as if there's another you inside you, right? Only he's not… he's nothing like you. He doesn't even look like you." Yami knew he was throwing a shot in the dark, here. Bakura had never materialized for Ryou, so why would he for Yugi? But Yugi had recognized him as Bakura, so… "In fact, he looks like me. Am I right?"

Yugi had turned paler than Yami had ever seen anyone, even Ryou. His eyes were wide and his lips were shaking. "…How do you know all this?" he asked finally, voice nearly a whisper.

Yami's hands balled into fists. "Because I'm the same way. Well, technically, Ryou's the same way, but…" He trailed off as Yugi's eyes seemed to well with tears. "Aibou?"

"P-please," Yugi whispered. "Please, just stop talking. I- if he took you away too, I don't know…" The small boy's face scrunched up in an effort to hold back the tears.

Yami parted his lips, at a loss for what to say. Again, he felt that inane urge to comfort, to hold his aibou tight to him until the pain went away. But, he thought as aching anger welled in his throat, he seriously doubted Yugi would take comfort from someone who looked like the man who may or may not have been hurting him for years.

He took a breath, let it out. Just what had Bakura done to Yugi to make him this scared? He'd known Yugi probably wouldn't be the same as he was when he left him, but this… this was unacceptable. Gripping the ring tightly with renewed determination, Yami leaned forward and asked, "What's wrong?"

A stupid, obvious question, but it seemed to reach Yugi. Raising a hand to swipe at his tears, the boy swallowed harshly and looked up at Yami. "H-he… the spirit of the puzzle, Bakura… you're the first person who's been nice to me for so long, and I don't even know you." Yugi drew a shuddering breath. "I can't… I can't say anything more. He'll take you away if I do. Like he did to all the others…"

"What others?" Yami pressed, eyes narrowing dangerously. Yugi hiccupped, then continued.

"Anzu, and, and Mom… anyone who I like, or try to be friends with. Or who tries to be friends with me," he added, voice clouded with pain. "And he'll take you away, too, I know it. If he finds out that there's someone like me, he'll-" Yugi didn't finish, abruptly choking and burying his face in his hands. Yami wondered how long it had been since his aibou had fully been in control of his own body.

He waited for a moment, then set a gentle hand on Yugi's shoulder, struggling not to feel hurt when the small boy flinched and looked away. "…What if I told you I know he won't?" he asked quietly. Yugi jerked his head and stared up at him with wide eyes, the pain seeming to fade to a wary caution. "I've spoken with your spirit," Yami revealed. "We've come to a little arrangement… Yugi? Aibou!"

Yugi had wrested himself from Yami's touch and was pounding at the ground with a strangled grunt. "No!" he shouted desperately. "You… he can't! He's lying, I…"

"Yugi! Yugi!" Yami grabbed the boy's arms and held tight, finding himself staring into wild violet eyes. This wasn't his aibou, he realized with a jolt, suddenly nervous. It wasn't Bakura, either. This was someone closer to Ryou- the one he'd known in the real universe, not his current host. And yet subtly different.

Instead of the whimpering of a small child, there was a caged animal. Instead of anti-socialism, there were soft-spoken words and hesitant smiles. Instead of tears for what he no longer had, there were tears for those he had lost.

It was all so much worse than he'd hoped, and better than he'd expected. No longer caring what his aibou thought of him, Yami drew the small boy to himself and wrapped his arms around him, as close as he could physically get to their former state. "It's okay," he whispered, "It's okay."

There were a lot of other things he said, things he didn't remember, but eventually Yugi's wracking sobs quieted to the occasional cough. After a few more minutes, Yami, resisting the urge to press a kiss to the wild hair, murmured, "Now, what was that all about?"

Yugi sniffed, drawing back slightly to Yami's dismay. "Nothing. I mean, it's just that…Earlier today, when I was getting ready for school, Bakura decided to explain why he was letting me eat lunch with you. He… he said he had a deal to make with the devil, or something like that. I didn't get it then, but I do now. He was talking to your spirit, wasn't he?"

Yami blinked, surprised, then nodded in understanding. Yugi hadn't understood when he had tried to explain, then. "Actually, Yugi, I…" he trailed off as a thought occurred to him. To Yugi, spirits were evil. What would he say if he learned that Yami himself was one, and Ryou was the host? He immediately snapped his mouth shut.

He didn't like keeping secrets from his aibou, but right now he doubted would be the greatest time to lay that one down. Later, then. He sighed. "Actually, my spirit isn't evil," he said instead. "He's a good spirit, and he only wants to help you. If you let him," he added ruefully.

But Yugi was shaking his head. "If he was making a deal with Bakura, he can't be good," he said, voice still unsteady but the tone firm. "Bakura isn't stupid enough to make a deal with someone who has a good heart. They can't be manipulated as easily."

