Here's the finale! The moment you've been waiting on - who will be the winner of the Top Gear Winter Olympics 2011? Let's find out!

Our final event is taking place on the ski jumps of Lillehammer, and it's against a skier. Let's let Adam explain.

"Right, guys; we have got to get those," he noted, pointing at the 10 Leyland Mini Coopers, "to jump further than him, or jump the furthest out of all of us, in the 'Top Gear Winter Olympics Ski Slash Car Jumping Champio!'"

So, 10 slightly rusty, 25-year-old Leyland Minis. Now, this is going to be a hard task, as we have to take in many variables. So we had tea.

25 minutes later...

"So, come on, Vincent," Nina urged.

"Hang on, hang on, hang on," he replied, still busy.

"Is gravity going to be enough to get the cars down the ramp and beat the skier?" Chelsea impatiently simplified. At that point, Vincent finished, slamming his notebook down.

"No," he put simply.

"OK," Taylor P. noted. "We need more propulsion, 'cause we can't use the engine – that'll just spin the wheels."

"Also, we can't put a driver in it, 'cause he'll be killed," Crystal added. "So we need to work something out on steering – that'll be the Captain Slows' job, OK?"

"What if it sets off?" Judit also noted. "'Cause we've got to stop it at some point, otherwise, it'll just soar over there and take out the whole of Lillehammer. So, the Hamsters are going to work on stopping it."

"OK – so, guidance for the Captain Slows, braking for the Hamsters, and then, the Jezzas will figure out some way of..." I recapped.

"...power!" Reinard finished.

"Yes, power," Jeff laughed. "Let's get about our business, people."

"Earl Grey in Norway, who'd ever thought of it?" Jessica wondered, while taking her tea with her.

The first job was to mark where the skier landed, so we knew the distance to beat, and that was given to me and Crystal. Unfortunately, neither I, nor Crystal, was Sir Edmund Hillary. And I volunteered Crystal, who had only sprayed a little bit of the distance.

"There we go, I've done it," she declared.

"No, you're gonna have to get it across," I argued.

As Crystal tried to get the target fully across, she began to slip back. I laughed.

"Shut up!" she exclaimed, and she slipped back even further. I laughed even harder. As she slid to the bottom, I laughed hysterically, like a loon.

"How hard can it be?" I jokingly asked, still laughing. With a frustrated Crystal proving her own laws of gravity, I got on with the business of power. I called up the UK Rocketry Association, asking for rockets. And we couldn't get them now, because it'd gone dark. So all of us went to the pub.

Now – fast forward to 1:30 PM the next day…

While JT, Nina and I were attaching the rockets, Jay-bee and company worked on the snow barrier.

"I think, about here," Jamiebel suggested.

"Or there," Alex noted, watching Jamiebel slide down gradually. But she climbed back up.

"Right." When she began shoveling… "…bug!" …she slid back down, taking Jessica and Ali with her.

Back to me, JT and Nina – we finally figured out how fast the Minis have to get down the ski jump, which is 83 mph. That meant the Hamsters must think big. I rang up Judit and Taylor I.

"Judit Limòn and Taylor Isel, how's the braking going?" I asked them.

"Yeah, it's going well. It's going well..." they answered, both also sliding down the hill.

After some time, we got the measurements for the Captain Slows for the ice grooves, which should be 1300 mm in width, made new skis for the Mini, and all that good stuff. And when we were all done, all of us checked on Ali (because she was the only one to be bothered about it, and the rest had already given up) to see how her ice barrier was.

"I can guarantee that won't stop the Mini," JT explained. "Partly, because it's not substantial enough, and also partly because of those damn Pirates*, but mostly because you've built that in front of that slope, and the Mini... is coming down the other one!"

"Right," Ali casually replied. At this point, the rest of us fell over laughing. "OK."

"What a complete...!" Crystal laughed.

"I'll make some adjustments."

"Did nobody tell you?" I asked, also laughing.

"NO!" Ali shouted, laughing, as well. "Obviously! Or I'd have built it over there!" We just continued laughing. "That is fairly embarrassing. What I need... is a big machine."

So Ali did indeed get herself a big machine, and, with the help from some of the locals, constructed the Great Wall of Lillehammer. And while that happened, the rocket cars, primed with around 1 ½ tons of explosive thrust each, began their perilous journey to the top of the jump. And the ice grooves were ready for our approval. We lined up the rocket Minis, made our predictions and were set.

"This has never been done before," Elizabeth noted.

"No. We are, in fact, at the cutting edge of cocking about!" Edith added.

The time for cocking about, however, was over. The wall was finished, the target laid down (partially), and now we were in the hands of the rocket-men. Each of the rocket Minis had its own colors of vents. And each time, we cheered on the Minis. And then we heard the countdown.

"Armed. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…" the rocket-man counted. "Initiate!"

Each of our Minis were launched one at a time, blasting though the ramp. Amazingly, the only one who was able to beat the skier was the Springboks' Mini. Of course, that was before ours. When the English Mini (that's mine, Jamiebel and Davina's) launched, ours fell way short of the target, but it did launch out and fly!

"Wall's gonna be needed!" I warned. When it hit the barrier, we laughed with triumph.

"We were a bit short," Jamiebel noted.

"We didn't beat the Springboks, but how cool was that?"

So, what's the final results?

Joint last place: Top Gear Italy and Top Gear Australia, with 1 point.

Joint fifth place: Top Gear Scotland, Top Gear Ireland and Top Gear Wales, with 2 points.

Joint fourth place: Top Gear South Africa and Top Gear Argentina, with 9 points.

Third place: Top Gear New Zealand, with 11 points.

Second place: Top Gear France, with 15 points.

First place: Top Gear England, with 16 points.

So the winner of the Top Gear Winter Olympics is Top Gear England! And as the prize: our Stig is going to perform a snowmobile ski jump! It was obviously the landing that worried me the most, but it didn't really matter, as he landed safe and sound.

"And on that bombshell," JT replied, "it's time to end the show. Thanks very much for reading. Good night!"

END.

* damn Pirates: JT makes occasional cracks about the Morro Bay Pirates (a high school football team, and he used to go to Pioneer Valley High School).