"I can never understand why people do what they do. Quite honestly, I don't believe anybody can decipher human interactions accurately. Now it seems that once the world has gone to hell, the people have gone with it..."


The 4 inch stainless-steel blade glinted in the lights. He tossed it hand to hand, trying to look like a hard-ass.

I grinned, "That's a neat trick, but the problem with being flashy is that it lets your guard down." With a swift kick, the knife was out of his control and clattering across the floor towards the door.

He stared at me in embarrassment. "Who are you?"

I removed my leather, old fashioned cowboy hat and ran a hand through my hair, "A traveler." I turned back to the bartender, "I believe this gentleman will be picking up my tab."


I walked out of the bar and back out onto the streets. A drunken man laid on his side in a deep, intoxicated sleep with a puddle of drool slowly forming around his face. The sky was beginning to cloud up, and the wind blew hard.

I took out a cigarette and lit it up. Even though rules no longer existed, I still went outside for my cigarettes. The fresh air always welcomes me.

I leaned against a wooden post that shined orange in the lights from the bar window. A light flickered on down the street, and I turned to see the woman I had ran into before.

She approached me carrying water buckets balanced on a pole run across her shoulders.

I looked her up and down again, "Wow, you work like a slave."

She looked down at the ground, "That's because I am."

I coughed on the cigarette smoke, "You-a slave? Why?" I got closer to her and whispered, "How?"

She looked up at me with her brown eyes. Her pupils were like little tunnels that seemed to go forever. "I can't be talking to you…"

I placed my hand on her shoulder as she tried to pass me, "Who says you can't?"

She looked left to right, and then back to me. "Jonesy will kick me for sure if you don't let me go."

I leaned closer to her, and her wonderful scent hit me. I couldn't make it out for sure, but I could say it was a honey smell. Maybe that was another job of hers. She stared at me with a growing fear and anxiety.

I took the cigarette from my mouth and blew the smoke downwards, "Life's tough, huh?"

She nodded solemnly and began to walk away.

"Wait," I called out. She turned her head back and slowed her pace. "Can I get your name?"

She looked up and down the street, "Ashley…"

She hesitated, like she wanted to say something else, but just looked into my eyes. Those eyes could tell a story all too well. I watched her disappear around the street corner.

She wasn't gone for long though, as a group of men pushed her back out around the corner about twenty yards away. She tripped onto the road and the water buckets crashed with her. The men laughed together and began to form a circle. There were only three of them; all built small and wearing overalls. It's not unusual to see gangs in the cities these days, but these guys fit the description of 'phonies'.

"Well, well, well. It's my little slave girl, "one of them said. He appeared to be a figure of leadership in the group. He had the cleanest clothes, with black greased hair…typical. To the best of my knowledge, and considering he called her 'my little slave girl', that must be Jonesy

I turned my attention back to my cigarette. They're hard to come by in the cities, but in the wasteland these things are a dime a dozen. I blew rings of smoke to the sky and took another long drag.

"Please," she tried to reason but one of them stepped closer to her.

I held the cigarette and began to grind my teeth. I don't normally get myself involved in other people's affairs, but this was a tempting ordeal. If there is one standard that I still carry with me too this day, it's that woman are not punching bags. Once Jonesy picked her up and began smelling her hair, my hand was shaking from gripping the cigarette so tight.

She began crying, and the men just began laughing even louder. I started making my way over, when suddenly a man ran out of nowhere holding a gun. I stopped dead and pressed up beside a house.

"This is just cruel, get your filthy hands off her!" the man shouted. He was shorter than me, but a bit taller than them. He was wearing a tight gray shirt that hugged close to his muscles along with boot-cut jeans.

Jonesy began backing up as the other two pulled out pistols of their own. The scene was getting ugly fast, and I decided it was time to make a move. I looked across the street from me at a row of white houses. I decided that if a shootout ensued, there would be a hostage situation to deal with. The best bet would be to take out the man holding that hostage.