Oh, if only you knew. Yami forced a smile. "Would it help if I told you what the deal was?"

Yugi frowned, then nodded slowly. Yami caught a painful glimpse of the Yugi he had known in the real universe. He cleared his throat. "The deal was that I… that you could keep control of your body for as long as you wanted, as long as he got an hour alone with Ryou. Er, me." Dammit.

"But he can listen in on conversations any time he wants to without me knowing," said Yugi, looking down at his sneakers. "If I say anything that he doesn't want you to hear, then he'll take over, and… and… I'll have a new puzzle piece in my box." The last sentence, Yugi's voice had dropped to a murmur, so quiet Yami almost couldn't catch it.

Yami struggled not to give in to the impulse to ram his hand against the tree. Ryou wouldn't be too impressed if he did that. Again, he wondered just what Bakura had been doing to Yugi all these years. "He promised he wouldn't," he assured his aibou, even as the back of his mind screamed, You trust the words of a thief?

It took him a moment to realize that the thought wasn't his own. /…Ryou?/ he called hesitantly. Skeptical indifference came back through the link.

/How do you know he won't cheat?/ Ryou asked, materializing beside Yami with his arms crossed over his chest. /From what you've said, he doesn't exactly strike me as a man who keeps his word./

/He's not,/ Yami sighed. /But he's like me. He has to abide by the rules of the game, especially if they're his own rules./

/But he does lie./

Yami blinked, then frowned. Where had that come from? /What do you mean?/ he asked slowly.

/You lie, and you're supposed to be the good guy. It's not that big of a leap to assume he does, too./

/I don't lie, I just sort of… hide the truth,/ Yami shot back.

/You just told Yugi you're the omote in this relationship./

/No,/ Yami argued. /I'm just pretending I am so I can give spirits a good name./

/Liar,/ Ryou smirked, then faded back into the ring.

The brief conversation had left Yami with a sense of unease. He wasn't lying, true, but hiding the truth was never a good thing, in his opinion. But it wasn't his little mix-up with Yugi that was worrying him.

He had never explicitly told Ryou that the boy was unrelated to the tomb-robber, but neither had he given the full truth about their relationship. It wasn't lying. However, he wasn't stupid enough to think he'd get away with never telling Ryou the truth. He'd have to breech the subject sooner or later.

He sighed and shook his head, clearing his thoughts. In the world outside his head, Yugi was looking at him with a concerned expression. "Bakura-kun?"

"I'd… I'd rather you didn't call me that," Yami said at last. "You said the spirit in your head is called Bakura, right?"

Yugi nodded.

"Then how about you call me Ryou? I prefer it, honestly," he added, expecting Ryou's predictable snort. None was forthcoming. Shrugging, he looked down at Yugi. "What do you say?"

"Ryou-kun sounds fine to me," Yugi said with a shy smile.

"Not just 'Ryou'?" Yami wondered wistfully. Yugi looked a little uncertain, which was basically confirming that he was absolutely terrified of referring to anyone sans honorific. That was normal, though. The only person Yugi had called by just their given name in the normal universe was Anzu, and that was because they'd known each other forever.

Anzu. Yugi had said she'd 'gone away' like the others. But what did that mean, exactly? And how had that affected his aibou?

He sighed. He'd find out sooner or later, he supposed. "It's all right," he assured Yugi. "If you don't want to call me that, it's fine."

Yugi nodded again, slowly relaxing under the tree. He was quiet for a moment, then, all too soon, his eyes wandered to his watch. "Crap!" he exclaimed. "I'm late!" He began to back away, then looked at Yami, and the spirit felt his heart go warm at the smile he found on the boy's face. "I'll… I'll see you later then! Um," Yugi stared at his hands. "Thank you. You know, for convincing him to give my body back. It… it really means a lot."

Yami just barely managed to keep the smile long enough until Yugi disappeared into the school. Then his fist met the side of the tree in a less-than-friendly way.

Sorry, Ryou, he lamented shamelessly.

"…Baku- er, Ryou-kun?"

Yami's neck snapped up and around, instantly smiling at the sight of his aibou, books spilling out of his hands and bag. Of course, the smile faded as he realized he had been caught in the act, red-handed as they said. He glanced quickly around the library, closing his laptop as if he'd been here for awhile, and was getting up to leave, not as if he had followed Yugi here and sat down just a moment ago.

"Er, uh, Yugi-kun." His hand went up automatically to rub the hair on the back of Ryou's neck, and he scowled inwardly. Stupid unmanly habit. Then he cringed. "Um, I…"

"…Have you been following me?"

"Uh, no?" The words were just a touch too hopeful. He cursed at himself. Where had the poker face of his gaming days disappeared to? A lie, a lie. Think of a lie.

