Heeeeeey so here's another chapter!
I've a week of school so hopefully I'll get another chapter up by next week! Thanks for the reviews guys!
Sakura's POV
When morning rays fell onto my eyelids I rolled over and covered my head with the pillow.
Another day.
It's been nine days since I found that letter, since I discovered the truth that Syaoran's father doesn't want us to be together. Since then, life hasn't gotten even suckier than it was before.
I groaned into the pillow and contemplated on whether or not to suffocate myself there and then.
"Sakura?" Eriol said knocking on my door and peeking through the crack. "You getting up sometime this week."
"Maybe." I mumbled as he came into the room.
He walked around the bed and thrust open the curtains allowing white light to flood my eyes.
"Aaaaaah!" I groaned and rolled the other way.
I felt the bed sink in a little as Eriol sat down on it.
"Come on Sakura you can't just lie in here forever feeling sorry for yourself."
"I could try." I retorted.
Eriol knew. I blurted out everything when he asked me for the fiftieth time what was bringing me down. His response was predictable. He was shocked at first than nodded and gave me the whole 'life goes on despite its difficulties' lecture. However it felt like he was holding back on something. I expected a more psychiatrist answer but it wouldn't have mattered. His words would have gone in one ear and out the other.
He doesn't know about the affair however. I couldn't bring myself to explain how that came about. All he knows is that I found the letter. If he had any suspicions beyond that, he didn't show it.
I've seen Syaoran once since I discovered it and that was briefly in the company of Eriol and Tomoyo after we were at the grave. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. We exchanged a few words but his time was consumed by his father's colleagues constantly talking to him.
I didn't tell him I knew about the letter. Whether I would or not is a decision I still had to make.
I was not angry at him. Not in the slightest. How could I be? It was not his fault I wasn't good enough for him. I admire Syaoran for even keeping our friendship going as long as it did.
"Come on Sakura. There's no point in all this. You're going to make it all worse for yourself."
I sighed lightly and fell out of bed. Dressing myself in a nightgown I followed Eriol into the kitchen.
"At least I have a reason for what happened." I mused over breakfast.
"Does it put your mind to some rest?" He asked making tea.
"It does and it doesn't." I confessed. "Now I know why he did it. He had no choice. On the other hand, knowing he can't be with me… because of Xiao Lang, sometimes I wish I never found out. I should have never read that fucking letter!" I threw my face into my hands and bit down hard on my lip. The last thing I wanted was to upset myself again.
I could smell black tea as he placed in front of me followed by his hand resting on my elbow.
"If you never read it, you would still be in the dark. You can't give up on him though." He said shocking me.
"There's nothing I can do! He can't be with me without losing everything to FANRAN. There's no way around it. I'm just going to have to get over him." I said like it were an easy thing to do.
"You've been trying to get over him for five years now Sakura and how's that working out for you?"
I scowled wishing for once he'd just tell me I was right and there was no hope here. I grabbed my cup and placed myself in front of the computer again. I opened up my E-mail followed by airline contacts and times.
"You're not going to Canada!" Eriol shouted angry I was considering it again.
"I never said I was, I'm just considering. In case you've forgotten, I'm still jobless." My tone was sarcastic and harsh. I was taking my inner frustrations out on Eriol. He patiently took it but I had a feeling it was a matter of time before his patience started wearing thin.
Canada was looking considerably more attractive the more I browsed through my job offer. I never rang them back yet and I only had ten days before I had to give them a reply.
My thoughts were disturbed by a gentle knock on the door. Both Eriol and my heads whirled curious to who lay behind it.
I tensed as Eriol went to open the door.
"Oh hi." He said in a cheery voice that assured me it was not Syaoran.
Fuutie and Feimei walked nervously into the apartment looking fresher than they did last week. Both in spring dresses brightening up my apartment.
"Hey Sakura!" Feimei exclaimed with a wide smile.
"Hey guys." I said logging off the airline page afraid they'd see. "What bring you're here?" I said digging my hands into my nightgown pockets.
They both looked nervous as they stood awkwardly in the apartment doorway.
"Oh well, we wanted to see you before we went to Tokyo for the week! We're going back to China afterwards and we wanted to take you out for lunch! That is, if you're up for it."
I stood awkwardly for a moment wondering why the hell they'd want to spend their last few days with me of all people? Did we bond that much over the past few weeks that they actually genuinely like me?
