Hey everyone! These two chapters were originally meant to be one but I separated them cause it was a bit long :S :P Unfortunately school's starting Monday so won't be updating very often :(….. anyway enjoy!

Tomoyo's POV

Syaoran's being off with me.

Actually, he's being off with everyone. The same could almost be said for myself.

Maybe it was the fact my mind was otherwise preoccupied with thoughts of Eriol who, by the way would glance at me every now and again from across the table. His words kept circling my mind. 'It can only start with you.'

I shook my head to rid those thoughts. No, for tonight I would not privilege him by letting him see that he got to me.

After the meal I slid into the empty seat beside Syaoran and sunk my hand into his. He seemed too preoccupied with his own thoughts to react. Everybody lounged about the restaurant sorting out taxis for getting home after 'The Shandy'

"Are you going out?" I asked him while resting my head on his shoulder.

"Don't know." He responded gruffly. Something was bothering him but for fear he would snap, I said nothing.

A piercing laugh came from the opposite end of the table from Sakura. She threw her head back to laugh at something Takashi said. It was nice to see he was having a good time. Her tiara was slightly slanted on her brown hair. I noticed her bottle of wine was almost empty. I would have commented it to her but it was her birthday, I didn't want to be a spoil sport.

The doors to the entrance were flung open and in strutted Fanran. I sighed out loud and I felt Syaoran's arm flex in annoyance. He scowled but then sighed. He, like me, probably didn't want to make a scene.

"Sakura! Happy birthday darling." She said loud enough to silence some people however murmurs still lingered in the background.

I expected Sakura to roll her eyes or give her the finger. Instead she smiled and raised her empty glass to Fanran.

"Why thank you I'm so happy you made it! It wouldn't be the same without you."

Oh the irony.

"Funny," Fanran said making her way to the small bar. "How my invitation magically got lost in the post when it is my brother who's paying for all this since you got dropped from that second rate job." She laughed and took a seat next to Fuutie, who was looking extremely bored.

Sakura did not reply to this but rather turned her back to continue her conversation with Rika and Naoko.

"Did you invite her?" Syaoran said suddenly directing his attention to me. I looked down and shook my head. I deliberately did not invite her.

I sat beside Sakura and whispered, "I'm so sorry. I never said anything to her I don't know why she's here." I felt so horrible. Sakura however, seemed completely un-phased. Her high spirits lit the whole atmosphere.

Whilst I circled the place making sure everyone was ok my eyes stopped at Eriol. He wasn't looking at me…but Fanran. Fanran looked quite stunning in her frilly white blouse and black skirt that stopped at her thighs. Her brown hair was cropped at the shoulders and glossy. Eriol seemed to notice this. He sat at the bar stool beside her smirking with some interest on what she was saying. He leaned on the counter with his head resting on his fist.

What was she saying? Why was she eyeing him like that? What's going on! Her seductive eyes lusting over him twisted a knot in my stomach. I crossed my arms across my stomach and averted my eyes. Why is this happening? Why would I care who Fanran sinks her claws into, especially if it was Eriol.

Fanran jokingly hit him laughing at something he said. When she grabbed her purse and headed for the bathroom my feet strutted towards him. I intended to go back to Syaoran but found myself walking towards Eriol.

"Careful, she has fangs." I said bitterly.

He smiled and sipped his drink. "I think she's quite charming."

What is his game? She was so not his type.

"She's married too."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

I didn't know what to say. God I was being a bitch. His eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Yeah well, Fanran tends to make a scene anywhere she goes. I'm just warning you." I turned my heel to leave. I don't know why it bothered me to see Fanran flirting with him but it did.

Sakura's POV

I'm bored.

It's my birthday I shouldn't be bored!

All around me people were making light chatter with each other.

Like a spoiled child I rested my head into my hands and pouted. Wiping my nose on my sash I looked around to spot Feimei mirroring my expression. She sat at the bar on her own obviously not enjoying the evening.

I rose from the table and walked to her. Scratched that, I half stumbled over to her. For some reason I was unable to keep my balance. The ground would not stay flat for me. No, I know what your thinking, I might be a little drunk but no- I'm fine… a little tipsy but fine.

"Feimei!" I said a little too loud as she jumped a little on her seat.