Then he thought of something, and he didn't have to lie at all.

"I'm just a little concerned," he admitted, which was the truth. "What with Bakura and all…"

Yugi smiled at him, and Yami felt himself get a little light-headed. "That's fine, Ryou-kun. I'm just going to Game Shop now, anyway." A pause. "Would you like to come?"

Yami blinked. Then he stared. Then he let out a stupid little laugh as his heart began to race with joy. The Game Shop? Would he ever! His mind was already reeling with thoughts of Grandpa, and the cards, and the general feel of home that Yugi's place always gave him. He hadn't seen the place in so long…

"Uh, if it wouldn't be too much trouble," he managed finally. "I mean, a Game Shop? That would be great! I love games."

His head began to spin again when Yugi's entire face lit up. "R-really?" he exclaimed. "Me too! But, nobody else really…"

"I understand," Yami said, smiling. "There aren't that many true gamers in the world, are there?"

Yugi nodded enthusiastically. "Mm! Ji-chan says that to be a true duellist, you have to believe in your game. Otherwise, it's just meaningless."

Yami's heart twinged in painful recognition of the familiar words, then swelled as he remembered he would finally get to see the old man today. "Your grandfather sounds like a wise man," he told Yugi.

"Mm! He is! But, you know," Yugi added conspiringly, "He's a little perverted, too. He likes to look at… um, well," his voice dropped to whisper, eyes darting around cautiously, "dirty videos."

Yami laughed out loud. That sounded like Grandpa, all right. "Let me guess," he said. "He likes to 'borrow' yours, as well?"

Yugi turned bright pink. "I- n-no! I mean… well." He swallowed, staring down at his sneakers as the blush crept its way up his neck. "Maybe…"

Yami chuckled, his hand falling to rest on Yugi's shoulder. "No worries, Yugi-kun. I sometimes find myself in a very similar situation. My-" tutor "-own grandfather sounds much the same."

Then a thought occurred to him, a dark one, one that made his blood boil. "Yugi-kun, how old were you when you solved the puzzle?"

Yugi's eyes did not stray from his feet. "I was, um, 12."

"Twelve?" It was possible, but unlikely. Yami knew for a fact that Yugi's hormones had not kicked in until he was at least 15, a cause of great embarrassment to his little aibou. But Yugi apparently had 'dirty videos', so… "Did Bakura take over right away, then?"

Yugi's shoes were apparently very fascinating. He didn't respond.

Yami suppressed a sigh. "Yugi, please, this is important. I need to know if that bastard tomb-robber ever hurt you the way I think he did."

There was an abrupt change in the air around Yugi, and his wild-haired head shot up, suddenly defiant. "You don't need to protect me," he said, his eyes hard in a way Yami had seen only when duelling. "Whatever happened, happened. What matters is that I'm okay now."

Yami nodded slowly, struggling to keep his rage at a manageable level. So he was right, then. That bastard had-

Yugi's expression softened abruptly. "…That doesn't mean I don't appreciate it," he continued in a gentler voice. "You saved me. But now that I'm safe, my problems are my own." He exhaled wearily when Yami's harsh expression remained stubbornly in place. "Listen," Yugi said, after a breath. "I've spent the last 4 years basically trapped inside my own mind, forced to have someone else deal with everything that was going on around me. And now… now I just want to face something alone, you know?" He smiled weakly. "Do you understand?"

Yami's lips twisted, and then he nodded again, deliberately. He understood. It hurt him more than anything, but he understood. His little aibou didn't want him. No, more than that, he didn't need him. And Yami knew that he would never, ever forgive Bakura for that.

"…Does this Game Shop of yours have anything to eat?" he asked.

"…It first started when I was 13."

Yami looked up from his prowl around Yugi's room, where he had been searching for anything he had possibly forgotten about the place (there was nothing, of course). He was instantly concerned at the tone of Yugi's voice. "What started?" he asked cautiously.

Yugi swallowed. "When he… I mean, when he first started… hurting me."

Yami immediately began to take deep breaths, forcing his mind calm. Focus. In, out. In, out. Tearing up Yugi's room in a blind rage was probably the last thing his aibou needed right now. "What did he do?" he asked, trying to make his voice gentle, though he was aware he was probably failing miserably.

Yugi's eyes again flicked to his sneakers. Those must be some impressive shoes, Yami thought crazily, already running through potential Dark Games in his mind for when the thief finally revealed himself. He shook his head. No. Listen.