"She'd love to!" Eriol said on my behalf slinging his arm around my shoulder smiling boldly. "She's been doing nothing all week right Sakura?" He said looking at me.
What was he playing at? Was this his plan of getting me on the road to 'closure' or something?
"Su-sure." I said trying to sound enthusiastic. I fooled them anyway.
"Great!" Feimei squealed while Fuutie smiled meekly behind her. Something was off with Fuutie, I thought. I said nothing as I went to get my coat. Maybe it was a good idea to get out f the house. Shame it would be with his sisters to somehow remind my of my predicament.
"Oh! Eriol-kun, would you like to join us?" Feimei said noticing him.
Eriol shook his head with a smile. "Thanks for the offer but unfortunately I have plans."
"Oh, well maybe next time!" Feimei said.
"Where are you going?" I whispered putting on my coat when Fuutie and Feimei were out of hearing distance.
"Apartment searching." He said lowering his voice.
"Oh..." I pouted. "You know you dn't have to-"
"I know, but I can't keep living with you forever." He smiled and nudged me to get a move on.
"Enjoy lunch." He said in a happier tone eager to get of the subject.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We went t this chic little exclusive restaurant and I had a theory I weren't with the two of them I would have been asked to get of the property. Everyone was well dressed and I, in jeans and a shirt felt very unattractive.
"So what will you guys do when you go back home?" I asked as we settled into a table beside the window.
"Um… same old." Feimei said almost depressed. "Back to awkward dinner parties with mom's colleagues or potential clients, living under her roof, her rules."
"You guys still live with Yelen?" I said extremely surprised at this. "But you guys are over twenty four why don't you just move out!"
They sat silent not knowing what to say. "Mother likes to keep us where she can keep an eye on us. Plus, we've never go anywhere without her knowing."
"Does she know you're here with me?"
"… She knows we're here…" Fuutie admitted speaking up for the first time since we arrived. Something was definitely wrong with her.
"Guys come on! You can't live with your mother forever! You guys going to stay there until your thirty or something? I know how scary it is leaving your home and suddenly being on your own but trust me, when I moved out at eighteen my dad was so miserable he called me every night just to check I didn't get shot or anything!"
After my lecture they both looked extremely guilty before Feimei perked up.
"You're right! As soon as we go back to China we're looking for apartments!" Feimei beamed with a new determination at Fuutie who looked as if she would cry at the very thought.
"We'll see. Mother won't be happy." Fuutie mumbled and looked down at the table." Feimei frowned sensing something seriously wrong too.
Feimei excused herself to take a call leaving Fuutie and I to ourselves. I took advantage of this opportunity and moved closer to her.
"What's bothering you Fuutie?" I asked hoping over the last few weeks she would think she could confide in me.
"What? Oh, N-nothing!" She said not convincing me in the slightest.
"Fuutie." I said more sternly determined to beat it out of her if I had to. Her brown eyes darkened as she caught me gaze.
"I- I shouldn't." she said with her voice breaking. "I don't want to land my problems on you." She started biting her nails probably wishing I'd leave the matter.
"Fuutie, I hate seeing you like this, please, tell me. You never know, I might be able to help you." I said softly persuading her to open up to me.
Her huge hazel eyes widened as her lips parted. "Sakura… -what would you do if, if you knew someone was being… unfaithful."
I felt the colour in my cheeks drain leaving my cheeks grey. Oh God. She seen us didn't she? Oh no. I started mentally beating myself up for prying my way into her thoughts.
She judged my reaction before continuing. "If you knew someone was… cheating, behind someone else's back… and they were engaged."
I tried to form words to justify myself. I couldn't believe this was happening. How could we have gotten caught?
"Would you say something? Or would you keep it a secret for someone else to discover?" Her eyes pleaded with me for an answer.
"Fuutie I… it's not what you think it is." I took a deep breath. "Syao-"
"Oh my God you know?" She stuttered loud enough to draw attention of other people. I shushed her and she slapped her hand across her mouth. "You know about all this?"
"Fuutie what are you talking about?" I said completely confused. "Of course I know!"
"Oh Sakura it must be killing you! To know something like that and have to keep it a secret from Tomoyo."
"Um… yes it is. But Fuutie please! It never meant to happen!" I stuttered trying to figure out how the hell she knew about Syaoran and I. We were so careful during the affair!
"I know it didn't! I know she's your friend Sakura but it's killing me knowing Syaoran will be marrying who's been lying to him."