"Oh… hi Ms Kinomoto." She said meekly and continued to look down at the counter. Feimei and Fuutie were always the quietest of the Li's. They were older than Syaoran but you'd think they were younger in the way they look up to him. He himself treats them as if they were his baby sisters. I didn't know if they liked me or not but they certainly treated me nicer then Sheifa and Fanran.

"Call me Sakura." My Dutch courage was assisting me in talking to her. On a normal basis I would not know how to engage in a conversation with them. I made two attempts to balance myself onto the stool and by the third time I got it.

She laughed quietly but then looked away nervously.

She may be quiet on the outside but from the stories I heard Feimei was quite the party animal. When Yelen let the leash loose Feimei would roam the nightclubs on China. Syaoran has told me many stories about her.

"Hey Feimei, this place is shit, do you want to head to a nightclub?"

I swear her eyes lit up right away and devilish smile formed on her lips similar to Syaoran's.

"I…I don't know. Mom wouldn't be too impressed. If I were seen in the wrong place I would be accused of 'tainting the Li's social standing'" She mumbled but I could tell she warmed to the idea.

"You're twenty five!" I exclaimed. (Even though she acts like a rebellious seventeen year old.) "Do you care what your mother thinks?"

She smiled coyly before she asked one last question.

"Could we… have shots?"

My grin reflected hers as I put my arm around her leading her out of the restaurant with the others.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two hours later

Ok, I'll admit it… I'm a little drunk.

Ok, I'm very drunk.

"Whooooooop!" Feimei shouted as we slammed our fourth empty shot glass down onto the bar. "More!" She shouted at the barman who was struggling to keep up with our orders as well as everyone else's.

"Haven't you ladies had enough?" he grunted filling us another shot glass.

"Hey pal it's my birthday and we want MORE!"

"Yeah!" Feimei backed me up while hitting her hands of the counter. How it ended up with myself and her I don't know. I never realised how wild Feimei was.

We were now in 'The Shandy' along with the rest of the gang who all spaced out in different places in the club. The place was packed and I recognised a few people from work only because they came over to say how very sorry they were I was let go. Fuutie I learned could not hold her drink very well and was now on the dance floor with some very good looking guy.

Feimei ordered us another martini.

Taking the glass into my hand I swivelled round the chair and scanned the place. Tomoyo was no where to be seen. She seemed to have disappeared as have Eriol and the others. As for Syaoran, I'm surprised he even bothered to tag along. The music blared as purple and blue lights flashed on the dance floor. I could feel the thud of the speakers move my body. I could barely hear Feimei even though she was right beside me.

"Go on with your story!" Feimei badgered while poking me with her cute little drunken face pouting.

"Oh yeah!" I said remembering what I was saying beforehand. "So anyway, there I was walking home from school. I walked into the kitchen minding my own business you know? And I started making dinner and then I realised we were of sauce but then I remembered 'Hey, Toya was eating in the living room last night, why don't I check in there? So then I walked in and BOOM! My brother and Yukito making out, on the couch!" I concluded telling her the story of how I came to realise my brother was gay.

Feimei threw her head back and laughed hysterically as did I. It wasn't that funny of a story but hey, we're both drunk. Everything was funny.

"Aw man, and your brother is so HOT! So is Yukito! So typical the sexiest guys in Tomoeda are gay, with EACH OTHER!" She laughed.

"I was only ten! I was so fucking freaked out! Yukito was my first crush, and my first rejection." We were of laughing again. Feimei struggled to stay on her barstool.

Another two martini's and I was plastered. I couldn't even see straight. It was such a good high and I could actually for a while completely forget him. You know? Him.

"Douchbag." I muttered.

"Huh?" Feimei slurred. She was worse than I.

"Nothing." I said smiling.

"Sakura!" She suddenly screamed into my face as if I just arrived.

"What?"

"You. Are. So. Fricking. Cool!" She screamed and launched herself to hug me. Even her hair reeked of alcohol. Were we even here that long?

"Seriously, my sisters NEVER take me out to clubs. I mean, Fuutie and I sometimes go out, but because of the 'Li' reputation we're practically banned from a social life outside Li enterprise. I wish you were marrying Syaoran instead of Tomoyo." She kissed me on the cheek sweetly.

"Thanks Feimei. I said trying to ignore the last part.