I quickly ducked in between the houses and made my way quietly across the backyards.

I hurdled over a small, white picket-fence and peered around the corner of the house. Jonesy stood still now on the edge of the street. I had no time to make up a plan, for the shooting had just begun.

Three shots were fired, and the two gang members collapsed into a heap before the rescuer. I began walking up, keeping my cool and acting normal.

The hostage situation was escalating as a gun was placed to Ashley's temple.

"This slave ain't worth the two men you just killed!" Jonesy yelled.

I stood behind him, about a foot, took a drag on my cigarette, and blew the smoke around his head.

Slowly, he twisted his head back to see my grinning face. Smoothly, I placed my .357 eye level with him.

"Now, move the gun away from her head slowly…"

He obeyed me with wide eyes and awaited further instructions.

I puffed smoke into his face, "Good, now, slowly, let that hammer down…"

He cautiously clicked the gun into a safe position and let it hang limply from his thumb. "Please, D-don't kill me."

"Oh, I'm planning on it, hand over the girl and back up a few steps."

As soon as she was released, Ashley curled into my arms and hugged me tight around the waist while the man put his hands up and backed away slowly.

"Hold on now," I said."Before I decide whether or not to let you live, I'd like to know what you called this girl before…Jonesy…"

He gulped and looked from her to me, "S-slave girl?"

I nodded and spit the cigarette butt to the ground. Then with the best jack-ass voice I had to offer, "Do, do you think you might want to rephrase that a little?"

His hands were trembling now, and he looked at the ground and said, "Nice…not slave lady…"

I rubbed Ashley's shoulder and looked down at her, "Yeah, that's better. I actually like 'Pretty, kind lady who does the work for the lazy pricks'. Don't you think that sounds good?"

He gulped again and nodded.

"Alright, run off now and don't let me see you again," I ordered while slipping my .357 back into it's holster.

The man turned quickly, and I looked up just in time to see the muzzle flash. A bullet rocketed through Jonesy's head and splashed blood onto my face.

Ashley shrieked as the man collapsed to the ground. I immediately looked up to see the rescuer holding his pistol aimed in our direction.

"Release her and back the fuck up!" he instructed.

I pulled Ashley closer to me, and she looked up into my eyes, "No, just do what he says..."

"Why should I?" I protested

"He's my boyfriend!" she explained.

I clenched my jaw and stared back at her eyes. This bitch doesn't give a damn about me or what I just did. Smooth Josh, real smooth. Should've let them all kill each other off because this is how it always ends!

"You have 10 seconds!"

I looked back at him and fingered my holster strap. My tone was as cold as ice, "I'm the fastest, because you're either quick or dead. I'm better than anybody in this entire god-forsaken wasteland. Don't fuck with me or you're already dead..."

The man was taken aback by my comment, but stayed steady.

"Don't do this..." Ashley begged. I looked back down at her, and quickly shoved her out of my way. Once she was on her hands and knees in the grass, I turned back and squared myself with the man. I stared at him through the brim of my hat, wiggling my fingers and cracking my thumbs in my fists.

This poser is foolish; challenging me is like kicking the devil in the balls. Nobody can compete...

I waited for my chance, and it finally came. The first twitch of his lip, the first abnormal movement in his position. The very second the thought even came to open his mouth, I struck.

In a flash, my revolver was drawn and a shot was fired. I hit my mark easily, and the pistol's barrel broke in two pieces causing the magazine to drop to the ground.

I had my .357 re-holstered before he even had time to flinch or Ashley could scream.

I smirked, "If anybody asks who killed these people, it was all you. I was never here..."

The man scowled at me and nodded as Ashley ran to his side.

She sobbed as I walked away, "What are we going to do? We can't stay in town!"

"I don't know!" he replied.

"We can't survive out there alone!"

"I realize that! What the hell do you want me to do!"

I stopped in my tracks, and laughed inside.


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- Legkicker