"I know Fuutie but- wait what?" I said completely confused. "Fuutie… who are you talking about?"
"Tomoyo of course!"
"…What about Tomoyo?" I said holding my breath realising we were having two different conversations.
"Tomoyo having an affair with Eriol!" She said whispering very loud leaning halfway across the table about to fall off her seat.
"T-Tomoyo and Eriol?" I said completely in shock.
"Who else will would I be talking about? Ooooh!" She said biting her nails regretting she told me. "You did know didn't you!"
"… No."
"Then… what were you talking about?"
"Oh… nothing. Fuutie… are you sure? Are you sure you didn't see anything else."
"I know what I saw! I went home early from a brunch with some friends, back to Syaoran's house. I thought I'd spend the day with Tomoyo or something you know, get to know her more. Fanran said she'd be home; they were shopping for her wedding dress I think. I came into the house; it was so quiet I nearly left but then! I heard voices, people speaking, and then some shouting. I walked through the corridor and stopped outside the music room. No one is every in that room, ever! I peeked through the tiny crack in the door, and I saw them. Tomoyo and Eriol, kissing almost passionately for some time. I couldn't move! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I wasn't snooping Sakura honestly I wasn't! I wish I never saw it but I did. She said things too…"
"Go on." I said through my teeth encouraging her to finish.
"Well… she said she loved him, but that she loved Syaoran too, she kept asking if he loved her and would he stay with her. He told her he would as long as she was happy and then…"
"Then… what Fuutie?"
"Then I left, I was nearly caught." She bit her lip waiting for my response to her.
I was speechless. All this time, probably through Syaoran and my affair, Tomoyo and Eriol were doing the same. She… betrayed Syaoran and I, betrayed her. What a sick and deceitful life we all were living.
"Oh Sakura!" She said sniffling and pulling out a tissue to mop her eyes. "I shouldn't have said anything! I'm sorry. I always make thing worse."
I placed my hand over hers numbly. "This has been bothering you for a while now hasn't it Fuutie?"
She nodded. "It's been killing me. Just don't know what to do. You're Tomoyo's best friend so I thought it would be better if you confronted her or something."
"Thanks you for telling me." I said trying to hide the anger at Eriol for not saying this to me earlier. I angered me that he let me spill almost everything out to him and her kept him and Tomoyo a secret. Was he ever going to tell me? To be fair, I still haven't told him what Syaoran and I had.
"Fuutie, I'm not calling you a liar, but just confirm for me… are you sure what you saw is right."
She sniffled again before straightening her spine. "Believe me Sakura; I didn't want to believe it either. I even deluded myself after that I saw nothing, but it's obvious in the way Tomoyo's been acting lately. She walks like a zombie nowadays. When she speaks it's almost forced. Polite but forced. I catch her staring into space a lot and when I speak to her it's like she's hearing me, but not listening."
"What do other people think?"
"Feimei has noticed it too but shrugs it of. Mother is absolutely delighted and see's it as Tomoyo's 'transformation to a Li." She huffed.
"And what does…Syaoran say?" I said feeling guilty almost for saying his name.
"Syaoran?" She scoffed. "He's too busy to even care! He's constantly working and if he's not he'll purposely make work for himself or wallow in self pity. You'd think he was the only one who lost a father!" Fuutie was getting emotional now.
"It's so painful to see them together now. It's like there's no love between them anymore. They never hold hands or kiss or even look at each other! Sometimes I think maybe Syaoran already knows but he couldn't! If he did I know he would have broken it off with Tomoyo and he wouldn't be speaking to Eriol."
My stomach knotted. I was the reason for the strain on their relationship.
"Ok Fuutie. You weren't wrong to tell me. Thank you. I'll make a deal with you."
"Oh?" She said looking worried.
"Yeah, you tell no one about this, and I'll take on the responsibility for what's happened."
"But why?"
"Because this is obviously killing you! Give me your burden and don't worry about it anymore. It has nothing to do with you from now on." I smiled trying to persuade her.
"But this is what I wanted to avoid! I didn't want to put all this on you Sakura. And you live with Eriol too…"
"Please Fuutie. There is no use in both of us worrying about it. Like you said, I'm close to Tomoyo and Eriol so I'll handle it. You have guilt written all over your face too so someone will guess just by looking at you."