"No Saks, thank you. I'd trade in all my sisters for and by the way don't worry about Fanran. She only hates you because our daddy loved you more than her. She's bitter and she has webbed feet! Seriously! Don't ever tell her I told you that! She's so ashamed of it, I'd be too, especially since she has that in-growing toenail and all." Feimei was beginning to word vomit. Saying anything and everything that came to her mind.

"Hey Fei." I said leaning into her.

"Yeah,"

"That guy behind you has been checking you ass out all night. If you don't give him some attention he's gonna move on." I said indicating to the Hispanic looking man behind her. His side glances at Feimei's derriere were becoming more frequent.

Feimei smirked and gulped her martini down in a millisecond before swivelling around to stare the guy straight in the face. "Hellooooooo Mexico." She said flirtatiously scotching closer to him.

Feeling uncomfortable I turned to leave in the opposite direction. Stupid I wasn't watching where I was going so it was inevitable I collided with someone.

"Sorry!" I shouted cursing myself and at my alcohol levels.

"Don't worry about sweet cheeks." He said in a voice that was so familiar.

"Reggie?"

The guy turned back to me to reveal my old high school buddy and ex-boyfriend.

"Sakura? No fucking way!" He pulled me into a hug nearly crushing me. "What are you doing here this ain't your usual spot."

"It's my birthday!" I said showing of my tiara which was lost in my hair.

"Oh yeah I think I texted you didn't I?"

"Yeah thanks." I said ignoring the fact that his texts were a week early yet again.

His hair was still the same ash brown and long tied into a very small ponytail at the back.

"I'd offer to buy you a drink but to be honest I think you maybe had a few already." He said nudging me playfully which caused me to stumble of balance a little.

"So? Never stopped us before has it!" I questioned.

"Your right I suppose. You still drink shots?"

"What kind of question is that?" I snickered.

He winked and grabbed my hand leading me once again to the bar. Just as we approached the bar someone else's hand grabbed my elbow.

"Have you seen Fanran?" Syaoran's voice came from behind.

I glared. Typical of him to ruin my fun.

"No." I said curtly tugging away from his grip.

"Sakura where are you going-"

"Well, well Li long time no chat." Reggie said slightly mockingly.

Syaoran's fingers sunk into my elbow deeper at the sight of Reggie. Reggie smirked and confidently walked up to Syaoran holding out his hand. I gulped at the cold glare Syaoran was giving him. I shrunk a little wishing I was one of the people dancing around us completely oblivious to what was happening in our little circle.

I suppose Reggie was Syaoran's Fanran. Someone who took pleasure in pissing someone else off.

Syaoran did not shake Reggie's hand nor did he let go of me.

"Let's go Sakura." Syaoran tugged me his direction. At that moment I got really pissed off.

"So what you decide to talk to me now?" I fumed releasing myself from him. "Well tough shit Syaoran I don't want to talk with you. You can't just ignore me when you feel like it and expect me to just go with it!" I shouted angrily. My words were slow and I struggled to say exactly what my brain was thinking.

"Sakura you've had too much to drink. You don't know what you're talking about-"

"You heard the lady Li." Reggie came up from behind me and slithered his hand around my waist, pulling me into him. "She don't want to talk to you dude."

"If I've to put a bullet through your head don't think I'll hesitate." Syaoran threatened getting close to Reggie.

Why was he acting like this? He was being such an asshole!

"Go away Syaoran! I'll talk to whoever I fucking want to." I was so mad at him.

"Fine." He gritted through his teeth shooting daggers through his eyes at me. He stalked off and Reggie resumed to lead me towards the bar.

Why does he have to be like that? Why can't he just take Tomoyo and go as far away as possible! Get married on a faraway island, live in a big fucking house where I don't have to see them! Wait, what am I saying? Shut up Sakura you're drunk. I didn't even realise I was at the bar until Reggie put another shot glass containing electric blue liquid in it.

Everything was so blurry and out of focus I could barely make out Reggie who was standing in front of me. From the corner of my eye I could see Feimei making out with her Mexican.

"Cheers babe." Reggie said clinking his glass of mine.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tomoyo's POV

I couldn't take my eyes of them.

Her skirt was hiked up even more then it was at the restaurant. She was progressively becoming more touchy feely with Eriol as the night continued. I was on the second floor of the club and had a bird's eye view of them. I felt like a spy. Next to her I spotter Fuutie dancing wildly with a group of people I didn't recognise.

