Disclaimer: I do not own W.I.T.C.H. This is a work of fan fiction.
"Blunk and Napoleon's Excellent Adventure" Chapter Three
"Goblin?" Blunk repeated. "GOBLIN?" He was indignant. "Blunk not Goblin! Blunk Passling!" He shook his head, incredulous. "Goblin!" he snorted.
As the annoyed Passling continued to protest the insult, Napoleon rounded the corner. "Oh, it's you." The cat said. "I thought I smelled something. Say, did you happen to see a pair of really dumb humans run by here?"
"See them? Blunk try to be friendly, look where it got Blunk! They called Blunk goblin! Goblin! Can you believe it? Blunk never been so insulted in all Blunk's life!"
"Look bub, these are the guys that tried to off Tara's mom for some reason. You wanna come with me, I'll have even more fun options when we catch up." Napoleon said.
"Oh, Blunk come along alright!" the Passling answered. "Blunk got score to settle now…"
"What have I started here?" Napoleon wondered as he ran to catch up with Blunk, who was already hot on the trail.
As they ran side by side, Johnny said to his partner "That's it Frankie. I don't cares if I haves ta walks da whole ways, I'm not gonna be in this town come sunset tonights."
"I dunnos Johnny," Frankie replied, "You knows how it goes in da horror movies… Da guy outs in da middle a nowhere get's torn ta shreds first."
"Dat's da movies Frankie. All I knows is, dis town's getting' infested with fairy-tail freaks, and I want's outs."
"Yeah. It's too bad dat we not likely ta stumble across a magic wand or somethin's."
Johnny stopped running. "Frankie, dat's it!" he said. "We's not likely ta find a magic wand or an enchanted sword or nothing. Youse right der. But, da Goblin don't know dat, does it?"
Confused, Frankie asked "Youse losts me Johnny. Where youse goin' wit dis?"
Rooting about in a pile of trash along the side of the alley, Johnny explained "Goblins is fairy-tale stuff, rights? Magic stuff'd hurt them, so dey gots ta be afraids of it…"
"So?" Frankie asked.
"So, all we gots ta do, is makes somethin' what looks like a magic staff, then when da Goblin gets here, we tell's it dat we got's a magic weapon. Its'll run away and we'll be safe." Johnny fished an old rusty pipe about two feet long out of the debris. He attached a dirty but intact globe shaped light fixture to one end. "There." He said. "Our 'magic wand.' Now, listen close Frankie, you got's ta get dis on the first try…"
Stalking the hoodlums, Napoleon turned to Blunk and said "Here's the plan. These two are total morons, and cowards to boot. If they think you're a goblin, and that scares them, then we need to use it."
"Blunk still mad. If Blunk can get even by being scary goblin, that's what Blunk will do."
"Good. What we'll do is, you'll go first and I'll come up behind you. I won't change into Regent form until I have to though. Hopefully, they'll try to 'rescue' the poor wittle puddy-tat from the mean goblin, then I'll change while I'm standing behind them. It'll be hilarious."
"Blunk like plan." The Passling said. "Can Blunk make loud scary monster noises at them?"
"Knock yourself out."
Miranda's date ended early, when Gideon was unexpectedly called home by his parents. "Sorry, I had planned to walk you home." He said.
"That's okay, things come up." Miranda said. She was really thinking "Good, I won't have to backtrack all the way here to start following the trail." She stood, watching Gideon jog away, until he was out of sight. With a sigh, she turned, found the trail, and rushed to catch up.
"So what were you doing in that dumpster anyway?" Napoleon asked Blunk. "Don't you Passlings ever get tired of garbage?"
"What humans call garbage Passlings call treasure." Blunk answered. "Silly humans, always throw away things still perfectly good."
"If you say so. Me, I prefer my stuff new and clean… Hey, you smell that? We're getting close. They're only a couple minutes ahead of us now."
"Good. If they want goblin, they get goblin!" Blunk said.
Napoleon laughed. "That's the spirit kid."
"Okay, now repeat the plan backs so I know youse gots it." Johnny said.
"You'll wave da fake wand ats da goblin, and I'll shout something, like a name for da wand dat sounds likes a real magic weapon thing."
"Right. That's what'll makes da goblin think it's real, so youse gots ta make da name convincing Frankie."
"But Johnny," Frankie protested, "I dunno what's ta calls it!"
"Just makes's somethin' up's, it's not dat hard."
"Alright's Johnny, I'll try."
"Good. Now gets ready, it's oughta be catchin' up any times now…"
Moments later, Blunk and Napoleon rounded the corner of a warehouse and saw their quarry. "This is it." The cat said, "Let's see your acting skills."
"Right." Blunk whispered back. He then raised both arms in what he hoped was a menacing posture and ran towards the two men. "Rarrgh!" he screamed, "Rarrrgh! Me Blunk! Me scary goblin! Be afraid! Raarrrgh!"
Johnny stepped into Blunk's path and raised the fake 'magic wand.' He realized Frankie wasn't saying anything. "Frankie!" he whispered urgently, "Frankie, say somethin'!"
"Oh, right… Umm…" As Blunk drew closer, Frankie searched his mind for some kind of good name for a magical weapon. Then he got it…
"Go Johnny! Go!" Frankie shouted, "Smite The Goblin With Your Staff Of Whacking!"
Silence followed in the wake of Frankie's words. Johnny stared at his friend in disbelief. Blunk looked at Napoleon. Napoleon looked at Blunk. They both broke into shocked laughter, rolling around on their backs, hysterical that Frankie had said something so utterly ridiculous.
Johnny recovered first, dropping the rusty pipe, grabbing Frankie by the arm, and pulling him along as they ran from their pursuers, who were still laughing too hard to give chase. "Staff of Whacking?" Johnny demanded, "Staff… of… Whacking….? God youse an idiot!"
"It's worked didn't it's Johnny? It's not chasin' us!"
"Maybe nots now, but when it stops laughin', see, it'll be all over us." Johnny answered. "Now let's move before youse can get's us killed." Together they fled…