She remained sceptical for a moment and just watched me. I kept a smile plastered on my face. Then slowly, I thought I could see a weight lift of her shoulder. Some colour even stained her cheeks with a new glow.
"Only if you're sure Sakura. I hate leaving this too you."
"Not at all. I promise you, it'll all be resolved." I hated not telling Fuutie why I didn't want this getting out of hand. I didn't want to reveal that her brother and I were no better. Why put all that on her? She sighed in relief.
"Thank you Sakura. I actually feel better confiding in you. You really have become like a sister to me."
My heart warmed but then twisted. What the hell was I going to do about all this now? Tomoyo? And Eriol? I never copped it. Damn you Eriol for being so good with your emotions!
"Guess what!" Feimei said rejoining us.
"What?" I said trying to keep a normal tone.
"I got a date!" She cheered clapping her hands rapidly.
"With who?" Fuutie said just as exited as Feimei was.
"Do you remember that Hispanic guy from Sakura's birthday? Well, he called me and-"
As Feimei went into detail of her budding love life I found myself, like Tomoyo hearing her but not listening.
Tomoyo and Eriol, Syaoran and I…What the hell was I going to do about this?
Fuutie indulged herself into her sister's conversation looking happier and more relieved than before. But something still wasn't completely right when it came to Fuutie… There was still a grey shadow that hovered like unwanted mist in her eyes. Was it possible that something else was bothering her? Something that maybe she could not tell me.
Secrets, as I just discovered, in time, will always reveal themselves.
One way or another, Fuutie would be free from whatever it was that was causing her guilt. When that happens, maybe she could truly be herself once again.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When I pulled up to Tomoyo's house I could feel my heart race.
What was I going to say? How would I say it? I had no right to say anything. I was guilty too.
I hit my head off the steering wheel and groaned.
I couldn't seem to grasp a hold of my actions lately. When I dropped Feimei and Fuutie home I kept driving not knowing where I was going until I landed outside their house. I saw no car and presumed Tomoyo was home.
I unclipped my seatbelt and stepped out of the car. A rough wind rustled hair over my face briefly blinding me. I contemplated for a second before taking a brave lunge forward to the house. Black storm clouds hovered above me, watching me as I disappeared into the house which I noticed it was eerily quiet. The staircase stood before me tempting me.
"T-Tomoyo?" I called throughout the house and receiving no answer. "Tomoyo are you here?" I bit my as I rose up the stairs. The hall too was empty. I was about to give up when I heard a gentle thud followed by footsteps from the office beside me. I braced myself for confrontation. But then lost my nerve the as I stepped into the office.
I couldn't let her know I knew, otherwise I'd somehow have to confess to my own deception. Maybe we could clear the air to some degree, sort our bridesmaids dresses like she's wanted to do for sometime, maybe we could-
"Sakura?"
I snapped my head up to meet Syaoran's eyes.
I felt my face pale and my stomach drop to my feet. This just isn't my day. My God he looked awful. His shirt was buttoned wrongly. He had dark circles around his eyes and his hair was dishevelled with an agitated look in his eye. The curtains were half opened, increasing the bleak atmosphere in the room.
I finally found the words to speak after I drank in his appearance. "Where's Tomoyo?" I said in a slightly sterner tone.
It hurt to see him like this. After only nine days he changed so much I questioned myself if it were really him.
"At my mothers house I think." His voice was rough, rough and stood up from his desk clutching some papers.
"Oh. I'll come back later." I said turning my heel to leave as soon as possible ignoring the guilt in my chest.
"Wait!" He outstretched his hand to try and keep me there. When I silence fell he took a second to contemplate on his next words.
"…Where've you been lately?"
"Busy." I lied keeping my eyes fixed intently o the floor wishing I could sink through it instead of lie to him.
"You never answered my calls, I went to you're apartment too. Why have you been ignoring me? What did I do?" His voice cracked and for a second it was like our roles were reversed.
I couldn't speak for a second. I felt so guilty.
"I-I… "
"I stopped by the house a few days ago." He interrupted. "The builders said you looked… distraught."
"Oh, really?" I laughed nervously. "I was just on a downer." I tucked a piece of hair behind my ears and avoided eye contact with him.
"He said you were crying."
"I was a bit teary but-"
"After you left the adjoining room. You were fine going in, but when you came out…"
I bit my lip weighed up my options. Could I tell him? Should I tell him?
"Is there something you want to tell me?" He asked touching my hand lightly.