Hmmm…. Didn't know Fuutie was so confident.

Fanran broke away from him and made her way up to me.

"Tomoyo, why are you up here all alone?" She said with fake interest as she flopped onto the leather couch beside me. She looked over at Chiharu and Takashi who were all 'lovey dovey' as if they weren't going out for almost ten years. I sighed and looked over at Syaoran at the bar. He was not the type to be so affectionate. I suppose that was just him and I wasn't going to change that.

Fanran pulled out her powder to touch up on her already flawless face keeping her eyes fixed on her reflection in the small mirror.

"You seem to take up quite an interest in Eriol." I said ignoring her question. Clutching my glass, I hated the bitterness coming from my mouth.

"Oh, Hiiragizawa? He's quite the sexy one." She said eyeballing him at the bar.

He was now having a drink with Syaoran and engaging in man talk.

"There's something about him that's quite charming apart from looks and I can't quite put my finger on it." She glanced down at him as if he were a puzzle to be solved.

"What would Frank say to all of this?" I said pretending to be interested with the olive in my drink.

"Oh Tomoyo," She slapped my shoulder deviously smirking. "It's only a little flirting, harmless my dear. Besides, I'd never seriously go for a musician." She said as if being a musician was like being a leper. "I bet that man hasn't got a penny to his name. Shame though, if he invested in a proper job I'd certainly show more interest." She laughed nasally.

A tinge of anger burned my chest. I knew she was only playing him. Surly he must know that. Eriol has always been a good judge of character so he must see through her doesn't he? I don't know what I was feeling but I knew I didn't want Fanran near Eriol. I didn't want them alone! So much so that when Eriol left Syaoran I followed him. Fanran was too preoccupied with her reflection to notice my sudden disappearance.

I bullied my way through the thick crowd until I broke free and saw him in his black T-shirt.

"Eriol!" I screamed over the loud thumping music. He obviously didn't hear me so I shouted again. "Eriol!"

I shouted again. He heard me this time and turned to face me.

Smiling as if he hadn't seen me in years, "Tomoyo, are you ok?"

"I'm fine…um…" We were being shoved around by the edge of the dancing crowd. "I just wanted to… just wanted to say about you and Fanran…" My sentence kept getting paused due to the crowd knocking air out of me.

It didn't matter though; Eriol couldn't hear me over the music as he kept indicating towards his ears.

I gave up and threw my hands in the air. He then grabbed my hand and led me away from the crowd and into a storage room that muted the music to some degree. We were alone…and my mind went blank.

"So now, what were you saying?" He leaned against the door looking down at me with sapphire eyes.

"I um…. Well I just…"I scratched my head as he looked down at me waiting. "You do know Fanran is just using you right?"

He chuckled revealing his pearly teeth. "Does it bother you that I talk to her?"

"Of course not! I'm just…. forget it. You'll find out for yourself."

"Tomoyo," He said catching my forearm. "You wouldn't happen to be jealous would you?"

"What? Of course not why would I be jealous?" I fumed at the very thought.

"I guess you wouldn't be." He shrugged innocently.

"I mean, I'm engaged to Syaoran!"

"Yes, you are."

"So the idea of… being jealous of you is…is…" I found myself blubbering on and on embarrassed as to why I was here.

Was I jealous? No! I couldn't be. Just because I ran down two flights of stairs across a crowded dance floor and ended up in a closet with him does NOT mean I was jealous of him.

I stared at the floor mumbling my way out of this situation. I never noticed him stepping closer to me. Flashbacks came of the time he cornered me in my home.

When I could think of nothing else to say I became aware of his closeness. His expression was serious.

My heart began to slowly hammer at my chest and I struggled to keep my hands away from my hair.

"Tomoyo, you don't honestly think I'd go for Fanran do you?" He almost sounded hurt.

"I…guess not. It's just… by the way she was making you laugh I just thought… I don't know what I thought." I said ashamed that I misjudged him. I knew he didn't want her in that way. But I let this… emotion get in the way of my common sense.

He was close now, seriously close. His flawless face looking down at me with an expression that made me feel butterflies in my stomach.

He slowly dropped his head down to lock eyes on me. With every inch he came closer he eyed me cautiously for some sign of protest.

I didn't budge.