"He, uh… well, he first showed himself to me when I solved the puzzle. After that… I thought it was just a dream. He never came back, and I… I thought I was safe." Yami watched Yugi draw a ragged breath, shuddering slightly in revulsion. "But then… I was thirteen, and, and Joey-kun had given me one of his 'lvideos', probably trying to teach me to be a man again or something, I don't know. I didn't really watch it." There was that blush again. "But after, I took a shower, and, well, you know.

"Anyway, I was just reaching my… uh, my c-climax-" At this Yugi ducked his head and blushed horribly. In any other situation, it would have been devastatingly adorable, but Yami had a sick feeling he knew what was coming next. "And… and he was there. In my mind. And he took over my body for the first time, and grabbed me really hard. And it hurt so bad," Yugi continued, his wide eyes welling with tears, "but he didn't stop there. He kept going, and stopping, and going, and stopping, and I thought I was going to die, it hurt so much, and it went on forever." Yugi was breathing much faster now, and it was all Yami could do to keep himself from either smashing something or holding him tighter than he'd ever held anything before. "And when, finally, it was done, he told me that was my punishment for doing such disgusting things while he was in my head. And I tried to stop, I really did," Yugi swore, shaking so hard Yami was afraid he might break. "But one morning, it- it just wouldn't go away! So when I was taking my shower that morning, he said to me, 'Here, let me take care of that for you.' And every time it happened after, he would do the same thing, over and over…"

Yami became aware that his aibou had stopped talking, and had given way to a terrible weeping, head buried in his small arms. But he couldn't think. He wanted to throw up, or punch something, or do anything to release the anger that was turning his mind red. How… how could anyone do that to anyone, let alone a teenage boy just on the verge of puberty? Yugi couldn't control himself anymore than anyone his age could, Bakura knew that. How… why…

He's trying to hurt you through aibou, the somewhat reasonable voice in the back of his head said, but it was dim beneath the insane rage, so he ignored it. Nobody did that to his aibou and lived.

Yami didn't think coherently again until his arms were wrapped firmly around Yugi. "I'm sorry," he whispered, but for what, he couldn't say out loud. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry the whole reason this ever happened is because of me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

After a moment, he realized it was Ryou's softer voice he was hearing, not the one that spoke when he was in spirit form, but he doubted Yugi could understand him anyway. His aibou's cheek was pressed his shoulder, crying silently this time, no sobs. He tightened his grip on Yugi's back.

What seemed like hours later, though it was in reality only a few minutes, Yugi drew back and wiped at his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I… I don't know…" He swallowed, grimacing. "I don't even know you. I really shouldn't have…"

"It's all right, aibou," Yami reassured him instantly. "I understand."

But Yugi was looking at him oddly. "…Did you just call me 'partner'?"

Yami frowned, ran back through his last couple of sentences, and then cursed himself where he stood. "Uh…" Lie. Say you said something like 'Raido' or something.

He considered. Or just tell the truth again. Worked pretty well last time, didn't it?

"Uh, well," Yami cleared his throat, "I was just thinking… We're pretty similar, right? I mean, we're both possessed by ancient spirits and all-" Hah! "-and we're working together to get rid of Bakura completely, so… we're sort of like partners, ne? At least, that's what I think," he concluded, bowing his head humbly.

If Set could see me now, he thought, somewhat ironically. The former Pharaoh of Egypt, bowing before a young teenage boy like some slave. It wouldn't be the first time he'd shown servitude to this particular boy, though. He swallowed slightly at the memory of Yugi, lifeless in his arms, and hearing his own voice echo in their shared mind. Hold on! Hold on, please. Mou hitori no ore…

The Pharaoh, pleading- no, begging, hands 'dirtied' by a peasant. Yes, Set would have a regular riot at that, he was sure.

"…I guess that makes sense," Yugi decided. "Does that mean I should call you 'aibou' as well?"

Yami automatically shook his head. "No, that's fine. It's just my own stupid idea."

At one time, calling you 'Yugi' was an insult to you, a sign of distance. Now it's just me not being creepy.

"Um, anyway," Yugi was saying, glancing around his room hesitantly. He scrubbed an absent hand over the tear-stains, which were probably itching by now. "I have to work at the Game Shop in a few minutes, so I guess you should be going soon."

Yami nodded reluctantly. "I'll see you at school tomorrow then, aibou?" he said, relishing the feeling of that word on his tongue again. Yugi gave him a slight smile.

"Mm. Though," the smile changed to a teasing grin, "I'm going to hope it's at lunch this time, and not when you're busy stalking me."

Yami actually blushed, letting out an embarrassed laugh. "Aheh, yeah, sorry about that…"
"S'okay," Yugi replied, his smile light and easy again. And suddenly, there was something in his eyes that made Yami's breath catch in his throat. Something he hadn't seen in a very, very long time. Something he had almost forgotten.

And then it was gone, and Yami felt his lips curve up in a small smile.

TBC