Unintentionally I flinched and created distance between us. He looked hurt by this action but I knew, I knew if I allowed myself to be exposed to him in any sort of intimate way I'd lose all self restraint. I had to be strict, disciplined.
"Yes," I said staring at his hands. "Syaoran… I found… the-"
"The letter." He finished for me with a cold hard expression on his face. The room seemed smaller, almost claustrophobic like.
"Yes. You knew."
"It's the only thing that explains your behavior towards me. I'm sorry Sakura, now you know why I never wanted to tell you."
I felt a lump rise in my throat as I recalled reading the fine handwriting of Xiao Lang.
'I'm sorry Syaoran, that includes Kinomoto'
"It was an accident. I never meant to come across it, believe me Syaoran I wish I never seen it!" I was on the verge of tears and had to look away and avoid his gaze for fear I would cry again.
"I wanted to tell you about it, but I knew you'd be hurt like this. I knew you'd take it worse if you knew my father was involved." I could tell he was aching as I was. His face was a drained color, grey.
Hurt? Hurt? I was more than hurt, I was devastated.
"It's not your fault Syaoran, and I'm not angry at you. You're father always knew what was best and maybe… I'm not what's best for you."
I motioned to move away from him fast, but was stopped short by his hand gripping desperately at my arm.
"That's not true and you know that!" He said with his amber eyes blazing with emotion.
"Then why would he say that Syaoran! I'm obviously not good enough for you and I never will be! We're going to have to just accept that." I pulled away from him but he would not release me.
"Accept it? Accept it? So you're saying we should give up?" He was tense now; the effects of emotion and lack of sleep were starting to show through his agitated actions. "I love you and I'm not going to simply give up on us."
"What else are we suppose to do?" I said in a defeated tone with my arm collapsing within his hand. This was killing me. To see him like this, so hurt and angry due to decisions previously made beyond his control. "I love you too Syaoran but there's no point in trying to ignore this when realistically it's only going to hurt us both more." I was practically begging him to realise the situation as if he didn't know already.
For a second he stared at me with his mouth slightly agape and lost for words. He knew I was right, surly he knew that.
"There might be a way." He said breaking from me and walking towards the huge window that lay behind his office desk.
"No, there has to be a way. It was not meant to be like this. Meiling will find a way." He was in a trance now, completely immersed in a world where it was possible a light was shining at the end of the tunnel.
"Meiling? She knows about this?"
He nodded more to himself and gazed out onto the lush gardens coloured lightly pink by a few cherry blossom trees. I almost felt him take a huge breath and clear his mind.
"You read the whole letter?"
"Yes."
"Then you know why I couldn't just leave my duties immediately."
"Of course."
"Everything you see here is here only because of my determination to please my father, make him happy. Every single minute I devote to the Li enterprise is to live up to his standards. As you know, I loved my father, admired him. His final wish was to see me head of the business and, as you know I must oblige firmly with the Li tradition."
I nodded as if he could hear me. Sleepily, his eyes looked onto the distant hills and city buildings of Tomoeda.
"Unfortunately in his eyes that meant a life that didn't involve… you, on a romantic level."
Leaned his arm against the window and balled his left fists tightly as if he were to punch the glass out from the window.
"Don't be angry with Xiao Lang Syaoran. The last thing I want is that, especially because of me. He was always such a kind man, I don't want to think badly of him."
"A kind man maybe, but stern and disciplined with tradition." My heart bled for him. He knew how to pull on my heart strings. "I suppose I never saw him so thought he'd take it this far."
"I would have ignored it all Sakura, I would have pretended his word meant nothing only…"
"Only everything would go to Fanran."
"Then everything would go to fuck." He said rubbing his hands against his face in frustration. I didn't blame him. Fanran would single headedly bring an end to the Li business. Not intentionally, bu from neglect and inexperience with the trade.
"Not only would Fanran get everything, I would be thrown out of the family. Fuutie and Feimei would suffer too under Fanran's reign and I can't let them suffer and do nothing about-."
"Syaoran," I interrupted putting my hands up in front of my chest. "I understand. You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm not going to lie. I didn't think things were as complicated as they obviously are but, you've done the right thing. I do love you, honestly but, we'll find a way to move on," I lied as if I could ever find someone else like Syaoran. Like my heart could begin to love another the way it fell so hard for him.
Slowly, he turned himself towards me with an expression I couldn't quite label.