Nor did I break off eye contact for a second. I was willing him to do something. The music inside seemed to be silenced and all I could hear was his breathing soft on my face. He stopped with his forehead almost touching mine.

I caught my breath.

He could've kissed me right now he was that close. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing.

I looked at his mouth wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips.

He was so close, why didn't he kiss me?

"Why are you doing this to me?" I barely whispered although my voice seemed to pierce through the atmosphere.

He closed the gap between our foreheads. He brought his hand slowly to mine and drew circles on it with his thumb. This motion made me tremble. I struggled to keep myself composed, something that always seems to happen when I'm with him.

"Because I care about you. Enough too come back to Tomoeda."

"I don't know what you mean." I said trying to avoid his eyes.

"Yes you do Tomoyo. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy Eriol." I lied. "Everything is working out for me."

"For you or for your mother?" He challenged.

"Stop it." I whispered closing my eyes unable to look at him. I didn't want to see the disappointment reflect of his sapphire eyes. It hurt too much. "I love Syaoran and I shouldn't be here…with you."

"Then leave. I won't stop you." There was sufficient space beside him where I could pass him. He continued to softly stroke my hand. Technically he wasn't holding me here.

I could leave.

I should leave.

But I didn't.

So close... he was so close…

I forgot who I was.

For one moment I was not Tomoyo Daidouji, fiancée of Syaoran Li. I was someone else, someone who really wanted Eriol. The emotions I've ignored for years now burst through me and in this state; I closed the aching gap between us and kissed him.

It was sweet, It was beautiful…It was as wonderful as a first kiss should be… it was wrong.

A flashing image of my mother's scowl pierced my mind and my arms pushed back against his chest.

The moment was broken. Immediately I became filled with anger and acted the way my mother would.

I slapped him.

He seemed in shock and whatever other reaction he was to take was interrupted by my sudden temper.

"Don't you ever do that again Hiiragizawa! Don't touch me again! Stay away from me, don't come near me again!" My hands were balled into fists.

I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to be here.

I couldn't breath. This was claustrophobic. What just happened?

I ran pass him and burst through the door. Rave music flooded through the door and I was thankful to be with other people. I pushed through the thick crowd with my heart racing. I stopped when I reached the far end of the bar. Looking back I did not see him. He didn't follow me.

My hand flew to my chest.

"Go on Fuutie! Wooooooooo!" A man behind me screamed.

I whirled around and long and behold there was Fuutie. Dancing on top of the bar like a common stripper.

To be fair at least she had most of her clothes on.

"Fuutie!" I screamed bulling my way up to her. "What the FUCK are you doing?"

Hazily she settled her eyes on me and exaggerated her smile. "I'm dancing Daidouji what does it look like?"

"Get down NOW!" I reached up and tugged her arm. I was terrified Syaoran would see her. I assumed he didn't otherwise he would have dragged her of the bar and put all those guys in a coma for even looking at her.

She pulled back and pouted.

"But these guys LOVE me!" Her male admirer's whistled and howled at her.

Fucking pigs, I thought to myself.

I reached up to grab her. She half fell off but I luckily caught her before she hit her head of the bar. Where the hell was Sakura? Last time I checked Fuutie was with her.

"Tomoyo…" She said. God she reeked of alcohol. Wasn't Feimei supposed to look after her? It doesn't matter now anyway. Any condition Fuutie goes home in Syaoran will be blame it on me. He was so protective of her.

"What Fuutie?"

"I'm going….going to be…be…sick."

Immediately I dragged her to the bathrooms as quick as I could. We just about made it to the bathroom before Fuutie hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

I closed the stall as other girls were looking at her unimpressed and disgusted.

So like a nurse I sat beside her and rubbed her back as she continued to vomit.

"Its hurts Sakura!" She whined.

"It'll pass. It's Tomoyo by the way not Sakura." I clarified.

After a few minutes she stopped getting sick and lapsed into a hazy state.

"You know what Sakura? I really wish it was you marrying Syaoran. I like Tomoyo but…she's not as fun as you. You and Syaoran are just…perfect." She began to slur then silence herself to the point where I thought she fell asleep.

Tears welled in my eyes.

She's just drunk, I told myself. She doesn't know what she's doing.

Do you know what you're doing Tomoyo?

I shut my eyes and prayed that this night would just end.