Allison POV

"HaPpY BiRtHdAy!"

"holyedwardcullen!" I jumped up from the tree trunk I was sitting at and turned toward Paul. . .who was on the floor laughing. . . ha ha ha. "You know it's not my birthday right?"

"holy" he started still laughing, "Edward Cullen!" he questioned trying to put on a serious face, "He's is gonna hear about this one!" he yelled running to his car.

"NOO!" I tackled him on the ground and quickly gagged him with my purse strap. His eyes widened, staring at me with a frightened look. My face was cold.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way. But you will NOT tell anyone about this," I gave him one of Rosalie's Bitchy stares, "I can make your life a living hell. Are we clear?" I tightened my grip on the gag. He nodded scared of my reaction. "Do you pinky promise?" I held out my pinky and he quickly held out his as well. I smiled.

Then, I started laughing hard. He was so scared! "Wow did you really think I would like kill you or something?" He stood up slowly and looked at me in surprise.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side. You get really scary."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes, "Jake got back from school a while ago. We're wasting precious time!" I got up and looked for him.

Step 1:

Jake was running out on the beach. He was shirtless as usual. Cue drooling.

"Stop frickin' staring at him and let's get this over with," an irritated Paul yelled. What go his undies in a twist?

Paul was hiding behind the driftwood on the beach and I ran up to Jake, still in the crazy outfit covered with glitter and paint.

"What the hell happened to you?" he looked me up and down.

"Woof!" I responded.

"What?"

"Woof! Bark! BARK! WOOF!"

"Hardy har har. That's hilarious cuz I'm a dog," he said sarcastically.

"BARK! BARK! WOLF! WOLF!" I continued answering in barks. He started running again and I followed him barking along the way.

"Leave me alone!" He yelled closing the door in my face. I fell on the floor laughing my ass off! That was hilarious!

Step 2:

I knocked on his door. Composing my self. He peaked out wearily and when I didn't bark he opened it completely.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for," I pouted, "Forgive me?" He smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"AAAAHH!" I yelled running to the street, "The space heater is trying to kill me!"

Step 3:

"Aww. Flippin Oreo cookies! Paul where are you?" I looked around the bushes were I last left him. He was making me walk in heels in this mud! I grabbed my shoes and tossed them into the trees.

"OWWW!" Paul walked out holding his forehead.

That's what you get I thought smugly. "It's time for the next part!" I quickly walked up behind Jake. "So your taking your walk! Good boy!" I said in a baby voice. He gave me a 'what the hell' look. I grabbed the leash from behind me and hooked on his pant's pocket.

"You know," I started pulling him behind me, "dogs make good pets, not good partners."

Step 4:

I had the invitation in my hand and Paul was had one as well. He put the camera on th porch swing facing our way. We knocked on the door. Jake opened it about 5 centimeters and left it like that.

"We're not going to bite!" I yelled, "Just open the freakin door!"

He stepped out of the house and looked at us waiting. We stared back. After a few minutes of that Jake finally snapped, "Are you going to talk or not!"

"Oh right," I said, "We wanted to ask you if you had RSVP'ed to Bells and Edward's wedding yet. The invitations were sent out a while ago," Paul and I showed him our invitations, "and we need to fit you for your made of honor dress."

Jake stared at us and slammed the door.

Paul and I shrugged, grinned, and walked away.

Step 5:

It was super sunny that afternoon and Jake was out on the beach. Again. Shirtless. Again.

That wolf was gonna kill me.

"Are you just going to stare at him, cuz I have more important things to do." Paul said bored as he lay down on the sand. I glared at him and walked to were Jake was.

"You know," I said startling him, "real men sparkle in the sunlight, so since you don't . . ." I trailed off. Finally I blurted out, "Are you sure you're a guy?"

Step 6:

I had gotten another fake engagment ring since the first one got stuck on Paul's finger. GRRR! I had to waste a whole other quarter. Anyways. This was going to be my most favorite part!

Jake was still at the beach and I had finally changed out of the glitter and paint covered clothing into a nice whit summer dress, and no heels, even though they may come in handy sometimes. I quickly turned my grinning face into a mask of worry, and nervousness. I could hear Paul snickering from behind the trees so I glared to shut him up.

"Jake," I said timidly sitting next to him. He looked annoyed, but when he saw my face he had a look of concern.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to tell you something important," I turned my worried face towards him, "I have imprinted on you Jacob Black," he looked at me surprised, "I love you!" I yelled out.

"Marry me!" I quickly took out the ring from my purse and held it out to him, trying to keep my face serious.

Step 7:

"Okay," he said quietly.

"What!" I looked up in shock. He nodded and said, "I will marry you."

I stared at him my eyes wide. "Umh. . . I was kidding," I managed to say.

"Oh thank god," he said with a sigh of relief. I was so confuzzled. "I just didn't want to lose another friend." he admitted quietly. Awwwww. I sat down next to him and hugged him tightly.

"Even though you run at boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella still doesn't find you hot," I said. He looked down at me.

I sighed in defeat and hugged him tighter, "But I do," Curse my niceness.

Step 8:

I sat with Jake watchin the waves on the beach when someone threw a bottle of lotion at my head. I turned around angrily. There was Paul with the camera and an annoyed expression on his face. Crappy peanut waffles! I almost forgot! Jake had made fun of my thinking face! REVENGE!

"Hey Jake remember when Leah told you she was dreaming about kissing Bella because of your feelings for her?"

"How did you know about that?" he looked confused and surprised I had that kind of information.

"Oh. I know everything," I whispered putting a creepy look on my face, "Anyways, back to my question. DO you dream about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. He looked disgusted . . . and . . . a bit guilty?

"EWWWWWWWW! You do!" I laughed pointing at him falling on my butt in the freezing water, still laughing.

Step 9:

I was still laughing 10 minutes after that revelation. I could even hear Paul laughing in the background. When I finally calmed down enough. I figured out the next question to ask.

I cleared my throat, "Sooo," I looked around. When there were enough people within hearing distance I yelled really loudly, "I heard you like to do things doggy style."

Step 10:

Jake had run back to his house once he saw all the people looking at him after my amazing question. Now time for the calendar. I remembered what Paul and I had to go through this morning to get this and giggled. Everyone was still asking when the wedding was and apparently as a joke Esme told them it was in a month. However, she forgot that this town DOESN'T have a sense of humor. Now everyone was waiting for our wedding. Paul was pretty relaxed about the whole thing. Weird.

I quickly dropped the wrapped calendar on Jake's porch and knocked on the door twice. I hid on the side of his house as he opened it. He took out the calendar counting down to when Bella would turn into a vampire. His face turned a weird redish purple color. Suddenly he faced me. I froze on the spot.

"Allison!" he yelled running toward me. Suddenly Paul picked me up on his shoulders and ran. Yay! Take that Jake.

"That's what you get for poking fun at my thinking face!" I yelled.

"Did he really poke your face?" asked Paul still running

"Of course not idiot!"

"You still love me," he said arrogantly.

"Yeah I do," I said exasperated. His face lit up and he grinned up at me. What's up with him?