"That's the problem Sakura. I can't."
"You can't what?" I said with my heart quickening its pace.
"I can't… go on like this. These past few weeks have been the… happiness I've ever been in five years. It's like I've found new purpose other than just work. I swore I'd stay away from you and let you live your life but Sakura, it's impossible. I can't go on simply not being with you."
My stomach twisted into a million knots. Please God make him stop! He can't do this to me.
"That's why if Meiling doesn't find a loophole in the letter… I've plan B."
I dared to ask the next question.
"W-What's plan B"
I saw his chest rise and fall a few times before a gentle smile played on his lips.
"I'll give it all up."
For a moment I thought I dreamt what he said. But after blinking a few times I saw him still there before me.
"Give what all up Syaoran?"
"Everything. The business, money, Tomoyo everything!"
"Y-You'll what?"
"I'm sorry it's taken me so long to do this but I know it's the right thing to do!" He said taking terrifying steps towards me. The only reason I didn't back away was because my feet were frozen to the ground making me temporarily immobile.
"I've tried Sakura, I've tried to live this life without you but, it's not worth it. I'm dying inside and in the end being with you is making this life worth living Sakura!"
"Syaoran I- what about all the things you just said? What about Feimei and Fuutie and- and your father!" I said stumbling backwards from him.
"It'll work out! It'll all work out!" He said trying to reassure me but it was all too maddening.
"Syaoran I'm leaving Tomoeda!" I blurted which thankfully for now brought him to a halt.
I saw his muscles tense around his arms and a darkening light in his eyes.
"What do you mean your leaving?"
"I got offered a job in Canada and I'm taking it, I leave March 29th, the day of your wedding, right after the the wedding." It was sickening to hear myself speaking out loud.
"Sakura-"
"No Syaoran, that's what going to happen. We have to stop living this lie deluding ourselves into thinking there's a future with us. You are not going to give everything you worked for up for someone like me."
"But I want to!"
"I don't care Syaoran! I will not be known as the girl who ruined you! The girl who made you turn your back on everything you worked hard for. What if it didn't work out? What if we don't last? You'll have thrown everything away for nothing!" I screamed.
I hated saying this. A long time ago I prayed he would want me enough to sacrifice these things for me but I knew, it was for the best if I drove a wedge between us. It killed me inside to reject him after so many years of wanting him.
"I don't want to be with anyone but you! I've tried that already but every time I look at Tomoyo all I see is you! Whether you like it or not if Meiling can't find anything then I choose you over the business." He shouted to match my volume.
His shirt was loosed revealing his toned chest. His hair was disarrayed like that of a mad man. A man who loved me too much. How can I even think that? It was no sin for a man I wanted to love me too much yet, it simply could not be.
"I will not let you do this Syaoran. I am moving to Canada whether you like it or not and you aren't going to abandon everything!"
"YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING!" He roared.
His words echoed of the walls and back to me like a slap n the face.
I didn't realise I was grinding my teeth so much my jaw cramped. Thick violet veins pulsed in his arms and a deranged look consumed his face. This was getting out of hand.
"You don't think this is breaking me Syaoran? You don't think this hurts me too? It does, more than you know. But if you go back on your fathers wish than not only will you have nothing, you also won't have me." That was the hardest lie I ever conjured up. Of course he'd have me, but on terms that would haunt and curse me till my death.
To throw everything away for someone unworthy like me was something I don't think I could live with. For his sake I hoped this would give him an ultimatum. His business, or nothing.
When I didn't change the serious look on my face I saw he wasn't calling my bluff.
"Whether it's Tomoyo, or some girl worthy of your mother's blessing you will be with someone who isn't me. When I leave Syaoran I'll most likely never come back to Tomoeda. To see you again would hurt too much and land us in this situation again. That's something I don't want. I need closure and so do you. I'm ending this affair Syaoran."
He opened his mouth to say something but stopped short when his phone rang on the office desk. He let it ring and kept his eyes fixated on me, digesting my words. The phone stopped ringing, and then rang again. His eyes briefly made contact with the phone screen and with a furious look he swiped the phone up and answered it.
"What?" He said bitterly. "Who? Can't Seiji take care of that- I see." He hung up the phone.
A dead atmosphere hovered in the air. His fingers correctly buttoned up his shirt. Without glancing back at me he retrieved his blazer and suitcase from the desk.
"There's a problem at work. I have to go. Tomoyo will be back soon I assume." He words sounded almost forced. Like it killed him to speak with me.
"Syaoran please, don't hate me for this." I begged as he busied himself loading his briefcase.
"I have to go now to my work, my everything." Bitterness seeped into his voice.
"Syaoran…"
He strode past me stopping only directly beside me.
Low into my ear he whispered, "Just say the word Sakura, and I'll leave her, everything. Your feelings for me may have diminished, but mine certainly haven't."
I held my breath and thought he'd kiss me, but instead he left both my lips and my body cold and numb.
How could he think that? How could he possibly think I've stopped caring for him? I was right to end this wasn't I? Wasn't I?
I heard the front door slam as he left me in his cold house.
Then amongst the quietness I heard another sound that terrified me.
Something made a 'click' sound, the sound of a Prada heel from behind me. The clicks grew louder as they approached me in the slow rhythm of footsteps. I knew who they belonged to before I turned around to meet the face of Fanran.
She stood there with an expression that told me she heard everything. She must have hidden, avoided Syaoran and listened intently to our argument.
My mouth opened to form words to confront her but I was silenced by her long pointy finger slashed my way.
"Don't. Even. Dare. Speak." She said coming into the office Syaoran and I were in. "Don't you even try to lie out of this Kinomoto. I heard it all" A sly and terrifying smile grazed her lips and she stood in a posture that screamed dominance.
"It's not what you think." I whispered which only made her laugh and snicker to the point where she was holding her sides.
"I heard everything. Looks like Syaoran isn't the golden boy we all thought he was. 'you are my everything! Pure gold!"
"Fanran please I-"
Without warning she grabbed my face with her right hand and glared down at me with those penetrating eyes similar to Syaoran's. her grip tightened around my cheeks making it almost hard to breath.
"Now listen here. I could blackmail you with this. I could make you my slave, turn your pathetic life into a misery."
Fear seeped through every fibre of my body and I hated being completely helpless to Fanran. For a long time she's been waiting to have me this vunerable so she could strike. She had the upper hand now.
"But I'm not going to." She said releasing me until I fell onto my knees. "For too long you have fucked up this family. Can't keep your hands of the Li family can you? Of our money."
"It has nothing to do with that and you know it! I care about Syaoran."
It seemed everything that came out of my mouth just made her laugh even louder. "Sure Kinomoto. You cared about him. Well I'm not going to let this one slip by. I'd get to Canada as soon as I could if I were you. When word of Syaoran's scandal get out, you won't want to be around."
"You wouldn't…"
"Wouldn't I?" She smiled with dagger teeth. "And why not? Why would I give up the opportunity to get what's rightfully mine? I was the first born so therefore I should get it all! You think I love being married to someone like Frank! I was nineteen when mother thrw me at him. He was seventy four!" I cried looking for sympathy.
"For what! For the glory of it all? You can't betray your own brother for self benefit Fanran surely you're not a shallow as that."
The words just left my mouth when her hands smacked across my cheek making me see stars. I grasped my now stinging cheek which burned.
"Don't fucking dare speak to me like that!"
"No one will believe you! It's your word against Syaorans'!" I fumed desperate to stop her.
"Your right," She said making her way to the door stopping briefly to glance at me, "But mother will believe me, and everyone believes mother. Everyone. I assure you Sakura... I will ruin him. You don't have to thank me though, this one, was all you."
She watched me as I paled before her. She was right; Yelen wouldn't hesitate to use this against me. This would be evidence that I was no good, I was poison against Syaoran. Fanran would ruin everything.
"Fanran… please…" She smirked to see me helpless. I would have done everything to stop her but i knew, the benefits she'd receive were more important than anything I could offer her.
"I guess I've won this one Kinomoto. I cant wait to be rid of you once and for all."
I watched her walk away like the end to an unsatisfying horror movie. It seemed that I really couldn't do anything right. I was doing the right thing by letting Syaoran go, but even this ended badly.
I just wanted to put things right! Maybe I should just leave like she said, spare Syaoran of any humiliation and do something Xiao Lang would be happy of.
I sat crumpled on the floor, I thought that my life could definitely not l=plunge lower into the abyss of darkness. But I later on found out, fate would bring Syaoran and I back together in a matter of an unpleasant kind.
Okay so… A lot of writing there.
More to come so R&R!
Again thanks for the reviews there really encouraging! :D